《Remembering Us》"Couldn't Be Happier"
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"Good day?" I ask Theo, pulling his navy blanket up to his chin.
"Good day." He grins up at me, "Thank you for my new bike Daddy."
"Happy birthday Theo." I lean down and kiss his forehead, when I straighten he's looking at me frowning. "What's wrong?"
"Daddy, are you mad at mommy?" He questions, sitting up and frowning.
Isaac doesn't seem surprised at my fist being currently stuck in the drywall.'
"Better?" He asks and I growl a no.
"One second she's telling me she's trying to trust me and the next she's accusing me of trying to drown my daughter."
Isaiah, the calm, levelheaded doctor sighs. "I think she just got caught up in the moment. You have to remember most people don't start their kids in water lessons before they turn one."
"Still, her first thought was that-"
"I'm not saying she was right, Cameron," He cuts me off and I glare at him. "I'm simply saying that not everyone's first thought is that they're four year old is a great swimmer." He gets a solemn look on his face. "Meghan and I had a fight the other day because I got home and she was inside while Carter was in the pool and I flipped out. Do you know how many kids I've pronounced braindead due to a water incident? I'm not saying it was okay for her to make it sound like you don't care about Mayzie but I guarantee that no one told Amelia that Mayzie wants to be an Olympic swimmer."
"It's just hard." I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose, as I feel a migraine starting. "She's like a ghost, she's here but I can't touch her."
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"Is it too hard though?" Isaiah questions and I look at him.
"No." My voice shakes with conviction. "It never will be."
He punches my shoulder, nodding with a soft smile. "Good, because even if you don't see, you both are making progress."
"Yeah?" I question, wondering what he sees. Her kiss earlier was the first touch we've had since the accident.
"Yeah, you called her baby earlier out of habit and she didn't even notice."
'Now baby' I had said and she simply smiled while unkinking the hose.
"Progress." I nod to myself. "It's all about progress."
"No, bud, I'm not mad at Mommy." I brush the curls from his forehead, he looks just like me expect his eyes, those are Amelia's. "We just got in a little fight earlier."
"But you didn't buy her flowers today."
"For me?" My wife grins, taking the roses from my hands. "It's Theo's birthday, not mine." She giggles, letting me bend down to kiss her.
"Mmh." I hum, getting a taste of chocolate frosting from her lips. "You gave me one of the most precious things a year ago, you should be honored along with him."
"You played a part too." She bounces onto her tip-toes, kissing me this time.
"Not as mush as you." My arms wrap around her waist, pulling to tightly to me. I take a minute to look at her. "I couldn't be happier than I am now, you know that right?" I ask her seriously, frowning when she gets a mischievous glint in her eye.
"Even if we had another?" Just as her words register she quickly says "I'm not but..." She pauses, and my heart rate starts to quicken. "I wouldn't mind being." Her actions mimic her words as she rolls her hips against mine.
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"Now?" I question, pulling the strings that tie her black apron to her body, feeling myself getting quickly excited.
"We have an hour." She mumbles, her hands moving to the belt of my suit pants.
She giggles when I suddenly grab her by the thighs and throw her over my shoulder, before starting toward the stairs. But when an idea suddenly enters my mind, and I turn back to the kitchen.
"No, that's for the cake!" She slaps my ass as she sees me grab the bowl of frosting she just spent who knows how long perfecting.
"I'll help you make more later."
"It was just busy today." I gently push him to lie back down. "I forgot. I promise to buy Mommy flowers tomorrow." He seems satisfied with my promise because he rolls to his side muttering goodnight.
A few minutes later, I walk into my bedroom and see Amelia already in bed. She's rolled over, her back facing me.
We haven't talked yet, and I don't know if we will tonight. Never going to bed angry was part of our vows but I don't know if they apply anymore.
Sighing, I crawl under my set of blankets. Bitterness suddenly melts though my whole body. It should be me and her with not even a thread separating us, not us having our own sides, two feet apart, our backs to each other, and under different blankets.
"Cameron?" She whispers, and I feel her turn.
"Yeah?" I try, but I'm unable to keep the annoyance from my tone. I'm exhausted, I want a good nights sleep but I know I won't get one anytime soon.
"I'm really sorry." She mutters, and I sigh, closing my eyes.
"I know."
"Cameron," She whispers again, a few seconds later. "Thank you, for talking to your mom, it really meant a lot to her."
I grunt in response, I did it for her not my mother.
"I told myself I would let you kiss me if your mother left happy." Her statement has me rolling over, frowning at the vulnerability both in her eyes and tone. "She was laughing when she follow your dad out."
I study her face, she looks relaxed, not afraid of me. When I shift to slightly hover over her, she doesn't jump, she stays statue still, inhaling slightly when I start to lean down. My eyes squeeze shut on their own accord and my lips connect with her forehead.
They stay there, God knows how long, only when I feel a shameful tear slip from the corner of my eye do I remove my trembling lips.
I need to accept that my Lia is gone, but this Amelia is starting to open up to me, were learning about each other, we can't go back to where we were but we can start over, and maybe be stronger.
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