(Mushroomy Kingdom theme music plays in the background)

: Welcome to 103.7, the Toad Town Radio Program, the biggest broadcast in the Mushroom Kingdom. With your host (Name Withheld)!

(Applause)

: Welcome, everyone. We've got a huge news story for you today, and it involves your favorite soccer team, the Bowser Monsters (

: Since the death of it's MVP, Bowser AKA the Koopa King, the Bowser Monsters have fared a rough season, with nine whopping losses, six of which were landslides.

: Yeah, now that Bowser's not plowin' through the field, the other teams have actually got the guts to try and steal the ball!

: Yup, and we all know how the Bowser Monsters nearly went out of commission when their goalie, Kritter, sprained his ankle last game. But there's good news! The head coach, Dry Bones, opened tryouts for the Bowser Monsters on Thunder Island last week, looking for fresh, new players to help the Monsters regain the gold.

: (snorts) Soccer tryouts on Thunder Island? That Dry Bones guy never was a smart one.

: Why do ya say that?

: Ya don't know? Thunder Island gets hit by tornadoes year round, and they've got their own personal, permanent storm system. It's been baffling meteorologists for years.

: Well, maybe Dry Bones wanted to spice up the tryouts.

: Or more likely weed the prospects down to the ones that could actually keep their feet in the middle of a tornado.

(They both snort)

: Well, the tryouts closed today, and Dry Bones should be posting the names of the new recruits right about... (Checks watch) Now. Okay, let's check ToadTube for the video. (searches ToadTube) Ah, here we go! (clicks play)

(Static on the video. Then...)

: Hey, y'all! Dry Bones here, head coach of the Bowser Monsters. First, lemme just say that we've been grateful fer all yer prayers since our MVP, Bowser, died. We've been havin' a tough time out there without 'im.

: But when the Monsters got a problem, we don't sit around and cry about it: we motivate! (c)

: I held soccer tryouts on Thunder Island this past week, and I'm proud ta say that we've got some brand new players to help us regain the ruthlessness and strength b'hind our team name!

But befer I reveal the team's new players, I wanna show ya exactly why I chose these guys - they had ta be able to do more than just dribble a soccer ball, ya know. (Motions somewhere off camera) Roll it!

: Day One

(A crowd of recruits is congretated on the soccer field on Thunder Island)

: All right, maggots! Let's start with some suicides!!

(Recruits groan)

: I don't wanna hear that! Get goin'!

(Recruits begin performing suicides. Suddenly, a tornado appears out of NOWHERE, sweeping directly into the middle of the soccer field)

: Eep! A tornado!

Stop, drop, and roll!

: That's for fires, idiot!

: (over megaphone) AIN'T NOBODY ROLLIN', AND AIN'T NOBODY RUNNIN'! FINISH THOSE SUICIDES, YOU MAGGOTS!

: What!

: But what about the tornado?

: Get goin' or yer disqualified!!

(Recruits slowly begin edging towards tornado, which sweeps them up and spins them around in the air)

: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!!!

: Any of 'em able ta keep their feet, Birdo?

: No, coach, they all went sky high.

: Weaklin's!

: Day 3

: Okay, time for sprints!

: What! But coach, my ankle's still swollen from that tornado nonsense!

: No pain, no gain, toad-y! Now get goin'! To the end of the field and back! Twenty times!

(Groaning, recruits begin mobilizing)

: They're as slow as sacks of rocks.

: I agree, coach. Why don't we speed 'em up a bit? Hee hee hee! (Motions back towards other teammates, who are gathered by two huge vats. As the recruits make it back to this end of the field, the teammates tip the vats over, spilling their contents - huge quantities of lava - onto the playing field)

: Gah! LAVA!

: What're you doin', coach?

: I'm tryin' ta get those stumpy legs o' yers movin', ya weaklin'! Maybe this'll teach ya to mobilize!

: (screaming and running from the lava) You crazy old skeleton!

: I'm suing!

Day 6

: You guys are seriously off your rockers!

: Hmph. Says the sorry recruit who can't even kick a rock into a goal net.

: I can kick a rock. This is a boulder, for Pete's sake! Nobody can kick a boulder.

: The Bowser Monsters can. (Kicks the huge rock in front of the toad. It goes sailing across the field before landing and rolling towards the goal. The other recruits scattered about the field scream and dive out of the way.)

: (sweatdrop) Uh...

: Maybe you aren't fit to join the Bowser Monsters.

(frantically) No, I am! I just... I thought I was going to a lousy old soccer tryout. Not a marine entrance exam!

: (sets another huge rock in front of the toad) Think again.

(Scowling, the toad kicks the boulder with all his might. It doesn't move an inch)

: Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Day 9

: Glad ta have ya back, Kritter.

: (balancing on a crutch) Glad to be back, coach.

: Good, cause we're gonna need ya for our next exercise.

: Uh, coach? Why are we all standing in rows like this?

: You'll see, boy. Kritter! Show 'em yer patented Gator Shoulder Bash?

: (in fear) Gator Shoulder Bash?

: With pleasure, coach.

(With a roar, he charges through the rows of recruits, knocking them over like bowling pins)

: (whistling) Nice one, Kritter!

My leg!

: My brain!

: My spine!

: Ain't no other team gonna let the likes of you lot keep the ball for long. If you ain't ready to be bashed, you ain't ready for the league! Now get up! Again, Kritter!

(Kritter does the Gator Shoulder Bash nine more times; still, only three or four recruits are able to keep their feet.)

: I'm impressed! Didn't expect for any of ya to withstand the shoulder bash!

Final Day

Welp, everybody, this is our final day of tryouts!

Where is everybody?

Hospital, I think.

Everybody's at the hospital? What for?

: Burnout, heatstroke, concussion, broken bones...need I go on?

Listen up, maggots! I'm about to announce who's gonna be on the team! (pause) Ahem. So, our newest addition to the Bowser Monsters are... you three!

(Recruits hi-five each other)

Yes! But, uh, do you mind telling us why you chose us?

Why else? 'Cause you three are the only ones still here on the Final Day of training! Bwahahaha!

: Oh.

(Clip ends)

So ya see, I didn't choose these three newest editions ta the team 'cause they could dribble and shoot the ball. I chose 'em cause they had the determination and edurance to jump through my hoops and make it ta the end of the tryouts! (pauses) Oh, and they were the only three not suing me. Hahaha!

(Video ends)(Back to the Toad Town Radio Program)

W-o-w.

So he didn't care whether or not they were good at soccer. He just wanted to see whether or not they could stand the training.

I'm almost not surprised. I've heard that the Bowser Monsters are practically religious about their training regimens. Well, congratulations to the three that passed the tryouts and got onto the Bowser Monsters! Though I wonder what kind of edition they'll make to the team.

Yeah, Dry Bones didn't exactly recruit anybody that would intimidate the other players - like Bowser did. And like I said, it was kinda that fear element that made the Monsters win so much, cause the other teams were afraid to challenge Bowser.

We'll see. Who knows? They might surprise us.

: So thanks for listening, everyone. If you're still interested in hearing how the Monsters far in the next Strikers Cup, make sure you tune in to this program, as we'll be covering the next game live and in real time. This has been 103.7, the Toad Town Radio Program.

_________________

Bet you didn't expect for me to do a part featuring Dry Bones! But he's on the book cover, and I was wondering how to incorporate him into this book, and then I remembered Mario Strikers Charged, and how he's a sidekick. So I thought, why not?

If you're disappointed that you haven't been seeing your ideas turned into story parts, fear not! I've got them all written down, and I'll try to get to as many as possible. Patience, please!