2 weeks later - July 2020

I've been trying to reach Jayden all morning and up until now in the afternoon. She hasn't answered any of my calls or texts, and I'm really nervous. The texts aren't even delivering. Tonight is an important game for the Sparks, it's game 6 of the playoffs, and the series is currently at 3-2, Sparks down one game. If the opposing team wins tonight, which might I add is the Phoenix Mercury, they take home the championship trophy. If the Sparks win tonight, the series is tied 3-3 and they have a second chance. I know she's probably busy, or really locked in for tonight meaning she might not be using her phone but it's strange of her not to answer. There are a million thoughts going through my head as to what is going on, but I resort to reaching out to some of our friends to try and gain some peace of mind.

I dial the first person I think to call. The phone rings a couple times until there is a pick up on the other line.

"Hello? Hailee? Is everything okay?"

"Um, hi Lizzie sorry to bother you but when was the last time you've heard from Jayden?"

"We texted last night, why?" She asks.

"I just haven't heard from her all morning and I'm starting to get worried."

"Shoot. I'll give my shot at trying too, I'll keep you posted."

"Okay, um, thanks Lizzie." I say before hanging up.

I scroll through my contacts to find the next person that might give me a clue as to what is going on.

"Hey Hailee how are you?" Billie answers.

"Hi, I'm okay I'm just freaking out a little. Um, have you heard from Jayden recently?"

"Is everything okay?"

"I, I don't know, I'm trying to figure it out."

"Well, last time we talked was probably a few days ago, I'm sorry." Billie replies, and I curse under my breath.

"Oh okay, thanks."

I'm slowly running out of options for people to contact, and in this moment I'm wishing I had the phone numbers of her teammates right now. I take matters into my own hands and I begin to walk towards my car. Worst of all, it's pouring rain. Not even bothering to get an umbrella, I quickly sprint to the drivers side door. I fasten my seatbelt and reverse out of the driveway as fast as I can.

While I'm driving to her house, I'm looking around hoping for the slight chance that I just magically see her walking down the street. Through my cars handsfree feature, I call her a couple more times during the drive. As I inch closer to her street, my heart clenches in its chest, as if it were bracing me for what was about to come.

I let out a sigh of relief when I see her car parked in front of her home. I get out of my own car, my clothes soaked at this point. I approach the front door, raising my hand to knock until I notice the door slightly opened. This strikes me as odd, since she's the type of person to check if she's locked the front door a thousand times before leaving or entering. What this tells me is that what ever it is that happened was so important or damaging that she forgot to close the door all the way.

I enter the house slowly, feeling a strange emotion just walking into her home without notice.

"Jay?" I call out, but with no answer.

I peer through the house, trying to spot any sort of life, or clue that could tell me everything okay, but nothing seems out of place. As I walk up the stairs, each step brings my anxiety up further. I don't even bother to check the other rooms, something inside me telling me she's in her own bedroom. I open the door to her room carefully, heart falling to my stomach once more when I find her room empty.

My eye catches her phone on the bed, and I tap it lightly to see the front page of her phone. With both my hands on the phone now, I take it off airplane mode allowing me to now scroll through all the missed notifications, consisting of missed calls and texts from me, Lizzie, her teammates and even some from her coach. I place her phone back where it was, and I turn to walk towards the bathroom.

Slowly inching my hand towards the knob, I turn it a few times only to find out its locked. I press my ear to the door, trying to see if I can hear anything in there. If the door is locked, that means she has to be inside.

"Jay?" I shout from the other side. "It's me, are you okay in there?" I call out, but no answer, causing my eyes to gloss over with tears and my throat ignited with that burning feeling you get when you cry.

"Open the door Jay, please." I exclaim, tears now running down my face.

"Can you please answer me?" I shout at the door, holding my ear to it waiting for a response. "Jay?" I get on my knees, trying to peer under the gap between the wood floor and the bottom of the door.

By now, I'm butting the door with my shoulder, trying to find any way to open it. I take a few steps away from the door, both my hands on my head in a panic. But my measures come to a close when I hear the sound of the locking mechanism move. I take a step back when I hear the door unlock fully. My hand jolts to the door knob.

I open the door frantically, and my eyes are brought to the floor where Jayden is sitting against the wall, her knees to her chest with her arms wrapped around them. She looks up at me, and her eyes are bloodshot, her eye bags puffy and purple. I immediately get down to her level, wrapping my arms around her and burying my head into her shoulder. I feel her breaking out of her frozen state to move one arm around my back. My tears are like an ever flowing waterfall at this point.

"Shh.." Jayden whispers to try and calm me, even though I should be the one doing it. I just can't help but fall apart seeing her in that state.

"I- I thought you were dead." I say between sobs. "You can never die." I tell her, sobbing frantically.

"I wont." She replies lightly.

"Like ever." I tell her while crying.

"Well, I think I have to at some point." She tells me, a smile on her face trying to mask the state she was in before I opened the door.

"Just do it after me." I tell her, now looking into her eyes, the both of us crying together. I hide my face in her shoulder once more, her hands rubbing my back.

