Even though my car was filled with music it remained silent as time ticked by loudly, and although it wasn't awkward between Jamal and me, you could tell we were both in our own heads.

"Do you think she's okay?" I asked desperately, an hour and a half into the GPS coordinated drive and I heard Jamal sigh deeply.

"I don't know Cris." He said softly. "I've never seen her like that, and I've seen her in some pretty bad places. But you love her, right?" He asked and I nodded immediately.

"So much it scares me," I admitted, realizing that my anxiety-ridden ass was halfway into a three-hour drive to a place I'd never been to with someone I didn't know very well.

"I know it sounds corny, but thanks, for loving her in a way she deserves." He said and I sighed.

"Don't thank me yet, we need to find her first." I pointed out, worry crawling at my stomach as I saw the sun start to dip below the horizon.

"She loves you; you know. She never shuts up about you actually, it lowkey makes us laugh, and she might have played it cool but until you guys actually made it official, she was a mess- asking for advice and shit. I didn't think I'd see her so geeked about someone." He smiled before his voice got sad. "That's what surprised me about her disappearing, she was so happy with you I didn't think she'd do something like this."

"Well, that's the funny thing about grief- you never know how or how long it's going to affect someone." I pointed out, turning on my lights as we drove further on the darkening road.

* * *

The party was packed and overflowing, so much so that made my anxiety spike.

Jamal and I even had to park the car a few streets away just to find space where we wouldn't get parked in and as I walked, shaking, through the unfamiliar streets of the slightly rundown neighbourhood I gave my keys to Jamal. After all, he seemed to be the one with more pockets and a steadier mindset.

We were both a little underdressed for a party, having come straight from school but I left Haydn's hoodie that I had been wearing in the car, leaving me in white, sleeveless crop top and black sweatpants while Jamal's seemed to fit in perfectly with the rest of the alt crowd. I wrapped my arms around my waist as we walked past a group of guys who started to catcall me, and Jamal put his arm around my shoulders protectively- the night already wasn't off to a good start.

"You, okay?" He asked gently as we got to the house, people were spilling out into the streets and for a second, I got scared.

"Yeah, I've just got a bad feeling about this place." I bit my lip as I looked up at the house. It was two stories high and seemed to be vibrating from the noise and people, but it wasn't good vibrations.

"Do you really think we're gonna find her in here?" He asked quietly and I sighed.

"I don't know, but with so many people here it couldn't hurt to look," I said, trying to remain optimistic before I cleared my throat. "Um, I think we should split up, we can cover more ground that way," I said as we walked up to the house.

"Are you sure that's the way to go?" He asked unsure as a drunk guy fell out of the house and violently stumbled onto the garden before he proceeded to vomit out his stomach contents onto the grass.

"Mhmm," I murmured, unable to give him a proper answer. "Do you have your phone on you?" I asked and he nodded. "So, we'll text and call, okay?"

"Okay, fine. Just be careful." He sighed as we walked closer, and I nodded.

"I will," I promised, jumping slightly as someone broke a bottle against the wall.

"Cristina, I don't think-" Jamal started but I shook my head, already knowing what he was going to say.

"It's for Haydn, Jamal, I have to." I pleaded and he nodded his head before I ducked into the house, Jamal following me, heading in different directions as we walked amongst the crowd.

I was immediately overwhelmed and nauseous with anxiety but still, I didn't hesitate.

"HAYDN?!" I screamed, barely being heard over the music as I walked around what seemed to be a living room. "HAYDN?!" I screamed a little more desperate as I searched the unfamiliar crowd for a familiar face, pissing off partygoers as I went, not that I cared.

I wanted to pull out a picture of Haydn and start asking random people if they'd seen her, but I knew she looked too different for anyone to recognize and as time went on, I felt myself grow more frustrated. But there was something that pushed me to keep looking, something didn't feel right and that feeling sat at the bottom of my stomach like a rock and whether it was my anxiety talking or not, I had to try and find her.

"HAYDN?!" I screamed as I walked from room to room, even running into Jamal who gave me a disappointed shake of his head. "HAYDN?!"

