KIMBERLY

next week recovering from the intense withdrawal symptoms.

I kept telling myself that once I made it through the first week, I'd feel better.

The pure agony and pain that came with withdrawal had me thinking otherwise. I was regretting my decision to go full on cold-turkey this time around, but I wanted to completely purge the hard drugs from my system.

The only thing I couldn't stop was drinking. I was trying—very hard, might I add—but a few days without alcohol had me breaking out in cold sweats, barely able to make it out of bed because of the intense headache that crashed my system.

On the third day of the week, Jace offered to stay home to look after me, but I shooed him away. I had limits to how fucked up I wanted people to see me, and the constant stream of vomit wasn't cute.

I still felt the remnants of the hold that my relapse held on me after the week was up, but I was better.

I didn't feel the need to dope myself up to get through the day, which was an improvement in my book.

Spending the last week sick meant that I didn't call anyone to apologize about my relapse after doing so well for so long, but as I stood outside of my old apartment, I wished I called ahead.

Who am I kidding?

Vivian's more than a best friend. She's my sister... my soulmate, and sure she's mad as hell at me, but I didn't need to be scared.

For fuck's sake, woman up, Kim.

I raised my fist to knock on her bedroom door. I still had my keycard, which allowed me to access the direct elevator to the penthouse; however, considering I haven't spoken to her or seen her in over a month, I didn't know how she would react to me just waltzing in like nothing happened.

I released the pent up tension through a breath when I heard the knob move. The door opened and Vivian's eyes widened before she shut the door in my face.

What the fuck just happened?

Suddenly, the door opened again and Vivian launched herself into my arms. "I'm going to kill you."

"I know," I replied, savoring the feeling of hugging my other half.

♕♕♕

I carried her back into the living room before we both just laid together on the couch, holding onto each other.

This was the longest time I've gone without talking to her since I took a year off of school to travel around Europe and model. It was a rough time in my life, and like now, I couldn't bear for her to see me like this.

"Are you clean?" she asked with her head against my chest before moving herself to look at my eyes, checking to see if my pupils were dilated or if I was lying.

"Drugs, hopefully yes. Alcohol, trying," I answered honestly.

She nodded, relieved at my admission. "If you ever go back to Ball & Chain, I will literally murder you."

I laughed, hugging her again and promising that I'll try. I didn't want to guarantee anything that I wasn't confident I'd be able to do. She didn't deserve to have me say one thing and then break down and do something else.

She deserved better than this.

She deserved better than me.

We spent the hour talking about everything that's been going on for the last month. I asked her about everyone that I ghosted, scared to approach most of them again. She told me all about what happened, from the dealings of the business to how everyone felt about my sudden withdrawal from society.

According to Vivian, Jace was the one who kept my drug issue out of the tabloids. And, not only did he keep it out of the tabloids, but he kept many details hidden from our parents.

Something that I was extremely grateful for.

The sound of the elevator doors opening caused me to scrunch my eyebrows in confusion. "Are you expecting someone?"

"Shit," Vivian cursed. "I think that's Ashton and Camelia. Ash has a midterm coming up that he wanted my help studying for. Do you want me to tell them to leave?"

I shook my head. "No, I think it's time for me to face my baby cousin."

"It's your death wish." We got up to go answer the door. "Keep in mind, he's more mad at you than I am."

Okay, maybe I'm not as ready as I think I am.

They walked into the living room, the couple's mouths dropping at the sight of me. Camelia snapped out of it before Ashton and gave me a tight hug.

"I'm glad you're okay," she spoke softly. Once upon a time, I teased the shit out of Ashton for falling in love with someone's voice, but I completely understood once I met her. She had a softness to her voice, a softness that made you feel so genuinely cared for.

A softness that my rigid cousin needed. Speaking of the guy, he still stood there with a neutral face, not even moving an inch forward.

"Sweetheart," he addressed Camelia. "Please pinch me."

Lia obliged with a small laugh, while Ashton rubbed the spot she just pinched before looking up again.

"Fuck you." He pulled me into a hug, resting his chin on top of my head. "Fuck you for doing that to us. Fuck you for not coming to us. Fuck you, Kim. I missed you so much, so fuck you for that too. Especially after what happened when we were... Don't ever ignore my calls ever again or I swear I'll kill you."

Tears pricked my eyes as I held onto the cousin who I loved like a brother. To the cousin I swore I wouldn't let down after what happened back then.

"I'm sorry, Ashy," I used the nickname he hated from our childhood.

He tightened his hold and gave me one final squeeze before releasing me. "I don't want you to apologize, but I want you to not fucking do that again. Or, at least, don't shut us out like that. Having to go to Jace to get information about you was weird, man. Honestly, you're lucky you married him because he would text Vivian and I each night when you got back home."

He did what?

