It was almost noon when Sky woke up.

The room was silent and empty, sunlight entered the room through the window - the curtains were opened. Sky yawned and glanced around - Dad's mattress was gone, she was alone. This was the first morning since she'd been released from the hospital that Dad wasn't here, and it took a moment to process that.

Whatever the reason, she had her room back to herself. It felt exhilarating. What was she going to do with all this freedom?

For a moment she just sat on the bed and listened to the silence. There were no voices calling her to walk the dry path to the dark door. It was closed, at least for now. She would live, for the day, if not more. There was some consolation in that thought, and she let it settle in.

It did nothing to cure her horrible hangover though. Sky groaned, when she slid off of the bed and had to stand up - her head ached as if there was a fricking goblin army hammering it from the inside, and her mouth tasted like crap. Literally - it tasted like someone had shit on her mouth. But no wonder - she remembered puking all over their driveway when Dad had helped her out of the car, and she also had vague memories of throwing up in the bushes behind Moon's house, of Hawk holding her hair—

Oh.

Oh God.

Hawk had kissed her. And they had–

She stopped that thought before it could drown her. She wasn't going to think that now. She would think about anything but that, anything but his lips on hers because if she did, she would crumble into pieces and the wind would carry her away.

Coffee. She definitely needed that, before she could do any thinking, and maybe something for this infernal headache.

"Morning," she mumbled, dragging her feet into the kitchen, still wearing her pink pajamas, her hair a messy knot on top of her head.

Dad looked up from the paper, his brows furrowing. "It's almost afternoon. You want lunch or breakfast?"

"I want coffee," Sky replied, walked to the coffee maker, and poured a giant cup, adding milk and sugar. The smell told her it was oriental coffee with cardamom - Sky's favorite, and Dad's too.

"There's Tylenol on the table," Dad noted. "I thought you might need some."

Bless that man. Sky sat down at the table, and silently poured a couple of pills into her palm, washing them down with water. She knew better than to ask if there was anything stronger in the house. No such luck after what she had done.

"So, are you back together with Eli?" Dad asked, making Sky almost spit the water all over the table.

Her cheeks burnt, betraying her emotion. "What?! Just because I asked him to call you—"

"Not just because of that, even if it was very chivalrous of him." Dad noted dryly. "Your neck."

Sky grabbed her phone and turned on the selfie camera. There were a couple of deep purple hickies on her neck, and even if her memories from the night before were slippery, she knew they were made by Hawk's lips. She could still feel the way he had pushed her against the wall, his hungry lips trailing down her neck—

And I'm not going to think about that now.

"Shit," She breathed her cheeks heating. "Fucking Hell."

"Language," Dad sighed.

"Sorry, it's just—" but she stopped talking mid-sentence. She really didn't want to explain to Dad that she had been so shit-faced last night that she had no idea how she had ended up making out with her ex-boyfriend. Not that Dad didn't know she'd been shit-faced - he had been the one to carry her into the house after she had painted the driveway with her vomit.

Gross. She hoped she hadn't puked on Dad. Or Napoleon. Or Hawk.

Crap.

She quickly sipped on her coffee to stop thinking about all the puking. And about Hawk.

"It's... complicated," she finished her sentence. "But we're not back together."

"Good," Dad said sternly. "And don't get me wrong, I like Eli - he is a good kid - but maybe after everything that's happened it's a good idea not to date for a while."

"I'd rather join a convent than start dating anyone now." she replied but didn't meet Dad's eyes. Hawk had kissed her and she had kissed him back. And even if it had been a fucking stupid thing to do - it still had felt like there was the sun shining inside of her ribcage, some of its warmth running through her veins even now.

"I'm glad to hear it." Dad said and sipped his coffee. "You'll make a wonderful servant of baby Jesus."

Sky rolled her eyes, but didn't comment. They both drank their coffee in silence for a while, Dad returning to his paper. The coffee helped, or maybe it was the Tylenol, and Sky made herself some toast and managed to eat it without puking.

