《Before I Forget - Eli Moskowitz -》Fucking Perfect
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It was their last day in Italy.
The vacation was ending, the summer was turning towards the fall, and tomorrow they would fly back home.
Sky couldn't help feeling nervous about that.
They had spent these past week and a half in wonderful bliss. It had been a safe haven, a bubble, a dream. Every day had been full of sunshine, laughter, and good food. Dad had been happy and relaxed, and Beth too - they had gotten along great. And Hawk - well, things had never been this perfect with him before. During this vacation, they hadn't argued once. Sky hadn't been this happy in a long time - some days she had almost felt like her old self, like she had been before Kat had died.
The happiness was like a living thing inside of her chest - something warm and fluffy, a tiny little thing she should keep safe and hidden from the world inside the cage of her ribs, by any means necessary.
Because, in her experience, happiness was easily killed, crushed into a bloody pulp with a fucking wrecking ball. The universe didn't want her to be happy, it never did, she didn't deserve it, and she knew it would be taken away from her sooner or later.
Absent-mindedly, she ran her fingers through Hawk's soft hair, as he was kissing her neck. They lay on her bed, in her room which was a mess because she had started packing but had not finished it - and they had the whole fucking house for themselves for the first time during this holiday. Dad had taken Beth to Uffizzi and as Sky had very pointedly told him she wasn't going to spend 8 hours of her life in a museum just to see one pretty nice Botticelli and 1000 paintings of the Virgin Mary, Dad had replied that it was okay and that she could stay home with Eli if she wanted to.
So now they had the house for themselves and it was clear what Hawk wanted to do with this sudden and unexpected freedom, but Sky just wasn't feeling it.
As hot as Hawk's lips were on her neck, as clearly as she felt his erection pressing against her thigh as he lay partly on top of her - her mind kept wandering.
Hawk seemed to notice that too. He brought his face up and took a look at her, his peppermint breath fanning her face.
"Is everything okay?" he asked.
"I just..." Sky shrugged. The rest of that sentence failed her and she turned her eyes away. Suddenly she felt guilty for not wanting to have sex with him. He deserved a girlfriend who would never tell him no, who would always be ready. The fragile bubble of happiness was fracturing, she e could feel the cracks in her chest.
She was a stupid slut, never good enough, never deserving of his love.
"Did I... do something wrong?" Hawk asked, his eyes suddenly wide and breathtakingly blue.
Sky's chest went tight, she felt miserable. "No, Gods, no! It's just... My period started yesterday, and—"
His brows shot up on his forehead. "Oh, I didn't realize."
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"Yeah - it's a good thing though," she noted. "I was feeling kinda nervous because we didn't use a condom last time."
"But... I thought you'd said it was safe?"
She rolled her eyes at him. "Where were you during sex ed? Safe is only so safe, it's not 100%. Like condoms aren't 100% safe either."
Hawk let out a sigh and rolled off her, but lay down by her side, his hand still on her chest, resting between her small breasts, feeling the soft falling and rising, the beat of her heart.
"Are you feeling okay?" He asked after a short silence. "I mean, your period—"
"I'm okay," she gave him a soft smile. "Just, you know, bleeding all over the place and feeling like shit."
"I'm sorry," he breathed, and then after a short while. "Anything I can do?"
"No, I'm sorry," Sky replied, her cheeks heating. "We finally have some time to be together and—"
"Come on," Hawk said sternly. "Don't you even start that. You don't wanna have sex? So fucking what. It's not like we have to do it."
"But I know you want to—"
"I'll live," Hawk said and flashed him a grin. "Don't worry about it."
Sky knew it was probably just because of her stupid hormones - this time of month always made her emotional - but suddenly she felt tears in her eyes. He was being too nice, she knew she didn't deserve it. Matt had never cared if she wanted to have sex or not - he had taken what he thought was his, and some of that shame still stuck with Sky. She felt so stupid denying Hawk something he so clearly wanted - and even more stupid and undeserving of his love now that he was being so nice about it.
A tear fell to her cheek and Sky wiped it off almost angrily.
Hawk glanced at her, and his brows furrowed. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I just don't wanna go home," she said, not wanting to reveal her shameful thoughts. It wasn't like she was lying - this was also true. "We've been so happy here. And I'm nervous about going back home."
"I wish we could stay here too," he said, his fingers playing with the buttons of her shirt. "But I've missed Cobra Kai. It's gonna be great to get back to training."
"What, you don't consider our morning workouts training?" She teased.
They had trained together almost every morning in the garden before it got too hot, and it had been wonderful. Sky had enjoyed every minute of their joint workouts. Hawk doing his kicks and punches was probably the hottest thing Sky could think about, and more often than not the workouts have led to steamy make-out sessions in the garden.
Hawk smirked. "Let's just say that you aren't as hard on me as Sensei Kreese."
