I screamed as a heavy body bag tumbled out of the cabinet, knocking me over.

"Oh my god! Oh my god. Get it off!!!!" I screamed as the guys came running over to me. "Violet!" Colby yelled and pushed furniture out of the way. "Get it off! Get it off!" I screamed as I tried to push the heavy bag off of me.

Colby rushed over and pushed the bag off of me then pulled me into his arms. "It's okay. You're okay." He cooed as my skin crawled. "I'm gonna throw up....I'm gonna throw up!" I yelled and pushed away from him as I leaned over and threw up.

Colby held my hair back as I slapped the ground with my hand, gagging on the taste of bile in my throat.

"It's okay...it's okay." Colby cooed as he lifted my trembling body off of the ground. "I-is that a dead body?" Corey asked as I gagged again, trembling into Colby more.

"Let's not talk about it for a minute." Colby said as he carried me up the stairs. "No dude, WHAT was that?!" Corey yelled nervously as we ran outside.

"We'll talk about it in a minute!" Colby repeated with venom in his voice as we got outside. "Are you okay, V?" Sam asked as Colby sat on the ground, holding me close.

"That's disgusting." I mumbled as I breathed in the crisp air, letting it fill my lungs. "What was that?" Jake asked as I cringed.

"It was a body bag, Jake." I said and closed my eyes. "No way. We're leaving. Right now." Corey said and started walking towards the car. "Ya know I actually think I'm with Corey on this one...we got enough footage." Sam said as I nodded.

"Okay." I mumbled and leaned off of Colby's chest. "Film your outro." I said then walked to the car. "Vi..." Colby said as I turned around and nodded at him. "I'm okay, I'll be in the car." I said then turned around again and walked to the car.

Sam unlocked it for me so I could get in and sit in the back seat. I honestly still felt sick to my stomach since we didn't know what was in that bag and we never would.

I think I knew what it was but I didn't want to think about it or press on with it anymore.

I just want to go home and take a long ass shower.

As I waited for the guys to come back I checked my phone, trying to distract myself from the events that happened tonight.

The hate I've been getting has died down a lot since I haven't posted anything in over a month. People gave up on hating me because I wasn't near the guys anymore.

At least that's what they thought.

After a few minutes the guys got back in the car. "You okay?" Corey asked as I locked my phone and put it in my pocket. "Yeah, are you?" I asked as he nodded. "I can't believe that happened." Jake said as Colby started driving.

"Let's just...try to forget about it." I mumbled as Jake laughed. "How the hell are we supposed to just forget about it! We just discovered a dead guy!" He yelled which made me cringe.

"No. We don't know that...it was heavy, if it was a dead person it wouldn't have been so heavy. Bodies decay." I said trying to convince myself that it was just a long storage bag and not a body bag.

"Let's just not talk about it anymore. It's over. We aren't going back. It's done." Colby said as we all nodded and silently sat there.

After a minute of silence Colby put some music on to lighten the mood.

By the end of the drive things felt a little more normal since Jake started going on a tangent about some video game they were all playing.

I zoned out and kept my eyes on the road in front of us the whole time, trying to navigate my feelings right now. I think I was fine, or at least I convinced myself that I was fine.

I just needed a shower.

When we got home I quietly walked to my room and shut the door, locking it behind me since I just wanted to be alone.

I grabbed a pair of shorts and one of Colby's sweatshirts then went to the bathroom so I could shower and brush my teeth.

"Vi?" Colby asked as he knocked on the door. I sighed then wrapped a towel around my body then opened the door. "Are you okay?" He asked as I nodded.

"Yeah, I just want to shower and be alone right now." I said as he brought his hand to my cheek. "You're sure?" He asked and looked me in the eyes. "Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow okay? It's late." I said as he nodded. "Okay. I love you." He said as I nodded. "Love you, too." I said then gave him a kiss and closed the door.

I looked at myself in the mirror and took a deep breath. "You're fine." I said to myself then shook my hands out and got in the shower.

