𝙸 𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗

𝚂𝚑𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕𝚜

𝙽𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛.

𝚆𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚜

𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝙸'𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜.

𝙳𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛.

𝙷𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚗.

𝙸'𝚖 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜

𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕

𝙳𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚛𝚝.

𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕

𝙳𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝.

𝙱𝚎𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚕.

𝙸'𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚕'𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚎.

Come Tuesday, Lennon relied on CBD to get her through the next four days. She and the three bases stayed after school and they spent lunch practicing with Lennon as the flyer.

Rebecca and Greta didn't have much to learn but both Lennon and the new base cheerleader, Lauren, needed to learn the new routine.

Everyone was surprisingly supportive of each other and without guidance from their coach, they relied on one another for support.

Lennon helped Lauren as best she could and even though Rebecca and Greta weren't obligated to show up to help, they did nonetheless. Even though they had the routine down and every minute spent with them was taken away from hanging out with their friends, they didn't complain too often.

By the end of Friday, Lennon was exhausted. Balance was not something she was used to and having to stand on people's hands and shoulders was not an easy adjustment to make on such short notice.

She didn't see Steve in the halls anymore, she walked alone from class to class to take finals, and the time she did have to herself was spent practicing for the winter game which felt like torture. If she had known signing up for the stupid sport was going to be this tedious and demanding, she might have reconsidered.

She was chewing on gummies between classes and the number of lunches she was skipping out on because of the stress would've been concerning if she had time to worry. Since Monday, she couldn't remember if she had lunch or breakfast. The only reason she remembered dinner was that Brontë made sure she ate something before going on runs or in the garage to do the routine under the warmth of an electric heater.

Then she started to wonder if she lost weight meant lifting her would be easier. After all, Chrissy was only five foot three and even the other flyer, Betty, was thin and shorter than Lennon. Both of them weighed less than her and she started to think that the lack of meals would do her good.

Just a thought...

Just a thought that shouldn't even have crossed her mind. Just a thought that could begin a cycle that was nearly impossible to terminate once begun.

She was dripping in sweat after practice. The girls she worked with stayed after the boys practice to help with learning the new routine and she was tired afterward. With what she did on Tuesday on top of the regular practice, and the girls supportive hour-long procedure, she deserved a nice a weekend.

The girls were taking showers before leaving but Lennon called Brontë by the end of it hoping he'd be able to come and get her before he started his shift. However, she didn't get so lucky and she knew she was screwed.

"Brontë, please?" she begged on the other end of the phone.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, speaking quickly. "It's my fault, I know, but I can't or I'll lose my job. I'm so sorry, Len..."

"What do you mean it's your fault?" she wondered.

"I waslatetomylasttwoshifts... I got caught up. I need to go. I'mreallysorryLenny. I love you," he quickly uttered a few incoherent sentences on the other end before he abruptly hung up on her.

"Wait-"

But the line had ended and she was deserted in the cold, drenched in sweat, with no way home.

She sighed and turned on her heels after hanging the phone up.

She pressed her back to the wall beside the phone to collect her thoughts. But instead of wondering how she was going to get home, she was overtaken by a sense of reminiscence from when she and Eddie first met.

He stood with his arm against the corner, looking at her and making fun of her in the place she was standing now. She remembered that smile and that bipolar personality of his like it was as easy to recall as her name. She closed her eyes and saw those big brown eyes against the backs of her eyelids and she couldn't help but smile warmly at the thought.

This man was no good for her and she knew it. He was always hanging in the back of her mind. It didn't matter where she was or how she was feeling, he was always there in some way. Sometimes in the form of a bystander, watching as her thoughts clouded her thinking, and sometimes he was the source of her thoughts entirely. But one thing was for sure, he was always there.

She stood there, trying to remember the feeling of his hands on her back and neck. She tried remembering the way he tasted and how his breath felt against her cheek. She tried remembering the little things he muttered under his breath and the way his torso was sculped under the dampness of a fresh shower. She tried to recall all his rings and tattoos but as the weather got nippier, the sweat clinging to her skin and hair started to get frosty and painfully cold.

