Sorry for the wait. I wasn't going to post this until I wrote a little more but I just can't keep you guys waiting any longer. Especially now. And I barely proof read this, so I apologize for the mistakes.

Thanks for following this story and commenting! It means a lot. If anything is confusing, let me know cause I'm tired and quiet possible messed some stuff up. I'm a horrible editor among other things. Sorry.

Also, I'm writing another CM story, not going to post it until it's finished. I've got like, fifteen thousand words? I think? More or less. I don't have a summary yet but when I post it, I'd love it if you guys give it a read. I'll let you know when it's up.

Anyway, please enjoy!

Words: 4,476

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"I'm so over this." Ryder groans, her throat and knees aching as she sits on the bathroom floor, the only comfort coming from the warm hand rubbing up and down her back.

"I'm sorry, love." Spencer mumbles, placing a kiss on Ryder's temple.

"Uh, don't, I'm disgusting." Ryder weakly waves him away, wiping her mouth with the towel in her right hand.

"No, you're not." Spencer assures her, hand never leaving her back. "Morning sickness usually stops after the first trimester."

"That's like what? Twenty weeks?" Ryder asks rhetorically. "That's at least ten more weeks of this."

"I'll get you some ginger ale, maybe some tea, and saltines should help with the nausea."

"I'd kiss you but I got vomit mouth. It's not very attractive."

"You're still the most beautiful woman in the world."

"You're so cheesy." Ryder jokes, smiling up at him. "Let me brush my teeth and then you can have that kiss."

"Are you okay for me to go start breakfast?" Spencer asks as he helps Ryder to her feet.

"Yeah, not sure how much I'll be able to eat, though." Ryder reminds him as she puts toothpaste onto her toothbrush, looking in the mirror to meet his eyes.

"I'll make you extra eggs, that should be easy on your stomach, but you have to eat something."

"Yes, doctor." Huffing, Spencer shakes his head with a fond smile and leaves Ryder to go start cooking.

"Oh, no, I just had a thought." Ryder states as she enters the kitchen.

"What?" Spencer hums, turning to her with furrowed brows.

"My fingers might swell, I won't be able to wear my ring." She tells him, twisting her engagement ring around on her finger.

Chuckling, Spencer shakes his head and moves to place a kiss on Ryder's lips. "It won't be forever."

"I know." She sighs. "I just like wearing it, letting people know that I'm going to marry the greatest guy ever."

"How do you think I feel?" Reid jokes. "I don't get a ring until after the wedding."

"Oh, I can get you a ring." Ryder says with mock seriousness, wrapping her arms around Spencer's waist from behind, leaning her head between his shoulder blades. "You know, if you really want one."

Spencer only laughs, watching the food on the stove in front of him. "He hasn't answered, has he?"

"No." Spencer mumbles softly, focusing on Ryder's fingers as they rub circles on his back.

"I'm sure he will." Ryder tries to assure him but her voice sounds weak even to herself. "I'm sorry, babe."

"There's still time, right?"

"Plenty of time." Ryder nods, turning Spencer around to face her. "Spence, if Gideon wants to come to the wedding, he will. And I really, really hope he does. But it's not your fault if he doesn't, okay? And I know it's not that simple but with this and your father...our wedding is supposed to be one of the happiest days of our lives. I don't want anything to hinder that."

"I'm sorry." Spencer nods, dropping his forehead onto hers.

"No, don't be sorry." Ryder runs her thumb over his cheek. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Let's focus on something else. Like the sonogram appointment."

"Yeah, you're right." Spencer smiles, trying to forget about everything else besides the woman in his arms. "But first, you need to eat."

********

"What about pictures?"

Humming, Ryder doesn't bother looking up from her camera to answer Steve's question. "I've asked Jason and Lora to do photos. Spence is fine with whatever, says it's more my field anyway. You're welcome to help, but I don't want that to be your sole focus."

"Oh, I'm definitely bringing my camera." Steve laughs, leaning against the brick wall next to him as Ryder adjusts her devices settings.

"Hey! I decided on the bridesmaid dresses." Ryder whips her head up, eyes wide like her smile as she looks over to her friend.

"Well, don't keep me waiting."

"After much debate, the red won."

"Good, I've always looked better in red."

