Long and sentiment chapter ahead. This is my fav chap in the whole series as a writer, the best I've ever written. It doesn't mean it's perfect, so don't judge me by seeing this as the peak of my capabilities. It's just the best I've ever written(as in better than the other chaps and satisfying to me) but not my best(know what I mean, I can do much more is what I'm saying).

Park Seonghwa can't sleep. He woke up from a nightmare and tried to get back to the dreamland, hopefully, to see something less revolting this time, but his body couldn't just spare him another opportunity. Deciding to lie down to induce sleep didn't just only not work but also made his mind corrupt with uncomfortable, tedious thoughts that he promised to not ponder on often.

At last, he decides it's morning for him and steps out from his lonely room which ironically is shared with someone( a certain someone who's barely home though; you know who). The first one he sees as walks to the kitchen is the early-riser of the dorms, Kang Yeosang.

"Oh, you're early!" the younger boy says. He offers the bottle of cold water to his hyung that he was drinking from.

"You okay?" Yeosang asks. "Is it because of a nightmare or something?"

"It was just a lame nightmare," Seonghwa meekly says before continuing to take sips of the water.

"What was it? Was it bad?"

"No, nothing to worry about. I already forgot it."

He's actually just hesitant to speak to the boy about what's making him so restless within. Especially since what it entails is what the younger pulled aside Seonghwa last night to give him a lecture on. Yeosang is a bit scary when he's serious. When Soojin left their house yesterday, Seonghwa spent the rest of the day doing live and then in work with his dongsaengs. The only time Yeosang could get to have the talk with him was when they returned home at night. From what Seonghwa heard from the boy, everyone in the house wasn't of great opinions of how distant and discomforting he was towards Soojin the last day.

Yeosang leaves Seonghwa be in the kitchen and goes back to his room, and before the latter can let his mind involved in thoughts, he hears the front door opening. He leaves the kitchen to see a zombily walking Hongjoong approaching their room.

"You're up early," Hongjoong lazily comments and Seonghwa follows him to their shared room.

"Woke up from a nightmare and couldn't sleep again."

"But you look sleepy. Sleepier than me," the short boy reasons.

"My brain preferred to bombard me with thoughts," Seonghwa tiredly says.

"Are you alright?" Hongjoong says, scrutinizing his friend's every feature to catch any leads. The both of them seat themselves on their beds.

"I don't know why this is bothering me so much."

"What is?"

"I dreamt about Soojin again. And then I couldn't sleep again 'cause I was thinking about her. What am I supposed to do?"

Hongjoong nods. "I heard about how you didn't talk to her yesterday. Did you think about that a lot before you went to sleep? Were you maybe guilty?"

"Yes, I was guilty even while being like that to her. And I did think about it. But that's not it. I just think about her a bit too much in general, even before she showed up yesterday. I mean I'm even having the dreams."

"Hwa, you don't want to do this, do you? The avoidance game. Why do you do it then? You can be friends with her. That is not unethical and wrong at all. You're obviously not a couple anymore. And she never insinuated that she was wanting to be with you again. I just think she wants you to be her friend. It took her so much time to see us all as her friends again. It was just yesterday that she came through. And I missed it," Hongjoong frowns at the last part.

"So why are you so afraid?" he continues.

"It feels wrong to be around her when I kno—"

"Why is it wrong? You can be friends with anyone. A lot of people are friends with their ex."

"No, Hongjoong, you don't understand."

"But I do!"

Seonghwa makes eye contact with the team leader.

"It's not wrong to be friends but it's wrong to be friends and have feelings for your ex, it's wrong to tend to wish for a future with her. Either you like her or you think you will eventually like her again if you hang out with her. Isn't that what you're thinking?"

Seonghwa answers with silence. It's hard to hide things from Hongjoong. He and Yunho are the ones in their team who are the most observant and the best at catching up with others' emotions. Not only that, Seonghwa and Hongjoong are really close friends who only confide in each other in their time of need. Although the younger is an ace at understanding the working of Seonghwa's mind, Seonghwa can't completely say that he can do that for the other just as well. It takes more to understand the leader of Ateez.

