𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚔𝚎 𝚞𝚙 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍.

𝚈𝚘𝚞'𝚕𝚕 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝙸 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞,

𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚍.

𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚖𝚎 "𝙳𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚞𝚙.

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚍𝚘 𝚒𝚝 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚋𝚢 𝚍𝚊𝚢."

𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚜, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢.

𝚂𝚘 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚢𝚘𝚞,

𝙳𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝,

𝙷𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚎,

𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚘𝚏 𝚞𝚜.

Come Monday, it was the second of the month and Lennon saw a lot of Jason, Rebecca, and Chrissy in the halls. It wasn't by choice, but she chose to become this person and the person she was becoming would normally walk the halls with them, so she couldn't complain.

People were talking a lot to her. People were talking a lot about her.

She felt on edge the entire time she walked the halls to first period because all anyone wanted to do was ask questions about her and Billy. She acted shy, not knowing how to approach the situation exactly since she didn't know where Billy was with the kiss. She didn't know if he understood that she just needed him to do her favor or if he thought what that was meant something deeper.

She didn't want to seem like a floozy or make Billy uncomfortable so she replied as vaguely as she could. She caught a break after second period.

During class, Lennon spent a lot of time with Nancy to get through the day. If there was anybody she could poke her head out of her shell around at school, it was Nancy. She was one of the only people who she felt like she'd be accepted by.

They talked a lot about journalism and crime excerpts from the Hawkins paper. As much as Lennon wanted to say something about the topic hitting a little too close to home, she refrained. There was a look in Nancy's dazzling blue eyes that made up for her discomfort. She was passionate about the topic and Lennon didn't feel obligated to put her comfort above Nancy's.

But because Lennon had been put through the legal system, she knew how to talk about it with Nancy and she seemed to be thankful for that. None of her friends ever cared to hear about the intricacies of the crime side of journalism so she let Lennon know how appreciative she was for the refreshing conversation.

That lasted until lunch when they went their separate ways. Nancy went off with Jonathan, claiming there was an afterschool project she wanted to discuss with him in the developing room, and Lennon went to the gym with the rest of the basketball and cheer team.

She arrived a little earlier than most of the team. She wanted to sit against the wall and wait alone but she knew better. So, she went over to Heather, hoping to talk about the game but it ended up being an evaluation of her and Billy.

She got overly excited about the subject but Lennon left wishing she had done something else to have seen Eddie over the break. Billy was the only way but he also brought along a lot of drama too.

"Everyone saw what you two were doing on Friday..."

"Okay..." she quickly corrected Heather. "That... That wasn't what people think it was, alright?" she giggled nervously, rolling her eyes and seeing Tina make her way towards them.

"So we all just imagined you and Billy having a full-blown makeout session?"

"No," she sighed, noticing how Tina joined them reluctantly with an uncomfortable look of apprehension on her face. "That was... not planned. Like, at all," she promised, knowing the brunette that sidled up beside Heather had a huge crush on the guy. "He's still on the market, trust me. I wouldn't tread on anybody's territory like that."

"I think you should tell him that," Tina chimed in disapprovingly, crossing her arms over her chest and diverting her gaze towards the door as Lucus, Steve, Jason, and a few other members of the team entered the gym.

"What do you mean?" Lennon wondered.

She followed Tina's line of sight and caught Lucus staring at her darkly. It was odd. The boy didn't seem to have a problem with her all the times she had seen him but it was almost a dirty look that he gave her now.

Did she do something wrong to upset him? He was friends with Steve, Dustin, and Brontë, why was he acting like he had a bone to pick with her?

Tina gave out a little chuckle which pulled Lennon's attention away from the freshman.

"Of what little people actually see of him," Tina explained with a tinge of jealousy radiating from her tone. "He's talking about you like you're some trophy he's just won."

Lennon furrowed her brows and scanned the gym for the man of the hour. He was nowhere to be seen. She didn't know what Tina was saying but it didn't sound like something Billy would've done. He hated school and he hated everyone in it. Why would he want to parade her around? Surely their opinion wouldn't matter to him and her being on his arm wouldn't change that.

"Ignoring that very objectifying insinuation," Lennon widened her eyes and brushed off the insult. "We..." she contemplated her next words.

As manipulative as it sounded, being seen with Billy was boosting her popularity. And he didn't seem to mind it either if what Tina said was true. But she didn't want to lie. Her feelings for him were nonexistent. There was nothing more than mystery and flirtatious yearning between them. She didn't want a relationship with him. She often thought about something else in her spare time...

"Billy was doing me a favor and we were just being friendly until..."

"You don't have to downplay it, Lenny," Heather added. "It's Billy Hargrove," she snickered, making Lennon feel worse about what she did when it was Tina who put in the effort to get his attention.

"I'm not," she admitted. "We were just talking and..."

She knew if she admitted to kissing Billy because she needed a reason to go out with someone else, these girls were bound to gossip. They wouldn't leave her alone until she told them who it was and she didn't need that. She didn't trust anybody at that school, especially those on the team.

"Look," she sighed, setting the record straight that she owed him a favor and that they were just friends. By then, the coach had joined them and the whole cheer squad was gathered on one side with only Chrissy to be beside her boyfriend on the other side of the half-court.

