《The Brains of the Operation》Cluedo: The Motion Picture
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Clive ran out the car and to the door with immense speed, which one can usually only obtain with far too much practise and the fear of being burned alive. Look, what I'm trying to say, is that he was running really fast. Sonic fast.
"It won't-" he wrenched the doorknob- "oh, whatever," he murmured, as his foot went through the wooden door. Liv just stood and gaped in amazement: sometimes she forgot just how badass Clive could be.
She shook her head like a dog and ran after him, and as she did, she was sure she saw a giant man flying through the house like a hurricane and then rocketing out the backdoor. Part of her felt the need to follow him, but she hesitated. The woman who had screamed needed her. But she had Clive! After a pause riddled with conflicting thoughts, she turned towards the living room.
"Liv, you know first aid?" shouted Clive rather unnecessarily. After all, Liv was right behind him.
Liv took the reins. "Of course, I was a cardiologist."
She studied the wounds. "It's okay. You're gonna Liv.* Just prop yourself up ever so slightly..."
As Liv helped the woman on the floor, Clive searched for Hercules™, but to no avail. It was clear the giant man had escaped through the back door, though. Wow, Clive! No way! What was your first clue? Was it the huge, man-sized hole in the wall where someone clearly jumped through it?** Or was it the, frankly Godzilla-sized, muddy footprints leading to the back door? Hey, Clive, you're the detective. Detect which way he went.
"He came at me... with a... candlestick?"
"Good thing we got here ma'am, or he'd have beaten your-" [Here we go} "-Lights out."
Maria looked both disgusted and amused.
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"You're Maria?"
She nodded her blonde head. "Maria Black. Miss Hope's maid."
Liv hummed to herself, "Mr White, with the candlestick in the living room."
Clive turned to her and raised his eyebrows. "I said quirky."
"At least it's not the lead piping," joked Liv, shrugging, "You don't have a billiard room, do you?"
"You're joking." Ravi stared at Liv in disbelief. "A giant, pale white man tries to commit murder with a candlestick in the living room, a crime that follows a murder with a corkscrew and a murder where the person died by being suffocated with cash. I mean, I love jokes, but this is a bad one."
"These guys really have a sense of humour, huh."
"Can you get Jimmy to the ER? We need to talk to Maria and get a sketch of the big guy."
"Yeah, she's in ward fourteen of the Virginia Mason Hospital and Seattle Medical Centre***."
Liv made a face and shrugged. "Let's go!"
Ravi gave her a look. "Are you kidding? It's 8pm!"
Clive sighed, making an effort to form a compromise.
"Tomorrow. If I remember right, it opens 8:00am - let's go then and bring Jimmy."
Liv and Ravi looked at each other an nodded. "Great."
The morning broke with several beeps from Liv's alarm, but Liv didn't hear it. Rather, she was in the Seattle Medical Centre already, instead of at home, in her bed.
Maria Black was shaking violently, her dark hair vibrating over her shoulders like a child in winter. Next to her was the giant man, hands shackled, hairless head shining in the weak sunlight.
Liv tiredly rubbed her eyes. "You have... the right... to remain silent.... blah blah blah."
Nurse DenaÏ Eath waddled in the room awkwardly. "Thank you for coming, officers," she mumbled, in a strong cockney accent.
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Liv's jaw dropped in awe. This tiny woman wrestled that giant man to the floor, tied him up with a scarf and managed to keep him subdued long enough to call the cops? What kind of titan was she?
"If you don't mind me inquiring..." started Liv, the brain's affect finally wearing off, "May I ask... how you did it?"
Nurse Eath stared up at the ghost white girl and smiled innocently, triggering far too many impossible thoughts in Liv's head. Perhaps she was a shapeshifter! Or a vampire! Or a shapeshifter vampire! Or-
Shut up, Liv's brain.
Her brain was thinking to itself. Christ, she needed sleep.
"I'm a nurse, Ma'am. And a black belt in both karate and taekwondo. I can knock you out in 40 different ways while putting on fake lashes," she winked.
And in that moment, Liv knew true fear.
Champ Biches's sunken eyes loomed over the confession papers as he contemplated the multiple years in prison that were to come. After murdering Jade Hope and Jarod Cheng for the Black Angels, and probably committing countless drug-related crimes, it was almost unavoidable - and Champ knew that.
How did I end up here? he thought to himself. It's almost like... like I knew. I should've known they weren't worth it.
Somehow Liv knew what was going on in the criminal's head, but couldn't find it in herself to sympathise. As she watched the, frankly gargantuan, man sign his name, something in her fet pity. A stupid fool put away for doing what he was told. It was almost pitiful.
Almost.
*hahaha.
** How strong do you have to be to jump through a wall? Wow.
***You can tell I don't live in the US, can't you? Yeah, I live the other side of the Atlantic. I'll just pretend I know what I'm talking about.
I understand that, in hindsight, the brain is constantly thinking to itself. Great job, S.
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