Loala,

Loala,

Loala.

The name seemed to follow me everywhere I went after that. I couldn't get it out of my head, it had even started to slip in my dreams and I thought I would die. Call it jealousy or what but I wanted to scratch the bitch's face. Some part of me blamed her for getting kidnapped and just as I realized hours ago she was the girl that had my man going crazy at just the mention of her name.

Your man, my inner voice said laughing at me but I pushed it back.

I know I was being stupid, she didn't do anything but I just couldn't help it. After that moment Rafael turned sour, he left the kitchen and locked himself up in his office. I sat there in shock staring at the opened door shocked at what had happened. I wanted to scream, to cry, to do anything but I didn't. I didn't know what happened really. My mind couldn't find an explanation or maybe it did but I just didn't want it. I didn't want it to be true. My heart was breaking again.

Deep down I knew that if he would have to choose it would be her-the girl without a face.

Why had I asked that question?

It had just popped up and I was curious, I didn't know it would set up a tsunami.

Part of me waited hoping he would come back, maybe he just went to grab his phone or some spice but nothing. The food burned on the stove and after thirty minutes I switched off the stove and threw the pot in the sink literally. I walked off to our room and sat on the bed still dumbfounded. In my mind I kept on playing back the scene when he turned and told me her name. I swear he could have murdered me for talking about her or even calling her 'the girl'.

I suddenly remembered the first day he had seen me, he had called me a filthy bitch whilst he had called her his beautiful angel.

You will always be second best, my inner voice said and my heart shattered.

That night I had slept alone in the big bed, I felt cold and deserted. My dreams were filled with a girl without a face, she just stood there. She didn't have to do a thing but it seemed like my world crushed with her just standing there.

I woke up panting heavily my body soaked with sweat. My eyes dashed to the side to find it empty. The darkness seeped into the room leaving me to wrap my arms around my body a shiver going down my spine the clock which hung on the wall reading two in the morning. Not even the TV could destruct me after that all that clouded my mind was Loala. I tried to let her not get under my skin but she crawled there without even trying. At that point I realized that I was so fuck'n in love with Rafael and it killed me. I asked myself so many times how it could have happened but it did. It was so dark and twisted that I'd fall so deeply in love with the man who took everything from me.

The pain of loving someone who didn't love you.

I cried.

I had never cried so hard.

Lord knows I cried.

I couldn't stop, wouldn't stop. I just cried.

After hours and hours I started throwing things around, anything, and everything. My hands were bleeding, my feet were bleeding, and my legs were bleeding.

I couldn't stop, I didn't stop.

Things flew around, breaking. At a point I started kicking and punching the bathroom door screaming. I hit it until it had a large hole then I moved to my next target. The door flew open as I was ripping pages from a book, next thing the book flee across the room almost hitting its target. I picked another one and tossed it but he dodged it again. Behind him stood two guards afraid to even peek through.

One of the guards got hit by a massive book as Rafael dodged it.

"Stop!" Rafael shouted his voice strong and demanding but it didn't faze me as I picked up a vase from the floor and threw it. I heard it smash on the wall just next to him, watched him shake angrily as a side lamp followed suit almost hitting him.

No one dared to take another step.

"See what you've done to me!" I shouted throwing another side lamp.

"You have turned me psycho!" A vase flew to the door hitting another guard.

"Is this what you wanted?"

The floor was filled with broken glass and furniture, every part of the floor was covered with a shred of something. Suddenly realizing that there was nothing more to throw I screamed. I screamed as if my lungs had caught fire. I could not take it anymore, I was losing my mind, I was losing my heart and sadly I had long lost myself. The pain, it was too much, it engulfed my heart squeezing harder with each passing second leaving me gasping for breath tears clouding my vision. Rafael rushed towards me, tip toeing. The guards followed slowly as if afraid, one bleeding on the right cheek.

"Stop," Rafael said holding me, his arms locked together at my back. I couldn't move my arms so I started shifting in his embrace, fighting for release.

"Why did you make me love you? Why do you keep on breaking my heart?" He stilled, He just froze. I'm not sure even if he blinked.

He held me tight as fresh tears poured down.

"Why am I so weak?" I asked broken as I sobbed.