"Aren't you gonna yell at me?" she asked, pushing away her plate when she had finished her breakfast.

Dad looked up from the paper - The New York Times, always that one, and always on paper, never from the screen of his phone or the laptop. He had said that he loved the feeling of paper, the smell of ink in the morning, that it made him feel like home. Sky agreed - she also loved the scent of a fresh newspaper and coffee - like the whole world was right there in their kitchen.

"Would it help?" Dad asked. "Because I have a feeling you already know you messed up."

"I know," Sky admitted. "And I am sorry. I didn't mean to get so drunk–"

She stopped talking before she could lie more. She had meant to get drunk, so drunk it wouldn't feel like her heart was torn out of her chest. It had worked, she supposed. After all, she had ended up making out with Hawk, instead of spitting venom on his face.

"It was my fault anyway," Dad said, making Sky's eyes shoot back up at his face.

"How was it your fault?"

"I pressured you into going. Maybe you weren't ready."

"No, it's a good thing I went..." Sky muttered. "I guess. At least now I know what people think about me."

Dad arched a brow. "And what is that?"

You're nothing but a quitter. Tory's words echoed in her head, making her feel sick again. But she also remembered Hawk's voice. I'm still in love with you. I want to get back together.

She shook those memories off, suppressed the mess of emotion they caused.

"So, I'm not grounded then?" she asked instead, leaning her elbow on the table, chin resting in her palm.

"Oh, you're definitely grounded," Dad said. "I'm not letting you out of this house until you're 30."

Sky rolled her eyes. "So I don't have to go to school tomorrow? That's great!"

Dad didn't bother to answer but just returned to his paper, turning a page and immersing himself in an article about the coming election. He was bent over the table, his glasses halfway down the bridge of his nose, his long, delicate fingers - librarian's hands, she liked to think - were absentmindedly fidgeting the corner of the paper, as if feeling the texture gave him comfort.

For a moment Sky wanted to say something - that she was sorry, that she knew he deserved better, that she loved him, that she hoped things were different and he had a better daughter - but then she closed her mouth and swallowed those thoughts. Silently she stood up and laid her dishes in the sink.

"You're not sleeping in my room anymore?"

"I thought that was what you wanted?"

"It is. Just wondering."

"School starts tomorrow," Dad said softly. "I can't keep watching you 24/7, Sky. I'm going to have to trust you."

Sky's throat went tight. Suddenly she felt like she was five years old, and she wanted nothing more than to curl up in Dad's lap, to hear him tell her that monsters weren't real, that the dragon was slain, that the big bad wolf would never get her. But he didn't look up, and the moment passed. She wasn't a baby anymore, and Dad couldn't keep saving her.

She hesitated in the doorway for a couple of heartbeats, but then walked out of the kitchen, leaving Dad with his umpteenth cup of coffee and his New York Times.

"I'm gonna take a shower," she called over her shoulder.

"Don't do anything stupid," Dad replied, but let her go. If he was worried that she would try to drown herself in the sink, at least he didn't show it.

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Her room was her own now.

After the shower Sky felt her head was somewhat clearer. She changed into comfy sweats and a T-shirt and climbed to her bed with her phone enjoying her new freedom.

There were a kazillion messages on her phone, which made her frown. Yes, she had slept till noon but she was pretty sure that after yesterday, so had everyone else. But maybe her friends didn't suffer from hangovers. Maybe they had known when to stop drinking.

She read Aisha's texts first.

: I didn't see you last night

were you at the party?

Did you see this?

And then there was a video. With a knot in her gut, Sky started watching, knowing it couldn't be anything good, but still - nothing could have prepared her for what she saw.

Demetri - kind, nerdy, awkward Demetri - who Sky had begun to love and trust, took the stage as if he was a late-night host, and the things that came from his mouth were nothing but evil, twisted word demons, even if masked to be jokes, even if they made the crowd laugh, their only real purpose was to hurt, to destroy, to burn down bridges that now could never be rebuilt.

