《Sh*t My Parents Say》125 》Mom
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Mom and I saw a commercial where they were selling shoes for $39.95, and they were announcing like it was a good deal.
"Forty bucks is still a lot of money for shoes," I said. "Shoes should be ten dollars. Five dollars a shoe." Then I came up with a shitty pun, saying, "Five dollar foot long. Ha! I'm funny."
"But your foot is not 12 inches," Mom contradicted me.
"But it is the length of a foot, therefore it is a foot long. Five dollar foot long. Ha! I'm funny."
"Yeah, not really."
...I thought I was pretty punny.
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