Things had been sweet with Fred. Little kisses and holding hands. It made me feel everything and more but I started to want more. Of course, I didn't want to pressure him but I couldn't help that every time I looked at him I thought of tearing his clothes off.

I reminded myself he showed nothing but love to me. Kindness. But the little voice in the back of my mind asked where the passion was? Where was the excitement? I didn't want to be careful.

"Hey snap out of it Randy. You're messing up the potion." Miranda snapped her fingers in front of my eyes to wake me from my thoughts.

"Sorry, yeah." Okay so two more slow stirs clockwise and I'm going to fetch the beetle wings. Frankie headed over to the front of the classroom and started examining the contents on the ingredient desk.

I looked over to Fred who by my surprise was already looking at me. It made my head flutter a bit, so I offered a small smile. He raised an eyebrow to ask if I was okay. As I took the ladle carefully out of the cauldron I shot him a thumbs up. Satisfied, he turned back around to work on his potion. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

My mind turned back to Frankie as she returned with the beetle wings.

***

That evening Fred and I were finishing a History of magic paper together in the common room. Correction, he was done but I scrambled to put my work together at the last minute.

"And what year was Spender Soils made again?" I asked with puppy dog eyes not wishing to scan the book again for this information.

"1585." Fred chuckled. He knew all the answers these days. I don't know how he does it.

"Got it." I scribbled my last sentence and closed my parchment roll. The common room was empty and it was late. Most people had already gone to bed.

"Merlin, I'm glad that is over, thank you so much for your help." I turned to Fred and sunk into his chest.

"Anytime love." Fred grinned. I looked up from his chest and smirked. "New nickname?" I questioned.

"Mmm yeah I think so, love, Benny had to go at some point." The way he was looking into my eyes made me forget all my doubts earlier today. He ducked down to peck me but I caught the kiss and continued it instead. We stayed like this for a while Fred seemed more lost in it giving me nothing but positive connotations. Opening my mouth slightly I heard a strangle of a neck from Fred's throat. Using that as my guide I climbed over into his lap and got closer to him. He became more intense as our bodies slipped together into a careful rhythm. His hand roamed on my back making their way and grabbing my hips.

I was loving this, this moment, this is what I had been searching for. The past two months had something missing, this was that thing. I couldn't even catch my breath on top of this-

Fred stopped kissing me and pulled away.

He slapped my thighs in a sort-of friendly manner and said "Well, that was nice."

Fuck, um.

Fred picked me off him like a slug stuck to the bottom of your foot and stood up, I was frozen. He exhaled "Yeah so I guess it's getting late."

I started to laugh.

"Um, love are you okay?" He faltered.

"Yep just wondering why you stopped." I tried to sound as unbothered as possible.

"Oh, you know." Fred drawled.

"No, I don't really-"

I stood up and to face him.

"No reason it's just. I had to stop it's you-"

It's me. He stopped because... because of me. That doesn't feel good

"Oh okay." I murmured.

"Night, Benny." he

He quickly pecked a kiss on my cheek awkwardly and left the common room.

I scooped my paper into my arms slowly after he left and went back to my dorm room. I took my feet up the stairs and the rest of my body just seemed to follow along. The girls were asleep so I drew my curtains around my bed and stayed up, my thoughts keeping me painfully awake.

I remembered the night Fred asked me to be his girlfriend. I felt so much love. Now I was drowning in my own muffled grunts of anger and hot tears. Pathetic, I thought.

I remembered how I felt safe and adored that night. I felt stupid. I felt-

My curtains opened and Frankie stood above my bed with weary eyes.

"Can I come in darling?" Frankie blinked.

I lifted up my covers in silent agreement and she jumped straight in.

I was happier than ever to see her. I needed a Frankie in this situation. She laid her head against the backboard and I propped my head on her chest while she stroked my hair.

"I really like Fred," I said.

"Do you need me to yell at him? You know I'm good at that. What has he done?" Frankie's protectiveness was both a blessing and a curse. It was best to ease her into situations slowly.

"It's just that's it, Frankie. He isn't doing anything. I like him so much and I'm not sure he feels the same about me."

"What?"

"Okay let me explain every time I try to further things with him when we are like... you know.."

"Kissing." She bluntly stated.

"Yes. That." Frankie scoffed at my awkwardness diffusing the situation. "I will try to take things further and he seems to be really enjoying it, like a lot of Frankie and then, then he just stops. It happened just then so I brought it up and he said it was because of me. Like what does that even mean?"

"Oh Randy its fine, I'm sure he's just nervous." Frankie grew less tense underneath my body which was still rested on top of her.

"Tell me if I would like a total itch or not but he sure hasn't been nervous with anyone else before." I stammered.

"Oh, Randy darling." The tone in her voice felt like ultimate pity.

"I like him so much. That's the problem. What am I doing wrong? "

"Hey, you are not doing anything wrong. You are perfect. We all know Fred adores you. Let's just go to sleep we everything will be better in the morning." Frankie always says the right things.

"Thank you so much, Frankie." I squeezed her tightly while she continued to stroke my hair softly. We stayed in silence for a bit longer. It was comfortable; it always has been with Frankie. She helped me with my homesickness in my first couple of years. I can fully put all my trust in her with everything. Frankie knows how to comfort me, knows what I need at times like these.

I watched the hitch of her breath as she spoke quickly.

"Oh my god, I have the best idea."

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