《Sh*t My Parents Say》060 || Mom and Dad
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Mom was upset with Little Sister and I because we often swore (accidentally) in the house. Things like sh*t and d*mn.
Little Sister said, "Sorry, Mom. You live with sailors."
Mom said, "Well while you're on the port side, no swearing."
I quickly intervened, "Does that mean we can swear on the starboard side?" I started laughing as I had just dad-joked, then I slowly stopped because no one else was laughing.
"See," Mom explained, "this is why it's called Sh*t My Parents Say and not Sh*t KC Says, because you're not funny and you suck."
"Oh! Burn!!" Dad dragged out the vowel and Little Sister laughed at me.
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