When I didn't have any luck downstairs, I tried my luck upstairs while Jamal looked outside, my heart beating faster the longer I couldn't find her. I tried really hard to stay calm and keep my breathing under control as the walls started to close in on me and I was too busy focusing on finding Haydn and staying calm to focus much on my surroundings, so when I smacked right into someone, I wasn't too surprised.

"Aye, watch where the fuck you're going!" An angry, bald guy in full body tats screamed at me, holding me by arm bicep with a surprisingly gentle grasp.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" I yelled as I ripped my arm out his hand, already trying to move past him- I didn't have time for his bullshit.

"Oh, shit." He said softly. "You're Cristina." That got my attention.

"Wha-how did you know?" I stuttered taking a step back as I tried to look behind him, still looking for my girlfriend.

"You're Haydn's girlfriend." He said and suddenly all my attention snapped to him and his handsome face.

"Who the fuck are you?" I spat and he held up his hands defensively.

"I'm Bones-"

"Bones?! Do you know where Haydn is?" I asked immediately, feeling like a crazy person as his name registered in my brain.

"I don't know, she disappeared over an hour ago and I can't find her." He groaned and I felt as the floor had been ripped out from under my feet.

"She's here?" I whispered breathlessly and as he nodded, I pushed past him with new determination. "HAYDN?!" I screamed as I started banging on the doors of the rooms, walking into the unlocked ones which led to many awkward sexual sights and a few angry couples- but I couldn't care less.

"Are you crazy?! You can't just barge into people's rooms like that." Bones scolded me but I just ignored him, flipping him off as I went to the last door- the master bedroom. "Just wait a sec, I'm calling a friend to see if she's with him." He said, his phone already by his ear as he tried to pull me back, muttering about my safety.

I ignored Bones and pushed open the wooden door only to be met yet another, awkward sexual sight, only this was different... The sound of the door opening seemed to shock the blonde man because he climbed off his partner, in just his underwear and came barreling over to shut the door but I stood my ground.

"Don't you knock!" He seethed; the pupils of his blue eyes too large to be deemed natural but it was the stillness of his partner that alarmed me. "Get the fuck out!" He spat trying to close the door on me and I thought of calling someone to help me.

That was until a familiar moth tattoo caught my eye and I immediately felt the life drain from my body.

"NO, NO, NO!" I cried as I ducked under his large arm and into the room only to see my girlfriend limp and unmoving on the bed, dressed in nothing but a sports bra and boxers.

I lurched forward as I tried to get to her, but just before I could reach her, I was pulled back by a fist full of my hair and I was slammed against his solid body as his meaty arm wrapped around my waist, crushing me.

"DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO GET OUT!" The blonde bellowed as he tried to pull me out of the room while I fought violently against him.

"HAYDN!" I screamed, my voice already hoarse as I tried to get her to wake up or move or something. "GET OFF OF ME!"

I heard heavy footsteps come down the hall before I found myself sprawled out on the carpeted floor; my head dizzy as my lungs expanded. I turned around to see Bones, who was deceivingly strong, pummeling the almost naked man but I pushed past the mental image as I scrambled towards Haydn. If I didn't know any better, I'd think she was asleep, but I did know better, so as soon as I touched the smooth skin of her face, I started to shake her, trying to get any indication from her that she wasn't dead or dying. Her eyes remained closed and unreacting as her shallow breath and slow heartbeat made mine quicken, but raw panic started to set in when I opened her eyelids and was met with only the whites of her eyes.

"Baby, please wake up. Come on, open your eyes, Haydn." I pleaded with tears in my eyes as I slapped her face gently but to no avail.

A cold shower would sober her up. Roxanne's mom-like voice popped into my head, cutting through the anxious thoughts as I set my sights on the bathroom.

Calling Jamal with one hand, I sprang into action, wrapping my arm under Haydn's chest as I started to pull her off the bed as the phone rang, Bones screaming violently in the background, but I couldn't bring myself to look at the scene.

"Cris?" He answered immediately and I grunted as I pulled Haydn towards the bathroom.

