off and I let myself fall to pieces in the hall between the bar and the bathroom. I don't care that I'm getting odd looks from the people walking by. I don't care that I'm sitting on the sticky floor of a bar. I don't care about any of it, because all I care about is the fact that Luke is across the country and I'm not, but I should be.

My head feels fuzzy as the buzz soaks into my skin. There's a numbness in the edge of my fingers as I lean my head back, lifting my gaze to the roof. I'm instantly met with a dizziness as my name floats through the air.

"Maggie, she's over here!"

I lower my eyes until they land on Zane as he heads in my direction, kneeling down in front of me with a soft look on his face. The corner of his lips curl up into something gentle as he rests his hands on my knees, squeezing them.

"How you doing, Emmy?" he asks.

"Hi," I say in a soft tone as I rest my head back.

He flashes a grin. "Hi."

"How did you know I was here?"

"Charlie," Maggie answers my question as she settles on the floor next to me. My brows twist together in confusion causing her to laugh. "I thought the same thing when he called," she says as she leans into me. "What's going on?"

"Clark made me go home," I tell her.

"Because you're going to work yourself to death," Maggie says.

I close my eyes as I rest my head on her shoulder. "I called Charlie."

"We know," Zane says.

"I told him it's his fault that I'm so broken right now," I say as I squeeze my eyes shut, fighting the tears, "but it's not. It's no one's fault but my own."

"You're not broken," Zane argues. "I've seen broken people, Emery. You aren't one of them. You're just... bent," he says. "Bent things can be fixed."

"Why can't I just let myself be there?" I whisper.

"I don't think you ever fully committed yourself to Charlie," Maggie says as she twists on the floor to face me. "He never fully had you the way Luke does."

I blink back tears as I take her outstretched hand. "I'm such a mess."

She grins at me in that bright Maggie way that usually makes everything better. It should make my life a tiny bit more colorful, but it doesn't. My body still feels like ice as I watch her with a careful gaze. "Maybe so, but you're our mess," she says, squeezing my hand. "Can we take you home?"

I nod my head even though it's the last place I want to be, and it's all they need for Zane to grab my hands and help me up onto my unsteady feet. His arm moves around my waist to support my weight as I stumble into him, reminding myself that four shots isn't a good idea when there's no food in my stomach.

"When's the last time you had something to eat?" he asks.

I shrug my shoulders because the truth is I don't remember. When Maggie left, the rest of the world shut off and I sunk into a world that wasn't here. It's what I do, and I've gotten dangerously good at it.

"Liz," I say, pointing toward the bar. "I have to pay."

"I've got it," Maggie says. "Bubba, you'll get her to the car."

"Yeah," Zane says, nodding his head as he moves my arm around his shoulder to hold me steady. "Come on, Em. Let's get you out to the car."

"Okay," I mumble quietly as I let him guide me towards the door and out onto the street. His grip tightening on my waist when I stumble on the sidewalk, his hold keeping me from falling to the ground. "Zane?" I ask.

"What's up?" he asks as he gets to his truck on the side of the road, reaching for the door.

"How did you know you were going to spend your life with Maggie?" I ask. "When you knew she was the one," I say and meet his eyes. "How did you know?"

"My mom used to tell me that when you know, you know," he says as he helps me into the passenger seat. "It's not really something you can explain. I just... she came into my life, and I knew it was never going to be the same ever again. I wouldn't want it to be."

I watch him carefully as my lips curl up. "She's your person."

"Yeah," he says. "She's my person."

"She doing okay?" Maggie ask as she joins us, her hand slide up Zane's arm as she stops next to him. Zane doesn't answer with a word, he simply nods his head as he presses his lips to the side of her head before moving to close the door.

I lean into the seat as Zane moves to open the backseat, opening for Maggie to climb in before rounding the front of the truck. He slides into the driver's seat and shoots me a small smile as he starts the engine, pulling away from the curb.

"You hungry, Em?" he asks.

I shake my head.

"You should probably eat something," Maggie says as she moves to the middle of the bench. "It'll help."

"It won't," I mumble, closing my eyes. "I just want to go to sleep."

