My phone rang startling me out of my sorta dancing to George Strait's Check Yes or No while cleaning the bathroom. My sister, Joann appears on the screen so I pause the CD and answer.

"Hey, Joann." I answered

"I'm Just calling to make sure you'll be ready. I should be by to pick you up around four-thirty or so."

The good mood I was in walked out the front door slamming it in the process. If she thinks she's going to drive me so I'm trapped there until she decides to return me, she has lost her mind. "Joann, no. The car you gave me still works fine. I'm sure I won't be staying long and I don't want you to have to leave on my account."

"Crystal, that's ridiculous. We don't have to stay long but I also don't want you running out after five minutes. There's also not going to be a lot of parking space with everyone there so this is just the most sensible route."

"Just for you I'll stay for at least six minutes. after that, I can't make any guarantees. You're lucky I even agreed to come at all so don't push it." This was so like her to try pulling something like this. I put my phone down on the counter without telling her to grab a venom. I doubt she was saying anything I wanted to hear anyways.

"I opened it taking several large gulps before picking the phone up.

"Crystal? Crystal?"

"Yeah?" I answered taking another drink. These things were my alcohol.

"Did you walk away to get a energy drink?" She asked annoyed.

"No."

"Liar! I heard you open it. What was I just saying?

Shit! I cursed under my breath. "Told you." She said "If I knew you were lying about stealing my clothes and makeup when we were kids, even when I had no idea why you would want it, I sure can tell when you're lying now. I'll see you at four-thirty."

"Shit!" I said again out loud tossing my phone back on the counter. Not even George Strait will help my mood now.

—

Staring at my closet I couldn't find a single thing to wear. Yeah, I know, It's a common theme with girls but in my case I knew that I would be judged a hundred times more than any other there. I could walk in there with the most beautiful dress from a top designer and they would all hate it because most of them don't see me as a women just a guy wearing their clothes. On the other hand, if I showed up in a old pair of jeans and a shirt, I'd be not committed or some shit like that as my old therapist said once. You just can't win sometimes. I sat on my bed hiding my face in my hands. Why did I ever agree to this?

After a few minutes i decided to hell with them. I got up and grabbed a white sundress with a purple floral pattern that I fell in love with the moment I saw it at Macy's. It was far more expensive than what I normally could afford as most of my clothes I buy second hand, but it was on sale so I decided to splurge. Maybe it would give me the confidence I need to get through this.

I was checking myself in the mirror when I heard a knock at the door followed quickly by my sister calling me. "I'm in the bedroom." I called slipping into some flip flops.

"Wow! You look great." She said looking me up and down by the door. I turned to her checking if she was being sarcastic but she seemed sincere. "Thank you"

"You ready?" She asked enthusiastically.

"Noooo. But I guess I'm as close to it as I'll ever be so let's go. I just need to bring Dobby in first.

The drive to our parents house was spent mostly in silence. Joann tried a few times to start a conversation but as soon as we headed out my nerves shot through the roof. Finally after some one word answers she got the hint and let me be.

Once we actually got there about thirty minutes later I felt like I was having a panic attack. Images of my dad yelling and the hate in his eyes the day I left home kept playing on repeat in my head.

"Hey! It's going to be alright." Joann said putting her hand on top of mine. "Take some deep breaths and try to calm down. If things get bad we will leave."

I did as she said which surprisingly helped. Plus, it couldn't be as bad as last time right? Right. I can do this. I took a few more deep breaths and nodded to her I was ready to go in. "Let's just get this over with" I told her as i got out of the car.

The temperature was nice and warm all day but as soon as I got out it seemed like it dropped twenty degrees. I looked around at all the cars as we made our way to the door ignoring all the talking and things going on in the back of the house.

As soon as we walked through the door it seemed as if everything that was going on moments ago stopped. I stood looking around at everyone from family, to friends of my parents that I no longer called friends of mine, to total strangers.

Speaking in a low voice so only Joann would hear "What the fuck, Joann?! You said this was just going to be us and Uncle Tom. I sorta expected a few more but not this!

"It's fine. Just try and have a good time, okay?

