~ October 12th 2020 ~

I hate hospitals just as much as Dan.

I think that's the reason behind why I'm not exactly...coming here for monthly checkups. I know I should but I've been going the bohemian way when it comes to my baby. Plus my auntie is helping me, she wise when it comes to my dietary needs. I also practice yoga, I sleep for a fair amount of time too. That and long walks.

I think I'm a good mum? I mean...I think I'm doing everything right? I even avoid Dan and get him to brush his teeth every time he has a smoke. I think I've...definitely made an improvement. I mean...I adore my baby. Like...it's became a part of me. The weird thing is that I feel like him or her is affecting my brain.

"Oh my..." the nurses says as soon as as looks at the small screen. "W-What?" Dan panics. The nurse isn't quick enough to answer as Dan immediately holds his chest, his face going red. "Shit." I push the midwife off of me and sits up. "Tablets!" I loudly say while the midwife holds Dan's back looking confused. "Tablets?" I cannot believe she is legitimately asking...why Dan needs tablets when he is about to have a fucking cardiac arrest. "He has a heart problem." With that I dig into his back-pocket and pull out the small container...or at least I think I do. As I go to open it up I realise that it's clearly not a tablet box.

My eyes widen at the sight of the beautiful ring.

The midwife grabs it off of me and shoves it back in Dan's pocket, I guess she knows full well what it is. She has a smile on her face. I would smile back but I on the other hand am scared that my boyfriend - or soon to be fiancé - is going to fucking die on me and our kid again.

That's when I give Dan two as he takes them immediately. His hands tremble. Within a seconds they must start working, Dan sighs in relief and his muscles relax. Within another minute Dan embarrassedly holds his forehead with the palm of his hand, "sorry..." he whispers looking in the midwife's direction, with one hand on my back.

"It's okay..." the midwife sternly says. She clearly doesn't know a thing about cardiac. I must admit that I had no idea before what happened to Dan...and that isn't the department that she specialises in.

"Let's just...do the scan." Dan clearly now wants to go. He shouldn't be embarrassed he has a heart problem. Me and the midwife nod our heads before I lean back on the bed and we go back to our old positions. "As I was going to say is that...I'm surprised that you don't know about your current condition..." I think I'm fully aware that there's a baby fucking growing inside of me? The midwife then looks at Dan, "your children are healthy." She smiles while Dan catches on to what she just said, as so do I.

"Children?" We both stutter at the same time. Hopefully she fucked up and meant 'child'.

"You're pregnant with healthy twins."

"Oh...god." I mumble under my breath looking at the screen to see my babies. "No fucking way..." Dan laughs - and sobs - at the same time. The midwife nods her head, "since girls are always right...and boys are majority of the time not...that's the way your babies are positioned." My eyes widen. "So a girl and...boy" my heart is about to burst.

"Double the trouble." I mean...I just wanted a little boy. I'm not going to lie or anything. "How are they?" I feel weird. I mean. Not weird-weird...but after hearing their heartbeats and seeing them both...knowing their genders...it just feels a little strange.

"Like I said before, they're healthy. There's nothing wrong here...other than they're still in a breech position, when ideally they should be moving around so their heads are at the bottom. At the moment their heads are right there" - the nurse points to the top of my bump - "but that could mean that they're happy and set up shop in there. You might need a c-section in the future..." so my kids are too comfortable to come out. "They share your big dick energy." I laugh pointing at Dan as he shakes his head with a smile. He knows that it's true. "That's dangerous for the mum and kids, isn't it?" Dan's been to this rodeo before, I don't even know what any of this technical stuff means. I'm just nodding my head. The midwife - much to my dismay - nods her head while I feel panic.

"But we'll give you a c-section if that was ever to happen. So don't worry about it. As long as we get them out before the labour starts naturally then all three of you will be fine." I nod my head feeling a little reassurance. But it still terrifies me.

She then goes back to placing the metal wand on my stomach, the gel has became warm thank god. "Oh my god." I put my hand over my mouth as she shows me the scan. "Can I get like twenty photos...please?" I want the whole wide world to see my babies. I'm going to be a mum to fucking twins. Actual twins. "Twenty?" The midwife says. Of course Dan being Dan shakes his head. "Four. Please." I roll my eyes while I look at the screen and stupidly try not to cry.

"How comes the previous doctors that we did go to...earlier on in the pregnancy...didn't point them out?" Dan's on the roll asking important questions. I would but this is a shock. "It could be that one of them was hiding? Maybe the doctor that you saw didn't move the wand around enough? Or he or she was too distracted, they probably forgot to tell you thinking you already knew? Something like that..." it makes sense.

The woman then puts down the wand and gives me a bunch of tissues to clean the weird gel off of my stomach. I quickly do so before finally shoving my top down over my bump. "Wait here while I get the pictures, okay?" Both me and Dan nod our heads while she disappears out of the room.