Cassidy makes me my favorite dish, lasagna. She makes a heaping pile of garlic knots and my chubby heart is so excited. Dining food sucks compared to her cooking. Her lasagna was always my favorite because carbs duh. Ella and I help her prep dinner and then sit on the couch to cuddle and watch a movie from our childhood. Ella tells me all about school and a couple boys who have shown an interest in her. This a surprise to me and I gasp and fake punch her,

"Why am I just now hearing about this?" I squeal and bounce in my seat.

"Hearing about what?" Carter calls from down the hallway. I'm pretty sure he has the house bugged, why does he always seem to hear everything?

"Nothing!" Ella and I scream back in unison. We return to our conversation in a whisper.

"It's new and I'm not sure if I even like them. They are so persistent and kind of annoying sometimes. I'm there to get an education not a network." She rolls her eyes and I giggle at her.

Ella has always prioritized school. She is brilliant and schooling has always came so easy to her. She was the top of her class every year and the valedictorian her senior year. She's soft spoken and calm, but I think she only comes across that way because there are a thousand things running through her mind in a moment.

She has always shown an interest in the law and wants to be a lawyer. She is in her Junior year at University and then she will have another two years of law school. Her focus is female rights. Rights that females had long ago that have since been taken and abolished. She and I are so different. I'm bossy and brash, I have always been rough around the edges and too wild for everyone's comfort. She has always been the mature one, the one who pulled me out of trouble and helped me with my homework. She is a type of graceful I could never be.

Her long brown hair is similar length to mine half way down her back. Her and Cassidy share that brown hair while mine has remained this dirty blonde. She favors it straight and it's always shiny and soft, mine is usually in a messy pony or bun because I'm too busy to deal with it. She wears minimal makeup because she has a natural beauty about her.

She's perfectly thin and dainty, where I have more muscles and probably outweigh her even though she's two years older and a little taller then me. I feel bulky compared to her and definitely not dainty. Her style is classy and she always seems put together, I wear athletic clothing too often and go for bright colors and sparkles. My style seems obnoxious compared to hers.

She's also the most independent and capable female I know. She has never needed a male's help, hell she didn't really even need Cassidy's help. She has always been so self sufficient. It's a trait I envy. Would my boys have preferred a female like her? I sit here and stare at my beautiful sister and wonder if I should have tried to be more like her?

I doubt she would have punched Trevor. I feel a little guilty about that.

"I'm not sure how you manage three boys I don't know if I'm cut out for a network. Maybe I'm a one male type of women?" She looks to me with a question in her eyes.

"Obviously I can't handle three males or I wouldn't be in the position I'm in." I sigh. Ella cuts in trying to to tell my otherwise and I continue talking, cutting her off.

"You are the most capable female I know Ella. You could do anything you put your pretty little brain too. If you want a network of 20 males I have every confidence you could easily handle it."

She giggles.

"20 males is a no for me." Carter says from where he's leaning on the wall, ease dropping on our conversation.

"Well good thing it's not your choice." Cassidy pops in from the other direction coming from the kitchen. She makes me scoot so she can sit in between Ella and I.

"I'd personally love to see how Carter handles more males. He is barely containing his death threats with the three we have now on a good day." Cassidy smiles at Carter

"Well he won't have to do that anymore so he will have plenty of time to dedicate to Ella and her growing network." I wink at my sister to lighten the sting of my comment.

Carter sighs and comes to sit next to me on the couch. He wraps an arm around me and I lean into his chest. Cassidy is holding one of my hands and one of Ella's.

"You are both more then I ever dreamed you would be. No one is more fucking shocked to see that somehow you turned out so perfectly when you had me for a parent. I know I didn't do right by you always, but I truly tried." Carter reaches behind my head and puts his hand on Cassidy's neck as her tears start to fall.

"I wake up thankful every morning for you both because you girls are the reason I woke up every morning. You were my reward in the universe's shitty system of karma. You are equally perfect in your own ways and I'm so excited to watch what you do in this world. You are deserving of only the best. You deserve everything." She kisses each of our heads.

"Mom will always be proud of you Cassidy. She never doubted your ability to raise us, even for a moment. I remember so much of those last months, and vividly. She was at peace sissy, she knew that she left us in the right hands. She had complete faith that you would do best by us and for us." Ella says

"You did do right by us. I don't remember a day you weren't there and showing up. We all grieved so differently, but when it mattered, you showed up. I'm thankful for you every day, and for you." I pat Carter's hand.

"We turned out the way we did because you put all of your energy into us and gave up so much so we could have everything. Thank you and I love you."

My last sentence is a whisper and we are all in tears, hugging each other close. We hear sniffles and turn to see Carter wiping tears. We all dissolve into a fit of giggles at seeing the large man cry over our heart to heart.

"There is no one else we would trust threatening the lives of our suitors Cart. Thank you for protecting us and I promise not to bring 20 home." Mia winks at Carter and that gets a smile out of him. He squeezes us all in his arms and we all laugh, breaking the emotional tension.

"Your boys made a mistake Mia, but you don't make the mistake of thinking that they aren't yours. I know what's running through that head of yours. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do and I will never make excuses for their unacceptable behavior, but they are yours and you're not going to be able to get rid of them this easily." Carter kisses my head.

"I mean I could get rid of them for you easily if that's...what you want?"

He looks to me in question and we all burst out laughing again.

"Gaahhh no murder talk. Future lawyer here!" Ella has her hands covering her ears.

"They don't feel like mine anymore. I feel betrayed and confused. I don't know if this is fixable."

"You don't have to fix things if you don't want to Mia. This is your choice. This is your life. Those boys would follow you into the grave and I know they are sorry for what they've done, but they made those choices and they will have to live with the consequences. You are about to be 20 years old. You are beautiful and could have any male you wanted. You have an entire life ahead of you. If you don't want them you could build a new network, or find one male. You could be single and focus on yourself because a male will never ever be more important than yourself."

Cassidy speaks while holding me to her chest as my tears flow. No one says anything else. My family sits on the couch as we hold each other. I close my eyes soaking up these moments with them. There were times I wished for a "normal" family, but nothing could have ever been better than this.