She opened her eyes and immediately felt her muscles tense.

Instead of finding herself surrounded by a field of nothingness and an empty parking lot, someone was standing across from her with their weight pressed to the pillar close by.

"Fuck!" she cursed, flinching and pressing her hand to her chest for comfort.

The man giggled and shifted his weight from the pillar to the floor.

"Were you just watching me?" Lennon took a deep breath and shot him a look of disbelief. But as much as she wanted answers, she didn't want him to stop giggling like a school girl caught staring at her favorite teacher.

It was adorable how his lips curled effortlessly and how his eyes twinkled. She liked how his voice got deeper but it was still high-pitched as he laughed. She liked the way his humming sounded and how it resonated with her even after its frequency was swallowed by silence.

"You looked deep in thought..." Eddie drew out warmly, approaching her and causing her to push herself off the wall to meet him halfway. "A good thought... I didn't want to interrupt," he continued, turning to the side and walking beside her.

"And you thought you'd just watch me instead?" she questioned him incredulously.

She knew she sounded suspicious of him but she secretly liked it. She liked the idea of his eyes on her. If it were anyone else, she would have been creeped out, but because it was him, her heart grew fonder for the geek in leather.

Her eyes followed his as they washed over her face, noticing how little ice crystals started to form around her wild and frizzy curls around her forehead. He saw her rosy cheeks and her cracked lips and felt the urge to touch them again.

"I was just gonna wait for you to come back to reality before asking if you..." Eddie cut himself off when someone appeared from the gym.

The school was almost empty except for the three girls on the cheer team and some teachers but apparently, it wasn't just them.

Billy had come from the gym and it didn't take very long for his eyes to follow them.

Lennon froze in place.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What are you gonna do? What the fuck are you gonna do, Lennon? Shit, he's coming over...

"Hi, Billy," Lennon decided if she addressed him first that the tension would be taken off of her and Eddie and onto him instead. After all, people who had things to hide acted suspiciously. She couldn't let him know this was the reason she kissed him on Friday. She couldn't let him know she was overwhelmingly interested in Eddie 'the freak' Munson.

"Hello, darling," his eyes went from Eddie to Lennon as he slung his duffel bag over his shoulder and stopped in front of the pair.

She didn't look over, but she could sense the tension get rough and tense as Billy called her by the nickname he gave her. She knew Eddie was unsettled but she couldn't look over, she couldn't blow her cover. Not now.

Eddie's hands bawled at his sides and his jaw tightened at the sound of that name leaving that other man's lips. He hated it. It sounded bitter and blood-curdling. He despised the look in his eye and the mischievous smirk on his lips. He hated it. All of it.

"I uh... I didn't know you were staying after school today..." she drew out, hoping if she ignored the elephant in the room and treated Eddie like an innocent acquaintance that Billy would either drop his concern or he would pretend like Eddie wasn't even there. Anything would be better than having to come up with a lie to tell Billy.

"A couple of us continued to play half-court in the courtyard," Billy's eyes kept moving from Lennon to Eddie who had grown both agitated and shy all at once. "Wanted to get a few extra practices in before the game. What are you doing out and about with the freak?" Billy furrowed his brows and ignored Eddie entirely now, realizing he wasn't worth his time nor his effort.

Lennon turned and saw how Eddie swallowed uncomfortably and ground his jaw as he was staring darkly at the new kid across from them.

"Eddie," she corrected Billy, not feeling an ounce of regret for sticking up for his name, "was just seeing if I was alright," she confessed.

Half-truths. Yes. You've done it the whole time you've been here, Lennon. Keep going. Half-truths. Stick with them. C'mon, don't freeze up now. Half-truths.

"My brother ditched me again. He was just seeing if I was okay. What about you?" she immediately directed the attention away from Eddie and onto Billy. "You and Max doing alright?"

Billy leered at Eddie suspiciously but fell right into Lennon's trap.

"We're fine. You need a ride?" Billy asked sentimentally, shoving his hand into his sweatpants pocket and pulling out a pair of keys.

