《What If Bowser Died?》If Bowser died...Yoshi would run a ranch
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: Frostwing192
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_____
(Scene: Bullet Bill Train [got that from @zoeysha], first class car #2. Captain Bro is onboard with the rest of the Koopa Kids)
(Captain Bro is sitting by the window, staring out at the passing scenery. Bowser Jr. suddenly jumps on his back)
So, Cap'n?
(tic) So what, Junior?
: So where're we goin'?
(sighing) I keep telling you, it's a surprise.
: Ugh, I hate surprises! Just tell us already!
: Yeah, the suspense is killing me!!
Sorry, guys, but you're just gonna have to wait until we get there.
(Iggy and Roy jump on either side of Captain Bro and begin poking at him)
Tell us, tell us, tell us, tell us, tell us!
Yeah, tell us, tell us, tell us, tell us!
(tic)(tic)(tic)(tic) (Smiles and reaches into his bookbag)
Oh yeah! I forgot! I brought Kool-aid! Who wants some?
MEEEEE!
(Captain Bro passes out cups. Then, grinning, he whips out a packet, labeled "knockout drops", and sprinkles a little into each cup of Kool-aid)
(Minutes later, the Koopa Kids are all snoring)
: Ha! Suckers!
_____
(later)
Wake up kids! We're almost here!
(Groaning, the Koopa Kids wake up)
What the? Why'm I wearin' a collar?
I'm wearin' one too!
Hey, look at that!
(They go to the window. The train is passing through rural country, and a huge ranch appears in the distance) (Soon, the train stops)
All right, guys! Let's go!
(They get off at the train station and hike out into a grassy field, until they reach the ranch they saw earlier. A huge sign hangs overhead)
(reading the sign) "Yoshi's Camp for Naughty L'il Young'yuns"?
: Hey, what gives, Cap'n? What is this?
: It's the surprise! You guys are going to camp!
What!
: I don't wanna. This place looks lame.
Too bad. It's already been paid for. Now get your butts moving.
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: What did we ever do to you, Captain?
(tic) You want a list? At the top was how you little headaches destroyed the sculpture of Bowser in the main courtyard last week!
: So? That thing didn't even look like dad. Not really.
Not the point. You guys need discipline, and you need some time away from the castle. So let's go.
: No way! You can't make us!
: Yeah! Come on guys, we're goin' back to the Mushroom Kingdom!
(The Koopa Kids move back towards the train station, but Captain Bro pulls a remote control out of his shell)
I don't think so. (clicks a button)
(BZZZT!!)
Ack!
Hey! This is a shock collar!
That's right, kids. And unless you want me to turn the intensity up to nine, you'd better get your butts moving!
(Grumbling, the Koopa Kids follow Captain Bro into the ranch's main house)
: (at front desk) Hey, y'all! Welcome to Yoshi's Camp for Naughty L'il Young'yuns!
: Hey, it's Yoshi.
: Yup. Condolenses and all, but since your dad died, Mario hasn't needed me for his missions, so I decided to open up a ranch! And I need farmhands, which means I need you!! You guys here to check in?
Yep. All of 'em.
: Great! Sign here, will ya?
(signs form) Anything else you need from me?
: Nope, we're good!
(Captain Bro skips out the door)
Traitor!
: Why don't you guys follow me, and we'll get ya situated!
_____
(In a barn, south of the horse corrals. Cots line either side of the wall)
: This is where you guys sleep.
: (tic) What are we, horses?
: Yeah, and it smells like horse poop. I refuse to sleep here.
: (pulls out remote control and presses a button)
(BZZZZT!)
: ACK!!
: Hey, where'd you get that?
: Never mind that. Just know that it's for your own good. Every time one of you talks back or acts bad, you all get a shock.
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: What! That ain't fair!
: (clicks button)
(BZZZZT!)
: Eep!
: Doesn't hafta be fair. I'm the adult, so you have to do as I say.
______
(In the horse corrals)
: I'll teach you how to ride, but first, you've gotta learn how to take care of the horses. (Gives Wendy a rake)
: Uh...? What's this for?
: Whaddya think? (points down at a pile of poop)
: (scowling) The poop can stay right there, thank you. It's not like moving it would make the horses smell any better anyway.
: (tic)
(BZZZT!!)
: Owch!
: Just do it, Wendy! Before he buzzes us again!
: Why don't one of you- (BZZZT!!) Okay, okay, I'll do it! Enough with the buzzing!
: That's what I thought. (Smiles as the Koopa Kids set to work shoveling out the horse poop). Keep this up, and I might let you feed the chickens.
_____
(by the pig pens)
: All right! Time to feed the piggies!
: Uh, speakin' of food, when do we get to eat?
: When you finish your chores.
: How many more chores do we have to do?
: I'll give you all each a copy of the list tomorrow.
List?!
: That's right, there's a whole list. Now here. (Hands Iggy a bucket of slops) Throw that in the trough.
: (thinks about throwing it in Yoshi's face but decides not to; drops the slops in the trough)
_____
(much later that night)
: All right, fine work today, everyone! Now all you have to do is sweep the patio and you can go to bed.
: (practically asleep on his feet) What? I thought you said we were done.
: I lied. I do that from time to time.
: Why you- (Lifts broom above his head)
(BZZZT!) (BZZZT!!) (BZZZZZZTT!!)
: I was joking. JOKING!!
: I should hope so. Now get to work!
(Koopa Kids sweep off the patio and then move back out to the barn, where they collapse into bed)
: Muscles...aching...
: Stomach...growling...
: Hair...burning...
: What hair? You don't have any hair, Roy.
: Oh yeah.
: Ugh, was Yoshi tryin'ta kill us today or what?
: Don't worry. We won't be here for long... Right?
: (knocks on barn door and comes in) Oh, I forgot. A little present. (Sits an alarm clock down on a nearby table) It's pre-set for 5:30.
Five-thirty?!
: Yep, that's when things start rollin' round here. So I expect to see your smiling faces up and ready in the main house by 6:30. If not...
(BZZZT!)
: Hey! We didn't even do anything that time!
: Couldn't help myself. Don't worry, I'll take it easy on the buzzing for the rest of the year.
: The rest of the year?
: Yep. That's how long Mr. Bro signed you up for. (Skips out of the barn) Remember! Five-thirty!
(silence)
: Grrr. Captain Bro's gonna pay for this when we get back.
: If we get back. We should be focusing on stayin' alive for the next year!
_____
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