"If you are negotiating you must do so in a spirit of reconciliation. Not from the point of view of issuing ultimatums." - Nelson Mandela

It was the usual busy office day. Good thing at magweweeekend na, pwede na naman akong bumisita ulit sa Villa para magchill kahit sandali. Malapit nang matapos ang mga pinapagawa kong camping cabins, baka next month ay ready na siyang buksan for the public. Despite my tight schedule, paminsan minsan sumasagi parin sa isip ko si Tanch, although it was like a brief summer romance but I can't make my mind to forget her.

It is true after all, that the people or events that we happen to regret, was something that made us the happiest. Difficult as may seem but I need to live. I can't let myself down again, not this time. I can't let myself be trapped again from the ghost of the past. Well, that's the reality of life, some love stories last, some don't. This world is cruel, right? The funny thing about love is that a sincere human being gets rejected while the cheater gets two. Just so wow!

And as for Tanch, after our encounter in the cell site, walang tigil siyang magpadala ng kung ano - a bouquet of flowers, chocolate, foods, you can name all gifts but no. I am done with her, hindi ako magpapadala sa mga panunuyo niya. The nerve of that woman! For the fact that she knew my life story, paano niya nagawang saktan at lokohin ako? At ngayon nagmamaang maangan pa siya kung ano ang nagawa niya.

Buti nalang talaga at tumigil na siya sa kakapadala ng kung mga ano dahil wala na talaga akong balak na pansinin siya, she's good as a ghost to me.

"Earth calling Sarah Joy Garcia! Thinking about her again?" Here goes my best friend na walang tigil kakakulit sa akin. I remained silent, wala ako sa mood ngayon para pag usapan na naman ang buhay ko.

"Tama na yan! Why don't we go out tonight?" Rinig ko ulit na salita niya.

As much as I don't want to, but I know hindi ako tatantanan nito.

"Don't you have a business to run, sir? I thought you're back in HongKong?" I said while straightening my back on my seat.

He raised an eyebrow. "You do know that I have much more business here than anywhere in the world."

I smiled mischievously. "Oh! Really? I'm sure your grandmother will be so pleased about it."

He threw a dark glare. "Sarah Joy, did you tell them that I am here? I thought we already agreed?"

I smiled even more, nang makaganti man lang ng konti sa lalaking to. Pero kahit na makulit at chismoso tong tao to, I would always trust him in anyways.

"Did you?" Naiirita niyang ulit sa tanong niya kanina.

I bursted out laughing. "I didn't know that you're scared of your Nonna, Alex. Calm down, will you? I didn't say a word to your grandmother but let me tell you this, they're coming very soon, Dad invited them to the opening."

He released a heavy sigh. "Good thing you told me that. You know how cunning my grandmother could be, I just don't want her to interfere with the affairs of the heart."

"I should say, bilisan mo na yan before pa malaman ni Nonna. Make her say YES, as in ASAP or else you'll find yourself dancing in tune in the palm of her hands. Sige ka!"

"You know what? You're giving me a headache. I really wish that you would not fall into the same kind of situation just like mine." Inis na inis niyang sabi.

"Oh really, Alex? I was already in the same kind of situation - Dad's matchmaking skills are unbelievable but he doesn't do any manipulation. That's the difference."

"Yeah, yeah. I know that, pray that you will not fall into some manipulation."

I brushed off his warning. "As if!"

"Anyway, let's go. We will visit her favorite bar and I'm going to need your help."

"What help?" I asked curiously.

"If I can't win her by wooing her then I have to do some drastic method." He announced like a madman.

"Now, I am a little bit nervous about the help that you're asking me to do."

"Pretend to be my girlfriend tonight. I want to see some green eyes filled with jealousy."

"Oh now I am scared."

"Enough talking. Let's go now!"

Throughout the whole ride to the bar we are discussing things about our stage play tonight. Kung hindi ko lang ito best friend I wouldn't do such thing.

"Just make sure Alex na hindi ako makakalbo or worse mapapatay tonight ng babae mo kundi makakarating talaga to kay Kuya!" Kinakabahan kong sabi sa kanya before we enter the bar like a sweet couple.

"Play along will you?" mahina niyang sabi sa aking mga tainga, almost a whisper.

"Nasusuka ako!" Mahina kong sagot sabay tawa na sobrang amuse na amuse.

For the last two months paulit ulit na lang ang takbo ng buhay ko suyo-rejection-lasing what a never ending cycle. Sobrang sakit lang na ayaw niya akong kausapin and confront me kung ano ba talaga ang kinagagalit niya sa akin. I was left with questions na tanging siya lang ang makakasagot. Ilang beses ko na siyang inaabangan sa office niya para makausap siya but I am not allowed to enter the CEO's office. Wala akong magawa, I can only wait kung kailan niya ako kakausapin ulit. I never fail to ask for forgiveness sa kung ano mang nagawa ko by sending her flowers along with a love letter but I received nothing. Even if I would do everything, it still means nothing, kasi ayaw niya na but I just can't accept that. Ngayon lang ako nagmahal ng ganito until it is not to late. Hinding hindi ko siya susukuan.

