I limp off the course when I see Carter has climbed to the top of the tower and is waiving a white flag. I don't know where my brothers are. I saw the joy in Carter's eye when he and Benji stepped on the field with those guns and I knew this was going to hurt. I left my brothers without a second thought.. well my actual thought was every man for himself fuckers!

I see Bash limping towards me and turn around when I hear Trevor grunting. Jesus I hope I look better then them. I think I took 15 hits before I found a good hiding spot. My body is going to be covered in bruises. Luckily Carter gave us chest plates and helmets. He's a better man then I because I wouldn't have been so generous.

We deserved worse for hurting Mia. We deserve to suffer. The physical pain of some paint balls can't compare to what I feel inside. My heart literally throbs and I haven't taken a full breath since we dropped her off at her house. in tears.

Carter and Benji meet us at the exit, both wearing triumphant smiles.

"I feel better, do you feel better Benji?" Carter asks with a smile.

"I do actually, you boys make great targets. We should do this more often!" Benji says gleefully with a wink.

"Screw you guys I'm pretty sure my left nut is not going to work anymore," Trevor grunts.

"Good. That's what got you into this mess. That nut is the reason my baby sister is at home crying and broken hearted. Fuck your left nut." Carter replies loosing his playful tone.

"I know Carter. Believe me we fucking know." Trevor replies solemnly.

The three of us walk with our heads hung. We fucked this up. We could have possibly fucked our entire life up. She is our life. She's the only life we've ever wanted and worked towards.

"We're going to lunch, drop your gear at the counter." Carter says.

"I'm not hungry. Let us go talk to Mia?" Bash asks.

"Not happening. She needs a break and I need a word with you." Carter says not even looking at us.

We drive to a close sandwich shop that's fairly empty. I think Carter might have done this on purpose so no one is around to hear this ass chewing we're about to get. We order our food and Carter pays, refusing our money. We sit at a long table towards the back where there are no other customers.

"So tell me your side. I've heard what happened from her, but I want to hear it from you. Tell me what you did that resulted in her coming home to me in tears." Carter demands.

Trevor clears his throat to start telling our side.

"We had talked to her about being in her network and making our relationship official between the four of us. She agreed and things were going well. We took turns taking her on individual dates and group outings. We courted her and spoiled her like we were taught too."

"We know this already. You've been courting her for like 9 fucking years that's not the shit he wants to hear." Benji snarks back.

I pick up where Trevor stopped.

"Mia had said she was ready too..." I exhale and run a hand through my hair. This is awkward does he really want to hear this stuff. He can't want to know about three guys wanting to fuck his sister. Bash takes over,

"Mia said she was ready to have sex with us. We all four agreed it would be something we did as a group. We had open discussions about it with everyone. We also felt she was ready, or we would have never moved forward with it. When we were uhh getting ready to, you know, she made a comment about Trevor seeming to know what he was doing. We all kind of froze because we hadn't shared our pasts with her. It's not something we are proud of and it's not something we even spoke about between each other." Bash gestures around to Trevor and I as he speaks.

I continue. "We came clean with her about our pasts. We told her about the girls we slept with. We were as honest as we could be. She freaked out, rightfully so. She started crying and it all went downhill from there. She barely spoke to us for two weeks before we left to come back here. She only said a few words on the drive home. We haven't talked about it since that night and we need the chance to talk this through with her."

"My questions is why was it okay for you guys to fuck around behind her back, but you never even let her go on a date unattended? Why was it okay for you guys to be interested in other girls, but she was only ever allowed to show interest in you?" Benji asks. Carter continues,

"You claimed her. How many guys ever dared to talk to her or try to ask her out? Only a few in all the years that I know of. Why did you not respect the claim she had on you like you expected everyone to respect the claim you had on her? Why was it appropriate for you to expect her to save herself for you, but you didn't give her the same courtesy?"

"I don't have an excuse. There is no excuse for what we did. It was wrong and we knew it at the time and we know it now. I can only speak for myself when I say I was stupid, I was young and horny and at the time I didn't see the consequences for what they were. The girls literally meant nothing to me. Both times it was a one night stand and I didn't touch or talk to them again. If I could take it back I would in a heartbeat." Trevor says.

Carter looks at me next for my reasoning.

"I mean my piss poor excuse is the same as Trevor's. I was drinking the few nights it happened. I knew I would end up with Mia, but I also knew she wouldn't be ready for a physical relationship for a long time. I was impatient and selfish. I was only thinking with my dick and not my heart or I would have made a better choice. There is no one for me but Mia. When Senior year began and Mia started showing an interest in us more romantically I stopped talking to other girls. I didn't fuck around with anyone and neither did they." I shrug to my brothers. "It'll only be her for me. Until she's done with me and doesn't want me anymore or decides I'm not worth it. It's only her I promise you." I look down at my hands ready to leave this fucking place and try to go see Mia.

Carter makes a noise in acknowledgement and turns ready to hear Bash's sorry excuse. Bash looks contrite. He looks like he's about to cry and I can hear the shake in his voice. I hate seeing him cry almost as much as Mia.

"I think I thought that experience would be helpful in the future. I think I used that as a justification for what I did. That I would learn so when I was with Mia I was more sure of myself and I could guide us both. It's not an excuse. It's just what I thought at the time. I was young and stupid and being a virgin was really lame. Other guys in our class always ragged on us for being so obsessed with Mia. They called us stalkers and sometimes it got to my head. If I could go back, I would. I would tell those guys to fuck off because I will never stop stalking Mia." Bash exhales. "That sounds weird, but you know what I mean. That shit doesn't matter now. High school doesn't matter now. I'm sorry our actions then are affection Mia now. We are sorry. We want to fix this, if you have any idea how we can do that we are all listening."

"I can't help you fix this. You guys fucked up and that's on you to get her to forgive you, if she does. My part is done. I wanted to hear it from your prospective so thank you for being so open. I'll take you guys home and tell your parents I'm the reason you look like this." Carter stands as we all follow and start throwing our trash away. I think we all feel worse now then we did before. Getting it off our chests didn't help, it just made it hurt worse.

In true Carter fashion he walks all of us to our front doors to take responsibility for his actions. Trevor's Dads were disappointed there was no blood. My Dad shook Carter's hand, thanked him and then almost cried real tears laughing over the state of our injuries.

My Mom did cry real tears and said she was disappointed in us and sent us to our room like we were 13 again. The only good thing to happen today was Carter inviting our families over to barbecue tomorrow as a consolation for trying to kill us. I don't really care why we were invited over. I'd take a paintball to both my nuts if it meant I got to see Mia.