"Hmm," Hongjoong begins. "Seonghwa, I thought time will heal you but it doesn't seem to be working. I have to say this now. You—" he points at his friend.

"—can't control who you fall for. If you like someone, you just like them, Hwa. Please understand that."

"By that logic, incest would be valid," Seonghwa lamely retorts. Hmm, interesting point right there.

"Don't reason with me. It's time you should listen. You can decide on whatever you want to but listen before you come to confirmation. We all just never forced this truth on you, sure we told you that you did nothing wrong, but we knew you were in a state that made you listen from one ear and discard from the other, so we let it be, thinking you'll realize on your own. So now listen to the truth, it's not empty words of comfort but the truth. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG, PARK SEONGHWA! It wasn't in your control. And loving someone, you can't control that."

"Cheating is wrong, Hongjoong!" Seonghwa adamantly argues back.

"You did not cheat! If you happen to fall for someone when you're committed to someone else, that is not cheating unless you deliberately tried to do things like going on dates and initiating stuff that leads to the intention of romance with that someone. And when you fall for that person and still not come clean to your girlfriend and intentionally hide it, then you are cheating."

Seonghwa doesn't speak. He's defenceless.

"You became guilty as soon as you realized you liked another person and you chose the correct way, you called things off, Seonghwa. And you are still guilty, even though you don't need to be at all and are just being an idiot. You're a good man, Seonghwa." He really is.

Seonghwa nods. "I will believe you, Hongjoong."

"Don't just do it for my sake. Take time and question the rationality of what you believe, question mine. Clear off that cloud in your head and you'll realize."

"Joong," Seonghwa meekly whispers and the other hums.

"Can I ask you something? And I want an honest answer," Seonghwa says.

Hongjoong looks at him unsure. "I guess?"

"Do you like Soojin? I mean you liked Daisy, and now she's back. Did the feelings come back for you? Or was it already there? How was it for you to face her again? Please tell me. We already know how it's for Jongho. You, I have no idea about."

"I don't know. I've never wondered about it," Hongjoong says, eyes fixated on the ground. He looks deep lost in his thoughts. He looks like he's looking for an answer, like he's figuring it out himself for the first time. And Seonghwa gives him that time.

After a few moments, Hongjoong suddenly speaks again, gaining Seonghwa's attention.

"You know this, we had all prepared ourselves to never see her again. She wasn't real to us until the day she showed up. Until that day, we had forced ourselves to forget her. So when she did show up, we were all in a state of confusion. 'Should we accept her or let it be?' But I guess none of us really worked ourselves enough to not feel a thing at all when we saw her. After a brief moment of confusion, all of us wanted to reconnect with her. Those who felt friendly feelings for her once wanted to pursue that, those who liked her more than friends started to feel that again. Jongho's like that; you were busy battling your own issues with her revival and I knew if that wasn't the case, you'd be like Jongho too."

"But I don't think I'm like either of you," he continues. "Of course, it still feels weird around her. But I think —I'm not entirely sure— that it's just self-consciousness. When you meet the crush you once had in school again after many years, you still find them beautiful and lovable and feel conscious about yourself but it's only because you remember you were once totally into them. I think it's like that for me. I don't have a crush anymore but I still find her someone of potential. But I'm a different version of how I was in that magic world; lifestyle affects. And you know that I have never once had a crush since you met me, ignoring the magic world, of course."

Seonghwa nods in understanding when Hongjoong finishes. He spends the next minute confined in his thoughts, eyes fixed on the wall and all zoned out. When he finally looks back towards Hongjoong's bed, he finds the younger cutely sleeping, leaning against the wall instead of laying down. He walks up to help his friend lie down and pulls out his socks and cap. And he does so with a small smile. He's thankful for having a friend like Hongjoong.

And outside in the living room, in the silence of the otherwise sleeping dorm, Yeosang who could hear the duo's whole conversation, after confirming there isn't going to be any more of it sighs before he goes back to using his phone.

.

.

.

"It was already so awkward back then. Three people crushed on her, three, that's a fairly large number. It was painful and uncomfortable to see all three being so hurt or awkward," Wooyoung says, as a matter of fact, shaking his head in disbelief at the turn of events.