"Are we missing anybody?" the coach called out curiously as soon as she stepped inside, casting her gaze out amongst all the students in front of her with a clipboard and a pencil at hand.

"Who do you think?" Steve called out with annoyance, earning a few giggles from his teammates before the coach quickly hushed them.

"Where's Hargrove?" Coach jutted her hip out impatiently as she asked around.

"Here, Coach Lovelace..." Billy walked in just as people were beginning to get tired of his 'too cool for school' persona. He was leisurely walking up to her with a smirk on his face, adjusting a toothpick he had pressed between his lips and casually shoving his hands into his denim jacket.

Coach wasted no time addressing the basketball team first. Their coach would be out during the big game but she said that they were already prepared and as long as they followed the plays they were working on, they would be fine.

The boys disagreed harmoniously but Coach promised she'd be with them for support and motivation. That lead her to address her team. Since she had to be the basketball coach, the girls would need to behave themselves and follow the routine on their own during the game. She could coach both teams in the meantime since their schedules didn't line up, but she wouldn't be there for guidance when she was shouting at the boys to focus on their game.

"And what do we do about Kaitlyn?" Tina asked.

"Just," Coach paused as she gathered her thoughts, obviously feeling overwhelmed with the amount of work she was having to put in now that the other coach was with his daughter while at the hospital.

"I wanna ask you all who you think is nimble and flexible enough to take Kaitlyn's place before I put my two cents into it," she dropped her clipboard to her hip and let her eyes scan the girl's faces for a response.

They were looking amongst themselves curiously.

There would be three clusters of girls during the flyers routine. Three legs and a flyer were the most important in succeeding in the performance, but they had a girl doing the floor routine on the outside of the tower routine.

One of the floor girls could take the place of the base cheerleader that spent the most time running over the routine and the other one would be benched.

The only question was: Who was going to step up and physically do the new routine?

"New girl!" someone shouted.

"Lennon's the quickest at learning the steps," another girl added.

"The Beatles babe!"

"I don't know... those legs might be a little too distracting up in the air. Don't you think?" Tina grew bitter.

Lennon turned to her sympathetically, truly not meaning to hurt her in any way. If she could take it back, she would've approached him differently so people weren't as accusatory as they were now. She would've laid it out flat so there was no room for people to gossip but it was too late.

"Why can't Rebecca do it?" Lennon asked but the coach was smiling and in an instant, Lennon knew there was no way out of it.

It could only be her. The whole team would be counting on her and because she did know the routine, logically, it made sense. She just did not want all that attention on her. Even if Chrissy was in the middle, being up in the air was daunting and terrifying to even think about.

They had all practiced on each other a few times just so they could back each other up in case something like this happened, but nobody ever thought it would actually happen. And now that it was, Lennon was reconsidering all her life choices.

She was going to hate this challenge. She just prayed she didn't make a fool of herself and let the entire team down because she couldn't pull herself together. She needed to be perfect. She needed to do this; for them.

When the meeting was over and the cheer team was told to meet back on Tuesday to practice with Lennon as the flyer, they were dismissed.

Lennon got away from everyone afterward. She didn't run away but she didn't stay back and chat with the team either. She just wanted to take the attention away despite the game not even starting. Everybody had her on their minds now. All the girls were worrying and wondering and some were even jealous. But Lennon couldn't think straight. She wanted to hide and never show her face again just so she wouldn't have to perform in front of all those people.

But that wasn't who she was anymore. This person who hid in the bathroom to eat lunch or sit in the back of every class to escape attention wasn't who she wanted to be anymore; that wasn't someone she could be anymore. It wasn't an option.

If she was going to get her freedom back from all the trauma and anxiety her father's trial put her through, this was the person she needed to become.

She needed to be friends with all the girls and connect with them if they were to do anything productive together. That meant making it right with Tina.

She needed to explain herself to Max too. She kept looking for the little red-headed girl in the halls but she was nowhere to be found and when she entered the cafeteria, she wasn't there either. She felt like she was avoiding her and if Tina was right about Billy telling people about them being... more than friends... Max was sure to know too.

She needed to ace all her exams and be on her A-game. She needed to be social, she needed to act like she was happy to be there, she needed to talk to people, she needed to pretend to care about the things everyone else cared about, she needed to be perfect...

The only way she was going to get out of high school alive was if she was perfect. And doing all the things that scared her and made her uncomfortable was the only way to be perfect. Putting herself out there, doing things that needed to be done despite her reluctance, was what was going to get her through this all.

All the pain, all the grief, all the fear, all the distrust, and all the paranoia would all go away if she did this. If she was perfect, there would be no time to feel the pain she was trying to run from.

So, instead of running, she stopped. Instead of running, she was going to leave her mark on the name Seagrave not only for Brontë but for herself, as proof that her survival meant something. That her being the only one still alive and out in the world didn't account for nothing. That her mom and brother didn't die in vain. Because living didn't mean isolation and hiding out of fear.

She wasn't going to sit alone with her head in the clouds and her ears in a pair of headphones while the world went around. She was going to live life to its fullest. Not for herself, but for Rion; for her little brother that wouldn't get the opportunity to grow up and see the world for himself.

She was going to live this life for the two of them. She was going to live life for him.