"Wait, are you serious?"

Namjoon's boss frowned. "Yes?" He sighed. "Listen. I get that working overnight security isn't the most fun gig out there, and it gets in the way of family. That's why we have this event once a year. It's a nice, fun time. Mark - you've met Mark, right? - he usually brings his kids, Kunpimook and Yugyeom. They're pretty young though. Xiumin brought his son. Sehun, I think. Some of the others don't have kids, but they have fun, too. So, what do you say?"

Namjoon swallowed.

***

"So, it's Bring Your Kids to Work Day," Namjoon explained to the six toddlers sitting criss-cross-applesauce in front of him. "Or, technically, Night, since I work the night shift..."

"So we get to go to work with Daddy?" Jin asked, his face brightening. "Daddy, pick me! Pick me!"

"I want to go!" Hobi yelled, and Yoongi scrunched up his face. "I just want to stay up all night."

"Can I come?" Jimin asked, his eyes wide as he blinked.

"No, he's taking me," Tae said, standing up and immediately getting yanked back down by the youngest.

"No, I'm going!" Jungkook said.

Namjoon winced. "Actually, I'm taking all of you."

There was a moment of silence before they all cheered.

"YAY! WE GET TO GO TO WORK WITH DADDY!"

"I'M COMING!"

"ME TOO!"

Namjoon sighed. He'd told his boss that he'd bring his kids, but he hadn't said exactly how many kids he was bringing.

This is going to be fun...

***

"...And this is Jin, Yoongi, that's Hobi, this is Jimin, that one is Tae, and he's Jungkook," Namjoon introduced quickly, turning back to face his boss before quickly adding, "They're all mine, I swear," he said, thinking back to the police officer who had given him a suspicious look. "I didn't, like, steal them or anything."

His boss just stared at him with a slightly open mouth before nodding slowly. "A-all right..." After he got over his shock, he smiled at the kids and crouched down. "Hi, kiddos. I'm your dad's boss. You can call me PD-nim. Do you know what we do here?"

Jin shook his head. "No? Do you make stickers? The sparkly ones?"

"No, stupid," Yoongi said. "They make crayons."

"No! Potatoes!" Hobi insisted.

"Um..." Jimin began, but Tae shoved a hand over his mouth.

"Too late! My turn! The answer is spaceships!"

"Nuh uh, they sell seagulls. Right, Daddy?"

Six pairs of eyes went from Namjoon's boss to Namjoon himself. "Um...not really..."

His boss laughed, and the eyes returned to him. "We don't do the selling. That's the store. Your dad and I are responsible for security. We guard the store at night and make sure nobody steals anything."

"Oh." Tae's eyes widened. "Like how Yoongi steals the black crayon whenever I need it?"

Namjoon's boss laughed. "Something like that, only we're protecting more than crayons."

Yoongi narrowed his eyes, giving PD-nim a suspicious look. "That's a lie. Nothing is more important than crayons."

"Stickers!"

"Potatoes!"

"Um..."

"Spaceships!"

"Seagulls! There are seagulls, right? Please?"

PD-nim laughed awkwardly before standing up and facing Namjoon. "I never knew you had so many kids...Where's your wife? Is she coming tonight?"

Jin's eyes lit up. "Mommy?! Mommy is coming?!"

"Mommy's coming!" Hobi yelled, grinning.

All the others kids yelled in happiness.

Only Tae was silent.

Namjoon coughed before pulling his boss over to the side. "We split up," he whispered, and PD-nim's eyes widened.

"Oh, no...I'm so sorry to hear that...Shit, I screwed up...Wait," his boss said, looking apologetic before looking confused. "Your kids don't know?"

"Not...not exactly."

"How did you manage to not tell them?"

"...I've had to be creative. Look, please don't tell them yet...I will, I swear...Just...not yet. I don't think they're ready, and I don't want to ruin the best part of their childhood, you know? They aren't supposed to have to worry about this kind of shit."