Shaking her head, Ryder laughs. "It's just your bow tie that's going to be red."

"The smallest detail, Ry, the smallest."

"Uh-huh." Ryder rolls her eyes. "You get that window shot? Mine just looks off."

"Don't tell me you're losing your touch." Steve mumbles as he moves to stand behind Ryder, looking over her shoulder to the camera screen. "I think your exposure was off."

"Yeah." Ryder sighs, mentally hitting herself for the rookie mistake. "It's fine, I can probably save it in editing. I'll just blame it on the cast." She says, lifting her left arm that was still wrapped in a heavy cast. It as annoying, heavy, and her arm itched under it. She just hoped it would be off before the wedding. "Let's just go get food."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Oh, you will never guess who I ran into the other day." Ryder says across the table to Steve once they've been seated. "Mark."

Eyebrows shooting up, Steve looks into his friend's eyes with a surprised expretion. "Guy you dated in college, Mark? Creepy Mark. Mark Weston? That Mark?"

"No, the other Mark we know." Ryder shoots back sarcastically.

"Wow, I haven't thought about him in forever." Steve continues, ignoring his friend jab. "What's he like now?"

"Honestly? I didn't stay long enough to find out." Ryder blows out a breath, lifting her eyebrows.

"I don't blame you. I mean, he was fine junior and most of senior year, but after you guys started going out, he just..."

"Became super weird." Ryder fills in when Steve trails off. "I mean yeah, as you said, he was fine when he first came to school. Not that I talked to him a lot, but then after he asked me out...I don't know. It's like he became a different person."

"Well, here's to never seeing him again." Steve raises his glass of water to clink together with Ryder's.

"Yes, please."

"You tell Spencer?" Ryder only shrugs and shakes her head, causing Steve to look at her like she was crazy. "Um, and why not?"

"Well, by the time he'd gotten hope, I had forgotten. Then I just didn't see the point." She shrugs again. "I guess I just don't see the big deal."

Still looking like he didn't agree, Steve shakes his head. "You do you, I guess."

"Eh, it's not like I'll ever see him again."

"Let's hope."

********

Unblinking eyes stare at the lit tv screen, an unfocused mind not taking it in as the scenes change. Ryder had woken with a start and moved to the living room. Spencer needed his sleep and she didn't want to wake him.

She thought she might doze off on the couch when a voice startles her. "Why are you up?" Rubbing his eyes, Spencer drags his feet over to the couch.

"Just woke up, couldn't go back to sleep." Ryder keeps her voice soft, looking over as Spencer sits next to her. "I didn't want to wake you."

"The dreams again?"

"Oh, it's not so bad." Ryder tries to wave off his concern.

"They're keeping you up." Spencer says, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his side. "You need to sleep. Especially now. You can tell me about them."

"Why? I see myself or our child dying every time I close my eyes. I see you leaving me. Why would I want to talk about it on top of that?" She hadn't meant to snap, but she was tired and her head hurt. "I'm sorry, I blame that on the hormones."

"It's okay." Spencer holds her tighter. "Those will get worse before they get better."

"Yay," Ryder says unenthusiastically. "I apologize now. For any future yelling or crying. Whatever else."

"You are growing a human being inside you." Spencer shrugs. "I think you have the right to do those things."

"I will not argue that fact." Ryder mumbles as a ringing sounds from down the hall. Spencer's head immediately falls back onto the couch with a groan. "Crime waits for no one, huh?"

"I am so sorry." Spencer apologizes, placing a kiss to Ryder's head before he jumps to his feet to answer his phone. He returns only minutes later, dressed for word, hair still tousled from sleep.

"It's okay." Ryder whispers when he looks at her with sad, apologetic eyes. "I know it's not your fault." She'd known it would be like this from the start, she'd excepted it a long time ago. But that doesn't mean she has to like it.

"I'll call you later, okay? Maybe drink some tea, it'll help you sleep." Spencer suggests, sitting back on the couch beside Ryder.

"Yeah, I'll try." Ryder mumbles, pursing her lips before kissing Spencer. "Stay safe. I love you."

"Love you." Spencer places one more kiss to Ryder's lips before standing once more, taking his warmth with him. With a resigned sigh, Ryder watches Spencer go until the door shuts behind him.

