𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝙖 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙙𝙚

- 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗶𝗴𝘀

~ April 11th 2019 ~

The hospital wanted me and Dan to come back for another appointment. I've been going out of my head...I mean that can't be good right? Why else did the hospital request for us to come back several days later...it just doesn't make sense.

"Maze...stop fidgeting" Dan whispers under his breath while I try and find a comfortable position on the rock hard hospital chair. "I can't." I whisper getting a weird sort of backache. "Don't panic...just breathe." Dan whispers under his breath while everyone looks at us. I'm glad they're all looking - I look fine...healthy but something is clearly wrong with my baby. Let that be a lesson for all of these expectant mothers.

"How can I not panic?" I whisper under my breath as tears fill up my eyes. I'm a hormonal mess. "There's probably something wrong with Bee and-" little Bee kicks when I say her name - I can't help but weakly smile through my emotions. "There might not be. This could just be the hospital's mistake. Maybe they forgot to check? Because that happens and..." Dan's voice trails off when a midwife pops her head around the corner and summons me.

Both me and Dan nervously stand up, I feel Dan pressing his hand against my back lightly for reassurance. I really need it. I falsely smile when I go into the hospital room and sit on the bed when she asks me too. Dan sits besides it on the chair. This is the second appointment Dan has tagged along too. I hoped that this appointment would've been my nine month one...

"Hi, I'm sister Abbie" Abbie extends her hand out for a handshake. She isn't our normal midwife, apparently that one is on holiday or something. Which is a nightmare for someone like me who needs some professional advice from time to time.

I want have my pregnancy by the books. I don't want to risk or miss anything at all.

"Dan Smith..." Dan whispers looking confused. "Are you the child's father?" Abbie asks while she puts on her purple medical gloves. I guess I should probably take my jacket off?

"Yeah..." Dan smiles looking at him as I smile back. "Ah that's great. And you must be Maisie?" I nod my head while Abbie nods hers. "Maybe I ask if you are partners?" I both Dan and I slowly nod our heads. "That's great. Um before we start Sarah sends her apologises for missing this scan." Scan? I had a scan a few days ago.

"Um...I know this is random and everything" - just cut to the point Maze - "but I've already had a check up scan this week." Abbie makes an 'ah' sound. She doesn't seem happy or however normal midwifes act...which makes me panic even more. "Well...there was something on that scan which might be a problem for your pregnancy. Today I'm going to give you a ultrasound and we might be able to determine if you need to say here...to resolve the issue." Why the fuck couldn't they tell us over the phone? I need to be prepared for this news.

What the fuck is wrong with my baby?

"What's the problem?" Dan takes the words from right out of my mouth. Abbie, who has the longest blonde hair ever goes to her desk and holds up a clipboard...oh fuck. This must be serious she's prepared for my scan already. "Your baby is underweight." Wait what.

Dan nervously laughs in shock as he points to me. "That's not possible...Maisie is always...eating." It't true I am. In fact my bump feels and looks larger than all of the other pregnant mama's. "By the looks of your bump it seems like you have a lot of amniotic fluid...which is normal." At least that's one thing normal.

"Amniotic-what?" I close my eyes in frustration. He knows. I know Dan knows because I gave him a 'dummies guide to expectant fathers'. It's no shit that a book like that will cover amniotic fluid.

Abbie smiles at his question. "Amniotic fluid is what is in the sac with your baby. It helps keep the baby maintain a healthy temperature. It also protects the baby. Let's say if Maisie wasn't looking where she was going and accidentally tripped over - instead of landing on the baby - the fluid would protect the baby." Dan makes a long 'ohh' sound while I roll my eyes.

Obviously I knew that.

"Well your girlfriend has got more fluid the usual. It's not at all uncommon. It's just why her bump looks larger than average, that's all." Dan smiles at me. Of course I don't smile back. The sac isn't the problem by the sounds of it. It's Bee...our baby.

"Why is she underweight if I've been eating nonstop? It doesn't make sense her kicks are getting harder and harder...are you sure what was on that scan is correct? I've been taking the right vitamins and nutrition. My friends wife is a nutritionist and she's been helping me out. I read all of the books and researched and joined a mommy blog and-" Dan cuts me off as he stands up and hugs me. I'm embarrassed but I then establish why he is hugging me.

I'm crying...

"Lay down for me Maisie...you're a terrific mum but sometimes these things happen totally unexpected. Everyone's pregnancies are different, okay?" With that Dan let's go of me and helps me onto the hard hospital bed. "I need you to roll your top up, okay?" I nod my head and do as I'm told as Dan helps.

I can't lose my baby...I can't...I'm scared. I'm fucking terrified.