It was a new week, on a new day. The power was out. It's what we had predicted, when I got here I was told that it was a prototype. Like we had time to just try shit out but Deanna's husband said it would last. I heard Glenn was going out with some runners to go get some parts to fix the power grid. The group was getting settled in well, at least that's what it seemed like. I was on watch like every morning. Deanna thought it would be a good idea that I stay inside the walls while my family gets used to their new home. I would have been more cooperative if I didn't know my family could handle themselves. But I knew they could so I wasn't worried all that much. The only one I was really worried about was Daryl. He is my lone wolf, that's how he liked things. I knew he was getting protective over the group just by the fact that he kept a close eye on everyone.

Rick was settling into his cop role just like riding a bike. I waved at Glenn as he left before I decided that I was done sitting around on my ass. It had been about two weeks since I was out there tracking down Negan and his group. I didn't like not knowing where they were. Or how close to this place they were getting. I knew they were stealing from some communities. Well not exactly stealing but taking by force and these groups just corrupted. I heard them talking about it once. It was time for a shift change and as I climbed down from the wall I headed straight home. I had a job to do but I wasn't going to do it behind these walls. I packed up my backpack and went to Oliva to check out my gun. I hated the fact that I couldn't have my weapons with me. But there were rules and I had to follow them if I was going to stay with the community.

"Hey Oliva, I need to check out my baby. And some extra ammo." I said as I walked into Olivia's place where we stored everything. She was good at keeping a check for everything.

"Sure thing, what are you doing out there today. The other groups have already left." She asked as she let me into the back.

"No, this is just for me. Kinda." I said as I tossed my sniper over my shoulder.

"Does Deanna know?" Oliva asked and I sighed before turning to look at her.

"No, and you aren't going to say shit until after I've already left. Got it." She nodded at my stern tone. I turned and walked out heading to the front gate. They let me out and I headed to the last place I had tracked Negan's group. It was a satellite station but when I got to the fence I stayed in the trees but I could see there were a lot more of them. It looked to be about a group of I wanted to say forty or more. This was what I was scared of. I climbed up into one of the trees and just started to watch. They were too close and I couldn't tell if they knew about us. Hours passed and It was almost dark so I knew it was time to make my way back. I was hoping Daryl would be there. We hadn't talked or seen very much of each other since they all came to Alexandria.

I got back just after dark to find out that Deanna had lost Adien. Tara was knocked out cold and was in the infirmary. They had lost Noah because of Nicholas. After the last group died and only Nick and Adien came back, I knew there was something different about the story they told. These people have no idea what they are doing, especially out there. Nicholas and Adien liked to pretend they did know everything. I knew they were cowards who would rather run and leave someone behind than do the hard thing and save them. I found Glenn talking with Rick on his porch.

"He panicked." I heard Glenn say as I stood behind Rick. I knew he was telling Rick what happened and Nicholas would spin the story to make him look like the good guy.

"Noah, I had him. I had his hand. I tried." You could see the pain in Glenn's eyes as he relieved that moment over and over. He was beating himself up. On what he could have done differently.

"I watched him die." Glenn's voice shook as Rick nodded. "I almost left him out there. Could have told a story." I rolled my eyes and leaned against the porch.

"You should have. But I know that's not who you are." I said softly while looking over at Glenn.

"What you really think I should have." Glenn asked as he looked between Rick and I.

"They don't know what they're doing. Any of them" Rick said with a soft shake of his head.

"We'll show them." Glenn stated, he had hope in this place and I couldn't blame him. I did too.

"I don't know if they can see it. How things really are. I don't know if they can yet. They haven't caught up." Rick tried to explain to Glenn. I knew where he was coming from and I thought about the same thing when I got here. But that's why they started to let new people in.

"We have to be here." Glenn said, I could tell he was scared that we would have to leave after finding somewhere safe.

"Glenn, you're right we do." I said as a hope for some reassurance.

