Sky spent that afternoon in her room with Aisha, getting rid of everything that reminded her of Hawk.

That work was exhausting, and Sky was very much aware of the fact that she couldn't have endured it without Aisha's help.

There were just so many things, and every little one held a big memory. All the small notes, the cards, and letters Hawk had written to her with his beautiful, precise handwriting. The heart-shaped pendant he had gifted her on their one-month anniversary. The pair of earrings he had bought her in Rome. The silly photos they had taken on one of their first dates at Golf N' Stuff, that showed them making funny faces - and in the last one, they were kissing.

Looking at the photos made Sky feel sick. All too well could she remember how his lips felt on hers, how those long fingers brushed through her hair–

She needed him still, her body betraying her emotion with a quickening pulse and blushing cheeks as she let herself remember how that kiss had felt. How he had kissed her like a man starved, as if she was something amazing, something he would always love and care about above all else.

Stupid, so fucking stupid.

With trembling hands, Sky ripped the photos to pieces and threw them into a trash bag Aisha was holding for her. It was already overflowing with things, and Sky tried hard not to look at them too closely. Thank God Aisha had promised to throw the bag into the trash on her way home - there was no way Sky could've done that herself.

"Was that all?" Aisha asked, glancing around the room.

Sky's heart sank. "Well, there is still him."

She turned to look at the giant panda plushie that lay on her bed, the one Hawk had won for her at the Valley Fest. The panda stared back at her with his big, shiny, innocent eyes. Sky could hardly believe she'd had him only for a month or so - it felt like a lifetime. She fricking loved that plushie and all the memories that came with it.

"I can't kill Tao-Tao," Sky said, her voice breaking. "It's not his fault Hawk is an asshole."

Aisha took a look at the plushie and let out a sigh. "You want to keep him?"

Sky shook her head and picked up the panda, wrapping her arms around him in search of some comfort.

"I can't. Every time I see him, I remember—"

"The Valley Fest?"

"Yeah." Sky blushed. "And... what we did after."

Aisha arched a brow. "Okay, I really don't want to know how Tao Tao was involved in your kinky sex games."

That earned a snort from Sky, even through her tears. "Don't worry, he was just a spectator."

"I don't know if that makes it any better. Maybe you should rename him Peeping Tom."

Sky laughed. "You're horrible!"

"But I made you laugh," Aisha noted. She reached to take the panda from Sky's arms and reluctantly Sky let go of it. "I get that you don't wanna murder him. He is kinda cute. Maybe just box him?"

Sky gave a nod. Maybe some years in a box in the attic would erase the memories the panda held, and she would be able to get rid of him.

They packed Tao Tao in a cardboard box and carried him up the narrow, creaking stairs all the way to the attic, where the air was hot, still, and smelled like old paper, wood, and dust. There Sky gently laid the box on the floor, next to some others, tears falling to her cheeks as she let go of the memories of that night, stuffed them all into the same box, and closed the lid.

Never again would she watch Hawk kick ass in the games, winning the biggest prize for her. She would never hear the way he laughed, would never see that crooked smile on his lips when he turned to look at her when the sun went down and all the light in the world came from the party lights and the rides. He would never kiss her tasting like popcorn and cotton candy. He would never make love to her again, never would his lips trail down her neck, never would he lay her down on the grass under the vast, black sky and make her his so fucking hard and gentle that Sky came crying out his name.

Sky couldn't understand how she could survive that loss, how could anyone even expect her to survive it. She had lost her heart, her soul, her reason to exist, and all that remained was an empty shell. The door of death was suddenly wide open again as if a storm wind had yanked it off its hinges. Had Aisha not been there by her side, Sky would have jumped out of the window, slit her wrists with a kitchen knife, drowned herself in the sink.

No, I can't go down that road again.

I can't put Dad through that again.

She took a deep breath, and then another, forcing away those images with all her might, silencing the voices that tried to tell her she would always feel like this, that it would never get better, that she might as well give up and stop fighting already.

"Time to let go," she whispered, her hand lingering on the closed box. "Sweet dreams, Tao Tao."

"Ready to go?" Aisha asked silently.

But Sky's eyes had found something - another box right next to the one where Tap Tao slept. A simple, brown cardboard box she had carried up to this attic almost a year ago when they had moved here.

"Just a second," she replied to Aisha and wiped the thin layer of dust off the cover, and picked it up. It was heavy, so full of things and memories that for a moment Sky could barely breathe.

The stupid voices in her head could shut the fuck up. The fact that Sky thought it was time to open this box again, was proof that there was always hope, that life did go on, that even after the darkest night the sun would rise again.

"What's in there?" Aisha asked, when they climbed the narrow stairs back down, Sky holding the box rather dangerously against her chest so that she had no free hands to grab the railing with.

"The most beautiful boy in the history of mankind," Sky replied, glancing briefly at Aisha over her shoulder. "And other awesome things."

"Why do you have a naked man on your desk?" asked Demetri when he walked into Sky's room the next day.

Sky, who had been scrolling through Hawk's insta once again - there was a new video of him training with Miguel, showing him seemingly carefree and laughing - quickly put down her phone.

