fell two nights after Christmas and I wasn't as pumped as I'd initially thought I would be.

The thoughts of wanting to share Caelum's grief with him drained me completely the past few days, and I couldn't try to imagine how he had been feeling all those years.

Although a part of me felt guilty that me not recognizing him only added to his pain, this time around I knew I couldn't go to him.

If he wanted to explain things, if he wanted to apologize, if he wanted to speak to me, he had to work for it. I was done walking on eggshells around him, not knowing if whatever stuff I said was going to make him mad. I was done apologizing for the things I did, directly and indirectly. I was done with it all.

Snuggling deeper into my duvet, I waited for the sleep to engulf me. All I'd been doing these past few days was eat and sleep. Mum didn't let me go out because of the snow and to be honest, I wasn't really complaining.

Melanie was out of town for the holidays, and Clara didn't really care about anything else except her bed. Emery... well, we hadn't spoken much as we used to and I knew things were changing. Even though I had already forgiven her, I was human and it wasn't easy to put everything behind me.

The vibration of my phone woke me up and I squinted my eyes at the screen after unlocking the phone. There were several messages from Emery, Wyatt, Clara, and even Melanie, and I jolted up when I read the first text.

"Daesyn, it's urgent!!! Aatami hasn't come home!!!"

That was the first time I received a well-written text from Emery and so I knew whatever was happening was really urgent. Emery's call came in just as I was about to call her and I picked up.

"Daesyn." I could imagine her running her hand through her blonde hair. "Have you spoken to Aatami? He isn't picking up or responding to any of our texts."

"I didn't speak to him," I said. "Didn't he tell you guys where he was going to?"

"He said he was going for a walk—"

"Under the snow?" I interrupted with a frown.

"Yeah, he said he was only going for five minutes—"

I sighed. "You shouldn't have let him leave the house," I said. "Never mind, where do you think he went to?"

"There're a lot of places he could've gone to," she replied and I pursed my lips.

"I'll go check the places I know," I said, standing. "If I find him, I'll send you a text or something."

After hanging up, I quickly changed into jeans and wore a coat on my pajamas top before slipping my feet into my canvas. Pulling my coat closer to my body, I picked my car keys from my study table, turning towards my door and walking downstairs.

Mother looked up from the movie she was watching, lowering the volume as she did so. "Where are you off to?"

"Uh... Emery's?" I responded.

She quirked her brows. "Are you asking me?"

"No mum," I replied. "I have to go to Emery's."

"Don't tell me you're going there because of that boy?" she asked incredulously and when she didn't get a response, she placed a hand on her forehead. "Daesyn, it's dangerous out there! You can't just waltz out whenever you want!"

"I'll be back in an hour," I compromised. "Please mum?"

"No!" She sat up. "Whatever you want to do can wait."

"Please mum," I clasped my hands together. "I just have to do something, it can't wait!"

"I don't care." She shook her head. "I'm not putting your life at risk."

"Well, Caelum's life's at risk!" I yelled, not waiting for an answer before bolting out of the doors and into my car. I heard her shout from inside the house meaning she was going to be really mad at me when I came back, but I just had to look for Caelum.

As I drove out of the driveway, I realized I had no idea where Caelum could be, and Emery and Wyatt were probably as clueless as I was. I racked my brain for any possible places where he could've gone to since he'd never mentioned any special places to me before.

Because of the snow, it was pretty hard to navigate around—especially by that time of the day, but I still drove to the graveyard.

He wasn't there.

I went to the shopping mall next and he still wasn't there. Not like I was expecting him to be at the mall or anything.

I decided to go to the hangout since he said he went there a lot.

On reaching the club, I realized I didn't have an ID nor was I properly dressed for clubbing. Going back home to change wasn't an option, so I put on my big girl panties and casually walked out of the car.

I was glad when I spotted the two bouncers of last time standing in front of the doors. "Hi," I greeted, trying to act casual.

"Your ID, miss," the bouncer with a mustache said, not replying to my greeting.

I placed my hands in my pockets acting like I had an ID in there. I finally sighed, bringing my empty hands out of my pockets. "I didn't bring it."

"Well, you can't enter," baldy replied and I quickly thought of something to say.

"My fiancé is in there with my keys, I can't go home either," I lied.

"Then call him to come out with your keys," baldy said in a duh tone.

I shook my head. "My phone is locked in the house. How do you expect me to call him?"

Mustachy sent a glare my way. "I do not think that is our business, miss."

"Please, our baby is locked in the house alone," I said with a sigh. "I don't want her to harm herself."

Baldy looked like he was going to give in, but mustachy couldn't care less. "Miss, if you do not have an ID," he said. "You cannot step into the club."

"What about my baby?" I yelled, drawing the attention of the people near-by. "If anything happens to her, I'll take you to court."

"I would like to see you do that, miss," mustachy replied, frowning.

"I'm sorry about the court statement, but if I don't come out within five minutes, you can throw me out," I compromised and they both shook their heads.

"Please," I begged. "Just five minutes, my baby could be harming herself!"

"Don't you have a spare key or something?" Baldy asked and I shook my head. "You'll be out of there in five minutes, yeah?"