"But their rules, we don't answer to them." Rick was trying to make this place better. I knew that just by the way he so easily got into his job.

"We are them, Rick. We are now." Glenn was still in shock and I could see that but he was right and Rick needed to understand that.

"Glenn's right. There is no us and them Rick. We are all one or all divided. And with this place we all have to be one." Rick looked between Glenn and I for a moment. The silence that fell over us was almost defining till Glenn continued.

"Noah, he believed in this place. I'm telling you, we gotta make this work." Glenn was pleading with Rick. Glenn knew as much as me that we couldn't treat this place like the others before. We couldn't just out right take over the whole community. But we could slowly. All we had to do was build trust. It wasn't going to be easy but Rick had to be as in it as the rest of us were. Rick stood up leaving Glenn and I on the porch.

"You think he'll listen?" Glenn asked as I sat down next to him.

"I know he wants what's best for all of us. For us to have somewhere to call home. I don't know what will happen. Maybe he'll listen. Or maybe he'll just be Rick and we'll have to fight for this place. I just hope it doesn't come to that." I sighed and Glenn nodded before standing up and heading into his assigned house.

"He hasn't been the same, you know. Since we thought we had lost you. He's become more cold. Michonne has been breaking through the wall he made but. He's different. I'm glad we have you back. Maybe you can knock some sense into him." I nodded and he continued into his house and I made my way back to my own house.

The next morning was a blur just like the previous night. It's been days since I've seen Daryl. Aaron's been taking him out to look for new people. That used to be my job. I slowly looked around at the walls around me and that feeling of being a bird trapped in a cage started to burn into my head. I needed to get out of here. For some freedom. Or for what little bit of freedom that we get nowadays.

I made the decision to go back out there, where I felt like I belonged. Just as I was about to leave there was yelling and a major fight going between Rick and Pete. People tried to come in and break up the fight but they wouldn't.

"Rick, What the fuck are you doing get off him." I said as I tried to put Rick off Pete which resulted in me getting punched and thrown back. Carl came to my side and grabbed me. Rick had Pete in a choke hold and I didn't think he would stop till Pete was dead. That was till Deanna ran up.

"Stop it! Stop it right now." Deanna huffed out as she had run all the way to us much like everyone who was standing around us.

"You touch them again and I'll kill you." Rick said to Pete. Which meant Rick knew about Pete beating the shit out of Jessie.

"Damn it, Rick! I said stop." Deanna shouted and some of the men standing around moved to pull Rick off Pete. But like Rick he did something stupid. Again. He pulled out a gun and pointed it at anyone and everyone.

"Or what? You gonna kick me out?" Rick said his face was covered in blood and sweat.

"Put that gun down, Rick." Deanna had her hands out in a defensive motion. I knew Rick wouldn't shoot someone who was unarmed. Or at least the Rick I know wouldn't.

"You still don't get it. None of you do. We know what needs to be done and we do it. We're the ones who live. You, you just sit and plan and hesitate. You pretend like you know when you don't. You wish things weren't what they are. Well, you want to live? You want this place to stay standing? Your way of doing things is done. Things don't get better because you...you want them to. Starting right now, we have to live in the real world. We have to control who lives here." Rick ranted and that's when I knew Glenn was right. Rick did change. Sure the Rick I knew would do anything to protect his family but, that meant by following their rules. Not making our own. I could see the look on Deanna's face change as she took in Rick's words.

"That's never been more clear to me than it is right now." Deanna spoke plainly and I knew that tone of voice meant that Rick had finally crossed the line with her. She was going to kick him out if not tonight soon.