********

Ryder tried, she really did, to get some more sleep after Spencer left. She made some tea per his suggestion. But ended up just tossing and turning. It wasn't just the dreams, but she knew he was at work and she always worried something would happen.

Rubbing her fingers over the circles under her eyes, Ryder sighs just as her phone rings. "Hey?"

"What's up girly?" Natalie's voice filters through the speaker.

"Um, not much, what's up with you?" Ryder questions her friend as she leaves the bathroom, walking into the kitchen.

"Oh, nothing, was just close by, thought I'd bring you something." Nat shrugs. "What are you in the mood for?"

"Hm..." Ryder trails off, scrunching up her face in thought. "Salted caramel."

"Ooh, sounds goods." Nat hums. "Alright, hun, I'll be there soon."

"Okay, thanks, Nat." Ryder mumbles before hanging up the phone. She would gladly accept the company, she was feeling alone right now. She didn't blame Spencer for leaving, he had to, it was his job, he was saving people. But, as selfish as it sounds, that didn't make Ryder feel any better that he wasn't there.

A knock at the door had Ryder going over to open it. She didn't bother looking through the peephole, thinking it was Nat, but when she opened the door, she got a face full of flowers instead. "You Ryder Mathews?" The man behind the bouquet of aster flowers asks, peeking around to look at her.

"Uh, yes." Ryder answers hesitantly, furrowing her brows.

"Alright, these are for you." He says, handing the colorful arrangement over.

"Oh, thanks." Ryder takes the flowers, watching the delivery boys back as he walks away before taking the flowers and placing them on the table. She immediately thinks they're from Spencer, it's not the first time he's sent her flowers, especially after rushing off on a case like he just had. Although there was no note, which wasn't suspicious, but Spencer usually included one with a poem or something.

Shrugging, Ryder is once again called to the door by a knock. "I should give you a key." She tells Nat when she allows the woman entrance.

"I would gladly accept it." Natalie smiles as she walks in, a bag in one hand, drinks in the other. "Alright, got your caramel and some fudge, looks great."

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?" Nat questions her suddenly serious friend, her brows furrowing.

"Eat this crap and keep your perfect figure." Ryder chuckles, gesturing to the sugary food and Natalie's frame.

"Okay, don't say that like you don't look just as good."

"Not for much longer." Ryder mumbles, placing a hand over her stomach.

"You'll be just as beautiful when you're the size of a house, don't worry." Nat shrugs and Ryder laughs. "And it's not forever. Once your son or daughter is out in the real world, you can resume your regular workouts."

"I run, it might take a little more than that." Ryder takes the offered treat from her friend as the woman walks around the counter for napkins.

"Those are beautiful." The model observes, nodding towards the flowers when Ryder turns to her. "What did Spencer do?"

"Nothing." Ryder chuckles at her friend. "Just had to rush off on a case late last night. He always feels bad about doing that."

"Aw, sweet." Nat joins her friend as they walk to the couch. "Steve always gets me flowers when he's done something."

"Oh, like?"

"If he's late for dinner." Nat shrugs as she lists off things. "Has to cancel a date. Now, we don't fight, let's get that straight, but we argue. He'll always get me flowers and we make up."

"Doesn't really surprise me." Ryder smiles. "You should've seen him in college. Despite acting like this big player, which he had everyone convinced he was, he was sweet, never really dated much. I think he had two girlfriends."

"Did he ever ask you out?"

"How do you think we met?" Ryder asks, bending over as she and Natalie laugh. "No, no, never. It was right off the bat, my freshman year, he was a sophomore. I don't know, he just kind of took me under his wing, I guess you could say. We've been best friends ever since."

"Please tell me you have pictures of him from then." Nat pleads when the thought hits her, looking at Ryder with hopeful eyes.

"You bet your cute little butt, I do." Ryder nods before pushing off the couch and rushing back to her room. Of course, she had many pictures of her best friend. They'd both been into photography and often did photoshoots with each other for practice. "Alright, this is just one album."

"Oh goodness, how many do you have?"

"That's not important." Ryder dodges, opening the book up and pointing to the first picture. Steve was a little skinnier, his hair was longer. He kept his facial hair shaved back then as opposed to the stubble he keeps now. "Alright, these are not my best works but we're not here to judge that."

