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Tear-stained cheeks and smudged out words

Please, don't give him power,

Don't wonder how much he's thought of you in the last hour

Things will weigh you down

It'll get so fucking heavy

Others don't dictate who you are

Remember that when you're alone at the bar

Touches are just touches

Words, just words

Don't let them define you

Don't let him control you

Trust me because I see myself in you

I know you can see it too

You're perfect just the way you are

If he wants to have any say in your life

Make him prove that he's worth it

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I tap my fingers on my notebook as I try to focus on this class, but it's actually pretty difficult. Even though this is one of the classes I transferred into, I have the highest GPA. No one would guess I was in a different class and section prior to the major change.

The lecture bores me, so I look at my binder and smile at the cover. Inside, I have a collage of pictures Ethan created for me. There is a family picture of us and Momo and a few drawings of us two in whatever fashion the brunet imagined us in. The thought of skipping is strong, but I need to be a good influence on Ethan and keep him responsible for his grades. I can't jeopardize all the good progress he's made. He's going to be an archeologist and to do that, he needs to pay attention.

Maybe I should practice what I preach, but I can't. Lectures are boring. So I examine the lecture hall until my eyes land on a familiar curly-headed blond with innocent brown eyes. Toby Love, I believe. He looks conflicted and dejected, trying to focus, but there is turmoil brewing behind his coffee eyes. A few tears fall down his cheeks without him paying them much attention, only noticing once he realizes they landed on his notebook.

Once he packs up, I go to him. "Toby, are you okay?"

He looks up at me with his doe eyes, looking shocked that I would ever talk to him. The blond is adorable. I hate to see him upset.

Maybe I can make a friend on my own, without Ethan.

"Um... no, I'm not okay," He whispers.

The blond has always been quiet, stuttering whenever called on. He seems to like to lay low and try and get his work done, but he's always looked a bit lost, so I've taken notes in this class before just to let him borrow. He doesn't know this of course. The poor guy would probably feel ashamed and bad to think he could be putting any extra work on me, but I don't mind it.

I frown and wait for him to finish packing up before following him outside and sitting on a bench. "What's wrong, Toby? You've always been so happy and have cheered me up a few times when I was feeling low, so I think it's time to return the favor."

"I've made you happy?"

"Definitely." I smile and squeeze his hand.

"My friend... I came out to them and they... didn't react well. It's just unfair. I wasn't asking him to fuck me or date me. I was just trying to be friends."

I play with his hair in an attempt to calm him. "Sometimes it's harder than others. We can deal with it sometimes, but others... the hate is overwhelming and it can come from where we really don't want it. People we want to accept us sometimes don't and then we feel disappointed in ourselves for even letting them in in the first place. However, it's not like that, Toby. You're a good person. I'd totally be your friend."

"My friend? You would want to?"

"I'm here, aren't I?"

He tackles me in a hug, my shirt wettening. "You're so nice and good with words."

I hug him back and hum gently. "It's okay, Toby. You're okay."

"I'm okay..." He repeats, most likely trying to convince himself. "Charlie, have you ever... gotten someone to look past the gay?"

"I have."

"How? Even if they were homophobic?"

"I'm friends with Carmen O'Malley. I love her," I respond, smiling.

A gasp leaves his mouth. "O'Malley? She's not homophobic anymore?"

"Nope," I respond, popping the 'p.' "She's a great friend. I wouldn't trade her for anything and I wouldn't change anything about our past because without it, we wouldn't be where we are today. Sometimes we even do each other's makeup. It's really nice."

"That's amazing. You're amazing. How do you do it?"

"Just be yourself and don't let their hate overcome your love. Even when you have to be stern, never stoop down to their level and try to work with them and don't just attack them for their beliefs and call them wrong. Be ready to talk things out. Just coming at the other's beliefs will do nothing to change people and will instead just push them further away. If you really want to be friends with this guy, you need to be prepared to be patient with him and to let him go if you ever realize that he won't see it from your perspective."

Wiping his eyes, he nods. "Thank you. I might just do that."

I look up to see a familiar brunet before looking at the blond again. "My boyfriend is on his way. Would you like to hang out with us?"

"With you? And your boyfriend? Who's he?"

"Hey, baby, who's this?" Ethan asks, wrapping his arm around me.

"This is Toby. He's my new friend and he's sad because his friend was being homophobic," I explain. "So he could use some company."

"Don't let them get to you. They ain't worth your tears." He wipes under Toby's eye with his thumb. "I'm Ethan."