"Cuzzy, nakakarami kana." Awat sa akin ng pinsan kong takbuhan ko pag may problema ako. Sa kabila ng lahat ay thankful parin ako because she's always there for me. Isang tawag ko lang sa kanya, she never refuse to come home dito sa Pinas.

Andito kami ngayon sa bar na palagi naming pinupuntahan if I want to get wasted, siya ang nagmimistula kong bantay.

"Cuzzy, Konti pa nga to." sambit ko habang tinuturo ang mga empty bottles.

Pero ang totoo ay medyo nakakaramdam na nga ako ng tama, may konting kirot na sa ulo pero wala lang yun kumpara sa kirot ng puso ko.

"Tanch, hanggang kailan ka ganito? Hindi ka ba naaawa sa sarili mo?" Malungkot niyang tanong sa akin.

Agad kong tinunga ang alak na iniinom ko. "Sir, isang bucket pa dito!"

Umiling iling na lang siya, wala siyang magagawa kasi ayaw ko rin mag papigil.

"Hayaan mo na ako, gusto ko lang malasing para hindi ko na siya maisip pa. Mag iinom ako hanggat gusto ko."

"Hay naku Tanch! O sige sige magpakasawa ka sa alak. Babalikan kita, ladies room muna ako. Dito ka lang ha, wag kang aalis."

Tumango lang ako sa kanya. One thing I like about my cousin, is she never really judge, hinahayaan niya lang ako kahit alam niyang I am doing this because I need an escape. Never siyang nangaral sa akin, she was always there to understand, she was always there...

Natigil ako sa monologue ko...

Hindi ko alam kong guni guni ko lang ba siya but it seems not.

"It's Sarah!" Medyo tipsy kong bulong sa sarili ko.

Hindi ako nagkakamali it's her, kahit pa medyo may tama na ako, how can I forget the face of the person that I love.

Tatayo na sana ako para lapitan siya ng biglang niyakap siya ng isang lalaki. Hindi ko kilala ang lalaki dahil nakatalikod ito sa akin. Shit! shit! Ito ba ang dahilan kaya she wants nothing to do with me kasi may bago siya at ito yung lalaking yun.

Ang lupit mo Babe! Sigaw ko sa utak ko habang unti unting dumadaloy ang aking mga luha.

Ang sakit! Ang sakit na makita ko siyang may kasamang iba pero sobrang pinaka masakit pala yung makita mo mismo kung gaano siya ka saya sa piling ng iba. Ako dapat yung nandoon, ako dapat yung humahawak ng ng kamay niya, ang dahilan ng kanyang mga masayang ngiti. But God knows I am not.

Hindi ikaw Tanch! Hanggang tingin ka nalang sa kanya ngayon, may iba na siyang mahal...

Ou na! Ako na ang magisa at malungkot! sagot ko sa utak ko, sabay lagok ng isang bote.

Hindi ko na alam kung ilang bote ang naubos ko habang pinapanood sila, daig ko pa ang nanuod ng sarili ko execution sa ginagawa ko.

Pero okay narin siguro tong namnamin ko lahat ng sakit para matauhan ako... At least I get to see her na masaya kahit hindi na ako ang dahilan nun... Ganyan Tanch, that was love really means, you will desire nothing, except for her happiness, kahit pa hindi ka kasama sa happiness na yun, kahit pa hindi na ikaw ang dahilan ng happiness niya...

"Cuzzy! Let's go home!" Naalimpungatan ako sa napakalakas na boses. Nakatulog na yata ako sa sobrang kalasingan.

"Iesha?"

"Umuwi na tayo! Makakapatay ako pag hindi pa tayo umuwi. Tarah na?! Nanggigil niyang pahayag.

"Bakit ba?" Nakapikit kong tanong pabalik sa kanya.

"That bastard! He's here at may kasamang iba, kulang na lang mag lampungan sila sa harap ko. Tumayo kana jan! Aalis na tayo!" Alam kong galit na talaga siya kaya hinayaan ko nalang siyang iuwi ako. Wala narin akong lakas kaya hindi na ako pumalag ng isakay niya ako sa sasakyan.

T-Squared Mobile, The CEO's office

Kung hindi pa ako pina papasok ni Dad ay wala talaga akong plan para pumasok ulit sa kumpanya. Halos isang buwan na akong hindi pumapasok simula noong naabutan ko si Sarah kasama ang bago niya sa isang bar.

Simula noon, nawalan ako ng gana sa lahat, party at paglalasing lang ata ang nagbibigay sa akin ng interest ngayon.

And today, is my first day again after a month long leave of absence dahil kung hindi ay ma aalis ako sa posisyon ko sa kumpanya.