"He's not just any man. Demetri - meet my renaissance boyfriend, David."

"Moving onto a new relationship this quickly? That's nice, a sure sign of recovery."

"It's hardly new. We have history," Sky noted and sat up on her bed. "So, nanny - what do you wanna do today?"

"You mean you want to do something else than just eat chocolate ice cream and watch a bunch of Marvel movies?"

"What's wrong with chocolate ice cream and MCU?" Sky asked. "I thought you enjoyed those things."

Demetri gave a resigned sigh. "If I am your nanny, shouldn't I have some say in what we're doing?"

"Nope," Sky replied and fell back on her bed, throwing her arms to her sides. "I'm the suicide girl so I get to decide."

Demetri let out a sigh, climbed to sit on the bed, pulled a pile of Dungeon Lord comics from his backpack, and carefully placed them on the bed between him and Sky.

"One of those days, huh?" he asked, leaning his elbows to his knees.

Sky made a face. The memory of Hawk laughing and training on the video was still fresh on her, like some disgusting mold she wanted to scratch off.

"Every day is one of those days recently."

"Well, it's a good thing I brought chocolate then," Demetri said and passed Sky a couple of chocolate bars, but she did nothing to open them. "And there is the newest issue of Dungeon Lord. It came out yesterday. I normally don't let anyone touch my collection, but I am prepared to let you borrow them if you promise not to eat the chocolate while you read—"

Sky turned to look at Demetri, who kept talking about Dungeon Lord, his expressive face lit up by excitement, his hands gesturing wildly. Suddenly Sky's heart was heavy and so full of emotion that it spilled over and her eyes teared up.

"Thank you," she breathed, and Demetri stopped talking mid-sentence.

He closed his mouth and then opened it again, clearly at a loss for words.

"For... the comics?"

"For being so fucking awesome."

Of all of Sky's friends, it was Demetri who had been the first to visit her after she had gotten home from the hospital. Sky had been bedridden, miserable, tired, and hurting - barely alive at all - but Demetri had marched into her room as if it was any other day, and started talking about the new Doctor Who trailer.

He had visited her almost every day and stayed for hours even on the days when Sky couldn't even gather enough strength to say a word. It hadn't stopped Demetri - he had always been perfectly happy talking by himself anyways.

He hadn't asked anything about Sky's suicide attempt, nor about Hawk, and maybe that had been the reason she found she could talk about those things with him. Or maybe it wasn't just the wonderful way Demetri acted as if nothing had changed - maybe it was the fact that they had both loved Hawk and lost him. He could relate.

But whatever the reason, when Sky had one night told Demetri all about what had happened, he didn't freak out or flee the room - instead, he simply listened to her, leaning his elbows to his knees, his head slightly tilted to the side, carefully listening to every word she said - and when she finished, they watched the Doctor Who trailer together, and that was that.

"Hey, what are friends for if not this?" Demetri asked now and took a more comfortable position on the bed. "So, what do you want to do today - read Dungeon Lord or watch a Marvel movie? Or - we could watch Stranger Things."

"You sure about that?" Sky asked, managing a smile. "Cause I won't shut up about how dreamy Steve is if we do."

Demetri rolled his eyes. "I shall endure it like a man."

"Just kidding," Sky noted, reaching for a comic book. "Dungeon Lord is fine - if you can shut up while I read."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Demetri asked as if offended. "I know how to be quiet."

"No you don't. But that's why I love you."

Demetri's cheeks turned red, which made Sky roll her eyes at him.

"Just as a friend," she said rather pointedly. "So don't get any ideas. Besides, I already have David."

"Well, he sure is the silent type," Demetri muttered and glanced at the statuette on Sky's desk, still a bit blushed and wide-eyed. With a jolt Sky realized this must have been the first time a girl told him she loved him.

It made her feel really bad for Demetri. He was a great guy, and he deserved a girlfriend who would fill his ears with declarations of love, who would drown him in kisses, who would take him to bed - and not just to eat chocolate and read Dungeon Lord.

That boy deserved it all. too bad that Sky wasn't the right girl to give him any of it.

That's it, Sky thought to herself while leafing through the pages of the comic, not really paying attention to the story. If I have to live, I might as well do something useful. I will find Demetri a girlfriend before Christmas.

Beside Demetri, there was only one person Sky found she could talk to about what had happened with Hawk. It was Sam.

Just like Demetri, Sam came to see Sky every day, even on the days when Dad was home and there was no need for a babysitter. She seemed to feel guilty about letting Sky leave that day when she had returned the Medal, which was stupid, really, because none of what had happened was Sam's fault. But Sky appreciated her company nevertheless.

It was easier to talk to her than to anyone else because she wasn't friends with Hawk. There was no fear that she would push Sky into forgiving him or getting back together. On the contrary, Sam's only concern seemed to be getting Sky back on her feet before the upcoming school year.

It was working - sort of. Sam's relentless attempts to get Sky to leave the house had finally paid off, and they were now sitting on the beach, having ice cream. It was the first time Sky had left her house since she'd been released from the hospital, and Dad had been beaming like the sun when she had asked him if she could go out with Sam.

