I've ever heard the apartment as quiet as it is right now. You can practically hear a pin drop. Usually, I would've woken up to the television blaring in the living room, or the sounds of pots and pans banging around in the kitchen as either Talia or Veronica attempted to cook breakfast. But this morning, there is nothing.

This is the third morning in a row where it's just been nothing.

Sitting at the kitchen table, I haphazardly sip my boiling hot coffee, switching off between reading the news from my phone and looking at Talia and Veronica's closed doors. I know they are both in the apartment, mostly because I had heard Talia speaking on the phone whilst I was brewing coffee and Veronica had been in the bathroom taking a shower before I had the chance to.

After the disastrous events at Helena's party, the mayhem had seemed to follow us when we got back to the city. As soon as Veronica and I had stepped foot into the apartment, Talia barely lifted a finger to regard us. She'd been sitting in the living room with Nick, and as soon as we popped our heads in, she had already begun bulldozing towards her room, slamming the door behind her as Nick shot us both apologetic looks.

Since that encounter, she's taken extra precautions to avoid running into Veronica and me. She will leave extra early for classes and will hide out in her room until the common area is empty. I'm impressed at how far Talia is willing to go to avoid talking to us.

Suddenly, a door flies open, jolting me from my thoughts. My heart speeds up, thinking it was Talia, though when I saw Veronica instead, I let out a sigh of relief. I don't know what I would've said or done if Talia had chosen this moment to confront me.

Veronica looks exhausted. The deep bags and rumbled clothes hanging off of her body are a sure sign of that. She looks as if she hasn't been getting any sleep.

She manages to smile weakly at me, her feet padding into the kitchen as she pours herself some coffee.

"How're you doing?" I immediately cringe at the question. It's obvious she isn't doing so well.

Despite the awkward inquiry, Veronica shrugs, leaning against the opposite side of the table. "Shitty." I nod thoughtfully, taking another sip from my mug.

"I should be asking you that question," she continues. My back stiffens when I realize she is referring to Sebastian. After leaving when I heard about his engagement, he hasn't tried texting or calling like I'd assumed he would. I'm still debating on whether or not I'm glad for the radio silence or not, considering I have absolutely nothing, yet absolutely everything to say to him.

"Helena said she's been engaged for the last two months," I whisper. "Sebastian and I broke up in the middle of October." If I am doing the math correctly that means that Sebastian proposed either the day of our breakup or the day after, which makes me even more enraged. Did he end our relationship to be with Helena?

Veronica looks remorseful. "I'm sorry, Eves."

"Yeah, me too," I mumble, rubbing my thumb over the rim of my cup. "Have you spoken to Olivia since that night?"

"No," she says curtly, looking down at the floor. "She's been calling me nonstop but I-I just can't right now."

"You know none of this is your fault, right?" I ask tenderly. "It might all seem that way, but you were just trying to protect Talia and this friendship."

"Isn't it?" Veronica counters, briefly meeting my eyes. "I mean, I lied to my best friend. I hurt her immensely. And it's all because I was too much of a coward to say anything to her."

My expression softens a little. It's a tricky situation, and maybe Veronica is right. Maybe this could've all been avoided if she had told Talia from the beginning that she was moving to Paris. But she didn't. And we can't go back in time and wonder if the outcome could've been different.

"I understand why Talia is upset," Veronica continues, leaning her forearms on the hardwood tabletop. "Honestly, I'd understand if you didn't want to talk to me either." I immediately shake my head, about to interject, but Veronica gives me a look, letting me know she's not finished. "I know you've been trying to spare my feelings in all of this by trying to play the middleman, but this is all on me. I should've been an adult about this whole thing. Talia deserved to know about Paris from the minute I'd found out about it. And so did you."

"Yeah, I was fucking terrified about not only Talia would react, but you as well. You both have been my rocks for so many years, and I know me leaving to live somewhere across the ocean is not an easy pill to swallow. I could've handled everything differently. I should've handled everything differently."

"I just hope it's not too late to fix it all," she finishes softly. Before I can respond, Talia's door opens. Both Veronica and I grow still, watching as she pops her sunglasses on her face, hiking her bag further and sashaying past us, her Chanel perfume hitting me in the nose. I can't help but feel a tiny sense of annoyance towards her. I completely understand why she's upset, but I hate that she's being childish about it. If she'd just sit down and talk with Veronica and me, we could all talk it out and hopefully move on.

