"Tae?" Jungkook called out, rolling to his left before rolling back to his right. He couldn't get comfortable, which was strange considering that he usually slept rather well.

"Yeah, Kookie?"

"Oh." Jungkook blinked, surprised that Tae was still awake. I thought it was just me. "How did you already know about Mommy leaving?"

There was a long pause, and Jungkook thought Tae had fallen asleep, but then he answered in his somewhat deep voice. "I heard Daddy on the phone with Mommy. He was really angry. But sometimes being angry is just what you do when you're actually really sad. I think Daddy was really sad."

"Oh." Jungkook frowned. "But why didn't you tell me?"

"Cause you're younger than me," Tae answered easily. "Only big kids get to know secrets."

"You're only older by a few minutes!" Jungkook protested, whisper-yelling so Namjoon wouldn't come into their room and scold them for not sleeping.

"I was born in Busan first," Jimin mumbled.

"Oh, you're awake too, Jimin hyung?" Jungkook asked, rolling over and craning his neck to look at Jimin's bed. Like Jin, he got to sleep alone. Benefits of being born in Busan first, Jungkook guessed. But he couldn't see Jimin's face behind the mound of blankets that Jimin liked to sleep in because it made him feel "fluffy."

"Maybe, maybe not," Jimin said, and Jungkook rolled his eyes.

"Tae?" Jungkook asked, and Tae mmhm'ed. "What do you think...about Mommy, I mean."

Tae was quiet for another minute or two before he asked, "What do you think about Mommy?"

"Well, I..." Jungkook played with his fingers. "She was soft. Like when she gave me hugs. And she rocked me sometimes. And she would put a band aid on my finger if I got a boo-boo." Jungkook pursed his lips, thinking hard. "I think she was pretty, but I can't really remember because I haven't seen her in a long time."

Tae nodded to himself. "She was pretty."

"Yeah," Jungkook agreed, and a blurry face came into his mind: dark brown hair, pale skin, brown eyes. But the details were all fuzzy. "I think I miss her."

"Yeah."

"I think I want her to come back."

Tae was quiet for longer this time. "Why, Jungkook?"

"Because..." Jungkook blinked, struggling to put words to his thoughts. "Because she's Mommy. She's supposed to be with us. She's supposed to be with Daddy."

"But remember what I said, Kookie? She made Daddy really sad. I don't like it when Daddy's sad, just like he doesn't like it if you or I are sad." Tae paused, realizing that Jungkook wasn't getting it. "Okay, think about it this way. You spend an hour drawing a picture. It's your best picture ever. You used all the colors and worked really hard on it. But then someone-"

"Yoongi hyung."

"-okay, Yoongi hyung - comes along and rips it up. And then instead of helping you tape it back together or saying he's sorry or giving you a hug, he just watches you cry, and then he walks away."

Jungkook frowned. "That would be mean of Yoongi hyung."

Tae nodded. "Exactly. You would be really sad, right?"

"Right."

"So when you go to play the next day, would you invite Yoongi to play with you? Especially if he already told you that he didn't want to play anymore? Especially if you knew he would rip up your drawing again?"

"No, I wouldn't."

"Exactly. So even if you're lonely, sometimes it's just better to play by yourself. That's what Daddy's doing. Mommy hurt his feelings, and now he has to play by himself and take care of us by himself, and if Mommy comes back, she'll only hurt his feelings again."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

The room grew silent, and it stayed that way for ten minutes. Then, "Tae?"

Tae sighed. He'd been waiting for Jimin to have a breakdown because, well, that was normally what Jimin did. He loved his brother, but sometimes it got annoying, especially when it happened every day or two. "Yes?"

"D-do you remember how Mommy used to tuck us in?" Jimin whispered, and Tae frowned.

He did know. "No," he lied. He didn't want to talk about it.

"Well, s-she used to tuck in all the corners so the monsters couldn't get in a-and Daddy doesn't know how to do it s-so I'm scared that the monsters will get in while I sleep," Jimin confessed quietly, his voice shaking. "That's what I miss about Mommy," he added in an attempt to save face, rolling so his eyes faced the wall and he didn't have to see his brothers. He knew that he was an embarrassment to them because he was so weak and emotional, but he couldn't help it.

Tae stayed quiet, mainly because he did remember how she had used to tuck them in and he missed it too. Not so much because of monsters - he was more into aliens so monsters didn't bother him - but because the cold air always got in under the blanket if she didn't tuck all the edges in and then he woke up with goosebumps on his arms because he didn't sleep with forty blankets like Jimin did.

"D-Daddy tried to do it once but he just got me tangled in the blanket and I was scared because then I was afraid that if the monsters got in, I would be stuck and I wouldn't be able to move and then they'd eat me," Jimin rushed on, afraid of the silence. "A-and now I get lots of scary dreams a-and I'm afraid to go to sleep," he whispered, his eyes prickling. "And I know I'm not supposed to miss Mommy but I want her to come back so she can tuck me in and make the monsters go away." He swallowed, shutting his eyes tightly but then opening them again because he was afraid of absolute darkness.

Because he was facing the wall, he didn't see Tae get out of bed, but he felt his own bed suddenly dip as another body climbed in and laid down next to him.

"T-Tae?"

"All the monsters are scared of me. They won't get you if I'm here," Tae said, not looking at Jimin but instead at the ceiling, folding his arms behind his head. I'm just here because he has more blankets, he told himself. I'm just here because I don't want to be cold tonight.

"A-are you sure?" Jimin asked, but he had already rolled over to face Tae and was curled up against him with his head on Tae's shoulder.

"Yeah," Tae answered, looking down at Jimin and patting his head. "And I'll tuck you in from now on, okay? So don't worry about the monsters, and don't worry about Mommy. Both of them are gone forever."

Jimin nodded slightly, feeling unsure about what Tae had said, but he felt braver with someone else promising to keep the monsters away. He closed his eyes.

"Tae?" Jungkook whispered after a moment.

"What, Kookie?"

"I'm cold. Can I come too?"

"No."

"But-"

"Call me hyung."

"...please, hyung?"

"There's a spot right here."

Jungkook ran out of bed and slid in next to Tae, laying his head on Tae's chest and pulling some of the blankets over him. "I know you miss Mommy too," Jungkook whispered.

Tae stayed silent.

"But it's okay. You said she made Daddy sad, but she made you sad too, right? So you're pretending to be angry, like Yoongi hyung."

He still didn't say anything. Wouldn't let himself.

"But it's okay," Jungkook said, scooching over to give Tae a kiss on the cheek. "You don't have to pretend to be tough. We're the same age."

"I'm a few minutes older than you," Tae said, but his voice was strained. "Of course I'm tougher than you."

"Then how do you explain Jimin?"

"...Aliens."

Jungkook giggled before slowly drifting off, and Tae sighed as he realized that he was the only one still awake.

I have to be strong. Jimin and Jungkook can't do it, so I have to.

I can't say that I miss Mommy.

I have to be strong.

I can't say that I want her to come home.

I have to be strong.

I can't say that I still love her.

I have to be strong.

I have to...

I have...

I...

Tae closed his eyes, wet with tears that would disappear overnight.