He remembers how his family would get. Keeping him at home as long as they possibly could, just to spend time with him. He'd be smothered with hugs he never minded as much as he acted like he did, kisses from aunts and grandmas, and of course, his mother, who loves to humiliate him in front of the cousins.

It's always been done with good intent. With the knowledge that they're all comfortable with being at the selected place and that they'll be loved unconditionally. There's always food and warmth and music, with his uncles all singing poorly to an old song Aizawa only recognizes because he visits them so often.

He's got his own family Christmas party tomorrow, in the morning because his grandmother and grandfather are so old they go to bed at three, and a few other relatives have work in the afternoon. He plans to help set up, early in the morning. When the turkey is still being made and it's all his and his dad's privilege to sneak a piece or two out of the oven while mom isn't looking.

He's excited, but first, he's got to get through whatever awaits him at the Todoroki household. He isn't sure what to expect, he knows Todoroki will probably be very quiet about it, very distraught, even if he doesn't want to show it.

Logically speaking, it should be quick. Todoroki's father signed an overnight form. The deadline was 6:30, and they missed that deadline. So, here he is, per Nedzu's policy, driving to pick his student up and bring him to the dorms.

Of course, he's talked with Fuyumi, before. She controls conversation like no other he's met, she knows just is to change a topic smoothly and has a sweet voice that makes you listen, even if you couldn't care less about what's being said. No doubt, she'll put that brain of hers to work, and talk Aizawa's ear off.

He'll consider it 30 minutes.

Not to mention, Todoroki had mentioned his brother being there. Aizawa wants to meet the man, see what he's like, and whether he's good for Todoroki or not.

Add on about ten minutes, he's looking at forty minutes before he's free to take Todoroki and go.

He should consider Endeavor, the man might question him on policies and grading rubrics again, asking how his son is doing and if he seems diligent.

That's another ten or twenty minutes, which means he's looking at about an hour of words he doesn't want to exchange with people.

Stepping out of his car, he sighs, mentally preparing for human contact. He sniffs the air, the atmosphere around the house smelling of food.

Maybe, if he's lucky, he'll get to take a box home with him.

1 hour and 5 minutes.

The walk up an endless flight of stairs fit for a palace is tiring enough to want some food within the next thirty seconds. His stomach growls and he wills the sounds to stop while he's in the presence of such an important family.

(Not that he holds any respect for at least half of them.)

He knocks loudly at the door, so that he can make his own presence known. It's a matter of two full minutes before he raises his fist again. Before it makes contact with the wooden frame of the sliding door, the door slides open, a woman with white and red hair smiling. She looks shocked, her smile a little too tight and wide. Her eyes are puffy, behind her glasses, red and irritated. The sclera of her eyes are veiny and red, and her nose is stuffy as she breaths in.

"Hi! Can I help you?" Her voice is raspy, like she's been overusing it.

Aizawa clears his throat, "Yes, I'm Aizawa Shouta, a teacher from UA's Hero Course." He pauses, sneaking a glance behind the woman to see a man with white hair walking over. She steps aside and he takes his place beside her, holding out his hand.

"Todoroki Natsuo," he introduces himself. Pointing to the woman, "This is Fuyumi."

They both bear resemblance to Todoroki in more ways than one. The woman has his same hair colors, although hers are less symmetrical. Her eyes are blue, just like Todoroki's left. Her build is even similar to his, the way her shoulders aren't very broad and the way she carries herself to be taller than she is.

Natsuo, is built like Endeavor. Even so, his eyes are similar to Todoroki's right. His hair is that bright white, and near his ears are little bleached tufts of hair, not quite the same color as the rest of his head.

"Nice to meet you," he shakes Fuyumi's hand, as well. She's trembling. "Per the agreement that Mr. Todoroki signed, Shouto was supposed to be back at the dorms by 6:30. I'm here to collect him."

Fuyumi looks off to the side, and Natsuo rolls his eyes. Turning around, he cups his hands around his mouth and breaths in a deep breath. "Shouto! Your teacher's here to take you back to school!"

Turning back around, Natsuo gives an apologetic smile. "Sorry, he should be ready to go in a few minutes." He gives a light push to Fuyumi and makes space in the doorway. "Did you want to come in? There's some food inside, we were just putting it away, but it's still pretty warm. Shouto's a cool kid, too. He can heat it up for you, real quick."

