I'm wrecked. Destroyed. Devastated.

I'm the shadow of the happy carefree boy I was until last Sunday.

After I watched Felix humiliate himself before his mate to avoid rejection and seeing his state, I felt guilty for some reason. I was miserable for myself first and then for my best friend.

No matter how hard I wish he wasn't mated to Elliot, I can't bring myself to wish rejection on anyone. For any reason whatsoever.

So yeah... I'm wrecked. And I'm not even thinking about Beta right now. I just know what Alpha means to him.

I crawled inside my bedroom after a hot shower when I got home and stayed there.

I didn't eat, I didn't move, I didn't do anything. I just sobbed. I cried myself to sleep that night.

In the next morning, I got downstairs for breakfast, silent and brooding. My parents tried to start a conversation but I was monosyllabic, at best.

"It will pass, son." - Dad consoled me. Mom looked sad for me as she fed the baby.

"Maybe, but I think Felix is getting rejected." - I told my dad, who gasped. Mom too. Even Johnny.

"What? How do you know this?" - Dad asked worriedly.

"I went to Elliot's house yesterday and Felix was at his door. You should've seen him, dad. He was wrecked and Elliot asked him if needed an audience for the rejection. But they didn't know I was there, I was just observing from a distance." - I explained to him, who was gobsmacked at the revelation.

"Goddess, this is bad! If Felix gets rejected, he can't be Alpha! Poor boy!" - Dad gasped in a deep sorrowed tone.

"Yeah... tell me about it! I've never seen him so wrecked like he was yesterday at Elliot's doorstep. Honestly, it was hard to watch. He begged him not to, but Elliot was adamant." - I said in a deep pained tone, reminding the scene.

"I'm sorry, son. I know this means you won't be Beta." - Dad said, looking at me with pity.

"That's the least of my worries. I don't think Felix will survive if he looses Alpha." - I stated, making my family gasp in shock.

My parents tried to comfort me the best they could, before dad left for the pack house.

After breakfast, I walked around the neighborhood to try to clear my head.

Maybe work up the courage to visit Felix. I'm sure he's wrecked about it and in dire need of his best friend. Though nothing can get me to forget about Elliot.

I thought about all the plans I had in mind and all the Tuesday we would do together during the break. Honestly, that hurts me the most. I'm a sexual person, I can't hide. I like what I like and I like it a lot.😏

But now Tuesday is just a word meaning the day after Monday.

Tears started to stream down my face as I walk alone on a Thursday. I got back to my house. I'm in no shape to see anyone, let alone Felix.

The day went by in a mix of trying to distract myself, sobbing without control and desperate masturbation to a picture of Elliot I took on my phone when he wasn't looking. We're never much for sexting, so the best that I could do was a shirtless pic of him.

On Friday, Christmas' Eve, I put on a brave face and marched to the pack house to face my best friend. I need to get this over with. Better now than never. I walked up to the front door - I drove there, but parked the car in the garage first - and was on my way inside when the warrior on guard dissuade me of the idea.

"He's not there." - He warned me before I stepped inside. The door is always open during the day.

"Where is he?" - I asked, looking at him curiously.

"I think he's at his mate's house." - He replied, somewhat unsure.

"Are you sure about this? Wasn't he rejected by his mate?" - I asked him and he laughed, making me glare at him.

"No, Beta. He wasn't rejected. He goes to the Lockwood's house every single day since Monday to see his mate." - He informed me in a playful tone.

"I know he did, but I thought after Wednesday..." - I mumbled under my breath, a bit confused.

"On Wednesday he returned the happiest I've seen him all week. Though, he was even happier yesterday. I guess the date went well because I could scent someone else on him." - He gossiped and I gagged at this, truly.

"Wait, so he didn't get rejected?" - I insisted, completely gobsmacked at the revelation.

"No, Beta. Not unless he's already cheating on his mate. Because I definitely didn't scent his ex girlfriend on him." - He snickered, laughing mildly at the situation.

Even if Felix wanted to - and he wouldn't - there isn't a single girl in this pack who would touch a newly mated boy, specially the son of the Alpha.

I gasped so hard the air wouldn't return to my lungs. Damn werewolves and their noses. Man, warriors are such gossip! People talk about women, but men are the worst gossipers. Not that I'm complaining in this instance. Better to be informed than to make a fool of myself.

Which is exactly what I was gonna do right now, if Felix wasn't already on a date with his mate.

I can't believe this!

