my mother's embrace is all i want

all i long for

two arms that tell me everything will be alright

a warmth that protects me from the cold harsh winds of the world around me

i want to hear her voice tell me it's okay

tell me that she loves me and that i'm

going to be alright

that the world is not collapsing in on me

but i'm frozen

silenced

i go to her and my mouth won't open

she will never understand

the world has instilled in me

a fear of my true self

i cannot yet tell her

that i'm not like her

when my brother was heartbroken

crying in bed over a girl

she could comfort him and hold him

tell him everything would be okay

but i cry alone

trying to be as quiet as possible

because i'm a girl

who likes a girl

and the world has told me that's not okay

i know she wouldn't care

i know she would accept me

but if i tell her, then things become real

and i'm not ready to accept reality