"No it's not fine! I'm -"

I was cut off by our mom, Ann, walking towards us giving me her disappointed look. "My god, Luke, couldn't you of dressed in something decent just this once? Was it really asking very much of you? I don't understand what we did to make you want to embarrass us so badly."

Tears threatened to fall out of my eyes as I tried holding them back. Since coming out and starting my transition I've gotten really good at taking insults from people and actually fooled myself into thinking I would be able to handle this but now I knew I was just being stupid.

"Mom!" Joann jumped in "That's enough."

"What did I do? Have you not seen him? I'm assuming you have since you brought him. Really, Joann it's your encouragement that -

"I've had enough! I'm leaving!"

As I started to head back out Joann grabbed my arm. "Don't go. We just got here." She turned to our mom "we're not doing this here." Our mom threw up her hands and headed off with a disgusted look.

I don't normally drink very much especially when I just recently had a lot to drink but tonight I was making an exception. I was on my third beer in the forty minutes or so since I was here when my uncle came up to me. Aside from the amount of Grey that was in his hair and putting on some weight he looked good in his blue jeans, grey 'Leave me alone, I'm retired' T-shirt, with a black and white Snap-on Tools cap.

"I expected you would of changed since I last saw you. I have to say, I wasn't expecting this. When I heard about it from your dad I couldn't believe it but seeing you now..."

I noticed his eyes a little lower than they should of been causing me to roll my eyes. What the fuck is it with men? He's my damn uncle for crying out loud!

"I just have to ask-"

"No. Not that it's any of your business." Cutting him off already knowing what he was going to ask. Everyone does. I'm not sure when making small talk went from asking someone about the weather or some game to asking about their genitals and if I've had surgery but it's really annoying. I don't ask others about what's between their legs.

I looked over to see my mom walking towards me again this time with a young man I didn't know.

"Luke darling, this is Pastor Steve Daniels from the Our Savior and Lord Church. I invited him because he's part of a program that helps people like you stop their destructive lifestyle. Tell him pastor.

Up until now the beer was helping me deal with being here. I wasn't so sure it was going to get me through this.

"As your mother was saying, I run a group for ex-gays-"

I couldn't take it anymore and started to leave when he grabbed me by the arm

"Luke, have you seen what you are doing to your mot-"

I pulled away seeing red "IT'S CRYSTAL!"

I screamed at the top of my lungs causing everyone to stop what they were doing for the second time.

"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT IT? IF YOU CAN'T, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND STOP GETTING JOANN TO MAKE ME COME TO THESE STUPID THINGS!"

"That's enough young man!" My father came in from out back his eyebrows scrunched together and the veins in his neck about to explode followed by Joann right after him.

"You're mother tries to help you and this is how you treat her? I told her it was no use, that you were just going to do anything you fucking wanted to and that you didn't give a shit what it did to anyone else but she wouldn't listen to me. I had hoped I was wrong that after all this time we could get through to you but there's just no doing that, is there? After all we've done for you-"

It was just like him to blame me and admit to any of it himself. Once again I was holding back the tears that threatened to fall. I would not let him or anyone else like that.

"WHAT DID YOU DO? BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME AND TELL ME HOW MUCH I EMBARRASSED YOU BOTH TILL I LEFT? YOU THINK YOU SHOULD GET A MEDAL OR SOMETHING FOR IT? WELL GUESS WHAT DAD YOU FAILED AT THAT TOO! I'M STILL ME DESPITE EVERYTHING AND I'LL CONTINUE TO BE WHETHER YOU TWO, OR ANYONE ELSE, LIKE IT OR NOT!"

I started to leave before I broke down or anything else happened that I'd regret when my dad mumbled something then hit me in the face knocking me back into the China cabinet fell all over me cutting me on my legs, arms and body.

"DAD! What the fuck?!" I heard Joann as she rushed to help me. I didn't want it. I told her this whole thing was a bad idea and yet she insisted telling me how things would be better.

"NO! YOU CAN FUCK OFF TOO JOANN! I TOLD YOU..."

I ran out of the house grabbing my purse on my out ignoring the sharp pain from some of the glass in my skin. I didn't care. I said I wouldn't break down and I did.

I pulled out my phone hoping Jake wasn't with his wife at the time. I couldn't take him being mad at me too.

"What up?" He answered

"Please pick me up."