Honestly, things must have taken a turn after Elliot brought Felix inside. I mean... damn!

I didn't see that coming! They're already dating? And spreading their scent all over each other?

That was fast! Even for my standards.

I guess the lesson is I shouldn't have underestimated the mate bond. Once Elliot got Felix in a close proximity, boom. Game over.

Tears come to my eyes.

I start walking back to the pack house garage and return to my car. I drove aimlessly around, crying while thinking of the mates together without me and doing stuff that Elliot and I used to do together.

I'm a wreck. I stopped at a dinner and ordered a milkshake to drown my sorrows. If I continued behind the wheels in this state, I might crash and that wouldn't do anyone any good. Specially not me. Plus, my car is too cool to be crashed.

I also ordered some food and ate my sorrows as well. It's a good thing I'm on break and have some leeway with my parents. Though it's Christmas' Eve, so I need to return shortly.

An hour later, stuffed from the junk food, I returned to a beautifully decorated home. My dad had already arrived and urged me to shower and get ready, which I did.

I tried to focus on the holiday and my family, the good thing in my life right now. And it worked for some time. I even ate much more later on, all the Christmas specials mom had made - with some assistance from our maid. She's a busy woman after all.

We celebrated, opened presents, I remembered the gift I bought Elliot last week and told him to open on Christmas' Eve, teared up a little and cheered myself back by kissing my baby sister. She's so sweet and cuddly. Babies are the best. They always lift anyone's spirit.

On Christmas day dad doesn't work, so it's all family all day. It's a Christmas movie marathon and all the leftovers we could eat. Just wonderful. I was so distracted that I didn't think about them.

On Sunday dad didn't work either, so he took us on a family outing. We went to a park and I played with Johnny. My baby sister goofed around with my dad, mom got a reprieve from baby duty - it's a partnership after all - and dad got all the baby action he craved.

Honestly, I'm so thankful for my family. This could be a lot worse without them, no question about it.

The following Monday, I've tried once again to work up the courage to go to the pack house. I should've texted him I was coming because once I got there, he's out visiting his mate.

I guess this is the new normal. But it only served to remind me that it should have been my place. I was the one who should be visiting and enjoying my omega.

My omega.

I guess I don't have an omega anymore.

I returned to my house and given up on my visiting. I seriously don't need the painful reminder everyday of what I've lost forever.

I'm trying my best not to resent them. I don't wish them any ill will. And if I had been mated, I'd be doing the exact same thing.

So, I can't really blame any of them for enjoying the newly paired mate bond. But I can't be a witness to it either. At least, not for now. When school returns, there'll be nothing for me to do. But let's cross that bridge when we get there.

Because right now I'm hurting. Badly.

I spent the rest of the week locked in my house, in between sobbing and pampering my little sister. My mom was glad for the help, but I needed her much more than she needed me.

But my lonely nights were killing me. Thinking about him, wishing he was here with me, wishing I could kiss him...

This is bad. And I'm not even seeing them together. Imagine when I'm forced to watch them together at school.

Honestly, I never thought it could hurt like this. Anything in life, really. Selfishly, I thought I'd be mated away from him. Not the other way around.

And this is worse. Far worse.

Only love can hurt like this.

On Monday back to school, I stopped by Ashley's house as always. My commitment to her never changed just because she's no longer Felix's girlfriend.

Though she's surprised to see me there.

"Happy New Year. How are you doing?" - She asked me once she got into my car, then kissed me on the cheek.

"Aside from the sleepless nights crying and not seeing my best friend or ex boyfriend for 2 weeks, I'm fine." - I snickered, making her gasp at my reply.

"And you?" - I asked her, hoping she's better than me.

"Pretty much the same. But at least he's not mated to my best friend." - She smirked in a grim tone.

"What a pair of misfits have we amounted to?" - I remarked, sounding annoyed.

"Who knows? I'm just dreading having to see them together today." - She said, taking the words right out of my mouth.

"Tell me about it! It's gonna be so much fun..." - I smirked, dreading the encounter.

We get to the school shortly, I parked my car and we proceeded to the gate. An awkward smiling Felix meets us alone.

Ash and I looked at each other with a raised eyebrow, but said nothing.

"Happy New Year! I'm sorry for my birthday party." - He greeted us with an uncomfortable grin.

"Happy New Year, Felix. You have nothing to be sorry for." - I replied in a somber tone.

Ash greeted him and asked about his better half.