Seeing my confusion, Ashton continued, "Yeah, he did. I have the messages from random hours of the night to prove it. Not only that. You know I suck at lying to our family, so Jace took it upon himself to give selective details about your state. When Audie asked about you, he lied and told her that you were fine and just moping around at home so she wouldn't see you in a bad light again. That's so much for one guy to carry, especially since he's running two companies."

"Ash," Camelia tugged on his arm. "I think she gets it."

Jace did all that for me? No, it's because of the contract.

The contract. The fake marriage. The business alliance.

Don't overthink it, Kim.

If I fuck things up, it's bad for all of us. And, I was severely close to fucking it all up.

Ashton listened to his girlfriend and entered further into the apartment.

The four of us fell into our usual patterns before the cursed month and marriage.

Ash and Vivian were sitting in the living room, Vivian asking rapid questions and berating Ashton when he got something wrong. The latter would yell right back but flinch when Vivian gave him the stare.

Camelia and I started speaking to each other in Japanese so she could work on her conversational fluency. This wasn't the first time that I've tutored someone in another language, but Lia had an unmatched motivation.

"I need to learn as much as possible to make up for the last month," Camelia suddenly switched to English. "The trip to Japan for Spring Break is coming up so soon. I don't know if I want to celebrate or throw up."

I opened the fridge to heat up some food for a late lunch. "Why? Is everything okay?"

"Well, my mom and Lucas are joining us. It's the first time we're all traveling together, but they love Ash, so it should be fine. It's just... my mom called me last week to tell me that my grandparents are also coming," she sighed. "I shouldn't complain. I'm happy that they're moving on, but I just... you know?"

I didn't know the full story, but Camelia had a rocky relationship with her grandmother. And, by rocky, I mean Rocky Mountains level rocky.

I guess grandmother-issues didn't evade anyone.

"Yeah," I replied. "But, remember that you don't owe anyone anything. If they make you uncomfortable at any point, take Ashy and explore Japan. Put your happiness first, Lia. Sure, it's easier said than done, but this is your vacation too."

"You're right."

"I know."

"You and Ash are definitely cousins," she laughed. "But, how are you, Kim? And, none of that 'I'm fine' stuff."

"This stays between us, right?" She nodded. "I'm... mad at myself."

"For?" she gently prodded.

I let out a shaky breath, feeling tears come to the forefront of my eyes. "Everything. How my reaction to the news was slightly out-of-proportion. How I resorted to the one thing that I promised I wouldn't start using again. How I disappointed everyone. How I made everyone worry. How I don't know if I can actually stop. Like I said, everything."

"No one blames you for using again. Can I offer some unsolicited advice?" I nodded. "First, learn some better coping mechanisms. Second, don't feel the need to shut everyone out because you're scared of disappointing them. Third, stop trying to force yourself to feel a certain way or thinking that you're going to relapse again. Be proud of yourself when you sober up instead of waiting to mess up again."

"Will you marry me?"

Camelia let out a loud laugh. "As much as I am honored that you offered, I'm kinda in love with your cousin. And, I don't think your husband will approve."

"You know it's fake," I replied.

She half-heartedly shrugged. "Theoretically, it is. But Jace doesn't seem all too bad. What's wrong with it becoming real?"

No. I can't do that to him. I made a promise. I made a promise I swore I would keep.

"You're just saying he's not bad because you think he's hot," I retorted. "He's a real asshole when you get to know him."

Was he though?

Holy shit. Shut up, Kim.

"Who's hot?" Ashton entered the kitchen, going to his girlfriend. "It better be me."

"Of course it's you, baby," Camelia kissed Ashton's cheek after shooting me a 'please don't say anything' look.

"Are you sure?" Lia sent me a panicked look, increasing my amusement. "Because I recall talking about Ja-"

"I knew it!" Ashton turned to Lia with an accusing frown. Ugh, disgusting.

Camelia held Ash's face and began peppering kisses over his face. At the affection, Ashton's frown turned into a reluctant smile. Even more disgusting.

"Ash, even you think he's attractive," Camelia tried reasoning. "I mean..."

Ashton shrugged in agreement. "He is good-looking, I guess."

"See," Lia laughed, pulling him for another kiss. "But I still think you're the hottest guy on the planet."

"Good."

The two of them start kissing and I audibly gag. "Get a room, nasties."

"We'll use your old one," Ashton snapped, ducking when I threw my slipper at him.

Camelia laughed at our antics, and even Vivan entered with a small smile on her face. Ashton pretended to be injured to get another kiss from his girlfriend, and I threatened him with another slipper.

But, deep down, I missed that. Being in love.

I missed it more than I cared to admit.

♕♕♕

It was pretty late when I got back to the townhouse. Time seemed to just pass when I was with the three of them. And, now that I was feeling better, I needed something to do so I wouldn't be tempted to go out again.