"Shh, you not weak, you just have a big heart." He whispered against my hair as he hugged me, pulling me to his chest.

"I.....I don't want it!" I said firmly.

"Shh, I'm sorry baby,"

He had picked me up and carried me to a spare bedroom where he had silently cleaned my wounds then held me until I drifted to sleep.

I woke up that morning and I was in a white bed, laying comfortably with a blanket wrapped around my body, tucked as if I was a new born baby. The room I was in was weird, slowly I got off the bed to realise that I was now wearing my black sweat pants and a white jersey along with white socks. Every inch of my body was aching and it took so much will power to walk to the door. I opened the door and stared perplexed.

I was in a plane.

Rafael sat on one of the chairs typing an email on his laptop.

I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to talk to him but seems like my luck ran out because he just turned and looked at me. He stared at me, really stared. I felt naked under his eyes, I felt like he saw right through to my soul.

Maybe he could see my broken heart and have mercy on me.

"We are going back home," he finally said and I nodded after some minutes before turning and locking myself back in the room I woke up in.

Home, I thought, what was waiting there for me, nothing. Nothing but old sad memories, there was nothing exciting to look forward to, it was his home and only my prison. All I knew there was pain and suffering.

I sat on the bed legs crossed when someone knocked an hour later making me stand and walk to open the door eyes still sore, my head aching. Rafael stood with a tray of food and water in hand. I moved from the door and he walked past me placing the tray on the bed. It was mainly fruits, biscuits and a slice of chocolate cake. I hadn't realized how hungry I was, I was starving. The food went down quickly followed by the water.

My eyes drifted off to Rafael when I was done who sat at the edge of the bed watching me.

Oohh Lord he had seen me eat like an animal. My cheeks flushed red and I looked somewhere else, my eyes were roaming the room as if searching for something. I turned back around and he was right there in front of me. I could feel his breath against my skin and his eyes were dark not scary dark but lustful dark.

"Don't you ever do that again," his voice was low yet firm. I found myself nodding as I was lost in those dark orbs.

Next thing I know his lips crush into mine with so much passion. We kissed so greedily conveying so many emotions. His hands were around me, holding me tight as if afraid that I'd vanish. Our tongues danced as losing ourselves in each other. I felt a tear slip as he held me tight in his embrace as if I was the most precious thing in the whole world, in his arms you would feel like the most powerful person on earth, you would feel love threatening to burst your heart with your toes curling yet when he let go there was nothing but burning flames of hell.

I was the first to shamelessly rip his shirt open, my hands moving on his warm skin, roaming his body. I wanted to feel, wanted to feel something, wanted to feel as if I was flying in the air with everything forgotten. I wanted him to make me forget, wanted him to kiss the pain away with every stroke taking all the pain away. He pushed me back to pull off my jersey over my head. My breast were against his chest as we made love with our tongues.

He pulled my pants down followed by my underwear as I worked on his pants urgently. When we were both naked, skin to skin, breast to chest, thigh to thigh he scooped me up and lay me on the bed gently.

His lips found my neck up to my ear, I moaned underneath his touch. At this point we needed each other, needed each other's touch. My hands around his neck, my legs around his waist as he left scorching kissed all over my body. He broke from my grasp venturing to my legs up back to my mouth, he kissed every single part of me sending sparks all over, igniting a fire within me.

Unexpectedly he drove into me as I moaned loudly clawing at his back, all I could think about was more, more, more. There was no rush, he took his time sucking on my breast as he slowly drove into me again. I gasped, threw my head back with my eyes closed as my whole body clung to him. It was amazing, it was like nothing I had ever felt before. He found my lips again, his member pulsing inside me, he did not move but just kissed me. I could feel his manhood inside me not moving but it seemed to be getting bigger and bigger.

We kissed as if the world was ending and just as I was drowning in the kiss he moved, moving his hips, his cock stroking my most sensitive spot. I was floating as he made love to me, slowly and gently. I was hot all over, so much pleasure I had never felt before. Each stroke felt like heaven and I wanted more and more. My hips moved in rhythm with his as I sang his name loudly. Every part of me was tickling, the feel of his skin against mine was maddening, the kisses we shared left me craving and each stroke inside of me turned my world outside down.