"He's with his friends, getting reacquainted." - He replied, awkwardly.

"I've missed you so much, Simon. You have no idea!" - He told me with an enthusiastic tone.

"I've missed you too. I tried to visit you several times, but you're out with your mate." - I smirked, making him gasp in surprise.

"Really?" - He yelled in shock.

"Yes, multiple times actually. It was a surprise because last time I saw you two, you're getting rejected. Then I felt bad for you. But when I tried to see you, I heard you're visiting him everyday. And you're happy by his side." - I informed in a snappy mood.

Ash gagged at the revelation. Felix looks mortified.

"You saw him getting rejected?" - Elliott's voice interrupted us, approaching where we were at the school yard.

"I did, but not on purpose. I went to visit Felix, but since he wasn't at the pack house, I ended up in your neighborhood and saw you rejecting him. Right up until you carried him inside your house." - I explained in an uncomfortable tone.

Felix blushed at this.

"I wish you went to talk to me." - Elliott replied, looking sorry at me.

"I tried, but I didn't want to intrude. It's ironic because after I left, I felt so bad for my friend. I cried for hours thinking about him. Then when I went back to see him, he's happy getting busy with his mate. I was truly shocked." - I blurted, making all of them gasp at my honesty. But I have nothing to hide.

"I'm so sorry for all of this. I didn't know." - Felix spoke, sounding remorseful.

"It's fine. Maybe I should've texted you before I left home, but I thought you needed a friend." - I spoke with a pain in my voice that is palpable.

Felix rushed to hold me close. He hugged me for a moment and apologized for everything.

"I don't resent you for getting mated to Elliott, nor do I wish you were rejected by him in any way. I just wish I got told what was going on." - I told him in a bitter tone.

"I really wanted to. But I was trying to give you some space. I didn't want to pressure you in any way." - He replied in a repented voice.

Tears come to my eyes looking at Elliot for a brief moment.

"I've missed you so much during this last few weeks that I thought I would die. I even considered giving up Beta I was so broken!" - I told him with the most vulnerable tone I could muster.

"What?!" - Felix gasped loudly.

He looked desperate at me.

"I'm not. My dad convinced me I'd regret it once I got mated and would only disappoint my best friend." - I was quick to amend, much to Felix's relieved sigh.

"But I was really broken. I am still." - I continued in a saddened tone.

"The only reason I even thought about rejecting Felix was because of you. I love you. You're my one and only and I never wanted to be anyone else's mate. But I don't have a choice. And I can't escape the mate bond." - Elliott replied in a sincere tone.

I moved to hug him and basked in his warmth for a moment.

"No one can escape the mate bond, my darling. And I'd never dream of wanting you to reject your mate." - I told him with a faint smile, looking enamored.

"I've been dying to talk to you. To both of you, in fact." - Felix said, looking at Ash and me with a remorseful gaze.

The bell rang and we all walked inside towards the classroom.

As we walked together, students kept staring at the newly mated couple with surprised faces. Elliott frowned at all the stares.

"I knew it'd be weird going back, but why are they all staring at us like we're freaks?" - Elliott asked in a troubled tone.

"They're not staring because of who you're mated to. They're staring because you've been mated for 2 weeks and haven't completed the bond yet." - I replied, as uncomfortable as humanly possible.

"Oh!" - Both of them gasped at the same time.

"They do know I was straight right until last December, right?" - Felix snorted, uncomfortably.

"That's not how the mate bond works, Alpha." - Ash chimed in, blushing mildly.

"Well, excuse me for not getting into another man's pants while in love with his best friend." - Elliott snickered, making Felix wince at his words.

He turned to look at him.

"I'm sorry for that. But I can't turn off my feelings just because the mate bond got activated." - He apologized to Felix.

"It's fine. I'm not over my girlfriend either." - He replied, making Ash gasp.

"Yeah... This is just as great as I had imagined." - I snickered, as we entered the classroom.

"Hey, I thought there'd be punching. So we're better than I thought." - Felix joked.

"Give it time. The first person who asks me why I'm not marked yet will get it." - Elliott threatened, making all of us gasp. I mean, the entire class who listened to that.

Yeah, this is as painful as I imagined it'd be. This is hurting me a lot. And it'll hurt much still.

But now there's nowhere to go but to heal. I only hope I can survive the deep seeded pain that's coursing trough my whole body right now.

Seeing him and not being able to be with him. Honestly, it's the worst possible feeling in the world.