"Good Morning, Dad!" Salubong kong bati sa aking ama sabay halik sa kanyang pisngi.

"Good Morning too, my Princess. Have a seat please."

Agad naman akong umupo. Tahimik lang ang daddy and I can see some sadness sa mukha niya.

"Do you know why I called you to my office today?" He started.

"Yes, Dad. Gusto mong pumasok na ako ulit starting today."

"Not only that." Mahina niyang sabi sabay nagpakawala siya ng pinakamalalim na buntong hininga.

"Sa tingin mo hindi ko alam ang pinag gagawa mo?" Mahinahon pero may diin niyang sabi.

"Dad, I'm sorry." Nakayuko kong sagot.

"You're not you anymore, ano ba ang problema, Tanch?"

Hindi ako makasagot. Ayaw kong mag break down sa harap ng Daddy ko.

"I'm so sorry, Dad. Promise hindi na mauulit yun."

"Okay." Tipid niyang sagot.

"Okay, Dad. I'll go now." Tatayo na sana ako pero pinigilan niya ako.

"We are not yet done. In truth, I have enough of it, Tanch." This time I can sense na galit na si Dad.

"Araw, araw kang lasing, kung kani kaninong lalaki ka nakikipag inuman. Ghad! Tanch! Sinasama mo pa si Iesha! Hindi mo ba alam that you're Tita is bursting in anger sa akin dahil hinayaan ko kayong dalawa na nagkaganyan."

"Dad, we are really sorry. Hindi na mangyayari yun ulit."

"No! Ayaw ko ng salita lang Tanch."

Kinakabahan na ako sa ano mang mangyari ngayon, mapapatalsik ng siguro ako sa kumpanya. Sana naman hindi.

"I want you to find yourself a boyfriend." Nakakawindang niyang sabi.

"What?!" Hindi ko makapaniwalang sagot.

"I want you to find a boyfriend na magiging good example at influence sayo."

"But Dad, I can change without any help from any man. Hindi ko kailangan ng good example."

"You have to present a boyfriend at the end of this year."

"For the last time, Dad. I'm not getting myself a boyfriend." I told him in annoyance as I stood from my chair and was ready to leave.

"Present me..." I cut him off. Wala akong ipakikilala at walang pwedeng magcommand sa akin kung ano ang gusto ko.

"I am not getting a boyfriend."

"Hear me out, Tanch." The seriousness of my father's voice gave me a pause.

"Present a boyfriend at the end of this year or else ipapatapon kita sa Ethiopia at ikaw ang mamahala sa Mining Company natin doon."

"Are you insane? You can't do this to me Dad." I asked him in disbelief.

"I will do it, call it a drastic move, but if it's the only way para tumino ka then I will use this ultimatum."

Biglang sumakit ang ulo ko in this sudden turn of events. Hindi ko inaasahan na ito ang mapapala ko today sa pagpasok ko. Hindi pa nga tapos problema ko kay Sarah at eto na naman may dumagdag pa.

Bahala na yan, mag hihire na lang akong may mag papanggap na boyfriend ko at the end of this year. Kung akala mo Dad ay maiisahan mo ako sa ultimatum mo na yan, you're wrong, I ready know my way out.

"You've got quite a smile there." He dragged me out of my reverie.

"Okay, Dad. I'll present you a boyfriend at the end of this year." Nakangiti kong sabi.

"That's good. Present a boyfriend na matino, magandang role model sayo, galing sa business world ang pamilya at syempre gwapo."

And there I know that I am in trouble. Hindi ko maaaring lusutan to. Kung kailangan ko ng lalaking galing sa angkan ng mga corporate world, I might end up myself getting married kung magkataong maghihire lang ako.

"Ikaw na ang bahalang maghanap ng lalaking pasos sa criteria ko. I'll let you choose sinong mamahalin mo basta pasok sa criteria na binigay ko." Dagdag niya pang bilin.

"I'll see what I can do with that." I immediately stood up from my chair and kissed my Dad goodbye. "Goodbye, Dad."

"It's for your own good Princess, sorry."

"I understand." After I closed the door of my father's office ay hindi ko mapigilang hindi mapasandal dito. I'm in so much trouble right now!

.

.

.

After hours of contemplating inside my car to find a solution for my dilemma. I find myself driving to the magnificent building where the person that can wipe all the problems I have resides. This time, I have to be careful and wise. I immediately rode the private elevator going to the CEO's office. Once I arrived at her office I immediately went straight ahead inside.

"Bawal po kayo dito ma'am!" Rinig kong sigaw ng secretary niya.

Binigyan ko lang siya ng triumphant na ngiti before I shut the door in her face.

"What are you doing here?" The person who hates me the most started with a maddening voice.

"I need you to find me a boyfriend." I announced without preamble looking straight into her eyes.

Oh how I miss her lovely face...

*There you go...

Next week ulit ang update. I'll be out in the woods until Monday.

Much Love.