PD-nim sighed before nodding. "Fine, I'll keep a lid on it. Sorry about causing you trouble. Now they're all excited with false hope."

Namjoon laughed unevenly. "It's fine." He raised his voice. "It's too bad that they don't want to participate in the coloring competition, though-"

"COLORING COMPETITION?"

"WHERE?"

"I WANT TO COLOR!"

"NO, I WANT TO COLOR!"

"YOU ALWAYS STEAL THE CRAYONS!"

"I NEED THEM MORE THAN YOU DO!"

"YOU CALL THAT ART?"

"EXCUSE ME? YOU WOULDN'T KNOW ART IF-"

"Oooookay kids, calm down, you can all color," Namjoon swiftly intervened. "The coloring station is over here." He ushered his kids toward the coloring table, giving PD-nim a thumbs-up.

When they got there, however, three other little boys were already seated, two on one side and one by himself. They all looked up as Namjoon gave the six toddlers a gentle push toward the table.

"I'm Jin," Jin introduced, aware that it was his job as the oldest to make the first move and make sure they knew not to mess with him or any of his brothers. "I'm a flower, but...but I'm the toughest flower there is."

"I'm tired," Yoongi muttered.

"Nice to meet you, Tired," the older of the two boys on one side, Kunpimook, said. "I'm-"

Yoongi glared at him, cutting him off. "I'll take all of your crayons if you don't shove it."

Kunpimook went silent.

"I'm Hobi!" Hobi introduced, grinning. "Let's be friends!"

"Don't make friends with them," Yoongi muttered. "You have us. Why do you need them?"

"Because you always trip me when I'm running through the living room," Hobi muttered back.

"Only because your head makes a funny sound when you hit the table."

"I-I'm Jimin," Jimin said, raising his hand a little as he moved to stand behind Jin.

"The humans call me Taehyung," Tae introduced with a weird look on his face. "But in my native language, I'm known as-"

"The idiot who broke the toaster," Yoongi interrupted.

"That was once! How was I supposed to know only one slice of bread could fit?!"

"I'm Jungkook," the maknae said, standing next to Jin and tugging on his sleeve. "Jin?"

"Yes, Kookie?"

"Can I color now?"

"Uh huh."

Jungkook smiled and hesitantly sat down next to one of the boys who hadn't spoken yet. "I'm Kookie."

"I'm Yugyeom," the boy introduced, smiling shyly. He was the same age as Jungkook but a whole head taller. "You can call me oppa."

"Um...Jin?"

"Yes, Kookie?"

"What does oppa mean?"

Meanwhile, Hobi sat down next to the last boy. "I'm Hobi!"

"..."

"Let's be friends!"

"..."

"WHY DO YOU HATE ME?" he asked, his eyes watering.

"I don't hate you, you're just loud," Sehun muttered, looking over at Hobi. "Don't cry, that's gross."

Sehun looked back at his own picture. It needs green, he decided before reaching for the green, only someone else took it before he got there. He frowned. Okay. I'll just use blue. But the same thing happened. He looked up to see Yoongi holding both the crayons in one hand.

"Say you're sorry to Hobi," Yoongi commanded.

"For what? I didn't do anything."

"For almost making him cry."

"What even? No." Sehun hesitated before turning his head subtly, trying to see if Hobi still looked upset, but he was glowing, grinning at Yoongi.

"Yoongi! Let's sing our duet!" Hobi yelled.

"No, I don't want to-"

"You hate me too?" Hobi asked, his eyes starting to tear again.

"Okay, what are we singing?"

"Oh, you guys sing?" Kunpimook asked, still not having properly introduced himself.

That's when Hobi and Yoongi started flat out screaming.

***

"Are your kids okay?" PD-nim asked, looking over at Namjoon with a worried expression.

Namjoon just sighed. "Trust me, they're as okay as they're ever going to be."