Hawk turned the Medal of Honor in his fingers, the chain dangling down towards his chest as he lay down on the bed. The medal was impressive, beautiful, just holding it made him feel strong as if there was some secret power radiating from it to his bloodstream.

No, no secret power here. All the strength was his own, made of sweat and anger and tears that had molded him into the man he was now.

A crooked smile played on his lips as he clenched the medal in his fist. The sharp edges cut into the skin of his palm but he welcomed the pain. It was the first real thing he had felt in days, it didn't only cut through his skin but through the unbearable fog of nameless anger, loathing, and misery he'd been carrying in his heart ever since the Mall Fight.

Finally, he had gotten his revenge, and it had a sweet taste.

He still couldn't quite believe they hadn't been caught. That he had actually managed to pull that off.

It had been a sleepless night, the adrenaline was still pumping through his veins, making him high-headed. It was morning now and he knew that any minute now the Miyagi-Do's would walk into their trashed dojo, if they hadn't already - and fucking Hell - that made him ecstatic like nothing in a long time.

Those fucking pussies deserved all that was coming to them. Especially Demetri. That fucking asshole—

Hawk's phone rang, and he sat up to take it from the nightstand. He had been expecting this call but still, his heart thumped painfully against his ribcage as he picked it up.

"Was it you?" Sky asked, her voice tense and trembling.

Hawk swallowed hard. "What are you talking about?"

"Someone trashed Miyagi-Do last night. Was it you?"

"What? Trashed their dojo—?"

"You heard me. Everything is broken, destroyed." Sky's voice was thin and stretched like she was holding back tears. "They even stole Mr. Miyagi's Medal of Honor."

"Shit—!" Hawk let out. "How... Did Sam call you?"

"Yeah, and now I'm calling you. It was you, wasn't it? You went there to trash their dojo because they kicked your ass at the mall!"

"Is that... is that what you think?" Hawk managed. "Sky - fucking Hell - I had nothing to do with this!"

He had known all along that he would have to lie to Sky about what had happened. It was clear to him now that she wouldn't understand - she hadn't understood why it had been necessary to kick Demetri's ass, so she wouldn't understand this either.

If he told the truth, she would dump him. He had miscalculated the last time, it had caused a shitload of trouble between them and he didn't want any more of that. Hell, he wanted her back, wanted that more than anything - and if he had to lie to her to accomplish that, he would.

It was a good thing he was a good liar. He had learned a trick or two during the years when he'd had to come up with explanations for his missing lunch money or torn clothes when he came home from school and mom started asking questions.

"Jesus, Sky - you really think I would do something like that?" He groaned.

"I don't know what to think anymore. You did try to beat up Demetri."

"Yeah, but that's different. It was a fair fight."

"I'm not even gonna explain to you how unfair that fight was," Sky said angrily.

"Fine, but come on, I didn't trash the dojo. Like, why would I even do that? If it was me I'd want them to know it was me."

Sky was silent for a moment, and Hawk heard only his own rapid heartbeat in his ears. She had to believe him, she fucking had to. If she didn't—

He didn't want to think about it. The foul taste of fear and loss was already on his tongue. He clenched his fist tighter around the Medal of Honor and swallowed to repel the bad taste on his lips.

"Okay," Sky said after a short while. "Say it wasn't you - Who then? It was Cobra Kai, that much I know. Sam said they fucking sprayed it on one of Mr. LaRusso's cars."

"Jesus, I don't know," Hawk said, remembering clearly the steel sharp combination of revenge, rage, and reckless joy when he had done the said spraying. "If I had to guess, some of the new guys. Maybe they wanted to prove themselves or something."

"Yeah, maybe," Sky sounded tired and resigned, but most of all she sounded sad and that made Hawk's chest ache like there was an arrowhead digging into the muscle of his heart.

For a short moment, he felt regret - he had never meant to hurt her. The Miyagi-Do's, sure, but not Sky. But it wasn't really his fault, was it? It was like Kreese said - Sky was soft, she was emotional. She cared too much for people who didn't deserve that.

"I really don't know," he said again, his tone soft and calming. "I mean, I can't see Miguel doing anything like that. Or Aisha."

"Tory maybe?"

"Maybe. Who knows?" Hawk replied. "I mean, I can ask around..."