"So now Seonghwa hyung is planning to talk to her?" San who entered Wooyoung's room just a few moments ago, nescient of the conversation that was preceding, says. "It should be a good thing, I still don't know why you both fretting over it."

"Aren't you understanding?" Yeosang says. "Wooyoung just said it. Imagine everything going back to how it was back then, San. The three of them still crushing on the same person. It'd more problematic now than then."

"We'd have done drugs back then and nobody would care. It's not the same now. There has to be peace in the team. If the history repeats..." Wooyoung pauses. "Daisy would have a hard time too. She just came back to us, I don't want her to run away because of those three."

"I don't think we'd have to worry about the awkwardness, I don't think she'd be willing to date any of them. She'll probably reject all, and they'll all be equally hurt. But that's better than seeing the girl you like choose someone else over you, right? It'll die down soon then." Yeosang reasons.

"I still don't understand," the clueless San says. "Why'd the history repeat? Jongho's flirty with her, but it's only him this time. Why are you assuming Seonghwa hyung's stance just based on the fact that he's wanting to confess and befriend her again."

"I overheard the hyungs talking today," Yeosang says. "And even though I can't say for sure, I think there may already be or there could be feelings involved in the future. I'm already sure about Jongho though, the hyungs were too. Come on, everyone knows he's crushing on her, probably Soojin too."

Jongho sleepily groans and opens his eyes, gaining the attention of the rest three. "You're talking as if I'm not here. This is my room too, you know," he says in his deep, boyish bed voice.

"What all did you listen to?" San asks.

"I woke up when you barged into this room so loudly, hyung. You guys are annoying," the maknae complains and gets up to leave the room.

After his morning routine, Jongho goes to see Seonghwa.

"I heard that you finally decided to tell noona," he tells the oldest.

"Ahh," Seonghwa sighs. "It was a decision on impulse, and now everyone is speaking about it in the house. Should I not? I'm nervous."

"What are you talking about? Of course, you have to tell her someday or the other, unless you're planning to just let go of the friendship and completely ignore her forever."

"So you think we should be back to friends too?"

"Yes, why wouldn't I?" Jongho firmly establishes. He's oddly way too calm about all this, not gonna lie. I'm curious about what's going on in his head but I can't be bothered to go inside it and check.

Seonghwa looks into the other's eyes, testing to look for an ounce of disapproval on his face, but there's none.

"Okay, then I'm doing it. Today, if possible."

Jongho smiles. "Don't worry about that. I'll take care of it," he says and leaves, leaving the older behind in confusion.

.

.

.

"You don't have any friends, do you?" eomma barges into the restaurant kitchen with a phone in her hands startling me and the head cook with her angry tone.

"Wha..What?" I say.

"Of course, she has. Joshua oppa," Sooyoung answers for me.

I hate when my family can't stop dragging and talking about my private life in the restaurant full of people, and it sucks more that they can't make it less loud. What am I saying? All the regular customers already know everything about my life now, thanks to these two.

"SHE HAS NO FRIENDS, SO YOU BETTER STOP STALKING MY CHILD OR I'LL REPORT IT TO THE POLICE!" eomma screams into the phone resting on her ear.

"Drama again, ugh!" Donghyuck says rolling his eyes.

STOP SCREAMING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

"Eomma, stop screaming," I calmly say, biting my lip. "The customers can hear you. Again! Gimme that phone." I don't bother to wait and snatch it immediately.

"Who is this?" I calmly ask the other person on the line that dared to make my mother mad.

"Soojin-ah, this guy says he only wants you to deliver for him. He knew everything about you. What a stalker pervert? Report him now," eomma furiously says in one go. "You're my only precious child."

"Oof!" Hyuck goes. "Eomma!" complains Youngie.

"I asked who is this," I say again, my voice lacking patience. By now, the whole restaurant is discussing this, making up theories and scaring eomma. I can hear the person on the phone breathing.

"I- I- I-....sorry," comes from the person and I freeze. Oh my God! "Jongho?"

He hums. "Yeah, it's me."

"Idiot!" I say. "You have my personal number, could have called me in that. Anyway, I'm hanging up. Will call you back in a moment."