Sky felt really bad because of that. Dad deserved bigger things to be happy about than her daughter eating ice cream.

"You feeling any better?" Sam asked, giving her a soft smile. "You look good."

Sky shrugged. "If you mean to ask if I still wanna die, the answer is no. Not all the time, at least."

"Well, good," Sam replied sternly. "You know, school starts next week and I would really like for you to sit with me at lunch."

That made Sky almost smile. "Aren't you gonna sit with Lord Farquaad?"

"Come on, don't call him that!" Sam giggled. "I like the hair."

"Just kidding. You know Robby is gorgeous, and you guys make a cute couple. Just saying that you already have a table full of friends - it's not like you need me."

"No, but I like you. Besides, most of my friends are people who've run away from Cobra Kai, like Demetri and Chris, so you'd fit in nicely."

"Yeah," Sky muttered. "Maybe we should start a support group or something."

She didn't like to think about quitting Cobra Kai. Sensei Lawrence had paid her a visit one evening - which had almost made Sky fall on her ass of astonishment - asking Sky to come back. He had confirmed that Kreese was gone and that things would be different now, and it had been the hardest thing to tell him no. It wasn't Cobra Kai Sky had issues with, and it certainly wasn't Sensei Lawrence, who was amazing and to whom Sky would always be grateful for everything he had done for her. But as long as Hawk was in Cobra Kai, Sky could not go back.

Sensei Lawrence hadn't understood her logic and had ended up calling her a pussy who was afraid to face her ex - which was true, but still, it hurt. Sky could only face Hawk through his Instagram feed, and even that always made her cry.

She wasn't going to return to Cobra Kai just to cry her eyes out in the locker room every time She saw Hawk and was reminded of the things she had lost.

"So, my Dad says you are welcome to come to Miyagi Do anytime," Sam added, glancing at Sky. "And to be honest, it would be great to have another girl in there. It's sometimes annoying to be surrounded by guys all the time."

"What, Demetri's sense of humor annoys you? Or maybe Lord Farquaad's abs?"

Again Sam laughed. "Come on, you know what I mean. It would be great to have you around."

Sky gave Sam a soft smile and took a spoonful of her vanilla ice cream. She liked Sam's company too, but somewhere in her gut she knew Miyagi-Do wasn't her dojo, and Mr. LaRusso, no matter how nice he was, wasn't her Sensei. Johnny Lawrence would always be her Sensei - and if that couldn't happen, then she might as well quit, or maybe try out that stupid Topanga Karate to get some distance from the stupid Karate war that had torn up the Valley, her friends, and her love life.

"I'm kinda glad school starts next week," Sky said, burying her toes into the hot sand. "At least we'll all get something else to think about than karate."

To that, Sam gave a stern nod. "I agree. And you're gonna sit with me at lunch, every day."

Returning to school drew closer, and the friend who visited Sky the most during the last days of vacation was Moon.

It was as if Moon had decided that the starting of a new school year would heal all wounds, and her positive energy almost made Sky believe that too.

Moon would sit on her bed and paint Sky's nails and braid her hair while talking about healing energy and the power of chakras. She also gave Sky some healing crystals to hang from the canopy of her bed for the night - and for once Dad held his tongue and didn't comment anything about superstitious nonsense.

It was the last Saturday of the vacation when Moon came to see Sky first thing in the morning.

"I'm having a party tonight," She announced happily. "And I want you to come."

Sky, who stood on the doorway still in her pajamas, feeling like crap, wasn't as enthusiastic.

"A party?" she stifled a yawn.

"Yes! It will do you good. Seriously, Sky - school starts next Monday and you'll need to face everyone sooner or later. Isn't it better to do it at a party where we are all having fun?"

She kinda had a point, but still - even the thought of a party was enough to make Sky so anxious she wanted to throw up. She wasn't even remotely ready to face her peers. For the majority of last year, she had been called Crazy Slut in school, and it had been only her success in Karate, her new Cobra Kai buddies, and Hawk's arms around her, that had kept her head above the surface when high school horrors tried to drown her.

But now - she was pretty sure everyone knew about her suicide attempt. And that would mean a hoard of new nicknames, she was sure.

"Who is coming?" she asked reluctantly.

"All your friends."

"Sam and the Miyagi-Do's?"

"Among others. I have invited everybody." Moon beamed. "Come on, It'll be fun."

Everybody?

"Hawk too?" she asked silently, and the faltering of Moon's smile told her she had guessed right.

"Yes," Moon replied, taking Sky's hands in her own. "Don't you think it's time to put all this arguing behind us? I just want us all to be friends again."

"I can never be friends with him," Sky breathed. Her chest felt tight, she could barely breathe. Friends? Just the thought was absurd, it made her want to puke.

"No, I didn't mean–" Moon hesitated, her beautiful eyes turned soft and kind. "I meant that the dojos should stop being enemies. There has been so much negative energy going on all this summer and I want that to end. You don't have to be friends with Hawk, but maybe you could try to get along?"

"I don't know. And even if I wanted to come, I'm not sure Dad would let me—"

"Oh, I already asked him," Moon smiled. "He agreed with me - It is time you get out of the house, girl."