MakiTheFortunate

on that drunken night replayed in my head over and over and over again. Days after days until Thanksgiving.

So maybe I did push him away before things escalated, but it was painful that he didn't even remember what had happened that night. I'd stylishly come up with ways during the week to include the kiss in our conversations, but Caelum kept staring at me weirdly.

I'd refused to directly say anything because I knew what was going to happen when I did. He was either going to become an asshole like he'd always been, walk away from me and complicate whatever kind of friendship we had, or reject me before I even had the chance to confess my feelings. And you know what? I would get burned. Once again.

Thanksgiving came along pretty fast this year and I had mixed feelings about it. It wasn't only about the turkey and roasted potatoes, which I did love eating. It was a time to get the family together. A time to be thankful for what we had and for what we did not have, a time to be thankful for how far we had gone and how many chances we were given after our mistakes, a time to be thankful for living, and how much time we had left.

The last time I'd celebrated thanksgiving was the year after Father died. Mum and I sat awkwardly at the dinner table and stared at our burnt food before retreating to bed. After that year, I turned bitter. I was jealous of the perfect families, the perfect turkeys, and the perfect potatoes I saw on television. But although I was jealous and bitter about how perfect they were, I was always thankful for being alive. This year wasn't an exception. It was Thanksgiving, after all.

I wore the last dress I'd gotten from my Mother: a long-sleeved burgundy colored dress with a turtle neckline. It stopped a few inches above my knees, hugged my chest, and flared from the waist down. I hadn't worn this dress before nor did I ever think I was going to wear it but here I was, pairing it with one of my black flats.

After curling my hair, applying my makeup, and easing my nerves, I casually walked down the stairs and into the living room. Mother and I had gone shopping yesterday—exactly a week after she'd said she wanted to—and she made sure to buy all the ingredients she needed for the thanksgiving dinner.

Mum placed the pecan pie on the table just as the doorbell rang. She was in a long red dress with a sweetheart neckline and her hair was styled in a low messy chignon on her head.

I watched in both amazement and horror as her green eyes lit up at the sight of the tall man at the door. Brett. She quickly ushered him in and I muttered a small "hello" in greeting. When he brought out his hand for a handshake, I knew mother held in her breath as they both waited for my response.

Yes, I did avoid confrontations occasionally but I knew when and how to be serious. Stretching out my right hand, I watched as his lips quirked up to form a smile.

Brett reminded me so much of my father. He had hazel eyes just like my dad and his hair... oh, my God. His light brown hair was styled just the same way Dad used to style his. The similarities between the man standing in front of me and my dad in the grave were overwhelming.

Brett was forty-three years old. My dad would've been forty-three if he were alive.

Turning back to my mum, I only had one thought rolling around in my brain. Did my mother fall in 'love' with this guy because he was him or because of the striking resemblance between him and her late husband?

When the food was served, I couldn't bring myself to chew and swallow. It was extremely hard to do so when my late dad's lookalike was sitting right in front of me. I was hyperventilating and I knew I couldn't sit there for much longer.

Thanking Mum for the food, thanking Brett for coming over, thanking the Lord for still being alive to witness this thanksgiving and witness dad's lookalike, I quietly walked upstairs, picked my car keys, and left the house.

I wasn't going to Emery's because I didn't like Brett, but because I needed to keep my emotions in check. Brett wasn't a bad guy, but he was too good to be true. All my doubts about him being bad and not good enough for my mother were wrong. Every one of them.

The look in his eyes when he asked me about school, my friends, and even my life showed that he genuinely cared about my answers. The way he looked at mum... It was something else. His eyes showed that he truly did care about her.

On reaching the Jensen's door, I realized that I was about to disrupt their evening. As I contemplated whether or not to ring the doorbell, Caelum opened the door.

The look on his face was the same look he gave every time he saw me. Meaning he still didn't know anything about the kiss. But then I realized something. Caelum not remembering what happened that night was a good thing. It could be as though the kiss never happened.

I wouldn't tell him, not my mum, or Clara, or Melanie, or even Emery. But still...the guilt in my heart was tearing me apart. I ignored it.

"Is Emery in?"

"No," he said. "They went out for thanksgiving."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So, why didn't you go with them?"

Shrugging, he leaned against the door. "I chose not to."

"Oh, cool."

He eyed me. "Why did you come here dressed like that?"

I looked down at my outfit and frowned. I actually put in a lot of effort tonight and I thought I looked good enough...

