《Individuals Toxic Behaviors》-Chapter 34 part 2--Making friends seems like a dream-
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Expectation is the root of all heartache.
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-Chapter 34, part 2--Making friends seems like a dream-
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Here I am just sitting in the back of Leo's vehicle, my forehead pressed against the cool glass. Observing everything passing by outside, in a blur.
The only thing that filled the silence inside the vehicle was the air conditioner and Kevin's smartphone keyboard that buzzed whenever he typed something.
Images from last night don't stop replaying in my head, like a broken DVD player. No matter how hard I try to focus on something else to ease my uneasy mind, it violently throws me back into that nightmare.
I sense a pair of eyes, burning holes into me.
From the corner of my eye, I could clearly see Leo peeking at me through the rearview mirror. He has been doing that whenever he gets a chance to at a red light.
Kevin, on the other hand, is typing away on his phone, ignoring everyone in the car. He has a weird habit of doing that whenever he seems to be pissed off at someone or bored out of his mind.
It was like he was in his own little world.
Sometimes, I just wonder if God likes to test me when I get too comfortable? Because somehow I always end up in uncomfortable situations that I can't easily escape from.
Because through all the things, I have been through. It seems to be getting worse with every passing day. It's like my life is a psychological horror film with an unfortunate ending waiting ahead.
My whole focus was back outside, again. Seeing how everything gradually passed by.
Eventually, we were at the school parking area.
Leo searched carefully for an empty parking space. When he finds a parking spot open, he takes it.
He kills off the engine and pulls out the key from the ignition. Then he put it in the pocket of his dark jeans, as he peeked at me through the rearview mirror, for the last time.
For some reason, I got a feeling that he wants to keep on questioning me about what I said this morning at breakfast.
So I quickly unbuckled my seat belt and opened the door, as I muttered a soft "Thank you" and got out of the vehicle as fast as my body could get out without making a fool out of myself.
The nerves in my abdomen tingled, as the uneasiness that dulled a few minutes ago, reappeared to consume my whole body again.
It's been a long time since I've been to school. High school signifies freedom and growth in discovering who you are as a person and finding your crowd and place in the world.
Checking out the large parking lot. Many of the students were in small groups, chatting and socializing.
Some throw me strange looks… like it's weird for me to come out of this red vehicle. To be honest, they were mostly girls that were sending me those odd looks... It was kinda typical.
Some of them were full-on glaring at me. What is their freaking problem? Do I look that unlikable?
While thankfully others just continue to chat with their friends, not giving a flying fuck about my existence and who's vehicle I came out of.
I like those types of people, they cause fewer problems and know how to mind their own business when it doesn't involve them.
I wonder… if I could make friends here. Sincere friends that would stick by me on my highest and lowest days.
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Yet, it seems like it is going to be impossible to make good friends because Everyone here looks so intimidating and problematic to even have a bond as deep as that one.
I know I shouldn't judge people by their appearance, but sometimes that's the only thing that gives me a heads-up to avoid walking red flags coming my way.
Or is it just me overthinking everything and stupidly believing that the whole world is out to get me on my weakest days? Maybe it is my paranoia making me overthink such stupid things.
Goodness, I feel so tired of always overanalyzing everything like a neat freak in a perfectly clean room.
The bright sun warmed up my exposed skin, as the cool warm breeze slowly kissed my cheeks.
What is wrong with the weather in this place?
It's like it has a hard time deciding what it wants to be. Yesterday, it was freezing cold outside like it was about to snow. And today it is sunny and warm like the first days of spring.
Two more doors shut behind me. Both guys had straight faces. Their eyes were void of any emotions, like two emotionless robots ready to take over the world and burn anyone that gets in their way in achieving that goal.
How do they have so many mood swings in a single day?
I am pretty sure they aren't bipolar.
Yeah, I did ask my father secretly if they had any mental health issues that he hasn't informed me about. All my father did was make me more confused than before, when he reflected a confused expression on his face as he proceeded to say ’No. None of the boys had any mental issues. They're both healthy. Why?"
Of course, I didn't have the courage to explain to him that he may be probably mistaken about them. That he needs to take them right back again just to make sure that the doctor who evaluated them did not make a mistake in diagnosing them wrongly.
Who knows at this point? I think they are bipolar but have never been rightly diagnosed with it, yet.
Two familiar girls were coming this way. Just like the other day, nothing was left to the imagination. Is that how popular girls dress these days? They do give off those popular mean girls' vibes.
