(scene: Yoshi's ranch; nighttime)

(Bowser Jr.'s running across the field back towards the barn, clutching something in his hand)

(The rest of the Koopa Kids wake up when BJ comes in, sweating and panting)

Ugh...BJ? What are you doing?

Shouldn't ya be sleepin'? Yoshi says we've gotta get up at 5:00 am tomorrow...

No we don't. We don't gotta get up early ever again.

What? How? Why?

(BJ waves object in his hand)

Hold on a sec...ain't that...the remote control to our shock collars?

Yep!

How did you get that? Yoshi guards that thing like a dog his bone!

Is that what you were doin' out there? Sneaking around the house for that thing?

Yup! Waited for him ta go ta sleep, and I slipped it right out from under his nose! And now that green dino ain't gonna shock us ever again! He cain't control us no more! We can blow this joint!

B-but... (points to his shock collar)

Quit worryin', Iggy! I told ya, without this, he cain't shock us no more! (waves remote control) Now get yer stuff! Let's get outta here!

Is it just me, or does this seem too good to be true?

___

(outside)

(Koopa Kids sneak across the field and around the ranch house)

Okay, guys! We just gotta get past the front fence, and then we can steal that old car he's got sitting out front by the mailbox!

Wait, steal a car? Um...none of us know how to drive.

How hard can it be? Anyway, he leaves the keys in the ignition.

How do you know that?

Remember when he made us work at that stupid farmer's market down the road last month? Whenever we got home, I noticed he always left the keys in the car. Don't nobody want that old jalopy, keys or not, I guess.

Just how long have you been plannin' this, Junior?

Since I stepped foot on this crummy farm, that's how long! Now shut it, and let's go!

(The Koopa Kids sneak forward, towards the big sign that says "Yoshi's Ranch for Naughty L'il Young'yuns". They pass under the sign and...)

(BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!)

*shriek*

What in tarnation? I thought these wouldn't work since we've got the remote control!

They ain't! (Shakes remote) I dunno why we got buzzed! Maybe it ain't workin'? (Remote is clearly in the OFF position)

(Sound of a shotgun suddenly fills the air)

EEEEEEEKKKKK!

What's goin' on? Was that a gun-

(Another gunshot. Koopa Kids all drop to their knees and put their hands on their heads [without being told!])

Please don't hurt us! We're enslaved by this crazy Yoshi and we were just trying to escape and go home and-

(Yoshi appears out of the darkness, wielding a shotgun)

Oh crap.

So. It was you I heard out here screamin' to high heaven.

Dude! What's with the shotgun?

Hey, you'd be surprised at the types skulking around here, trying to steal my horses. Now explain yourselves. Why're ya out here in the middle of the night, sneakin' around, trying to escape?

You explain, ya creep! How come we got shocked when I stole your remote control? (waves control in Yoshi's face)

Shut up, ya dummy!

So, stealing my stuff, eh? (snatches control) Well, if you must know, besides this control, I also installed an electric fence around the entire property. (points to the ranch sign, where the fence begins) And since I hold the key that unlocks your collars, you can't escape, even if you were to steal the control.

(clods BJ on the head) Why couldn't ya steal the key instead o' the remote control?!

Now get back to bed, kids, before I decide to play with the settings on this remote!

(scowl and trudge back to the barn)

(rubbing his jaw) I'm gonna have to think of a good punishment for this little rebellion.

___

(the next day)

(Yoshi and the Koopa Kids are in Yoshi's old car, bumping along into town)

Yoshi? Are you finally gonna tell us where the heck we're goin'?

It's a supriiiiiiiise.

Are we gonna be gettin' to this 'surprise' anytime soon? We've been driving for an hour!

And I gotta pee!

Ah, here we are!

(They turn into a parking lot in front of a stone brick building with a huge pink sign)

Uh, does that say what I think it says?

'L'il Angels'? What does that mean? Why's this place called L'il Angels? It sounds like...

(choking) A daycare. (leans into the front seat) This is a daycare, isn't it? You're dumpin' us at daycare so you can go back to your dumb horses!

(parks) Close, but no banana. Let's go guys.

(not moving)

(flicks on shock collar remote) Now!

___

(inside 'L'il Angels')

Yoshi! Thanks for coming!

Hey, Toadanna. They all set up in the practice room?

Yes, they're all excited and waiting for you. (smiles at Koopa Kids) And are these the assistants you were talking about?

Assistants? (pokes Yoshi) What's she talkin' about?

(grinning) Oh, you'll see! (waves as they go past) Have a good time!

Um, Yoshi? Can you please tell us what's going on?

(grins sneakily) You'll see.