"I didn't mean it in a bad way," he continued, waving his hands. "You just look really pretty and I was wondering why you came all the way here on thanksgiving when you should be with your mother and yeah."

I clamped a hand on my mouth to hold in my giggles as Caelum's cheeks tinted pink. Oh, my God, that was so cute!

"Thank you," I said, my mood lifting by a notch. "Can I come in? I'm freezing."

He gestured for me to enter, quietly following behind.

"Do you really want to know what happened?" I asked softly, making myself comfortable on a couch in the living room.

He shrugged, sitting opposite me. "If you want me to."

"Okay, so you remember the time at the graveyard?" I asked, staring at my fingernails. I honestly had no idea why I was telling him this, but I knew it was a step forward in whatever type of friendship we had.

"You went to meet your dad," he said.

I never told him anything so how did he know all these? I made a mental note to ask Emery about it when I saw her, so I continued. "Yeah, so my mum has a new man in her life and she invited him for thanksgiving because I agreed to meet him and—"

"Did you decide to meet him because you really wanted to or because you were doing it just for your mother?"

I sighed. "Just for her."

He nodded, gesturing for me to continue.

"Yeah, so I decided to meet him today. Do you know why I ran away after meeting him?"

"No Daesyn," he stated. "You haven't told me."

Smiling sheepishly, I continued. "He looked just like my dead father. The similarities between them were too much and I just"—I inhaled a sharp breath and I bit my lip to prevent myself from crying—"I just don't know anymore. I have a feeling Mother 'loves' him because he's dad's lookalike and it feels like we're going to replace him even if... I don't even know. I'm just so confused right now."

Caelum stared at me for what felt like an eternity before standing from where he sat and opening his hands wide. "Do you want a hug?"

My mouth fell open.

"Don't be so surprised, Daesyn," he said. "I'm only returning the favor."

I have no idea what possessed me to do what I did seeing how confusing things were becoming lately, but I knew getting a hug from Caelum was a once in a lifetime opportunity. And so, I made the best out of it.

You know that moment when your emotions get the best out of you and no matter how hard you try to control them, it doesn't work?

"Let it all out," he said.

And I did.

At the beginning of thanksgiving, I had sworn I wasn't going to shed a single tear but there I was, giving in. I leaned against his chest, my tear-stained face dampening his shirt. It felt like the day he'd come all the way to my house to apologize, and just like last time, he said nothing. And even if he did, I didn't hear him. I just rolled up his shirt in my fist and I cried.

When my cries had subsided, he said, brushing my hair with his fingers. "No matter what happens, your dad will always remain in your heart. It doesn't matter how many people come and go, nobody in the whole world will be able to replace him."

Nobody can replace his mum too...

"This is the first time," Caelum muttered on my hair as he tapped my back repeatedly.

"What?" I asked quietly, tightening my hold on him and snuggling closer into his chest.

"This is the first time I've willingly let a girl get this close to me."

Chuckling, I lifted my head, staring at him through my lashes. "Caelum, I'm the first girl that chose to get close to you."

"Don't look at me like that," he said, narrowing his eyes down at me.

"How?" I asked, confused.

"Just forget it," he muttered. "You're done crying, so scoot away."

"Give me a minute." I rested my head back on his chest, inhaling deeply. Pine and cinnamon. "I'm still crying."

"Your mood swings are really weird," he said. "But you won't be Daesyn without them."

"Why don't you have friends, C?" I asked out of the blue. "You're actually a nice person."

"Ugh, Daesyn!" Caelum groaned.

"What?"

"Can we not do this sappy shit right now?" he replied. "My feet hurts."

"When should we do it?" I asked.

"Never."

"You promise to hug me if we sit?" I reasoned.

"Are you always this clingy?"

"No." I shrugged, shifting away from him. "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity with my cru- crew."

He stared at me in disbelief. "Crew?"

"Yes crew," I replied, going to sit. "I'll keep you company until Emery, Linda and your dad comes back. My way of thanking you."

He raised an eyebrow but thankfully dropped the subject. "What do you want to do?"

I patted the empty space beside me. "Come sit with me, C," I said. "We made a deal."

Scoffing, he 'reluctantly' came to sit beside me. "I did not agree to this."

"Oh, Caelum." I grinned, resting my head on his shoulders. "You know you can't say no to the amazing Daesyn."

"Shut up."

"Fine." I positioned my body so I could see his face. "Let's play twenty questions."

"Do what you want." He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm only doing this because I don't want you to cry."