That name erased Sky's smile like nothing else. Kreese. She had spent these weeks happily forgetting that man even existed. Sky still hadn't forgiven Kreese for punching Demetri in the face or being rude to Dad. She had a bad feeling about Kreese, and she didn't like the way Hawk seemed to adore him and consider every word that left his mouth an invaluable treasure.
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But this was their last night in Florence and she didn't want to use it arguing about Kreese. She had a depressing feeling they would do just that after getting back to Cobra Kai.
"I've missed Sensei Lawrence," she said softly. "And Aisha and Miguel—"
"Don't tell me you've missed Assface and Douchebag too?" Hawk scoffed.
"So what if I have? I happen to like Chris and Mitch. They are nice."
Hawk rolled closer to her, his lips traced the line of her jaw. "Should I be jealous?"
"You are an idiot," Sky replied with an eye roll. "You know that, right?"
Her words lacked credibility, though - she couldn't hide the quickening of her pulse or the blushing of her cheeks as Hawk's lips trailed her jugular down her neck, pecking soft kisses on her tender skin. His mouth was hot on her, she clearly felt his scarred upper lip as it brushed her skin.
"I know," Hawk said when he reached her collarbone. "But you love it."
"I love it," she sighed. "But don't get jealous. That I don't love."
"Fine, but just because you admit that you're mine," he chuckled, his lips back at her neck. She felt his hot breathing on her skin that was wet from his kisses, and it sent shivers through her spine.
She buried her fingers in the soft strands of his hair and let him continue with the kissing. The roughness of the scar tissue combined with the softness of his lips, and the heat of his mouth felt amazing. He sucked the tender skin on the spot right over her collarbone, and Sky knew there was going to be a hickey.
She didn't care, not really. So what if Dad noticed - he probably thought they were banging like bunnies right now. Use protection, he had said with a very serious glare before leaving, making Sky blush fiercely.
Yeah, she definitely needed to talk to Dad about getting on the pill. She was pretty sure Dad would be okay with it and would agree to pay for it too - but still, it wasn't a conversation Sky was looking forward to. Necessary, yes, but not fun.
But she remembered how amazing sex had been without a condom, remembered the look on Hawk's face when he had come inside of her, and that was definitely something Sky wanted to experience again - without the fear of getting pregnant and brining an army of Baby Hawks into this world.
Hawk's lips were moving on her skin, his tongue was lapping her collarbone and despite herself, Sky began to get aroused. Hawk was breathing fast, his hand was gripping her T-shirt on her waist, his thumb brushing her rib cage, and Sky felt her heartbeat reacting to his touch.
"Eli," she breathed softly, and he made a throaty sound, his lips still busy with the kissing.
"Eli—" she repeated, and with a groan he brought his face up, meeting her eyes.
"Yeah?"
"I said I have my period."
A slow grin appeared on his gorgeous lips. "Well, I don't mind."
"What, you don't think it's a turn-off that I'm bleeding all over the place?" she arched a brow.
"Nothing about you could be a turn-off," he noted, his thumb still brushing her ribs in a very distracting way. If only he moved that hand a bit, that thumb would touch her breast—
"That's because you are a pervert," she said but did nothing to stop him when he did move that hand slightly and his fingers started to caress the softness of her breast, making her breath get caught in her throat. Her voice came out a bit thin.
He let out a low chuckle, his hot breathing falling on the skin of her neck.
"Okay, maybe I am," he noted. "But it's just because I love you so much."
"Stupid boy," she breathed, but with a smile.
Sky kept brushing his hair, letting the silky strands run through her fingers. His scent of cotton and salt surrounded her like a soft blanket and for a moment Sky could only float in the bubble of love and happiness that scent made her feel.
She felt safe with him in a way she had never felt safe with any boy before. She knew that even if he was teasing her a bit, he wouldn't push her into anything she didn't want to do, he would never cross the lines she drew.
"Just saying—" Hawk rasped, breaking the contact of his lips and her neck. "That we could take a shower together. I hear warm water helps with the period cramps."
Sky couldn't help a laugh. "I bet you read that from the same source that tells that sex helps with period cramps?"
He chuckled, and Sky felt his grin on the side of her neck. "Whatever makes you feel better."
"I'm gonna have to pass," Sky said with a sigh. "Some painkillers would help though."
That made him look up, a worried look in his sky-blue eyes. "I can get you some."
"Thanks. There should be some in my purse—"
But as he moved to get off the bed, Sky reached a hand and pulled him back. He gave her a confused glance.
"I thought you wanted to—"
"I do," she smiled. "But that can wait."
Slowly she slid a hand on his thigh, moved it towards the bulge in the front of his shorts. He swallowed hard, Sky saw the up and down motion of his Adam's Apple under the skin.
"But—"
"I might not wanna have sex," she grinned, sliding her hand on his thigh. "But luckily there are other things we can do."
The grin that lit up his face was the most beautiful thing Sky had ever seen. When she pulled him into her arms, Sky couldn't even remember what she had been nervous about. So what that they were going back home - as long as they were together, everything would be fucking perfect.
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