And by the looks on their faces, they didn't seem like they were in a friendly mood either. Something must have happened again. It is a good thing they are not coming to me to argue.
To not have the same repeat of yesterday morning's dilemma. I decided to enter the school alone, no matter how scary the enormous building looked from here.
When I was about to leave, from their side. Kevin stops me with a grip on my left forearm. "Where are you going?"
"Isn't it very obvious where I'm going? Kevin, "Leo chuckles at my sarcastic tone, but Kevin doesn't at all; he frowns softly instead.
I am telling you, these people are so strange.
"We are going to take you to the office to pick up your schedule," Kevin says.
"No thanks, I'm good. Instead of worrying about me... Brother... "As the word brother sarcastically comes out of my lips, Leo's small cocky smile widens even more, making my heart painfully thump.
I continue while trying not to gawk at Leo's enchanting smile again. "Focus on your girlfriend coming this way. She doesn't appear to be happy, at all. "
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Kevin harshly cursed under his breath. I begin strolling to the school, leaving them both behind with their girlfriends who look ready to quarrel with them again.
When I am in front of the doubled red doors. I did a little quick prayer in my head, as I took in a nervous puff of air in.
"You can do this, Emma. It's only... school. People can't hurt you here. You're safe here. You're not 10 anymore.' I give myself a little pep talk. Sometimes talking to myself helps and sometimes it makes me look batshit crazy.
When I strolled inside the big building, I wandered for a while in the long never-ending hallways, avoiding people's curious stares, too scared to ask anyone for any directions or help.
Jeez, I'm starting to regret not waiting for them. No… it's better this way. The longer I'm away from them, the less control they have over me. And the more my mind could think clearly, the better I could come up with a plan to avoid their craziness.
My eyes settled on a beautiful brunette who was leaning up against a black locker, chatting to someone in front of her. She seemed kinda nice. She gives off a people-person vibe.
I worked up the courage, and walked up to them, as I tried to breathe normally and not look like a person who's about to get an asthma attack.
"Excuse me... "They both snap their heads towards me, making my nerves spike out of control. When their bright eyes filled with curiosity landed on me, my heart momentarily increased in speed. Damn, I never knew talking to strangers was so scary.
"Do you know... Where is the main office?" I nervously touched my neck as I waited for one of them to respond.
The brunette who was chatting with her friend… or boyfriend, frenemy, or bestie. Shit, I don't know, raise her eyebrows at me as she eyes me from head to toe. Analyzing me… like one of those advanced AI robots that scan people's behavior just to know how to respond by the behavior of that person in front of them.
I guess I'm not the only one that judges people by their appearance and vibes they give off. I'd be looking at myself like that if I was in her position.
She is perhaps wondering why I seem so under the weather.
She warmly smiles as her soft blue eyes land back on my worried ones, "Down the hall and make a left turn.
You will see a pink neon big paper that is not pleasing to the eyes on the black door saying 'Please come in quietly' on it. "
I say my small 'Thanks' and she nods and goes back to chatting away with her friend.
'You see, that wasn't so bad, Emma,' I whispered to myself. Feeling proud that I didn't make a fool of myself in front of her and her friend.
My therapist would be proud to hear that I did that and not have a mental breakdown while doing so.
Jeez, it's hard talking to strangers. You just don't know how they will respond to you. The last thing I want to do is make enemies.
When I was about to reach the end of the narrow white hallway, someone grabbed my left forearm, making me freeze on the spot.
"Hey, long time. No see. "My body relaxes when I realize it was just Hansol. Wow, I'm surprised he even remembers me. How long has it been? a month? I don't exactly remember clearly…. Time goes differently when you are stuck at home twenty-four hours on all seven days of the week.
He looked kinda different from the last time I saw him. His dark hair was a little longer than last time. He seemed much taller too. He was dressed in light colors today.
The contrast of the twins, who were oddly dressed in dark clothes.
He let go of me and a warm smile took over his face, "I thought. I would never see you again."
"Well… You thought wrong. "A small smile spread out on my face, as I continued strolling to my destination.
He strolled beside me like a lost puppy who had no sense of direction as to where he was heading too.
"So, Why are you alone? I would have guessed your brothers would be beside you. Not letting anyone approach you like two bodyguards on steroids. "He glances at me as a smile forms on my face at his weird description of them.
They do look dangerous especially given their stature and physique.
"Well, Thank God. That didn't happen. "I chuckle out as he nods. The fluorescent light casting down on him made his eyes appear lighter when he smiled.
We both turn left as we take a few more steps, stopping at the front door of the office.