"Aww, look." Nat points down at a photo of Steve giving the camera a serious face. "His hair, it's so long."

"Yeah, he rocked the man bun for a bit there. He loved it so much back then, but he'd kill me if he knew I was showing you these now though."

"Oh, well, you're crazy if you think I'm not keeping one of these. Talk about blackmail gold." Nat chuckles as she turns the page.

"He'll never be late to another date again." Ryder laughs along with her friend as they continue to look through the photos. "Alright, find something to watch? I gotta pee."

"Aye aye captain." Grabbing the remote, Nat turns on the tv and looks through the movies until Ryder returns. "I've seen everything." She states boredly, punctuating each word with a hit of the arrow button.

"We can rewatch something." Ryder suggests before her head snaps up. "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

"Really?"

"I love that movie."

"Yeah." Nat nods, then hesitantly adds. "Me too."

"Yes!"

********

"Yes, I'll let you know." Ryder speaks into her phone, eye forward as she walks down the sidewalk. "Bye, Roy." Hanging up, the young woman slips her phone into her pocket before continuing on her way. With Spencer gone and no work that day, she's decided to run any errands she could.

She'd handled flowers for the wedding earlier that morning. It wasn't going to be a big wedding, but she wanted it to be nice. A friend of a friend makes wedding cakes, she was going to check up on that later. Now, she had just left a baby store. Sure it was still early but when she walked by, she couldn't help herself. There were so many things, things she would need soon. But they didn't even know the baby's gender yet, she didn't want to buy anything too soon.

Spencer has been so busy that they hadn't done more than the simple goodnight and good morning text. Ryder missed him already but she understood he had to focus on work. People could literally die if he doesn't. So, she distracts herself with things. Like a cheese croissant.

As soon as the thought hits her, Ryder makes her way to a nearby cafe that she knows has them. It might not be a pregnancy thing, she's not sure, but that's what she'll blame it on.

The smells overwhelm her as soon as she opens a door. Voices of the other patrons reach her ears and she takes her place behind an older gentleman, waiting patiently until she could order.

Despite the many voices, the little shop wasn't overly busy and Ryder gets her food quickly and moves to a table in the corner, pulling out her phone to go through her shopping list while she eats.

"Funny seeing you here." The voice has Ryder's head snapping up, brown eyes meeting blue.

It takes her a second to answer, eyes slightly wide as she stares at the man in front of her. "Oh, hi, Mark." Out of all the places, they happened to be in the same one at the same time? Ryder thinks while cursing her luck.

"Mind if I sit?" Mark asks while gesturing to the seat, only he takes it before she can answer, settling across from her. "How've you been?"

"You mean since I saw you last week?" She can't help but ask. "Not much has changed." Her morning sickness was worse but she wasn't about to tell him that.

Mark only chuckles at her response, the only tell that he minds her sarcastic remark is the slightest clench of his jaw. "You uh, got plans today?"

"Um, you know, errands." Ryder shrugs, shifting in her seat. She doesn't know why he makes her so uncomfortable, he was being civil. Still, her gut felt weird. But maybe that was related to the fact that she was growing a human inside of her. "Normal stuff."

"Well, that can't have you busy all day." He says, and for the first time, Ryder notices he has no drink or anything. Maybe he saw her before he'd ordered. "We should grab lunch together. Since we didn't get to catch up the other day."

"Um," Ryder hesitates. She wants to say no but it feels rude.

"Oh, come on," Mark continues when she falls silent. "It's just lunch and you don't have to run off to your fiancé this time." He says it with a laugh but Ryder doesn't like the way he said it or the way his tone changes at the word fiancé. It was the smallest thing, she wouldn't have caught it a few years ago but she did now. But she shrugs it off anyway.

Opening her mouth, Ryder closes it before she can speak. She had about agreed, almost did, but the words were too hard to force out. Something inside her was telling her to getaway. "I appreciate the offer, Mark, but I'm going to have to decline." She stands as she tells him, ready to leave.

"You don't have too." Mark tells her, his voice just slightly less cheery. "Come on, Ry," She's always loved that nickname, but not from him. "It's just lunch."

"I said no, Mark." Ryder turns to him, making her words loud and clear.

"Hey, is this guy bothering you?" A new voice asks as a figure appears at Ryder's side and she looks up to see an unfamiliar man.