"I found her, upstairs in one of the rooms." I panted slightly. "Please hurry," I stressed into the phone before ending the call and focusing all my energy to drag Haydn into the bathroom. "You're okay baby, I've got you, I'm here," I murmured, fighting tears as I used all my strength to get Haydn into the bathroom.

I ignored the commotion outside as I threw my phone on the sink before backing into the glass shower and pulling Haydn against me, her head lolling against my shoulder as I held her close. Bracing myself, I didn't hesitate to turn the shower all the way on cold and turned on the tap, the icy water drenching us both instantly.

"Haydn, baby, please wake up," I begged, teeth chattering as sobs started to escape my lips while I brushed her short, wet hair.

"CRISTINA!" Jamal yelled from the room, sounding just as stressed as I was.

"In here!" I sniffled, pulling her closer to me as Jamal walked in, stopping in his tracks.

"Fuck." He swore under his breath as he took in the scene, and I sobbed.

"I don't know what's wrong with her, she won't wake up." I cried, looking up at him as my hair hung around my face.

"Shit, okay, okay." He panicked, taking off his hoodie and coming closer to me. "Cris, I think you're going to have to make her throw up." He tried again, calmer this time, and I sniffed as I wiped my eyes. "It's going to make her throw up any alcohol in her stomach, you okay to do it?" He asked and I nodded my head- it wouldn't be my first time.

I leaned away from Haydn and stuck my fingers down her throat, feeling slightly relieved when she threw up, only liquids, onto the shower floor for a minute before she collapsed back onto me, her eyes fluttering but not opening.

I was no longer scared; I was fucking terrified.

"Jamal?" I asked in a trembling voice, hoping he would have any new ideas.

"Can you drive?" He asked desperately and I nodded my head before he turned the tap off and passed me his hoodie. "Okay, put this on her." He stressed before disappearing into the room and returning with a pair of men's shorts.

"Where are we taking her?" I whispered as I dressed Haydn in the clothes.

"The hospital." He grunted as he leaned down and picked her up with ease.

His words made my knees weak, and I wanted to cry all over again, but I knew I had to pull myself towards myself in order to help.

"Okay," I murmured as I got up and grabbed my phone and a towel before wrapping it around me. "Let's go." I asserted, taking the keys from Jamal as we left.

Jamal and I hurried out of the bathroom, and I averted my gaze from the blonde man who now lay groaning against the wall, beaten and bloody, Bones standing over him with a bloody fist and a stained white shirt.

"Can I come with you?" He asked, his worried eyes glued on Haydn as Jamal, and I glanced at each other for a split second.

"Do you know where the hospital is?" Jamal asked carefully.

"Yes, I can direct you." He nodded and Jamal's shoulders relaxed in relief.

"Perfect, here, you take her." He stated, passing Haydn off to the much stronger Bones before grabbing the keys out of my hand. "I'm going to run and go get the car, you guys meet me outside." He commanded before he took off, quickly disappearing as Bones and I followed, struggling to move past the crammed bodies before an unbalanced girl in extremely high heels blocked our way.

"Booo." She frowned. "Don't take my drinking buddy." She pouted, moving to stroke Haydn's hair before I smacked her hand away. "Hey-"

"I will not hesitate to beat you with a broken bottle if you do not move the FUCK out of our way." I seethed, taking out my pent-up anger and frustration in one sentence as I glared at the girl who quickly left.

By the time Bones and I managed to make our way-out Jamal had already gotten there, jumping out of the car as he went to open the doors for us. I climbed to the backseat before Bones placed Haydn with me, leaning her upper body on my chest as I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her forehead while Bones and Jamal climbed into the front seats.

The drive to the hospital was quicker than expected but I didn't know if that was because I was slightly panicked, or Jamal was driving like a crazy person. I was just relieved that when Bones ran through the entrance of the Emergency Room with Haydn in his arms, they told us they would be able to help, but when they whisked her away on a hospital bed, the events of the night suddenly came crashing on me. My knees collapsed out from under me, right there in the corridor, and I couldn't do anything other than sob into my hands.