"Me? Me. You mean...You mean me? Your way is gonna destroy this place. It's gonna get people killed. It's already gotten people killed. And I'm not gonna stand by and just let it happen. If you don't fight, you die. I'm not gonna stand by and..." Rick was cut off by Michonne knocking his crazy ass out. We all stood around and looked at each other for a moment. Pete was taken to the infirmary and Rick would go there after Pete was all cleaned up. As for myself. I headed right out the front gates. It was time for me to go back out into the world and try to keep my sanity. It would be another couple days before Daryl came back anyway. I missed my redneck but keeping myself busy made me miss him less.

I made my way back to the satellite station to watch over Negan's group. There were more of them now than last time I was out here. They even had more supplies from what I could see. The last time I noticed them communicating with radios so I brought one with me. I started flipping through channels till I heard some talking on one of them. I stopped when I heard something about a supply run. It was hard to understand exactly what they were trying to say. I only got bits and pieces of sentences.

"We got one truck headed back to Negan." A man said and it was like christmas. I could follow that truck back to wherever this Negan guy was or is.

"Alright, just don't forget to stop by the outpost. We got some people to send backup to home base." Another voice said and I knew all I had to do was sit and wait for the right moment.

You ever have the perfect plan but something deep inside you tells you that you should change that plan. Go back. Because you can feel something bad is going to happen. That's the feeling I'm having right now as I sit in this stupid tree waiting for the trucks to pull up. Just then two pulled through the gates. One was dark blue and the other one was white. I watched as men unloaded things off the blue truck but no one touched the white one. Which tells me that is my ticket to finding this group. I kept my eyes out for when the truck was leaving. As it left the gates and headed down the main road I jumped out of the tree and darted after the car. I kept to the blind spots before hopping onto the back and climbing inside. There was so much stuff. Different canned goods, fresh fruits and vegetables. Even liquor. Enough to feed Alexandria at least for the next two winters. Something in me wanted to steal the truck but I couldn't. This was just a recon mission. Only to find out information and then go back. Honestly I wouldn't know what to even do with any information about this group. Do I tell Rick, Deanna, or the others? Or would that cause a full out war to rage between two groups who don't know about each other. A power play again. Another game of who's dick is bigger for power. And I was tired of losing people to that game.

The truck started to head off and I hopped out of the tree and started to follow it without attracting too much attention to myself. When the truck had come to a stop at an intersection I was about to pull myself onto the truck. It was full of so much food. Food I hadn't seen in a long time. Along with other things like razors, shampoo, like the basic needs we used to take for granted before the world ended. I was in shock, how did they find this shit. Where did they get all these fresh vegetables and fruits? The truck went on for a few more miles and then stopped. I could hear people talking on a radio they had. But I couldn't really hear what they were saying because of the sound of the engine. I hopped out and ran for the trees. They didn't notice me, which was a blessing. I climbed up a tree and in the distance I could see a large building. It looked like some sort of factory. This had to be it. As the sun was setting I took note on the map I had brought with me and started to head back to Alexandria. Even if I didn't tell anyone. At least I could keep an eye on them and make sure they don't get any closer.

As I got back I snuck in the same way I left. The whole town was buzzing about some meeting that Deanna was having about what to do with Rick. And the rest of his group. Sorry, OUR group. Those people were and are my family. If they leave, I do too. That's just how it has to be. I knew I couldn't lose them again. The sun was basically gone. I walked over to the meeting and stood with Michonne.

"Hey, has she started yet?" I asked her as she looked over at me, noticing my bag still over my shoulder.

"No, where were you?" I knew she would ask that. But it wasn't time to tell her. Not yet anyway.

"I'll tell you later." I whispered as Deanna sat up and spoke.

"We're going to start."

"Can we wait? There's still people coming. Glenn. Rick." Maggie pleaded. This meeting was about the two things that happened with both of them. Deanna was on her last straw with my little rebellious family.

"We're going to start. It's already dark." Deanna said a little more stern, I knew that meant there was no talking her into waiting for those who were basically on trial here. Deanna took a moment before continuing.