Lennon's eyes went to the keys before feeling her throat tighten.

She didn't want to get a ride with him. She didn't know if Billy was trustworthy enough to drive her home without wanting something in return. He seemed cocksure and there was still that mysterious undertone inside him that Lennon noticed the moment she locked eyes with him. There was something dark hiding underneath his beautiful exterior and she didn't know if it was something sinister or something he was trying to hide, like insecurity.

She didn't want to ride with him all alone. She didn't trust him not to try something with her. But even more so, she didn't trust him not to take 'no' for an answer. It wasn't her first thought. He didn't seem like the type to force himself onto someone, but that underlying darkness in him made her question it.

"I-" Lennon was about to speak up but with the swelling in her throat and the interruption, she had to cut herself off.

"I was just offering her a ride home," Eddie broke his silence, causing Billy's lustful eyes to turn dark and menacing as they slid from the cheerleader to the drug dealer.

"And what makes you think she'd trust a druggie like you to take her home?" Billy glowered, growing an inch in height as he straightened his back.

Even though Billy and Eddie stood at the same height, Billy looked bigger in every way possible. He looked bulkier, stronger, meaner, taller, scarier...

"What makes you think she'd trust a whore like you?" Eddie countered confidently, puffing his chest out slightly as his shoulders hardened protectively.

"How would you know? You been watching me fuck from behind the bushes, Munson?" he spat back, getting closer to Eddie in a manner that looked daunting and aggressive. "Let me ask you again," he cringed, making his voice seem deeper and more threatening as he kept his eyes glued on Eddie's. "Why the fuck would an innocent girl like her trust a dirty, pill-popping, freak like you?" he ridiculed Eddie with a disgusted look on his face, eying him up and down like he was waiting for the guy to throw the first punch.

"Oh," Eddie smirked devilishly, not worried about being hit and knowing where Lennon's affections resided now. "She's got you fooled, my friend."

His chuckling agitated Billy, and Lennon's eyes went to the fist Billy was forming around his keys. "She ain't as innocent as you think she is..." he hummed humorously but that only caused Billy to put his hands on Eddie's chest and shove him a few paces back.

Eddie caught his footing but he wasn't backing down and neither was Billy.

"Billy, stop it," Lennon scolded him calmly, putting herself between them and looking up at him with disgrace.

"I'm not your friend, Munson!" Billy shouted, ignoring Lennon's attempt to ease his ill feelings.

Eddie only continued to smile, knowing he knew Lennon in ways no one else did. He had all the stability and all the proof he needed to prove Billy wrong. But it was angering to see him act like he was the one who knew it all. He was so blind to the truth and he was an arrogant asshole for thinking otherwise.

"You don't look like her's either, Hargrove," Eddie smirked, egging the younger man on. Billy flinched like he was going to pounce but with Lennon standing in front of him, he didn't have the chance.

"Chill," she spoke calmly despite her rising anxiety. "What's it matter to you anyway?" she asked Billy in a low voice, hoping it was soft enough to keep from Eddie's ears. "He's not worth it," she shook her head, gaining his attention and watching as the anger started to fizzle out behind his eyes.

"You just wanna let him talk a load of shit about you?"

"Nobody's going to believe him anyway," Lennon admitted. But she used those words as ammunition and she hated the truth behind them.

She knew who Eddie was. He wasn't a freak, he wasn't evil, he didn't hurt people or kill people or even rob people. And even if Lennon tried to prove the rumors wrong, nobody would believe her because Eddie had been around for six years. There was no reliability in the new girl's perception of a man who has been at the same high school for six whole years. Nobody would believe her for seeing the good in him and nobody would believe him in seeing the bad in her.

"Someone needs to beat the dirty lies out of his filthy little mouth-" Billy grit his teeth and jerked his shoulder from her grasp before she was quick to block him from Eddie again.

"No," she pushed her weight against him which seemed to break Billy from his rage. "Just let him be, Billy," she shook her head. "It doesn't matter... C'mon," she tugged him towards the parking lot and hoped it would be enough to save Eddie a beating.