"Yes!" I nodded and baldy gestured for me to enter.

Mustachy looked like he had more to say, but he kept quiet and moved away from the door. It was obvious who the nice one was.

"Thank you so much!" I told baldy before stepping into the club.

We were a few hours into the new year so I wasn't expecting anything less when I looked around, but how was I supposed to find Caelum in this place? It was so crowded!

Squinting my eyes, trying to focus since the strobe lights were doing nothing to aid my vision, I looked around for Caelum. I was pretty sure my five minutes were already well spent but I couldn't leave without searching for Caelum.

I held my coat closer to my body as I awkwardly pushed and shoved my way through the multitudes of people enjoying themselves on the dancefloor, all the while muttering polite statements they didn't care about.

When I reached the bar area, my eyes thoroughly skimmed through the people sitting there before I spotted his messy curls.

Finding him wasn't that hard, thank God!

"Hey," I said with a tap on his shoulder when I got to where he was sitting.

He lazily lifted his eyes from his bottle and turned to me before turning back to the bottle. As if recognizing who I was, he swiftly turned back to me. "What are you doing here?"

"I have just five minutes," I said, pulling him up with all the strength I could muster. "We have to go, and we need to talk."

"Are you his wife?" the red-haired I didn't pay attention to suddenly asked and I averted my gaze to her, confused at the question. "He said he was married so we couldn't hook up."

I bit my cheeks to prevent myself from laughing. "Yeah, we got married last week."

"Wow." She leaned forward, looking genuinely interested in whatever I had to say. "You both look so young though."

I held Caelum closer to me before he wandered somewhere else before nodding. "Yeah, we want to be together forever."

"I'm so jealous." She crossed her arms, leaning backward with a pout. "I should get married too."

"You should make that decision when you're sober," I said. "It was nice meeting you, but we have to go."

"Hmm," she muttered. "Bye."

I responded with the same enthusiasm she gave before dragging Caelum out of the club. Baldy and mustachy looked at me suspiciously as we left but I sent them a small wave instead, walking towards the direction of my car.

After what seemed like hours of struggling to get Caelum into the car, I sent a quick text to Emery telling her I had found him and I was bringing him back. When I got in, I placed my seatbelt on, calming the urge I had to yell at him for acting so recklessly before turning on the ignition and driving away.

The tension during the car ride was so thick, I couldn't be any happier when we arrived at the Jensen's. Keeping my mouth shut, I waited for him to exit the car.

"Did you think it was fun?" he spoke up instead, and I lifted my eyes from the steering wheel in confusion. "All those years, pining after you. Did you think I found it fun?"

"I never said it was fun now, did I?" I pursed my lips and he chuckled before turning to look out of the window.

"You don't remember that day, do you?" I was about to respond but he continued. "The day you wore your oldest and dirtiest sneakers to school just because I was bullied for wearing mine."

My heart clenched at his words and I looked away.

"You did it the second day, and the third, and the fourth, and the fifth, and even though you never uttered a word to me, deep down I knew I was gone. And for every good thing you did, I never opened my mouth to say thank you because I thought you were going to leave if I told you what I really wanted to say to you. I started writing those notes because I wanted to say the things I couldn't say."

"I figured that out," I said and I saw a smile playing on his lips when he turned back to me.

"The first time you came to our house, I thought you were going to recognize me because of the way you stared at me for so long, but then you brought out your hand and said, 'Hi, I'm Daesyn,' and I lost it. I was mad at you for still not being able to put the pieces together but later on, I was happy you didn't recognize me."

I blinked repeatedly. "What?"

"Yeah, I was happy because you thought I was a new person entirely, not the Aatami from middle school with a lot of baggage."

I averted my gaze back to my fingers, not knowing what to say, so I walked out of the car and opened the door for him. The second he left the car, it was as though a switch flipped inside him. He wrapped his arms around me, resting his face on my shoulder.

I froze.

My eyes were starting to water, and even though I'd tried convincing myself the past few days that I was pretty much better off without him, I needed the hug.

I abruptly pulled back when reality hit me. He was the one who wanted to go on a break, and then he was hugging me? Who even does that?

I crossed my arms, pursing my lips. "You can't do this," I said. "You wanted to go on a 'break,' and we are taking the break. So, go back in and leave me alone."

He sighed, staring at his house before moving closer by an inch or two. "I was stupid," he said.

I scoffed. "When aren't you?"

He smiled a little, stepping even closer that our lips were going to touch if one of us moved an inch. "I don't know if you don't care about my feelings, because it's the same back and forth with you," I said. "Why didn't you realize how stupid your words were on the night you wanted to take a break?"

His face fell, and I almost felt bad for talking like that. Almost. He grabbed my hand, pulling me closer until my body was firmly pressed against his. "I knew it was stupid, but I couldn't just tell you sorry because I knew I messed up," he said. "I missed you."

Once again, and for the one-hundredth time with Caelum, I gave in.

-

Author's note:

This is the last chapter :)

Well, not exactly the last chapter, but the last chapter with useful stuff in it. There are two chapters left though :)

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