"We're going to talk about what happened. Not the fight. Not what precipitated it. We're dealing with that. We're going to talk about one of our constables, Rick Grimes. We're going to talk about how he had a pistol he stole from the armory, about how he pointed it at people. And we're going to talk about what he said. I was hoping he would be here." Deanna spoke with a false smile on her lips and I rolled my eyes.

"She said he's coming." I spoke up next to Michonne as I crossed my arms under my chest and Deanna turned her attention towards me. She knew I cared about this community but these people. Rick and the rest. I'd defend them with my life, like I had many times before coming here.

"I'm sure he'll be here and I'm sure we can work this all out." Carol piped up, she was still trying to play the scared wanna be housewife.

The meeting continued and everyone in our group was trying to help defend Rick and his actions. I wasn't really paying attention. I just kept looking around hoping that Rick would show up so he could plead his own damn case. Who even knew where he went.

"And after being out there and not being how you were out there...it can drive you crazy. Rick just wants his family to live. He wants all of you to live. Who he is...is who you're gonna be. If you're lucky." I had tuned in right as Michonne was finishing off her little speech for Rick. Something still felt off. I always had a knack for knowing when something was wrong. Since the world went to shit and being on my own that feeling only got stronger. And I was feeling it now. Like someone was or was about to be in trouble. I tried my best to shove that feeling aside as Carol stood up and started to speak next.

"Rick Grimes saved my life over and over. There's terrifying people out there. And he rescued me from them. People like me, people like us need people like him. I know what happened last night was scary. And I'm sure he's sorry for that. But maybe we should listen to what he was saying." Carol gave the group a soft mother-like smile, I knew it was just a front. I knew her better than that facade she had been using for everyone since she got here.

I could see the wheels spinning in Deanna's head. Like she was still trying to make up her mind on what to do with Rick and the rest of the group. She had put almost every single one of us in a place of power because that is what we were. Leaders and survivors. The people here had barely ever stepped foot outside their precious walls. My group, my family, we were out there. Fighting everyday to survive. You don't just unlearn that behavior in a day. I knew that and I think despite wanting Deanna knew that as well.

"Simply put...there is a vast ocean of shit that you people don't know shit about. Rick knows every fine grain of said shit...and then some." I didn't know when Abraham had started talking but when I zoned back in he was. He wasn't wrong. Everyone around us just watched as each and everyone of my group defended Rick.

"My father respected Rick Grimes. Rick is a father, too. He's a man with a good heart who feels the things he does, the things he has to do. And all of us who were together before this place, no matter when we found each other, we're family now. Rick started that. And you won't stop it. You can't. And you don't want to. This community, you people...that family...you want to be a part of it, too." Maggie started to speak and I knew if anyone could get to Deanna it would be her. Deanna and her had spent a lot of time together since they came here. Deanna had a faith and trust in Maggie that she very rarely put into anyone. Especially new people.

"Before we hear from anyone else, I. I would like to share something in the spirit of transparency. Father Gabriel came to see me the day before yesterday and he said our new arrivals can't be trusted, that they were dangerous, that they would put themselves before this community. And not one day later, Rick seems to demonstrate all the things Father Gabriel said." Deanna stood and all I could feel was rage. That mother fucker. We had saved him. Rick had saved his sorry ass. He left his whole parish to fucking die and I bet Deanna didn't know shit about that. He turned on us. Gabriel that little rat turned on the people that got him here that helped keep him fucking safe. I curled my hand into a fist and Michonne looked over at me. She shook her head softly and I knew what she was saying without the words. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself.

"I had hoped Gabriel would be here tonight." Deanna finished and the group looked around a bit.

"I don't see him here, Deanna. So you're just saying what someone said. Did you tape him?" Jesse spoke out poking holes right through what Gabriel could have said.

"He's not here." I said with a dull and stern voice.

"Neither is Rick." Deanna said and I watched as Maggie stepped off whispering a small 'excuse me' as she left. She was probably going off to try and find Rick or Gabriel. But who really knew.