I wiggled my brows, letting a small smile slip. Seems like Emery's sly behavior was rubbing off of me. "You don't like seeing me cry, C."

He shrugged. "Yeah, you look ugly when you cry."

I glared at him but changed the subjects again. "Why do you not have friends? You're not that bad of a guy."

He snorted. "Didn't you call me rude and obnoxious some weeks ago?"

"I didn't know you then and you never tried to prove otherwise," I defended. "Now, I'm getting to know you and I find you... less rude and obnoxious. Tolerable?"

"Keep telling yourself that," he muttered.

"So, are you telling me or not?" I asked, already annoyed.

"I didn't grow up in Hill-wood, you know?" he asked. I didn't know he didn't grow up here in Hill-wood, but that explained why I suddenly went to school during sophomore year and I saw him and Emery. "So, when I lost my mum and everything happened, we moved here to Hill-wood and I didn't like it, and I never bothered to make friends."

"That doesn't sound like the whole story..." I muttered but decided to leave it at that. "It's your turn."

"Uh... what kind of songs do you listen to?"

"Lame," I booed and he instantly glared at me. "I listen to anything interesting, that soothes my ears, brain, and brain cells. How about you?"

"Same. Anything works for me."

"Makes sense." I nodded. "Can I see your drawing book?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No, Daesyn," he said.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you to see it."

"Do you have a drawing of me?" I asked.

He pursed his lips, completely avoiding any form of eye contact. If that wasn't a weird reaction, I had no idea what it was. "Why should I have a drawing of you?"

"Because I'm amazing," I spelled out.

"This is not even twenty questions." He sent a glare my way, crossing his arms. "You're the only one asking the questions."

"Hey, C?" I mused like he hadn't spoken.

"What?"

"Tell me something nobody knows about you."

He contemplated opening up, but maybe he saw something in the way I looked at him because he sighed. "So, when I was younger," he said. "My mum took me to her College—"

"She had you when she was still in college?" I cut in.

"No," he said, glaring at me for interrupting him. "She was taking a course or something. I don't know."

"Oh, that's cool."

"Yeah," he agreed. "So, she told me to explore the school while she attended her classes, and I went to the college library to do my homework."

"Get to the interesting part, nerd," I said, staring at our fingers side by side on his lap. The thought of linking his fingers with mine made me smile, but I didn't go on with the thought.

Caelum sighed. "If you yell at me again, I won't finish the story."

I smiled up at him. "Fine. I'm sorry."

"I had this crush on this girl who said she loved smart guys," he continued. Funny, because I could remember saying something like that in middle school. "So I figured if I looked really smart, I could draw other girls in too."

I chuckled.

"Then I grabbed a stack of thick books on Calculus and Algebra and placed them on the table, pretending I was really into them." Caelum suddenly linked his fingers into mine and it took all of my senses to stop myself from squealing. I liked the feel of his palms against mine. I liked it a lot. "A few minutes later, a college girl pulled a seat beside me asking me if I was going to be able to tutor her for her test. She said I looked really smart and she loved smart guys."

I barked out a laugh. "No way."

Caelum chuckled. "That really happened, I swear."

He continued. "I told her I was really busy, but I could tutor her the next day. The opportunity to tutor a college girl was a once in a lifetime opportunity. I couldn't miss that," he added. "Anyway, I used my mum's library card to collect a lot of books from the library, and when I got home, I studied like I'd never studied before."

My eyes were literally brimming with tears. "I can't believe you did that."

"What annoyed me the most was that she already had a boyfriend. I couldn't believe I wasted hours learning a bunch of useless information to tutor a girl who already had a boyfriend." The way he said 'boyfriend' was hilarious.

"Tell me more," I said, leaning into his touch. And he did. It felt amazing: his hand drawing circles on my flesh, and the other playing with my hair. I didn't want to let go—no, I never wanted to let go.

We talked about anything and everything, and when it was time to leave, I almost cried. I knew days like that didn't last forever, and things were going to be different the next day. But it still hurt because I was past the crush stage. I was falling deeply, and it was too late to back out. 

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Author's note:

I stayed up all night to write this chapter, I'm exhausted af ;( (peep the doawk reference in this chapter)

And, I really don't know why but it seemed a bit different from my normal writing style but I don't know what happened. Please tell me I'm not the only one thinking that way.

Anyway, my posting schedule for next week and the other weeks may change. I haven't thought about what should happen yet and I think I'm losing inspiration already (I won't give up on my babies tho)

Finally, I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! Please leave your votes and comments ly <3