Studying Fuyumi, Aizawa thinks something must've happened. He really shouldn't impose.

"No, thank you. I appreciate the offer, but I should really get going with him."

Natsuo nods, "He's pretty quick getting ready, usually. He's probably making space for all of his presents, in his bag."

He stands in the doorway, awkwardly stiff and looking around. Aizawa grunts and he stuffs his hands in his pockets to protect from the cold. He looks up at the gutters of the house, eyes trailing up to the second story, where no lights are on. "It's a nice house, you've got. The most traditional I've seen in modern cities like Shizuoka."

Natsuo looks out at the side of the house. "Yup. Place belongs in a museum."

So, he seems... casual. Comfortable when talking to people.

Nice, is the word that Aizawa wants to use, but the stories of this house and its residents horrify him, still.

Fuyumi slips away, turning down a hall and disappearing. Natsuo sighs, "Sorry about her, she's had a rough night."

Aizawa hums, "Something happen?"

Natsuo shakes his head, exhaling so deep Aizawa thinks he might not take another breath in. "Her and Shouto fought about some old stuff, it's all still just fresh wounds." He looks behind him again, concern in his features. "I'm sure they'll talk, make up and apologize. Some of its just sibling stuff, you know?"

Aizawa has a feeling that whatever really happened, was a lot worse than what Natsuo's giving him.

He nods.

"You know," Natsuo starts, "Endeavor's here if you wanted to talk to-"

Aizawa's heart drops at the same time Natsuo stops talking. A woman's shrill scream, one that sounds like Fuyumi's voice, comes from inside of the house. Instincts kick in, and both men take off past the genkan without taking their shoes off, speeding into the hall, where Fuyumi is running to Natsuo, before stopping in front of them and holding her hands out. She's babbling, and Aizawa gasps when he sees her hands, blood smeared on one and both shaking so furiously it's like she's vibrating.

Natsuo tries to draw an explanation out of her, tries to get her to calm down by soothing her and petting her shoulders. Aizawa walks past them, abandons all household manners and runs down the hall toward a room with an open door. It smells awful, like vomit and things Aizawa can't even describe. He steels himself, stepping into the room.

...

It's like walking in on a horror scene. Like everything has turned dark and shadowy, except for bright red hair and bright scarlet blood. He slowly approaches the mass on the ground, limbs refusing to listen to his brain and hurry to help him. Aizawa stands over his student, unshed tears settled on the edges of his eyelids and terror in his posture.

Todoroki is... he doesn't look well. He looks... he looks...

Aizawa kneels down, the world returning back to its normal speed and the colors in the room flooding his senses and turning back to normal. He presses his fingers into Todoroki's neck, he doesn't feel anything. He moves the position of his fingers, and faintly, hardly there, he feels the beating of a heart that is working too slowly.

"Todoroki," Aizawa utters, air caught in his throat. "Todoroki," and he can't get anything else out. What was he even planning on saying? Would Todoroki even hear him?

There is sobbing down the hall, and Aizawa has forgotten all of his first responder training. He doesn't know what he's supposed to do. He doesn't know-

"Fuck! What... what the hell?!"

Natsuo kneels down next to him, assessing the situation much better than Aizawa is capable of doing and yelling for Fuyumi to call an ambulance. The first thing he does is turn his brother over, grabbing his right leg and bending it upward. He grabs Todoroki's right arm, too, lifting his head and supporting it on his hand. Vomit falls to the ground from Todoroki's mouth, and it doesn't do much to scare Natsuo away.

He puts one knee on either side of his little brother, leaning him forward just slightly, and hitting his back firmly, and managing to get a few small, weak coughs from Todoroki. Fuyumi slides the door open fully, shining light into the room while she asks shaky questions to Natsuo.

With better lighting, it looks even worse than before. Todoroki is pale, skin slicked with sweat, and vomit falling out of his hung open mouth. His eyes are nearly all the way rolled to the back of his head, and what Aizawa can see of his pupils, are dilated and dull. His right arm is bloody, his left hand with blood smeared on it, but no wound. He's shaking, tears falling from his eyes as he lays there limply, body jolting with each firm strike to his back.

"Shouto! Wake up, damn it! What the hell?!"

"Natsu... Natsuo. They're asking if- if he's responsive," Fuyumi stutters out, phone held to her ear.