To my surprise, Jace's Aston Martin was sitting in the driveway when my uber dropped me off.

What's he doing at home right now?

For the last week, he's been coming back really late because of some problems with Laurent's company, so I was shocked to see him home at this time.

I unlocked the door and was immediately hit with the smell of pasta and seafood.

"Hey," I greeted, walking into the kitchen. "What are you doing here so early?"

Jace was still dressed in his work clothes but was standing in front of the stove with an apron on. "You're back," he stated, ignoring my question.

"Yeah, it was nice seeing them." I sat on one of the stools.

Jace took out two plates and put them down in front of us before putting a serving of the shrimp scampi on both of our plates. "Them?"

"Ash and Lia came by Vivi's apartment too," I answered. "This looks amazing, Jace."

"It's my mom's recipe," he replied before pointing to the food. "Eat."

A simple thank you would have sufficed.

Regardless, I still picked up a perfect bite with pasta and shrimp before putting it in my mouth. Luckily, I didn't start crying this time, but nodded instead. "I need to learn how to make this."

"What's stopping you?" I sent him a glare at his snarky comment. "Fine, I'll teach you one day."

I smiled gratefully at his offer, but he responded by rolling his eyes. What crawled up his butt and died?

Stop, don't think about his butt.

Shit... I was thinking about his butt.

"How are you feeling?" he suddenly asked, taking my attention away from the delectable ass that looked phenomenal in his dress pants. For fuck's sake...

"Fine." I narrowed my eyes at his curious expression. There was something else he wasn't telling me and—if the events of the last month proved anything—I don't like being in the dark. "Why?"

"Nothing." He shrugged nonchalantly, returning to his food.

Once we both finished dinner in silence, I took both of our plates to the sink to wash them. The second I placed the last dish on the drying rack, Jace came up behind me.

I didn't even hear him get up because of the running sink, but I didn't need to hear him to feel his overbearing presence. "Yes?" My voice came up shakier than intended, but I couldn't help the severe attraction I felt for his body, especially when said body was right behind me.

"Do you want to come back with me to the office tomorrow?" he asked with a husky edge.

The way my body reacted to the sound prevented me from fully processing his words.

What?

I turned around immediately regretting the decision when his arms trapped me against the sink.

Holy veins...

"I can't," I breathed out. "The board members said I'm supposed to stay away from all the business shit for the investors' sake."

"No one's going to dare tell me that I can't have my wife in the office," he retorted. "Plus, I'd prefer to keep an eye on you rather than leaving you here alone everyday."

For some reason, his words ticked me off. I know I went overboard, but I didn't need him to babysit me to make sure I stayed clean. I made it a week without using any hard drugs, and I was fine.

Camelia was right. I should be proud of myself.

"I don't need you to babysit me," I snarled, moving away from him. "I can stay clean on my own."

He groaned, "I didn't mean it like that, Kimberly."

"How else should I possibly take it?" At this point, I was fed up and desperate to get away.

"Listen." I heard his footsteps following me down the hallway, but I still didn't oblige.

Jace repeated the word again, a little angrier this time, but I wasn't going to listen. Suddenly, a strong arm grabbed my waist and pulled me against the wall. There was barely any space between us and I could feel every part of him.

Fuck him for that.

Yeah, fuck him... please.

"What?" I gritted through my teeth.

"For some unknown reason, I respect you as a businesswoman. I don't give a shit about what the board said because they didn't bother including me in the final decision either. So, I'm extending you the offer of joining me tomorrow," he replied sternly.

Was I ready to go back? I mean, thankfully, no one knew what I was up to in the last few weeks, but they still didn't respect me and that was enough to turn me off from the offer. But, on the other hand, working made me want to be sober. It was a win-lose situation.

"Fine," I reluctantly agreed. "Jackass."

"How am I a jackass?" His eyes roamed around my burning face. "And why is that your only insult?"

I squirmed in his grasp, eyes widening when I felt his bulge press into my core. Holy fuck.

With as much restraint as I could muster, I replied, "Jace the jackass has a nice ring to it. But don't insinuate needing to babysit me. I know I fucked up, okay. I know I haven't quit drinking. But I'm trying. I'm fucking trying, jackass."

Jace stayed silent, his hold on me staying strong. "One of these days, I'm gonna fuck that attitude right out of you."

"Do it. No balls."

He let out a low chuckle and released me. "We leave at eight-thirty. So, you better be ready on time."

"I will."

***

her recovery is a lengthy process, but at least it's there. i really wanted to emphasis the importance of being proud of yourself. it's so easy to get boggled down by everyone's expectations, but no one else matters at the end of the day.

stop being hard on yourself. you're doing great.

i hope y'all enjoyed the chapter!

love, zia.