(they walk down the hall and to the door at the end)

(ominously) Kids. Welcome...(pushes open door)...to dance class.

(the Koopa Kids walk into a room filled top to bottom with waiting toddlers. The kiddies all beam and cheer when Yoshi enters the room)

(bowing) Thank you for waiting, ladies and gents. Who's ready for some serious grooving? (kiddies scream)

W-what the heck is with all these kids?

Guys, I want you to meet my friends! (Gestures to Koopa Kids) They're gonna be playing with us today! (kiddies cheer)

(grabs Yoshi) Yoshi! TELL US WHAT'S GOING ON. NOW!

(glares at Bowser Jr.) Uh, kids? Gimme a minute, okay? (Gestures to Koopa Kids, and the follow him outside) Okay, BJ, first off, that death grip? Not cool. First rule of thumb when dealing with kids: no violence. Got it?

Why da heck are we dealing with kids? What the heck is-

-going on? Interesting question, Runaway Rugrats.

Runaway...? (rolls up his sleeve) Why I oughta...! (doesn't get it)

(gets it) Are you saying that this is some kinda payback for us trying to escape yesterday?

Bingo was his name-o. I volunteer at this joint, the L'il Angels Juvenile Dance Studio, once a month when I've got the time. So I decided to sign you guys up to help me out today.

I'd rather deal with the stinky horses than a bunch of snot-nosed little brats!

Hear hear!

(The cry of a child comes from inside)

It's either this or pooper-scooping duty again. The corrals and the fields. From what I remember, you guys didn't much like doing that last month.

(remember raking up big piles of brown for hours and hours and being unable to get the stench off, despite multiple baths)

(waves shock collar remote) Need some help deciding?

Okay, okay, we'll do it! Just put that stupid thing away!

Excellent. Come on now, the kiddies are waiting for us! (moves into the dance room)

I'm reportin' this stupid dinosaur when we get back to the Koopa Kingdom!

I'm just glad we won't be dealing with poop. (Koopa Kids go into dance room)

Okay, kids! Who's ready to groove with me?! (Kids cheer)

Um, Mr. Yoshee?

Yes, Timmy?

I made doodies. (Points down to his soiled diaper)

Oh my, Timmy! Well, that's what our friends are here for! (turns) Larry, will you please change little Timmy? There are diapers in the closet.

Looks like I spoke too soon.

___

(One round of the Macarena and the Electric Slide later)

(Current lesson: ballet)

Okay, kids. See these different ballet positions the Koopa Kids are standing in? Let's practice these for a bit more before your parents arrive.

(sweating profusely) Uh, Yoshi? Can I stop, please? (He's standing in fifth position, with his feet twisted about rather painfully. The rest of the Koopa Kids are also standing in awkward ballet positions)

Not yet. The kids need a good example to copy. Don't worry, the parents will be here in fifteen minutes.

(choking) Fifteen minutes?! You expect me to stand like this for fifteen minutes?! (she's holding one of her feet up by her hand and is standing on her toes)

Come on, it can't be that bad! Just think: instead of raking up horse poop in the hot sun, all you're doing is standing on display! (suddenly glares at Ludwig) Ludwig! That's not low enough! You need to be lower!

(doing a painful split) I can't go any lower...

I'll help him!

Me too!

(They grab Ludwig and shove him downward)

SHRIIIEEEKKKK!

Bwahaha! I-I mean, stop that, kids! That's not nice! You're supposed to be copying them, not bothering them!

(sidles up to BJ, who's standing painfully on his toes, with his feet arched) Tickle, tickle!

S-stop that!

Tickle, tickle, tickle!

Gahh! (falls over)

Get up, ya dummy! Befer Yoshi-

(BZZZT!)

Gack!

Up, Junior! You've still got ten minutes of standing left!

(furious) You know what, Yoshi? I've had it up to here with you and your- (BZZZT!) Ugh, okay, okay! (goes back to original position)

(still pushing on Ludwig) Down, down, down!!

(by Roy) Poke, poke, poke!

Yoshi! Get these brats off of us!

Sorry, guys. Can't touch the kids. Liability, and all of that.

What?! You lying little- (BZZZT) Ugh, I give up!

___

(later)

So how did class go today, Yoshi?

The kids had a lot of fun! These guys were a lot of help. (Jabs thumb towards Koopa Kids, who look ticked and exhausted)

That's great! Maybe you'd like to sign them up again?

NO! (Toadanna is surprised)

I mean, uh...we'll be too busy with farm work.

Way busy.

With no down time.

Yeah, sorry.

That's a shame. Are you sure? The kids will probably miss you...

We're sure.

Yes, I think they'll be too busy acting little good little farmhands to assist, Toadnanna...

--

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