"Hi." He blushes. "I've seen you around before. I didn't know you were gay."

"I didn't either until I met him." Ethan chuckles and kisses my cheek.

I giggle, loving the attention. "Do you want to come over?"

"Sure." The blond lights up. "Is there a bus stop nearby?"

"Should be." Ethan says.

"Ethan, we should give him a ride!" I scold. "He doesn't have a car."

"Okay."

"Thank you." He grins and hugs both of us. "I'm glad I met you."

"Yeah, you seem sweet." Ethan pulls out his keys and leads us to the car.

"We can watch movies and eat brownies." I bounce excitedly and grab Toby's hand.

"Charlie's brownies are to die for." Ethan says.

"I can't wait." He climbs into the car and buckles up as I sit next to Ethan and hold his hand.

"You two are cute together." Toby says with a wistful expression.

"Thanks." Ethan smiles and gives me his signature puppy love face.

I grin. "I'm totally going to marry him."

"Marry? It's not legal here."

"Then we'll go somewhere else." I smirk. "But it's happening."

"Woah," Toby whispers.

Ethan nods in agreement.

"I hope I can do that someday." The blond giggles cutely.

"You can. I promise you, you'll find someone." Ethan reassures him.

"Thank you." He smiles, cheeks full and begging to be squished.

I hope he will want to stick with us so I can continue to grow my friend group. Having the friends I do is nice, but it feels like I'd be a hermit without Ethan. I'm too dependent. Having someone I can proudly say I met first makes my heart bloom. Maybe we could hang out whenever Ethan has long work days.

♥︎ • ♦︎ • ♣︎ • ♠︎

"Woah, this place is so nice. How do you live here? My place is so..." He stops, blushing.

I bite my lip, unsure how to answer.

"Charlie works hard, and it helps that he's a King." Ethan winks at me. "You should've seen my place before, Toby. I bet yours is great."

"It's a small one bedroom place. I like that it's affordable and doesn't reek or anything. The location kind of sucks considering I don't have a car though." He sighs.

I frown. "Maybe you can save up?"

He purses his lips. "This summer, I'll work more so I can get a car. Maybe something cute and small like a Mini Cooper."

"Oh my gosh, with a drop top! You'd be so cute!" I gush.

Ethan chuckles and lounges in his favorite chair. "You would. You don't ride by chance, do you?"

Toby's eyes widen. "Do you?"

"Did." Ethan gives a lopsided smirk, worried eyes sliding over to check on me. "I'm taking a break though so if you did I'd lend it. Doubt you do though."

"I'm really clumsy. I'd crash. I crashed my bike into a tree once and passed out." He groans.

His words bring me worry as I imagine both him and Ethan injured. "No motorcycle for you then."

"Maybe a mop-ed." He giggles.

Ethan leans over and fake whispers. "I'll take you out on my bike sometime."

The blond beams. "Really? That sounds so fun!" He looks at me. "Have you been on?"

"Sadly, no." I chuckle. "I ride him instead."

Ethan chuckles. "Sly dog."

Toby blushes brightly. "I keep forgetting you two are gay."

"Really?" Ethan hums. "Maybe I still have some of my old charms and vibes."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I scowl playfully at the brunet.

Toby plays with his fingers. "I just never thought I'd get to talk to other gays."

"Birds of a feather flock together or whatever." Ethan says. "You're really sweet. No idea how we're the first gays to scoop you up."

"I mean, I've hooked up with guys. I just don't have very many friendly encounters on campus."

Ethan sits up. "Well that changes now."

"We can be friends!" I hug him tightly.

He laughs happily, cuddling into me. "This is exciting. I don't have many friends... Just the one. You two are gay though, so you're okay that I am." He beams.

"Not just okay with it, we celebrate it!" Ethan calls and scoops him right up and spins him around like a kid.

Toby squeals. "Oh my gosh!"

My boyfriend puts him down and grins at me. "Charlie was the one who made me feel comfortable enough to explore and be who I am and I'd love to provide that same comfort to you now, Toby."

He looks at us with teary eyes. "I... Really? I've been trying to love myself, but recently, it's been feeling hard. And it's like I need other's approval. But in..."

I understand what he means and I frown. "It's nice to feel pretty and sexy, but it does feel good to feel like your personality and everything else have value too."

Ethan sits back down. "Is that other friend in your life not accepting, Toby?"

"N-No." He chokes on the word and looks down.

Ethan moves to the couch and pulls us down to sit too. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I..." He looks conflicted. "It's really complicated..."