The hot water relaxed my muscles giving me a sense of relaxation that I was looking for. I let out a deep breath and closed my eyes, savoring this moment as best as I could.

I ended up showering for way longer than I was planning to but I didn't care, I was feeling way better.

I braided my hair and brushed my teeth for the third time then got dressed and went back to my room. I laid on my bed and just stared at the canvas in front of me.

Every night I would look at it and miss Colorado more and more.

I loved the people I was around now, and I didn't mind the LA lifestyle but it wasn't me. I felt like I would never truly fit in here.

I couldn't get a job. I couldn't be the videos with the guys.

I felt useless.

I sighed as my phone started to ring.

"Hello?" I answered as I scrubbed my face with my hand. "Hey, long time no talk!" Ki said as I chuckled. "Yeah...you'll never guess where I am." I said and sat up, pulling knees to my chest.

"Ooo I love this game, where?" She asked as I chuckled. "LA." I said as she gasped. "Deadass?" She asked as I laughed. "Yeah. I did it." I said as she cheered.

"That's amazing!! Are you living with Colby? Are you having sex with Colby?" Ki asked as I laughed. "Yes, and yes." I said as she gasped. "Tell me more!" She said as I shook my head and laughed. "No, Ki. What have you been up to anyways?" I asked as she groaned.

"I want to quit my job and find myself a fine piece of ass. I deserve it." She said as I nodded. "You really do." I said as she hummed in approval.

I heard someone trying to talk to her as she muffled the phone with her hand. "Listen, I gotta go. I'm at work and boss is yelling at me but it was nice talking to you!" She said as I smiled.

"You're gonna get fired. You have no idea how much I needed this phone call." I said with a small smile. "I'm glad I could help, call me whenever. Love youuu!" She sang then hung up.

I was so grateful that I met Ki, she somehow always knew when I was in a bad mood or when I needed a little bit of inspiration.

She was such a great friend.

It was really late and I wanted to sleep but I was really restless. I laid in bed staring at the ceiling for a while before I finally decided to go outside and get some fresh air.

I grabbed a blanket and quietly made my way outside so I could attempt to look at the stars. LA smog usually made the stars dull but some nights they were bright enough to see.

When I got outside I cuddled up on one of the lawn chairs by the pool. I let out a deep breath then looked up at the sky.

I started thinking about how useless I've been feeling. I started to think about the fact that I've been here for a few weeks and still haven't been able to find a job. I started to think that this was all a big mistake again.

"Mom...dad...if you're out there can you give me a sign that I'm doing the right thing...that I'm not just a huge fuck up?" I asked the sky as I searched for the constellations.

The wind blew slightly just seconds before I heard a door open.

"Vi, is that you?" Colby asked from his balcony. "Yeah." I said and looked up at the balcony as he sighed. "Come up here.." He said and waved his hand. I smiled slightly then got up and went back inside so I could go sit upstairs with him.

When I got to his room he was standing in the doorway of his balcony. "Can't sleep?" He asked quietly as I nodded and walked to him. "I'm too restless." I said as he enveloped me in a hug. "I am too...come on, let's just hang out for a while." He said as I nodded.

He led me out to the big chair that he had out on the balcony then sat down, pulling me down with him.

"Are you okay?" Colby asked quietly as I nodded and cuddled into him. "I'm sorry for what happened tonight." I said as he shook his head. "It wasn't our fault, V. In fact I think it's pretty badass that you figured out something like that." He said as I nodded.

"I shouldn't have dug so deep into it though. I should have just let you guys do your thing." I said with a sigh. "Don't do that..you literally made going there worthwhile. I wish we could share you with the fans...like...I really wish we could." He said and held me tightly.

"I don't think that can ever happen." I said with a sigh and nuzzled into him a little more. "I think one day we can..I just don't know how or when. I just don't want to see you get hurt." He said as I nodded. "I won't. They can't hurt me." I said then kissed his cheek.

We sat up and talked all night which made everything feel so much better. No matter how sad I was to be away from Colorado and how useless I felt because I couldn't get a job, he always made me happier.

He was the sign my parents sent me.