《Individuals Toxic Behaviors》-Chapter 10 part 2--Bad dreams. Innocent minds-
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All things truly wicked, start from innocence.
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-Chapter 10 part 2-- Bad dreams innocent minds-
It has been three days since I've been locked up in this cold, dark basement. My mother somehow noticed that I was planning to run away in the middle of the night when they were both asleep or passed out.
I don't know—how she realized but she did, and the aftermath that followed after that wasn't pretty to hear or to watch.
My butt and back were so numb, slumped in this odd position on the hard, cold concrete floor... with my back leaning on the hard wall and my knees raised to my chest, as I stared at the blank gray wall for hours on end.
My body was already used to this kind of harsh treatment, being in here for hours with no food or water.
But that didn't faze me at all. What fazed me was that this wasn't going to be the last time... and that this never-ending cycle would continue until they finally got tired of me and buried my body down here.
Let's be honest here. I could already imagine that many are going through the same situation as me right now. Somewhere in the world.
I don't know if this simple fact alone should comfort me or sadden me more than it should.
Some days, I ponder about… why my dad left me with my terrible mother.
Did he hate me that much, too? Was I just an annoying kid?
Was this his way of punishing me for not listening to him?
Was I not behaving like a good girl, or did he just get bored of me like everyone else?
In school, people avoid me like a plague. The teachers that are supposed to comprehend me don't talk to me— and my classmates either.
I was invisible to them all. A wandering ghost among living people.
Couldn't they see something was completely off with me...? All they had to do was stare a little closer... to see the cracks in my broken spirit —And the silent pleads that shined through my dark eyes.
People in my situation would have told the teachers about home.
And I did that once. My teacher didn't believe me at all. Instead of her helping me as she should have, she ended up calling my mother instead.
I didn't go to school the following days because of how bruised up I was from the previous day.
An abrupt click from the door boomed throughout the small, dirty, dark basement.
My eyes immediately stared at the shadow that was standing right in front of the doorway. By the size and height of the dark silhouette, I knew it wasn't my mother.
Instead, it was that sick bastard that locked me up here.
What the hell does he want from me now?
I wasn't in the mood to pretend to care or listen... my eyes were too heavy and my brain was working with the few brain cells that it had left, still going strong without the others.
My eyes never strayed from the doorway; the tall, dark silhouette just remained there, simply facing me.
Is he watching me...? I can't tell.
Is this guy so out of it that he doesn't know what he's doing or is he trying to scare the shit out of me right now?
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Because if he is trying to do that, then he is achieving it.
The low, gruff voice breaks the silence. " Come up and don't make a single sound. " When I heard those words, my body shot up, and I instantly stood on my bare feet.
Taking slow but steady steps, I make it upstairs.
There was soft chattering coming from the living room; a mixture of voices conversing with each other filled the long, dim hallway.
My stepfather gestures at me with his left hand to quickly go to the living room.
This strong, odd feeling in the pit of my belly told me to not even dare follow his orders; something was completely off here.
I could almost taste the bitterness in the air.
For a while, I hesitated to even move from my spot. Too terrified that somehow I may have misinterpreted what he wanted from me.
What the hell are these demons planning on doing to me now?
I wouldn't even be surprised if they tried to sell me off like cattle.
He leaned against the gray wall as he lit up a cigar that was in between his thick fingers.
He eyed me as a small frown slowly appeared on his face. You could see it in his dark eyes that his patience with me was slowly evaporating into thin air, every time he inhaled a puff of air from his thin cigarette.
Eventually, I had to go with the flow—because if I didn't, he'd probably bruise me up again for disrespecting his orders.
My body was too dehydrated to have any energy to beg him to stop his brutal assault on my small body.
And honestly, I didn't want to get beaten half to death again.
Every small step I took towards the living room my fighting spirit slowly perished along with the faint sound of my footsteps.
The old floorboard squeaks beneath my bare feet as I enter the living room.
All three of them snapped their heads towards me. Their soft laughter and small voices creased when their eyes settled on me.
" Is this the young girl you were speaking of?
She looks too young for this type of job.
Don't you think, honey? "The young thin woman dressed in fine clothes says softly to her husband that is eyeing me, from head to toe.
The way he was staring at me with those green eyes wasn't making me feel comfortable in my own skin.
There was something sinister about these two nice-looking folks. And, I don't know... what it is, but something inside me screamed for me to sprint with all my might out of here and never ever dare look back.
What the hell do these folks want from me that they're looking at me like... I'm some piece of meat?
I slowly tilted my head to the right as my heavy eyes never wavered from them.
“How old is she?" The man in the dark suit asks my mother as he stares at me. My mother softly smiles and says, "She just turned 13 three days ago."
"What did she do wrong to look so bruised up like that?" The blonde-haired woman let out as she kept her dark blue eyes on me.
"She misbehaved. She has been a very disobedient child lately.
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But don't worry, she will behave today.
