Please read this chapter with care.

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M A R I N A

She made her way out of her Biochemistry class with Amira, their voices louder than ever. The halls were filled with students here and there as they pushed through them to get their way out.

"How was India?" Marina voiced her question while dodging an accidental shove from a random student.

"Don't even ask, I had to live up on vegetables only for the whole week!" She flailed her arms in the air as Marina chuckled.

They were making their way to the library as Amira never understood a thing in Biochemistry but attended anyway. Now her best friend had to re-explain everything. It wasn't new to her as this had been going on for the past four years

"How was yours?" She returned the question and Marina shrugged.

"It wasn't that bad", she looked down then looked up again, "I had my cousins force me to dance and some aunties asking me for their sons' rishtas so yeah.."

"What?! " She started laughing and Marina huffed in playful annoyance.

"Oh my God, shut up." She groaned and punched her shoulder lightly which caused her to laugh even harder, causing some students to give her weird looks and Marina returning them with apologetic ones.

"Amira you can do this all by yourself." Marina pointed at her Biochemistry books.

"No no no I'm sorry please don't leave me like this I need you to pass this course please.." She started rambling and Marina smirked, knowing her best friend all too well.

"Fine", she gave a smug grin and stopped outside the library door, " and by the way you're going to Tesco's today." She pointed her index finger at Amira.

"What?! No! " Amira raised her voice in disbelief, "I went there last time!"

"But that was two months ago!"

"So?!"

"Ugh, fine!" Marina groaned.

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She slammed her car door shut, her hands holding two heavy bags as she made her way to the dorm rooms. She was passing by the corner of the building and saw a shadow in the nightlight.

She walked closer, the tree preventing the street lights to illuminate the person. She took a few more cautious steps. A car flashed by and it's headlights made her see the person clearly and gasped.

It was Shahroz.

But what made her gasp wasn't who the person was, it was rather the shiny silver thing they were holding in their hand.

A blade.

Above his wrist.

She dropped her bags and zoomed towards him and threw the blade from his hands on the ground, it made a small cut on her finger but she couldn't care less. She grabbed his shoulders and shook him hard.

"What do you think you're doing?!" She shouted at him as she shook him repeatedly, his body not even caring to respond.

"What I should've done long time ago." He said without any emotion and looked up at her, his eyes telling the whole story instead.

"Allah gave you a second chance to live and you're going to throw it away like this?!" She pointed at his blade on the ground then looked up at him, "Some people are breathing their last at the moment, and you're over here killing yourself?!"

Shahroz's jaw ticked. She was definitely getting on his nerves now. He had wanted to do this for so long and now when things were finally about to go his way, something had to stop him as always.

He was blazing with a rage he never knew he could feel for her.

"Why do you keep saving me?!" He screamed in her ears as he pushed her to the fence nearby, gripping her neck tightly until her cheeks reddened due to the restriction of blood flow through her face.

The autumn wind bit her cheeks, letting the untucked part of her hijab flow with the rhythm of the wind. The girl was trembling uncontrollably to say the least. He was standing too close. The only word being chanted in her head was 'haram'.

To loosen his grip somehow, she placed both her small hands on his wrists in attempt to push him away even the slightest, but to her dismay, it was of no use.

"B-b-because-"

"Because what?!"

"Shahroz please d-"

"BECAUSE WHAT?!"

"BECAUSE I GODDAMN CARE ABOUT YOU!"

His hand immediately loosened the grip on her neck and he removed it, his eyes looking vulnerable. She started coughing uncontrollably as he looked away.

There was silence for a while until Marina decided to break it.

"I-I'm sorry", she looked up at him with pain, "I guess all of this was just a mistake.."

He could've sworn he heard a soft sob when she turned around and started walking away.

'Walking away? ' He thought, 'is she going to leave me like how everyone else did? '

He shouted a 'no' before running up to her and grabbing her wrist, tears made their way to his eyes as he looked down and cried.

"Maria, please don't leave me", her eyes widened at his current state when she turned around, "please."

She had never seen him with tears before and she had the urge to wipe them but stopped.

"I need you." He whispered softly and looked into her eyes this time, his glossy ones left with more tears to come.

Her eyes widened further. She was confused with what's happening. One minute he was about to kill himself due to pain and in the next he was choking her due to rage.

"Shahroz what ar-" He didn't even let her complete her sentence as he hugged her with a speed even he was surprised he had left.

She stiffened under his hold but slowly wrapped her hands around his back anyways. He sobbed in her shoulders, her shirt and hijab getting wet with his tears as he cried but she couldn't care less at the moment.

The 'haram' was getting louder in her head but she pushed it away once she realised she's helping someone. She's being there for him and she pleaded her Lord to forgive her for the time-being.

"I-I have n-no one, Maria", he shook under her hold, "no one.."

She removed one hand from around his back and brought it to his hair and stroked it soothingly, causing him to sigh on her shoulders. Her fingers tugged on his thick strands as she rubbed his back with her other hand to calm him down.

"You have me." She whispered, "You can talk to me about anything." She closed her eyes. She knew she had to deal with him carefully now. He was in a state that could crack easily.

"I-I thought you were gonna l-leave me." He looked up from her shoulder and her hands made their way to his face as she wiped the incoming tears with her thumbs, her fingers leaving hot trails down his cheeks.

"I wasn't gonna leave you", she smiled softly, "I was going to observe you from afar and give you some time."

His heart swelled with a feeling he couldn't pinpoint, but he was sure he got the same feeling when he smoked weed.

He placed his forehead on her shoulder, his cries subsiding as she stroked his hair and back again. There was a silence which calmed both of their hearts. He couldn't help but be thankful that he didn't kill himself, or he would've never felt the rush of emotions he was feeling in her arms at the moment.

She decided it was the right time to ask what happened.

She was going to start from the very beginning.

She asked him how and why he ended up behind the university dorms with a blade in his hands. She asked him the type of relationship he had with Shaheer - though she had already seen a glimpse of it. She briefly asked him about his relationship with his parents. She asked him about whether anyone other than Shaheer hurt him at university. She asked him how he usually feels about himself.

"A failure." He had answered for her last question and she gave him a look, indicating him to elaborate.

"My father and the kids at uni called me that, and I don't think what they said was wrong.." He trailed off.

She looked up at the sky and sighed. They both were now seated on the walls of the boundary, the moonlight shining in them at the lowest of intensities, but it was enough for them to get a clear look at each other.

She turned towards him, a small smile gracing her face, "Even if you've failed a year, I don't think your dad should say that", she looked up at him but he was already staring, "You deserve the whole world Shahroz. You deserve everything that's good."

He nodded and she knew what she had to do. She listened and understood his problem. She had asked about everything, from the night of the accident till now, and realised that he was just an innocent lost boy left out in the wrong company.

She knew exactly what to do to help him.

"If you want", she started, looked up at him expectantly, "I can tutor you and help improve your grades."

He thought for a moment then smiled and nodded, gladly exchanging numbers. They had planned to do it in the library based on when they're both free.

He was glad that he had someone to talk to about his feelings. He was glad he finally let it all out. He never had anyone to talk to for the past twenty-three years and he was glad he did now. He was like a balloon before, about to burst. But now, he was glad he let the air flow out of him with ease.

Little did he know, the tutoring sessions weren't going to be only about studies.

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