"What happened." I ask in a whisper.

"It's okay, I'm okay." She tells me, and I can see right through it. I detach from her to look at her face.

"No you're not, you were sitting on the bathroom floor, you were crying." I tell her and she stays silent.

"I called you what felt like a million times." I say. "I was so... scared."

"I'm sorry." Is all she says. "I'm just really nervous about the game tonight, and there's been a lot going on and-"

"Don't. Lie." I demand between my choked up tears. When she hears me say this, she turns her head to the side, eyes beginning to gloss up once more.

"Um." She begins, her voice choking back up again.

"You can tell me." I reassure her.

"It's... my mom." She finally lets out, and my heart clenches.

"What? Is she okay?"

"Well, um, I got the call last night while I was getting out of the shower and um, they told me has cancer. Lung cancer."

"Oh my gosh Jay." I tell her sympathetically. "But she's so strong she can beat it, right?"

"That's what I thought too but um, I found out that she never actually quit."

"Quit?" I ask, confused.

"Quit smoking. She just told me she quit when I was younger to make me feel better and it turns out it was all a lie. So I'm not surprised this is what it led to." She tells me and so many different emotions arise in me.

"I'm so sorry." I tell her, not knowing what else to say. My head turns to look around the room and I notice her towel on the floor next to her, the shower curtain still open.

"Have you been in here all night?"

"Yeah.." She whispers. "I threw my phone on the bed and came back in here, I kind of just froze the second I sat here.

"Come on let's get up, you have to eat."

"I'm not that hungry." She tells me.

"My love you've been in here for hours, let me bring you something so you don't even have to get up." I offer, and she nods slowly.

I head downstairs, exhaling loudly, making my way to her kitchen. I search her fridge trying to find something that would be easy for her to eat. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot the fruit basket filled with different types of fruit, so I opt to make a small bowl of cut up fruits. Once I'm done preparing it, I grab a glass of water as well, carefully bringing it up the stairs and to the bathroom.

I place the bowl and glass on her night stand, opening the door to the bathroom.

"Come sit on the bed with me, it's okay." I suggest, reaching my arm out for her to grab. She motions between my eyes and hands, and takes it after a few moments. With our hands now connected, I walk with her to the bed. She takes the bowl of fruit and takes some sips of water. We sit together in silence for a little while.

"You have to leave to the game soon." I mention after checking the time.

"I know." She replies. "I really don't want to even go."

Her response slightly shocks me, as it's the first time I'm hearing her mention anything about not wanting to play basketball or perform for the fans. Especially tonight since it's such an important game.

"They need you, Jay." I tell her lightly, her eyes looking straight forward at the floor.

"I don't really have much of a choice, this isn't the type of job where you can call out of work." She jokes.

"Play for her tonight Jay, your mom."

"I always do. I guess tonight is different. She'll be watching from the hospital, I know she will." She tells me, bringing up the fact that her mom is currently in the hospital. Our conversation falls silent.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" I ask.

"For scaring you. I completely shut you out. I shut everyone out I just couldn't do it after hearing that. I always knew the day would come where I would get that call but I just didn't think it would have been last night.

"It's okay, we are here now, you don't have to apologize."

"Thanks." She whispers as we now face each other. I place both my hands on her face, rubbing the remaining tears away with my thumbs. I bring her head down slightly, placing a kiss on her forehead.

---

I'm seated on the bench with the other four starting players, waiting for the announcer to call out the starting five lineup. I'm usually never this nervous for games, but if we lose tonight, we go home. And after such an emotional day, I don't even know if I have what it takes to fully play at my best. I look behind me quickly, spotting Hailee in the crowd a few rows behind the Sparks bench. I give her a small wave, and she blows me a kiss. I pretend to catch it, placing it on my chest. Having Hailee at the game tonight means the world.

"And lastly, at point guard, number three! Jayden Carter!" The announcer calls out, and I stand up from my seat, clapping up my teammates on the way to my position on the court. I dust off my shoes as per usual, except tonight I wrote my Mom's name on the sides of my shoes as a small reminder that she's with me tonight on the court.

Tip off begins, and the Mercury win the jump ball, so my team and I fall back to play defense. I prepare myself in defense position, awaiting Maya to bring the ball down. After a few bounces, we are face to face.

"You're going home tonight Carter." She spits, and I chose not to respond.

The Mercury pass the ball around a few times, leading to the first shot of the game. The ball bounces off the rim and Liz grabs the rebound, passing it to me to bring the ball down the court. When I reach Maya at the top of the key, I make some quick shifty moves, bouncing the ball between my legs and behind my back to try and make space from her. I pass it out to the right wing, and I run opposite the ball all the way to the left corner, leaving me open. Rae spots me, and throws and overhead pass to reach me in the corner. I take the open shot and it goes in, thankfully. The crowd goes wild, giving us the energy we need to play as hard as we can. Since I just scored, I tap my hand to my chest, doing the symbol Hailee and I have for when I score.