Right, Emma? "A warm smile grazes her pink lips as those words come out of her mouth. I nodded my head slowly as I eyed all three of them. A frown gradually grew on my face, simply not understanding my mother's change of behavior.
"How much?" The woman says, as she pulls her strong blue gaze away from me and places it back on my mother.
"It depends on how many hours you would like to play with my little girl.
This is her first time, so that's going to cost you a little bit more. " Everything my mother just said was making me feel extremely uneasy inside, and I don't know why.
She wasn't making any sense. And the more she talked, the more questions and concerns popped into my head.
I silently eyed my mother with confusion... What the hell is she talking about? My first time in what… Dying.
What do these folks need me for?
Both of them stared at me for a brief moment, but this time their intense gaze had this evil gleam inside them. My heart started thumping faster as my hands began to slightly tremble beside my sides.
Both of their dark gazes landed back on my mother. The well-dressed couple nods in approval.
My mother ordered me to go and take a warm bath, and then head directly down to her bedroom at the end of the hall, and patiently sit on her mattress when I finished.
It was quite bizarre, because she never really liked me going inside her bedroom or sitting on her soft bed. But today was totally different.
When I slowly went up the flight of stairs, I caught a glimpse of the young man taking out a lot of cash from his back pocket. And without hesitation, passing it all to my mother.
My mother smiled widely as she began to count it in front of them.
And as she ordered, I took a warm bath and waited quietly in her bedroom... sat on her soft mattress.
My hair was dripping wet as I patiently waited.
Something doesn't feel right. And I couldn't pinpoint what it was or why this tight feeling inside my chest was getting harder and harder to ignore.
My weary eyes widened with confusion when the old brown door from my mother's bedroom creaked open.
Both of the well-dressed guests stood there watching me as their bright eyes turned darker the more they stared at me.
They closed the door softly behind them when they stepped inside. Their porcelain masks began to slip off, as this evil, almost demonic smile took over their faces.
My heart leaped out of my chest at how they were gaping at me with those eyes filled with mischief and unexplainable evil.
" Take off your clothes; we're going to have a little good time." The man said with a sultry deep voice, as the woman behind him softly chuckled as she began to slip off her white tight dress that hugged her beautiful figure.
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My eyes fling open as my poor heart thumps loudly inside my tight chest.
Quick, shallow breaths left my lips as I gradually sat up, rapidly gazing around the darkroom. Tears began to flow down my warm cheeks as the memory of that day started to flow back into my head.
The only thing that was heard in the big, dark bedroom was my soft, quiet sobs.
My trembling hands cover my quivering lips, muffleing the soft trembling voice that's pouring out of my mouth. The feeling that was boiling up inside me was unexplainable. It was a mixture of everything. A vortex of anger, despair, and nausea swirled inside me, consuming me in its heat.
All I wanted to do was take a hot boiling bath until I could scrape the filth off my skin. Why did those specific memories come back to torment me again?
It would have been better if my mother had killed me off and buried me in the basement that day. Then make me live the life I have lived under her roof.
My mother never ceased to surprise me… In how she found new ways to damage me even more that scared me. If the devil and my mother had a competition, she would instantly win in the blink of an eye because she knows what nerve to hit to make me crumble down to my knees.
If I ever find those two bastards, I swear with all my heart that I'll kill them. I wouldn't hesitate to stab them on sight.
The door from my bedroom slowly opens, the soft yellow glow slowly starts consuming the darkness that was engulfing me in its harsh, cold arms, a few seconds ago.
I tried to fix myself up a little, softly patting off the tears that were still streaming down my warm cheeks. Trying very hard to control my breathing patterns and my wild heartbeat.
But it was quite difficult to just simply stop crying. When all my body and soul wanted to do was cry until it wasted away into nothingness.
Fuck, fuck, fuck... I can't let anyone see me like this... They will start pestering me with questions, and I won't be able to come up with a convincing lie either.
The tall shadow that was standing by the doorway was my father.
His little soft smile vanished when those concerned brown eyes landed on me.
He quickly made his way towards me, gently sitting on my bed beside me as he eyed me cautiously.
"What's wrong?
Does anything hurt?
Why is my little girl crying? "
Between hiccups and stuttering words, I get it out, "I—I had a very, very bad dream." My shaky hands instead of searching for some form of comfort from my father— it grabs into the warm comforter. My teary gaze fell down to my lap, as shame and disgust engulfed me in its sharp thorns.
Not being able to hold a steady gaze with my father without making sure he doesn't catch a peek inside my inked heart.
"You could always talk to me, my little girl."In his gentle voice, a hint of sadness resides, making my heart momentarily cease in speed.
My heavy, tear-filled eyes snapped back up to his troubled ones. He opened his arms wide, and I didn't hesitate to wrap my shaky arms around his midsection.
My father hugs me back as he begins to rub my back slowly, trying to calm me down. His tenderness soothes me as I lay my head on his left shoulder.
At least I'm away from those demons. At least I'm never going to see them again. I just hope they never cross paths with me because if they do so I don't know what I'll do.
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