"Would you do that?" she asked, her voice suddenly hopeful, and somehow that made Hawk feel worse than anything before.

He swallowed. There was a persistent lump in his throat and he feared Sky would hear it, that she would guess what it was, why his voice almost broke when he said: "Of course. If it means that much to you, I'll do it."

A silence followed, a heavy silence - unlike the silences they had shared before. He cleared his throat. "Sky, are you alright?"

"No," she let out, barely audible.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For hurting you," he managed. "I never meant to do that."

"Sometimes I miss you so much that I can't breathe," She said and he heard how she was holding back tears. "And I can't sleep. And I can't eat. And I think this will kill me. And I want it to kill me because if I'm not with you I don't want to live anymore."

He couldn't say anything, his throat clenched tight. He knew what it meant that Sky said she didn't want to live. It meant that things were bad, that they were far worse than he had feared.

"Have you... done something to yourself?" he finally got the words out.

"I took something yesterday."

His heart clenched into a tight knot, it almost stopped beating. "What did you take?"

"I don't know, I bought it from some dude on the street. Benzos, he said. Knocked me out real good."

"Jesus, Sky—" he made a desperate groan. "You can't do shit like that! It could have killed you!"

"I don't really care right now," she breathed. "I hadn't slept in days. And Dad wouldn't give me any more pills."

Okay, things were bad. They were so bad that Hawk wanted to scream, he wanted to slam his fist into the wall, he wanted to run to his mom and ask for help because suddenly the magnitude of things he was dealing with was drowning him. For a heartbeat, he wished he was still a kid, a boy who could run to Mom for help, and mom would banish every big or small thing he was afraid of, would point a flashlight under his bed to prove there were no monsters there.

The fact that he couldn't do that almost suffocated him. The monsters were real and he had no one to go to for help.

But Sky did.

"You should talk to your Dad. Shit, Sky, let him help you."

"He can't help me," Sky breathed.

"Then let me help you," he managed. "Tell me, what can I do? I'll do anything."

"I don't want to be on a break anymore," Sky was crying now, he heard the tears in her voice. "I don't care about anything else, I just want to get back together."

It felt like his heart filled his ribcage so that he couldn't even draw in a breath. "Are— are you sure?"

"No. But I can't live without you."

"I can't live without you either." Hawk rasped, barely managing to get the words out. He tasted tears now too, but swallowed them down, forcing them away. He wasn't gonna cry in front of Sky like a fucking pussy.

So he just held the phone to his ear and listened to her sobs, whispering soothing words of love to her, swallowing down his own tears, his own pain, everything - bottled it all up in that place in his mind which was already overflowing.

She cried for a long time. Hawk didn't know for how long, but finally she calmed down, her breathing that had been nothing but sobs and hiccups turned into soft, shaky exhales.

"I wish I could be there with you now," Hawk said, his throat still so tight it was hard to speak. "I just wanna hold you."

"Soon," Sky breathed and made a sound that could have been a laugh or a sob. "One week."

His heart thumped against his ribcage. "Yeah, soon."

"In Rome."

"The eternal City," he murmured. "And we'll be there together."

It felt surreal. After everything that had happened during this week... he was now getting back together with Sky, he was going to Italy, Sky hadn't found out it was him who had trashed Miyagi-Do.

She had bought his lies, but it didn't feel as good as he had thought it would. He felt like there was a knot in his gut, sucking out the joy he should have felt.

I should tell her the truth. I could still do that.

"Sky—" he started, but then stopped talking mid-sentence. He turned the Medal of Honor around in his fingers once, twice. It felt heavier than a piece of metal that size should have felt.

If I tell her, it's over. She will dump me for sure.

And I can take anything but that. Not that.

"What?" she asked softly.

He swallowed. Whatever he had been about to say, died on his lips.

"Just... promise me you won't take any more drugs." he managed instead. "Please. That shit can get you killed."

"I won't need to," her voice was still raw after all the crying. "Not anymore."

"You have no idea how much I love you. I love you more than anything."

There was so much he wanted to tell her, so many things he wanted to say, but he couldn't, the words were stuck in his throat where they burnt with the tears.

So he told her the one thing he could say, over and over again.

I love you,

I love you,

I love you.

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