Before my brain can process what I'm doing, my voice rings out. "Talia!"

She freezes, her hand hovering over the doorknob. From behind me, I hear Veronica curse under her breath, no doubt wishing for me to remain quiet. I slide off of the stool, walking slowly over to her. I can't see Talia's eyes from behind her tinted glasses, but judging by her body language, I know she is regarding me warily.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I fix her with a cold stare. "Are you done acting like a toddler?"

To my surprise, Talia laughs. It's a bitter sound, something that makes my hard exterior waver and a chill run down my back.

"Depends. Are you both done being bitches and lying to my face?" she spits back at me. My jaw goes slack, and Veronica sucks in a sharp breath.

I'm speechless. Never in our years of friendship has Talia ever been this much of a nightmare. She huffs, realizing I'm not going to respond. "Figures," she mumbles under her breath, throwing the door open. Except standing on the other side of it is Sebastian. He has his knuckles raised as if he had been about to knock. My eyes widen as does his when he notices me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I grow even more surprised when I hear the venom in Talia's voice. She has slid her sunglasses off, her blue eyes glaring intensely at Sebastian. He fidgets under her stare, looking over at me as if asking for help.

When Sebastian doesn't respond, Talia snaps her fingers in his face, making him look back at her in shock. "You are a lot of things. But I didn't know I would have to add deaf to the list as well." If I wasn't in such a paralyzing shock, I would've laughed at the blunt comment Talia just dropped.

Sebastian fixes his incredulous stare into a passive one. "I'm here to talk to Evie," he pauses, thinking for a minute before speaking again. "Not her guard dog."

"You're such a piece of–" I put my hand on Talia's forearm to stop her from scratching her acrylics down his face. Veronica has also stepped forward, pushing herself in between Sebastian and Talia.

"She doesn't want to speak to you," Veronica says coldly.

Sebastian chuckles, shaking his head. "Didn't realize you all spoke for her."

Talia struggles against my grip on her arm. "You know, I took the trash out yesterday, but I guess I missed the biggest one."

Sebastian glares at her, trying to step inside the apartment but Veronica shoves him back with her palm.

"Alright, we can talk," I say loudly, realizing I need to deescalate the situation before things start getting out of hand. Talia and Veronica give me identical looks of disbelief, clearly not wanting me to.

When I don't retract my statement, Talia scoffs, ripping her forearm from my fingers. She slams her shoulder into Sebastian's knocking him back a few steps on her way out of the door.

"We can talk outside," I say. Veronica gives me another look and I nod to her, letting it be known that it's okay. She gives Sebastian another scowl, before turning around and walking further into the apartment, the sound of her bedroom door closing a minute later.

I trail behind him into the hallway, shutting my front door behind me a little so we can have a bit of privacy. I'm extremely wary of this conversation, mostly because I have no idea what I want to say or rather where I even want to start.

Sebastian clears his throat, running a hand through his blonde locks. If there is one thing Sebastian takes care of, it's his appearance. Nothing is ever out of place or wrinkled. Except right now. His hair stands in different directions, his clothes are a tad bit rumbled, his fingers tugging at the hem of his shirt to try and smoothen the creases out.

"That wasn't how I wanted you to find out about my engagement." Sebastian's face contorts when the word leaves his lips, clearly put off by his new status.

Raising a brow, I narrow my eyes at him. "You didn't want me to find out at all I'm sure."

"I was planning on telling you."

"Why?"

He blows out a frustrated sigh, clearly battling with his thoughts. "Because we were together for four years and I don't want you to think those four years never mattered to me."

I let out a dry laugh. "Well, you did an amazing job convincing me of that."

"I'm sorry, Evie. It's just–" Sebastian shakes his head quickly. "There's a lot that you don't know about me or my family. Being a Raymond is complicated . . . and messy. Trust me, my wedding with Helena was as much of a surprise for me as it probably was for you."

He is being cryptic, obviously not wanting to divulge with me the exact reasons he is to be married to Helena. I don't want to press him on the matter, mostly because this doesn't feel like an apology. Or the end of our chapter. It seems as if every time I'm close to moving on, Sebastian will pop back up, throwing a wrench in my plans.

"Do you love her?"

His head snaps up at my question, bewilderment written all over his face. "What?"