"Eomma, it was my friend! Now you scared him off!" I furiously say.

"What? Really? What? How?... That is why I asked you if you had any friends! Oh my God, I was harsh on that kid!" she yells. "Let me apologize."

"Relax, I'm calling him, wait."

"Unnie, who is it?" Youngie asks.

"Yeah, who?" asks Hyuck, raising his brows.

"Jongho," I mouth to my sister and Hyuck asks, "Who?" I just ignore him and dials for Jongho.

"You've got some explaining, boy," I say as the call connects.

"Now, don't be harsh on him," I hear Wooyoung speaking instead. "He didn't personally order from you thinking you might reject to deliver for us. We want to meet you, do you have time?"

"We also want the chicken we ordered," I hear the faint voice of Yeosang in the background.

"Give the phone to Jongho, my eomma wants to apologize to him."

And then I get back to work, preparing their order as eomma seems to smile and laugh and enjoy all the time talking with Jongho and prying information from him. I guess he didn't mention he was an idol, she would be screaming that information all over the restaurant otherwise. I sigh, I guess I have to apologize to Jongho for this.

When I ring the doorbell of the precious Ateez dorms this time, the door doesn't take much time to answer. It's Yunho who greets me this time. "Annyeong, Soojin-ah," he says with a big, goofy smile. "Come in, Ms delivery girl."

"Sure, sir," I say playing my part while entering in. "It would be 3,500 Won."

"Sir?" he asks.

"Or would you prefer puppy?"

"3,500 Won?" San complains. "Yah, we already did the cashless payment for it!"

"It's the delivery charges for the special delivery by me," I say and hand over the food to San, inviting Yunho for a hug. He happily gives me one. I pull back to see that all the boys are here. Even Mingi and Captain.

"Yo, glasses," I say.

"Yo, glasses no. 2," Mingi greets me back. He comes and greets me with a hug, and Captain follows.

"I really can't believe it," he says with a big smile. "You're really back to how you were."

"Aww, Captain. You're still short up close."

"Yah, you're shorter than me!" he says.

"Gimme my chicken," Yeosang snatches the bag of food from San and runs to the kitchen.

"I still don't know if we've to pay you the 3,500 or not?" San says.

"I was kidding, you dummy," I reply. "Now, I'm a hardworking youth now, I don't have much time, tell me why I was asked to be here." I look at Jongho. "I am sorry if my eomma bored you, sweetie, but you brought it upon yourself."

"Oh, no no. Trust us, Daisy," Wooyoung says. "It was fun hearing from your mother, she told us many things about you," he smirks.

Ahh, well. Shit!

"I bet she has embarrassed me in all the ways she can. That's how my mother is. Just do not tell me what all she told you, for God's sake. What I do not know can't hurt me."

They all laugh.

I clear my throat. "Captain, why am I here?"

"Ahh, right..." he says and they all look at Park Seonghwa, drawing my eyes awkwardly to him as well. And then eye contact. Why God, why?

"I have something to talk to you, Soojin," he trails off. HE wants to talk to ME? What in the world?

"That's why we called you. Don't worry, I'll make sure to hurry it as much as I can. Sorry if it's too sudden," he says.

"Don't worry about that? Eomma was happy I have more friends now, she wouldn't mind me being late. And I personally don't mind wandering off outside to avoid as much work as I can in the restaurant," I laugh and they all do too. Well except for Seonghwa who just smiles softly.

"Okay then, let them talk in the room," Captain announces. "Everyone else, come, let's eat in the meanwhile."

"Who said there's any left for y'all in the first place!" We all hear Yeosang's voice from somewhere in the house and I can't help but crack up.

I see the others dispersing. Jongho gives me a quick encouraging smile that leaves me quirking a brow. What is happening!

"Come on," Seonghwa-ssi(?), Seonghwa(?) says.

I look around the room when we enter it. Holy Shit! I'm in my biases' room. Yeah, I still stan this dude in front of me as a fan, even though there's this weird cold war thingy going on between us.

"Woah!" I exclaim.

"You like the room?" he asks. Am I imagining it or his conduct suddenly become all friendly unlike ever since we met in real life?