He started by revealing Hawk's real name - and how fucking sad was the fact that no one seemed to recognize that name when he said it? As if no one had known Eli before he became Hawk. As if that name meant nothing to the crowd of people who listened to Demetri's speech. Eli Moskowitz - the name that still made Sky's heart skip beats, the name she had breathed into Hawk's ear when he made love to her, the name she always felt should be a part of the sentence that included 'I love you'.

But revealing that name was only the beginning. The rest was worse, one secret after another brought into the daylight. All of them things only Demetri could know. And then–

"--good old-fashioned bed-wetting." The crowd laughed, making Demetri wink. "And Eli here is a pro. My Mom even had a special air mattress for sleepovers. And she called it Eli's water bed."

Sky felt like she was punched in the gut. She brought a hand to her mouth in shock.

She hadn't known. Hawk had never told her. But she couldn't blame him, she could understand why he would be ashamed of something like that, even if it wasn't his fault or anything he could control. For a moment Sky wondered if it was just a mean, spiteful lie Demetri had made up to hurt Hawk - for it was clear that was his intention - but the tone of Hawk's voice when he shouted "You're a corpse!" at the end of the video, told Sky it was true, that it was all true.

Sky felt like there was a black hole in her heart, sucking out the sunlight, making everything in her broken and fragile again.

This stupid war, this pointless rivalry - would it never end?

"Oh Demetri," Sky breathed, blinking tears from her eyes. "You shouldn't have done that."

No matter how much Sky had hated Hawk after their break up, no matter how broken her heart was - she never would have wanted this pain, this shame on him. But there was nothing she could do about it.

She contemplated on whether she should call Demetri, but then didn't. She was too angry, she was too sad - and she didn't really feel like hearing what he had to say. For a moment her thumbs hovered over the screen, her chest clenching tight. She wanted to text Hawk and tell him–

Tell him what? They weren't together anymore. He wasn't hers to comfort. Besides, he probably hoped Sky knew nothing about his embarrassment since it clearly had happened after she had left the party.

And because there was nothing she could do, Sky moved on to the next message chain.

Can you hang out today?

I really wanna talk.

I did something really stupid at the party.

Sky sighed, her mind still in Hawk and the mess Demetri's speech had caused. Samantha LaRusso was the last person she could think of doing something stupid. She had probably stepped on someone's toes or spilled her drink on Moon's carpet or something just as horrible and was now certain that the world would end. Sky rolled her eyes, but hey - recently Sam had been the best friend she could have asked for, and if she now needed her to return the favor, she would.

Dad says I'm grounded but I think it's fine if you come over

what did you do?

I kissed Miguel

Sky's jaw dropped. What the Hell? Whatever she had been expecting, it sure wasn't this. Sam was with Robby. They were in love. Or at least that's what Sky had thought, but clearly, things weren't that simple.

oh my god!

why?

did you tell robby?

because I was drunk

not yet

should I?

Sky worried her lip with her teeth. There was no easy answer to Sam's question. Letting out a long sigh, she started typing the reply.

normally I'm all for honesty

but if it was just a stupid, drunken mistake - then maybe not tell him

it's just gonna make him feel bad

and it's not like you're in love with Miguel, right?

I don't know

"Oh my God," Sky said to herself. Sam was dating Robby and Miguel was dating Tory - this drunken kiss at a party could cause a shitload of trouble if people found out about it. Suddenly Sky's own kisses with Hawk didn't feel that bad at all - at least they were both single, so no one else got hurt in their mess.

btw I saw the video

I'm sorry

I know, Demetri was way out of line

no I meant the video of you

shit

haven't you seen it?

A cold lump formed itself in Sky's stomach. She forced in a deep breath before she opened her Insta, and oh boy did she need it. After seeing her inbox, she felt like she could never breathe again.

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