《What If Bowser Died?》If Bowser died...the Princesses would go on vacation
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(scene: Delfino Isle; downtown shopping boutique)
: (holds up a yellow sundress) Ugh! I love Delfino Isle and all...but would it kill them to build an actual mall?
: On the contrary...I like how quiet it is here. It's so peaceful on this island.
: Hmph, you would say that, Miss Sheltered. You live in a space station after all.
: Hey Daisy! I think you'd look fabulous in this! (holds up an orange-polka-dotted white skirt)
: (holds it to her hips) Huh, you think so?
: Hmm, yes. Perhaps with a plain white blouse.
: (picks one out) How about this?
: (sweat drop) Uh, sure, if you can stand the frills.
(Girls purchase their items and exit the boutique)
: Wow, we only spent 30 coins between us.
: And you wish they had a mall!
: I kinda still do. At least a mall, they'd have a decent shoe selection. (stretches) Okay, shopping...done! Let's get this stuff back to the lodge, and then we can go out for ice cream!
: Oh yay! I hear there's a little shop on the southern beach that serves superb waffle cones!
: Um, girls? What about the game?
: (glancing over her shoulder) Game? What game?
: (exasperated) The game your boyfriend happens to be playing at?
: (turns steam-engine red) Waluigi is not my boyfriend!
: Of course he isn't. You guys've been dating for how many weeks now?
: Outings! They're called outings! Friendly outings!
: Why are you denying it so much? The Net has been exploding with pictures that Waluigi's been uploading about you and your "friendly outings".
: That's his fault.
: So you're saying that you two aren't really going out?
: (blushes) Well, uh... (silent for a moment) I-I don't really know.
: Do you like him?
: Excuse me?
: Do you like Waluigi, Daisy?
: H-how can you be so...crude about this?
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: Just answer the question, darling.
: U-uh, w-well... I think h-he's funny...and s-smart...and nice now that Bowser's gone, and uh...
: So you do like him!
: I didn't say that!!
: Hmm...I know what this is.
: (exasperated) Enlighten me.
: It's Luigi, isn't it?
: (incredulous) Luigi? What's Luigi got to do with it?
: You've still got lingering feelings over Luigi.
: What! Look, I like Luigi, yes, and at one point maybe I wanted to date him, but... (looks at her feet)
: I get it. Waluigi came along and you threw yourself at him and now you're guilty about leaving Luigi in the dust and-
: Ugh, no that's not it! It's just... (sighs) Look, I'm...I'm a tomboy, okay?
: And?
: And...I like having friends. Not boyfriends. I don't know how to...you know, get serious. Act like a girlfriend. Get into a successful relationship. So even though I like Luigi and Waluigi...all I can give them is friendship. Get it?
: Yes.
: (tic) Actually, I don't think you do. Just forget it, okay? Let's get back to the stupid lodge. (Storms off)
: Stars. I didn't mean to upset her like that.
: Me neither. But I guess I kind of get it. Turning Tomboy Daisy into Girlfriend Daisy would be a major lifestyle change.
: So even though Waluigi's been buying her gifts and taking her to movies and concerts and even to his super-important tennis tournament here on Delfino Isle...she can't really give him what he's looking for.
: Poor guy.
: I wish that Pauline were here.
: (tic) Do you? Why?
: I'm not trying to start a fight, Peach. I'm just saying that she'd probably know exactly what to say to make Daisy feel better about the whole situation.
: Of course she would. Pauline always knew exactly what to say. Especially to Mario.
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: (exasperated) When are you going to get over that?
: Probably never!
: This is why I'm glad I don't have a boyfriend: I don't get the opportunity to get jealous over their exes.
: Jealous! Who's jealous?!
: Who indeed... (cell phone buzzes) Who's this? Oh my, speak of the devil: it's Pauline.
: (flips her hair) Well, make sure you tell her that we're here having a grand ol' time on Delfino Isle, and that she can take Mario back, if she wants him: along with all of his overdue rent, mortgage payments, and credit card debt. (Stomps off after Daisy)
: Mario's in that much debt? My, my...I suppose he'll be following his brother and coming to therapy. (accepts call) Hello? Pauline?
: (static) R-Rosalina?
: Yes, it's me, darling. What can I do for you?
: I-Is D-Daisy there?
: (frowning) Yes, but she's...unavailable at the moment. (pause) Are you all right? You sound upset.
: S-she says s-she's not there.
: What? Pauline, who are you talking to? (click; Rosalina stares at phone) Pauline? What- Pauline?
_____
(later at lodge)(Waluigi and Daisy are sitting on the patio)
: What's da big idea, anyway? I thoughts you was gonna stay for the whole tournament!
: (chopping open a watermelon) We stayed for, like, four matches!
: Two! Ya stayed fer two! Ya totally missed the part where I tore up that stinkin' Yoshi!
: Sorry, Waluigi, but tennis...it just gets so repetitive. (hands him a piece)
: Repetitive! Why I never!
: Well, even if we weren't there...it looks like you did well, Waluigi! What's that medal for?
: (smugly) Third place, darlin'.
: Wow! Nice! (Hi-fives him)
: All in a day's work.
(Peach goes into kitchen, where Rosalina's supposed to be fixing the pineapple smoothies; she's staring at her phone instead)
: What's the matter, Rosalina? Call from work?
: No, I... (frowns deeply) I just...that call I got from Pauline earlier.
: (smiling)(tic)(tic)(tic) What about it?
: Ugh, forget it.
: (dusts the tic marks off her head) Okay, I'll stop. For real: what about it?
: Hmph, well, she sounded...upset. Like she'd been crying. And it sounded like she was talking to someone in the background. Someone who wanted to speak to Daisy.
: (pops into kitchen, nomming on watermelon) Who wants to talk to me?
: Well...Pauline, I guess. Earlier.
: What about?
: I don't know- she hung up on me when I told her you weren't available.
: Sow.
: Peach! (grabs Rosalina's phone) I'll call her back, see what's up.
(phone picks up a second later)
: (shakily) H-h-h-hello?
: (sets down watermelon) Holy crap, cowgirl! What's wrong? You sound like you're about to break down!
: I-I-it's her.
: (sharply) Yes, it's me. Who is it that wants to talk to me?
: H-h-he says... H-h-he says...
: (goes pale) Pauline? Has someone kidnapped you?
: What?
: (pops into kitchen) What's this about a kidnappin'?
(Daisy puts phone on speaker)
: H-h-he says...to meet him...in Coconut Mall...I-I-in three days. F-f-for n-negotiations. O-or else...h-he'll f-f-feed me to the f-f-fish.
: Pauline? I want you to relax. Nothin's gonna happen to you, okay? I swear it. Can you give me a hint about who it is that's kidnapped you?
: H-he says... H-he says you get one hint. T-t-the King...in Green.
(click)
: "The King in Green"? What the heck kind of hint was that?
: Enough with the spite, Peach. (suddenly gasps) Stars, I don't know why, but I've suddenly got an inkling about who this "king in green" might be...
: Whoever it is, somethin' musta happened in the Mushroom Kingdom while we were here gettin' tans. We gotta get back there, pronto.
: Let's go!
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