"Okay," Zane says. "Let's just get you home."

The only thing I can hear is the sound of tires on the pavement, and it soothes whatever part of me is newly breaking. My brows knot together as I try to stay above water, but I lose myself as Zane pulls up outside my apartment building. I let myself drown as they both climb out, helping me down to the sidewalk and into the building.

Maggie digs through my bag for my keys, sliding them into the lock and without even meaning to my eyes move across the hall until they land on the 4B hanging on the door. I wait and I wait, and I watch the door, hoping that it'll open and he'll step out. And the second the thought comes, I'm hit with another wave of guilt as I step into my apartment.

I keep filling myself up with guilt for wishing anything but success for him.

When we step into my apartment, Maggie helps me get cleaned up and changed into a pair of pajamas, and then bed. The mattress dips under my weight as I lay back, watching Maggie as she sits on the edge and runs her hand over my knee.

"I'm a pathetic excuse of a human."

She smiles. "You're a heartbroken human."

"I'm a pathetic heartbroken human who wouldn't be so heartbroken if I could just go there," I mumble. "Why can't I go there, Maggie? Why can't I just be with him?"

"Try and get some rest, Em," she says, ignoring my question as she rubs her thumb over my knee. "I'll come by in the morning, okay?"

"Thank you, Mags." I smile as I curl into my pillow, hiding my face against the harsh hallway lights. Her hand moves to mine, giving it a tight squeeze. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she says. "I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

I nod my head as she stands, letting my eyes flutter shut as she steps into the hall outside my bedroom and the light goes out. My heart settling in my chest when the door closes behind them. When I shut my eyes, I hope sleep will soon follow but the longer I lay there with my eyes squeezed tightly shut the harder it is to believe that it'll find its way to me. I hope and pray that I don't backpedal, but I know it's hopeless.

I'm hopeless.

I'm falling back into old cycles that I had broken. I'm falling back into the broken person I was, not the one I am. I stopped being that person the second I met Luke and I won't go back.

I can't.

Turning onto my side, I reach for my nightstand until my phone in between my fingers and I slowly turn onto my back as I dial his number. My heart races with each second that it rings, fearing that he won't pick up.

"4A," he answers the phone and I can picture the smirk on his face. "Hi."

I close my eyes and savor the sound of his voice. "Say that again."

"What?" His laugh coating my bones. "4A?"

I nod my head, squeezing my eyes shut. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too," he says. "So much."

"I didn't think it was possible to miss a person this much," I mumble. "I don't like how this feels, Luke. I don't like missing you."

He sighs. "I know."

"Are you happy?" I ask.

"It's not all what I thought it was going to be."

"It isn't?"

"No, I thought I'd be doing this with the guys," he admits. "I spend most of my time in the studio writing song after song, but none of it feels right. It's not the same, and then there's you. I didn't account for you in my dream. You've made this ten times more complicated."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he says. "God, don't be. 4A, I wouldn't change a damn thing that's happened with us. This is complicated beyond belief, but it's so worth it and it's not going to be like this forever, I promise."

I nod, but I can't shake the feeling that it might be. "Someone moved into your apartment," I mumble. "When I first saw him, I thought he was you."

"Don't tell me I've got competition."

A pained laugh falls from my lips as I shake my head. "He called me 4A," I whisper. "And I went inside, and cried myself asleep. This... being away from you, it hasn't been easy, Luke. I just... I hate it."

"Emery..."

"You're my person."

"Your person?" he asks.

I nod my head. "My person," I repeat. "I'd wait for you forever."

"I won't make you wait forever."

My lips curl up as the background noise flutters in. "Do you have to go?" I ask when I hear his name being called.

"No," he says. "Not yet."

"Will you stay on the phone with me until I fall asleep?"

"Yeah, I can do that."

I open my eyes long enough to put my phone on speaker as I set it on the pillow next, keeping him close as I hold my comforter tighter around my body. He doesn't say anything right away, and he doesn't have to and when I think it won't matter. I won't sleep the way I did when he was around, the soft strum of his guitar fills my room and is soon followed by the lull of his voice. It coats me in his warmth as sleep pulls me under.