Natsuo doesn't hear her over his own voice, and so Aizawa finally, finally acts. He scoots in front of Todoroki and taps his cheek, just bordering on a smack. "Todoroki, can you hear me," he feigns his usual gritty voice, hiding away the true fear he feels. He turns to Fuyumi when he receives no response, shaking his head. "Tell them he's unresponsive."

A sob tears from her mouth and she tries her best to answer more questions. Aizawa turns his attention back to Natsuo and Todoroki, "What can I do?"

Natsuo is still patting Todoroki's back firmly, stress on his brow and concern in his eyes. "There's not much we can do except wait for an ambulance. I don't know... I don't know what's wrong with him."

Aizawa winces at the truthfulness. He did not expect this, visiting the Todoroki household. Not this, a million other things, but not this.

He looks around, looking for a weapon that could've been the reason for all the blood. He sees no metal, no knife.

Only two bottles, one open and empty, the other a quarter filled.

Tears rush to his eyes despite the adrenaline. He scrambles forward, grabbing both bottles and putting the cap on the one still full. He reads the descriptions on the front: It's ibuprofen and... and quirk suppressants? Why is he taking quirk suppressants?

Natsuo meets his shocked gaze with his own startle eyes. Tears running down the side of his face, he bites back a sob, looking down at his brother while he continues to strike his back, trying to clear his airways. "Did he... why..."

Aizawa shakes his head, "We can't worry about it right now, he's still alive so we can still help."

Natsuo stuffs his face into his elbow, a cut-off sob leaving his throat. When he lowers his arm a minute later, he shakes his head rapidly and sighs. "Okay, okay. This is... if he overdosed, we can't do much. He might start seizing... that's when we start a timer and keep his head safe." Natsuo pauses, voice shuddering. "If his heart stops, it means he's entered cardiac arrest and we'll need to do CPR."

Aizawa nods, swallowing thickly. "Okay. Do you need anything?"

Natsuo looks over Todoroki again, eying his right arm. "A washcloth and... and..." he lets a shaky breath out, working past a stutter. "A bowl of water. And then... tell Fuyumi to give me the phone and go wake Endeavor up. He knows where the first aid is, and Shouto's got a burn or something on his arm."

Aizawa stands, legs weak and wobbly. "Okay. Will you be alright alone?"

Natsuo nods, wiping tears from his eyes with his sleeve.

Aizawa does his best to prioritize. An ambulance should be here, soon, hopefully. He walks outside, where Fuyumi is at the edge of the steps, watching for an ambulance. She's actively sobbing, ignoring the soothing reassurances on the other end of the phone. Aizawa clears his throat, "Natsuo says he needs the phone, and for you to wake Endeavor."

She meets his eyes, before averting her gaze and nodding, running off inside. Aizawa follows after her, speedily, his bones aching with a need for rest and to not have to deal with this. This, out of all things.

He finds the bathroom fairly quickly, searching through a closet inside for any washcloths. He doesn't find any, digging through piles of neatly folded, monotoned towels. Settling for a normal-sized towel, he rushes out into the kitchen, searching each cabinet until he finds ceramic bowls. He throws the towel over his shoulder, taking a bowl and filling it with water. He doesn't worry about the temperature, he doesn't think it would matter.

Returning to the room, he hears breathing, labored into grunts and gasps. Cursing, Natsuo crying and swearing to himself.

Aizawa drops the bowl when he fully enters the room, the shattering doesn't make a sound in his ears, not like it should. He practically sprints to where Natsuo is sat next to Todoroki, holding his head in his hands and watching the timer on his phone reach the one-minute mark.

Aizawa clenches his jaw, "Wha... is he..."

Natsuo only nods, now looking down at his brother. Todoroki's eyes are moving rapidly around in his head, fully open and teary. He's still sweating profusely, gasping for air and letting out little gasps and snorts of air. His jaw is twitching uncontrollably, saliva running out of his mouth and coating his chin. His entire body is moving just slightly, in little twitches all over.

Aizawa looks to the phone, and even though he can see the timer moving, changing its numbers as it should be, it seems so slow. The jolts of Todoroki's body, the soft pets Natsuo gives to his little brother's hair, telling him he'll be okay. Telling himself that Todoroki will be okay.