It really had a big neon pink piece of paper that was not pleasing to the human eyes. Saying 'PLEASE COME IN, QUIETLY'.
"I'll wait out here. "Hansol leans his back against the wall as I go inside.
A young woman, who seems to be having trouble concentrating on her laptop, gazes up at me, when she hears my footsteps getting closer to her.
"Good Morning, How may I help you today? "She takes off her ebony round glasses and stands up.
"Good morning to you, too.
Ummm... I came to get my schedule. "I awkwardly smile as my grip on my bag back strip painfully tightens.
"What is your name?"
"Emma Stone." I quickly replied as I silently observed her every little movement. It was a weird habit of mine to observe people like that. Trying to always find a defect that tells me this person's morals are not in the right place.
All I can hear is the clicking of her heels against the shiny polished grey floor.
"Oh, so you're the new kid. That they keep talking about. "She goes to this small desk that is in the corner of this small office room.
It had a lot of yellow files piled on top of it. She began searching for my schedule in each of those yellow files.
"Who?... If I may ask." She momentarily peeks up at me then back down to the task at hand.
Why are people talking about me?
What about exactly?
Is it something good or bad?
Do they know who I am?
Do they know what I have done?
Now I am more nervous than before. Fantastic, Now I have an urge to go back home and lock myself in my bedroom forever until I rot away inside there.
"The teachers. They love having new faces to look at and voices to talk to.
Here you go, sweetie.
Remember... if you need any help or have any trouble at all. Don't hesitate to come back to me, Okay? "A soft smile appears on her face as her green eyes twinkle with kindness. She gives me the folder. And I gladly take it.
She's so nice, and here I was expecting a rude lady. "I'll keep that in mind, thanks."
When I stepped outside, Hansol was still there leaning against the wall while conversing with a guy.
The big guy seems kinda intimidating with all those colorful tattoos adorning his left arm.
When Hansol noticed me staring at his friend. He immediately stopped his conversation with the guy and started motioning me with his right hand to come over to them.
The tall guy next to him looked my way as I approached them slowly.
'Make friends... Be calm. Don't freak out, and make a fool of yourself in front of them Emma.
Don't judge, Emma. He could be friendly. Just like the brunette who helped me a while ago. 'I kept repeating those words non-stop in my head.
When I'm finally in front of them. Hansol speaks first "This is Emma. She's new here."
The guy next to me grins and stretches out his right hand, and I didn't hesitate to take it with my small one. "Hello, Emma. I'm William. I'm this fool's best friend… I have heard good things about you… This guy right here hasn't stopped talking about you." He motioned his head toward Hansol.
When he said, "best friend." Hansol frowns, as I shake William's hand. A small smile graced my lips at his friend's reaction when he noticed Hansol rolling his eyes on the information that he was spilling out to me.
"Well, nice to meet you, too. William. I hope... we get along. "
"Oh, but we will... "When he said that with a cocky smirk, Hansol didn't even flinch to elbow his friend in the abdomen, making him bend forward in shock.
William gazed up, perplexed by Hansol's sudden action. I was kinda surprised by it, too.
"Dude, what was that for? The hell is wrong with you? "William whines as a soft frown takes over his face as he eyed his friend… who did not look amused by his words.
"She is also the sister of the twins." William suddenly stood up straighter than before, with a shocked expression on his face. Confusion and curiosity shone in his dark brown eyes the more he stared at his best friend.
"The twins have a sister. " He then stares at me when he says those words with astonishment. Like if I was the last pony in the world.
Is that a bad thing? Do they not get along with the twins? Great, now I'm back to square one.
"Is there a problem? " I said, noticing more and more students crowding up the long halls.
"No no no, there's no problem. It's just that I never knew that the two most notorious players of the school have a sister. "His eyes ranked my body with no shame, fascinated by that fact alone.
A frown appeared on my face. Players?
Is he referring to both of them when he says "players"?
Kevin, it was to be expected.
But Leo... A womanizer… I don't believe him. Or maybe I'm just in denial that Leo is not as nice as he has portrayed himself to be in front of me for all these past few weeks.
But with what happened last night, I wouldn't be surprised if they are womanizers.
The bell rings, not letting me ask him more about them... and their womanizer tendencies.
I look at my schedule and it says for the first class of the day, science lab room 354. Man, I pray that everything goes smoothly today.
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AUTHOR NOTE:
Please ignore any bad grammar, for now, I'll fix that in the future.😊
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Please leave a comment, I would love to know what you guys think of this chapter. It would keep me more motivated and make me laugh a little.
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