The game remains close throughout the whole first half, the score being 46-42 at the end of the first two quarters with us losing by four. I walk with my team back to the locker rooms, a towel around my neck. It's usually at this time where I would make a small speech to the team, going over game plan moving into the last half, but tonight I don't have the energy to.

The team goes back out to the court to put up some shots before the buzzer runs out, but I decide to stay behind.

"Everything okay Carter?" Liz asks.

"Yeah I'm good. Just gonna chill here for a little." I reply.

"Oh, okay." Liz says skeptically, not wanting to pry.

After she leaves, I'm left alone in the locker room with my thoughts. As I'm sat in my designated chair in front of my locker, I zone out, staring at the small closet space in front of me. A thousand thoughts about my Mom goes through my head, the what if's running through my mind. The loud arena buzzer brings me out of my almost trance, signaling that it's time to begin the last half of play.

I get back to the bench on our side of the court, taking off my warmup shirt and placing it on my chair. One of the on-court crew members hands me a sip of water and I thank them. Coach decided to bench me for a while at the start of the third, as he could tell I needed a break. I watch as my team makes plays, putting up shots and trying to move the ball around as much as possible, but our offense is lacking.

"Carter get in there." Coach calls out from the slide lines, and I get up swiftly, taking a knee by the referees table. The announcer calls my name, alerting the crowd that I'm coming back in and I receive many loud cheers. The Mercury coach notices I was put back in, so he decides to put Maya back in to match us up together, earning an eye roll from me.

The clock starts again, only 5 minutes left in the third. I need to use these 5 minutes as best I can in order to try and build a lead. I call out different plays to help break the Mercury's defense, allowing for my teammates to get open. I make a few assists and a few points myself, creating a lead for us. The score is now 57-51 by the end of the third.

Coach sits me out again at the beginning of the fourth, so I can use any energy that I have left to give it my all in the final minutes of the game, which are the most important ones. I get subbed back in about halfway through the fourth quarter, Sparks only up by 3 points now. Both teams have their original starting five back out on the court, so I'm matched with Maya again.

The Mercury has the ball, and as I watch Maya bring it down the court, I really stiffen up my defensive position. Maya calls an isolation, meaning that she's going to try and score herself against me: a one on one situation. I prepare for this by keeping my hands by her hip, looking for any chance to steal the ball. Instead, she blows right past me on her way to the basket, knocking me down in the process, my head hitting the floor. I hear the referee blow his whistle, calling an offensive foul. I quickly get up off the floor, stomping over to Maya.

"What the fuck dude?" I ask, our faces inches apart.

"Just trying to score, that's all." She responds sarcastically.

"Yeah okay, fuck you." I spit back as my teammates try and separate us before anything else happens.

There are only a couple minutes left in the fourth, the game tied 68-68. Sparks have the ball, and I'm trying to hold it as much as possible before passing it in order to waste time. However, the ball gets stolen from us, the Mercury making an easy two points on the other end. Coach calls a time out with a minute and thirty seconds left.

"Come on ladies, you can't let them get easy looks like that." He begins, continuing to try and hype us up for these last few minutes of the game, reminding us of the stakes.

The same five of us head out on the court, and I bring it down once again. I pass it around until someone gets open. The clock is only in seconds now, counting down from 60. A shot goes up, but we miss, the Mercury taking the ball again. If they score here, it's going to be really hard to win.

Fortunately, they miss, and we get the ball back. We are down by two points, so a three pointer would seal the game. I look up at the clock, and theres less than 30 seconds left. I dribble around, trying to waste time. The clock is counting from 10 now, so I have 10 seconds to make a choice. I pass the ball to my left, and I head to the corner I know all too well. I raise my hand to signal that I'm open, and in seconds the ball is in my hands. As the clock counts down from 5, I take the shot. Every single person in the arena has their eyes on the ball as it travels towards the hoop.

Right when the buzzer ends, the ball goes in, giving us a win. Everyone from the bench gets up and runs onto the court, running towards me cheering. The crowd is screaming and cheering as loud as ever. All my teammates rush up to me, pushing me and hugging me.

"Jayden Carter! What a shot!" The announcer screams.

I walk back to the bench with everyone behind me, Coach pulling me in for a hug. I look up at the Jumbotron to see the final score, 72-71. I can't help but begin to tear up as I did what I came here to do tonight, especially after everything with my Mom.

I take care of doing my usual post-game activities, like answering interview questions and posing for photos. I greet a few fans, signing a couple things and interacting with them. But before I go into the tunnel, I jump the glass barrier and head up the stairs of the bleachers.

I reach Hailee's row, and I run up to her, engulfing her in a hug so tight she lifts up the ground.

"I did it." I tell her in her ear.

"You did, and I'm so proud of you." She tells me, and I pull back from our hug to place a kiss on her lips.

3455 words

Suspense—is Hostiler than Death—

Death—tho'soever Broad,

Is Just Death, and cannot increase—

Suspense—does not conclude—

But perishes—to live anew—

But just anew to die—

Annihilation—plated fresh

With Immortality—

- Emily Dickinson