"Do you love her?" I repeat in a much slower tone.

Sebastian looks caught off guard, opening and closing his mouth a few times. "Helena has been my friend for my entire life, of course, I care about her and–"

"That's not what I mean and you know it," I interrupt. "It's a simple yes or no question, Sebastian."

He sighs heavily. "I don't know, okay? I don't know if I'll ever love Helena, much less any other woman."

"Why?" I ask in confusion.

A snort leaves Sebastian as he stares at me. I can tell he is waiting for me to put the pieces together but I'm completely lost, I don't understand what he is trying to say.

"Because I'm still in love with you, Eves," he says gently. My breath catches in my throat, not expecting that response from him. He chuckles at my look of disbelief. "I know that's hard to comprehend, especially with the way I've treated you, but I love you. I've loved you since that moment you crushed my foot on the five train that snowy Monday all those years ago. When you apologized about a hundred times, and your face was this adorable red color from your embarrassment mixed in with the cold wind. I've loved every moment I have ever spent with you, the good and the bad. I didn't want you to know about my engagement because I wanted to protect you. I still want to protect you. I may love you more than I've ever loved any person before, but I can't keep hurting you. I'm no good for you Evie."

I am frozen in place as Sebastian takes a few cautious steps toward me. His blue eyes roamed over my face as if searching for something specific. "I'm no good for you and yet, I still want to do this."

I don't have time to object. My brain doesn't have time to comprehend anything until his lips are on mine. They are warm and extremely familiar that I am not even thinking when I find myself leaning into his embrace. His hands tangle in my hair, pulling at my roots delicately.

What the hell am I doing? This doesn't feel right. Kissing him doesn't give me the same rush of euphoria that it used to. Kissing him just leaves me feeling empty, almost as if I'm kissing a friend.

But most of all, kissing him is not the same as kissing Miles.

Miles.

Oh my God.

Immediately my hands are pushing against Sebastian's chest and he stumbles back, clearly caught off guard. I wipe at my lips with the back of my hand, a pissed-off look on my face as I part my lips to tear him a new one. But I am halted when I notice the way Sebastian is looking over my shoulder. As if he is looking at someone.

I regret turning around. My stomach drops at the way Miles is looking at me. Hurt flashed across his features. His emerald eyes lock on me as I stare back, lost for words. He has a bouquet of red roses in his hands, and I want to scream at myself for allowing Sebastian to even get the opportunity to be as near to me as he was.

"Sorry, I didn't realize I was interrupting something," Miles deadpans. He's wiped away the hurt and pain from his face, leaving his features void of any emotion. I want to cry. I want to reach out and reassure him that Sebastian doesn't mean a goddamn thing to me, not anymore. I want to say that Miles is the only man that I want. That I hated kissing Sebastian with every fiber in my being. But all of my words seem to lodge themselves in my throat.

"Miles." He shakes his head, swiveling around on his feet and storming towards the end of the hall. I don't even cast a look at Sebastian, my feet finally carrying me after him. I sprint after Miles, tears blurring my vision.

Putting a hand on his shoulder to halt his trek back down my apartment stairs, he flinches under my touch. "Miles, please, I didn't—it wasn't."

A laugh that hurts my ears and causes pain to shoot straight to my heart leaves his lips. He turns around so fast, that I have to take a few steps back so we don't collide. His eyes are ablaze with fury. And it is all directed towards me. "How much of an idiot am I?" he snaps. "How stupid was it of me to think I could compete with him? That I could win back your heart? That maybe, somehow, you were starting to fall for me in the same way that I was starting to fall for you." Another bitter laugh escapes his lips as he stared down at the bouquet in his hands. "I was coming here to tell you that I was just signed with Republic. I thought we could go out for brunch to celebrate and take your mind off of what's been going on in your life." I blink, a single tear rolling down my cheek as he shoves the roses into my chest.

"But I guess you and Sebastian can do all that."

His words cut a knife straight through my heart. He doesn't even look back as he disappears down the stairs, his feet slapping against the flooring until I can't hear him anymore.

Until all I can hear are the sounds of my quiet sobs, my salty tears hitting the petals of the red roses.

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i haven't edited this chapter, so i apologize for any grammatical errors, it's late and i just wanted to get this chapter up lmao. also, there are only five more chapters after this which honestly makes me want to cry.