Soon enough, there are paramedics filling the room, three of them. Aizawa is ushered away, his student left to be crowded by more trained and capable people.

It's a blur, he doesn't know when they were able to lift Todoroki onto a gurney, but he's there, more still than before but still very limp and dead-eyed. Natsuo climbs into the ambulance with him, yelling something out to his sister and to a sleepy, startled Endeavor. The ambulance doors are closed, and Aizawa finds he hates the silence of night more than ever.

He drives to the hospital alone, behind Fuyumi and Endeavor. He already contacted Nedzu, gave him the details on everything he'd seen and told him that Todoroki won't be returning to the dorms for a while, and neither will he.

They are ushered to a waiting room, and Aizawa manages to slip away upon entering, finding a vending machine and digging into his pockets for his wallet. It's a miracle he didn't lose it during the events that unraveled and choked him by the neck. He selects a premium black coffee, stuffing ¥150 into the coin slot and listening for the metal clanking of his purchase rolling down into the retrieval space. It takes no time for him to open it and start downing the drink.

It tastes bitter, not in the satisfying way his usual homemade coffees do. It's cold and not hot, because of course it is. That's his luck today. He can't ever catch a break and this coffee tastes like chemicals with perfume aftertastes, and he's freezing cold because he hadn't planned to be out all night, just for an hour and five minutes. To talk unwanted conversations and take some food onto a plate. But his student overdosed... he overdosed.

Oh god, why hadn't he paid more attention? If he'd told a counselor- someone with better than minimal training... maybe Todoroki wouldn't have tried to... to...

A large hand grounds him, settling firmly on his shoulder. It brings him back down to earth enough that he feels how fast he's breathing, the tears coming down from his eyes, and the trembling of a loss of adrenaline.

Endeavor stands in front of him, eyes tired and red with unshed tears. He nods, "It's going to be fine."

Endeavor's the older man, he's got ten or fifteen years on Aizawa. Aizawa feels like a kid, standing next to him, crying. Panicking because he could've helped and he didn't, he didn't do enough.

Endeavor's hand moves from Aizawa's shoulder to his back, and he gently nudges him to walk down the hall. They aren't going near where the waiting room is, where Natsuo and Fuyumi are waiting to hear any news about their brother.

Endeavor sits at a bench lining the hall, and Aizawa joins him. He doesn't forget the things Todoroki's told him. He doesn't forget that Endeavor is at fault for this, too.

"I've stood in the face of many things," he says, voice deep and grumbling. "Twenty seven years, I've fought as a hero. I've lost a child before," he confesses, swallowing dryly.

"This is far more terrifying," he finishes, clenching his fists. "Not knowing if Shouto will be okay, and knowing that... that he wanted an out so badly-"

"We don't know that," he whispers, rubbing his eyes and sipping from his coffee. Tears fall from his eyes and down his cheeks, into the metal lip of the can. "It could've been a mistake. He might not have known."

Endeavor takes a deep breath that sounds more like he's trying not to sob, than soothing himself. "I know I put Shouto through a lot. I'm not sure if you've heard..." and Aizawa nods, not wanting to have a retelling of the horror story belonging to Shouto Todoroki.

"He told me."

Endeavor winces, "...how much?"

Aizawa can't help the way his gaze hardens. "Everything and then some."

Endeavor slouches, eyes glazing over with tears and expression turning neutral. "And?"

Aizawa furrows his brow, "And my disgust for you is unmatched." He sets his coffee on the ground next to him, crossing his arms. "But I don't think this is the time for lectures, do you?"

Endeavor lets out a teary laugh. "No, it isn't. I'm here for Shouto, all of us are."

Aizawa nods, steeling his nerves and sighing. "So when," if, "he wakes up, let's be there for him."

Endeavor nods, and both men stand, returning to Natsuo and Fuyumi, who're just as teary-eyed as them.

—————————————————

It brings back memories, being at the hospital.

It reminds Natsuo of being nine, watching his mother disappear with the scariest men besides Endeavor, that he's seen. He remembers being questioned by the police, because his mom had done something bad, and that's all Endeavor would tell him and Fuyumi.

It wasn't long after Touya's death, that mom burned Shouto. But then, Natsuo remembers it feeling a lot like his childhood was made up of just those two things. Just the abuse leading up to Touya's death, and the abuse leading up to Mom snapping.