Even if he was strong enough to match Billy, he was legally an adult and Billy wasn't. If he wanted to do damage, he could get Eddie in some serious trouble simply for defending himself. That was the tragedy of it. In every situation, in every scenario, Eddie was in danger.

"Just take me home..." she whispered, keeping her steady eyes on Billy despite her distrust of the man.

Nothing else mattered. She just wanted to make sure Eddie was okay and her reputation wasn't jeopardized.

Billy glared at Eddie one last time before sighing and followed Lennon towards the parking lot on the side of the building.

Lennon tried not to look back. She wanted to see Eddie one more time. She wanted to go with him. She wanted to hug him and promise him it was okay and that she trusted him more. Actually, he was the only person she trusted. And turning away from him shattered something inside her.

"Careful!" Eddie warned, "she's got a little bit of the devil in her, Hargrove!" Eddie cupped his hands together and forced both Billy and Lennon's heads to turn towards him as they walked away.

When Lennon faced him, he had a sarcastic, protective smile plastered to his drained face but she could see the dullness in his eyes. The look of hurt pained her even more.

"She doesn't even need to get it from me, dude. That girl is both hellfire and holy water," he stumbled backward as he put more distance between them. "Just remember, the flavor you taste depends on how you treat her!"

Billy thought he'd feel provoked to protect Lennon's dignity but there was something about his words that made his terse facial features relax under his witchcraft. It was like a wave of suspicion and realization washed him clean from aggravation.

Eddie had swung his body forward and marched off with disbelief. He shook his lowered head and kicked at the ground as he strode off in an outrage. Even though she didn't call him names or agree with his bullies, her silence was just as bad. She had gone from walking beside him like they had been friends forever to walking off with Billy like he really was a distrustful freak.

She stood up for him but she wouldn't tell Billy the truth either, and Eddie couldn't blame her. He was a drug dealer, a Satanic semi-member, a malicious monster not to be trusted. Why would she admit to being friends with that?

Eddie couldn't stop thinking about it; how easy it was for her to go home with him, how easy it was for her to kiss him, how easy it was for her to trust him... Maybe he was wrong to have kissed her when he did... Maybe he misjudged her... Maybe he was foolish for thinking he had a chance... Maybe she did like Billy...Maybe she did have her eyes on someone else... On someone easier...

Lennon jerked Billy towards her as she pulled him away, not seeing that he was calm now and didn't require a reason not to beat the shit out of Eddie.

She wanted to smile despite the cruelness hidden in his words. He was teasing her. He was telling Billy about the real her after he knew how important it was to her to be perfect. He deserved scorn but she was incapable of giving it to him. She wanted to appreciate his poetry but she couldn't, not when Billy was shaking his head and furrowing his brows in question as he led Lennon to the car.

It was something about the way he said she had the devil in her that made Billy grow suspicious. She had said something similar to him the night he picked Max up from her place.

She said everyone had a little devil inside of them somewhere, that 'the only difference resides in how willing we are to let people see him.'

Eddie was now saying the same thing. Why would they say the same thing if Eddie didn't know Lennon well enough to be telling the truth? Unless they were well-acquainted and Lennon wasn't telling him the truth.

He shrugged the thoughts off, realizing it was probably just her giving, caring, and sweet demeanor getting in the way of her anger towards him, but that didn't mean it wasn't bothering him.

"Why aren't you fazed by that freak?" Billy asked incredulously, rounding the corner of the building.

Lennon looked over and sighed. "I don't get why people call him that," she began. "He's nice to me..." she admitted nonchalantly, riding up to Billy's car and suddenly realizing what she just got herself into.

"I wonder why..." Billy shot back sarcastically, rolling his eyes and hopping into the front seat.

"What do you mean?" she played dumb.

Billy let out a gentle tsk with his teeth and tongue before turning to her to see if she was serious; which, she pretended to be. "You seriously can't see it?" Billy furrowed his brows and shook his head in disbelief.

"See what?" she pondered, continuing to act innocent and oblivious to Eddie's attempt to get closer to her.