Ethan nods. "I'm sorry you're facing that. I had a friend once who was...really, really homophobic, like dangerously so, and it was so hard to see him and have all of my feeling for him and my memories of good times all overshadowed by this cloud in the background, his hatred pouring down on my best memories of him and trying to ruin them. I loved him and I hated him at the same time and I tried to separate who he was from who I found out he was but I just couldn't and I had to let him go. I really hope that doesn't happen to you, Toby. I hope your friend can learn."

"Me too. Things felt really nice." He looks at his hands. "I know it's to be expected in the south, but it's not like I'm going after him. Why should it matter? I'm not just gay; I'm Toby."

"Absolutely. You have a whole personality to offer." Ethan ruffles Toby's hair. "If he's ever mean to you, give me his address and I'll go kick his ass."

My jaw drops. "Don't get yourself arrested, Ethan Liam Dechart."

Ethan peeks at me. "I'll be discreet, baby."

"Your boyfriend is hot, respectfully," Toby whispers to me.

"I know, right?" I respond.

We giggle.

Ethan just narrows his eyes at us.

"What?" I bat my eyelashes at him.

He smirks. "You're such a gossip slut."

"If I wasn't a slut, you wouldn't be here right now." I raise my eyebrows suggestively.

"I guess that's true." He agrees, moving to sit next to me, holding my gaze.

My eyes darken momentarily before I smile cutely, doing a complete one-eighty on him. "Brownies, anyone?"

Ethan whines and drops his face into the couch cushion.

"What's his problem?" Toby asks.

"He's a big baby bottom," I shrug off, standing and stretching. "Care to help me in the kitchen, Sunflower?"

The blond blushes due to the nickname. "Yes, I'll help!"

Ethan revives himself. "How dare you slander my name in front of our new friend." He huffs, though I know he's mostly joking.

Toby and I make eye contact before facing Ethan, asking in unison:

"Is there anything wrong with being a bitch bottom, Ethan?"

Ethan groans loudly, flopping back down. "No."

"Great!" I ruffle his hair and drag my new friend to the kitchen.

"I'm excited. I know how to cook a few things, but I want to get better."

"It helps to be a good cook." I agree, leaning against the counter. "Why isn't my diligent boyfriend helping in the kitchen?"

"I was gonna come." Said boyfriend chuckles and joins us, grabbing ingredients he has memorized by now.

Smiling, I kiss him. "Thanks, Superstar."

Toby gushes. "Ah, you're so cute. I want a coupley set of nicknames and domestic life."

"You just wait, Toby." Ethan tells him, holding me from behind in an almost hug. "You'll find the right man one day."

He grins. "Maybe we could go on double dates!"

"I'd love that. Much less awkward than ones with Carmen, right babe?" Ethan kisses my cheek.

"Or our brothers." I chuckle.

"Your brothers are gay too?!"

"And together." I add.

"Woah."

Ethan chuckles. "It's pretty wild. Our families are just meant to be. Maybe my mom can join your parents' marriage." He jokes.

"That'd make you siblings." Toby gags.

"I mean.... not by blood." Ethan scratches his head, not having thought his joke through. "Once we're married Ry and Xan will be brothers in law anyway, there's no way around that."

"He'd rather fuck my dad," I explain.

Toby looks like he's going to faint.

"Charlie! You're scaring the poor kid!" I scold him, blushing. "I would not. Don't worry, Toby, we're not freaks."

"It's obvious that I'm not. It's you that's worrisome," I deadpan.

Ethan gapes at me like a fish.

I wash my hands and start on the brownies.

"Ethan is a little freaky, but so is everyone, I guess." Toby chuckles. "I'm sure he'd rather have you though since you're his age."

"Sometimes I don't know if he likes them older or younger." I pretend to ponder.

"Baby, I love you." Ethan coos, slathering me in affection. "I don't fall for ages, I fell for your amazing personality. I've never fantasized about anyone else, why must you torture meeee."

"Because it's fun to embarrass you." I start to direct Toby in how to help and he does so gladly.

Ethan blushes. "I'll find a way to get you back one day. There must be something that'll embarrass you." He smirks and kisses my cheek before removing himself to help.

"Oh, baby, I'm shameless." I smirk.

Baking with my boyfriend and friend is nice. Usually, it's just Ethan and me, but it's a nice change to bring someone else into the mix, literally. Toby seems like he needed this too, the blond laughing happily to any joke we make, feeling light. He's precious. I hope to keep him around for a long time.

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