"Ah man, we ran out of eggs." Orion muttered to himself with milk and butter ready in his hands. His plans for a delicious scrambled egg breakfast was now ruined, so a hearty bowl of cereal will have to do. But those plans were soon ruined too as he realized they ran out of milk two days ago.

"Hey Linx, what'd you have for breakfast...?" Orion mumbled, mostly talking to himself. Linx, sitting at the kitchen island, didn't bother answering either way and continued snipping at his snowflakes.

Orion settled for some bread and Nutella, with his cup of coffee already ready. He sat down opposite from Linx and started to scroll through social media. Nothing new popped up, so he clicked the phone to darkness and observed Linx's new found occupation.

Ever since Remi asked him to make snowflakes, he's been sitting here and quietly cutting away. A small mound of scraps would form under his scissors, pushing it to the side when it starts to reach his wrists. By the end of the day a whole hill of oddly shaped triangles would be towering over the kitchen.

Yet the hill of scrapes couldn't be compared to the slowly growing mountain of snowflakes in the living room. At this point, Remi could give his students two or three snowflakes and then hang the rest on his ceiling. No one really cared about the snow mountain though, they're just glad Linx wasn't shut behind his door.

As Linx reached for the next paper, not caring which color he got at this point, he petted the countertop instead. He looked to his left, and to his great disappointment, there was no more paper to be found.

"I think that's our cue to go shopping. Trev and I can go now, we won't be too long." Orion cleaned up and left to get Trev ready. Linx watched him go, boredom already seeping back in.

He grabbed the snowflake he just finished and continued to cut, trying to get more intricate lines. He ignored the dull pain with each cut and contemplated what Orion said.

Should he go to the store as well?

It had been such a long time since he's gone to one that he couldn't associate any words or feeling to what a store is. The only memories he could conjure up were too fast for him to understand, as he usually stole from the stores and tried his best to get out as quickly.

Some reluctance still spread out, his panic attack fresh in his mind. While he still didn't know what happened for him to start shredding his own arms, the taunts which still buzzed from his Father, told him enough. He didn't dwell on it too much and brushed it off, just as any other attack.

Linx got up once he heard footsteps coming and headed towards the entrance. He bent down to put on his gym shoes and stood up to see two sets of questioning gazes. He stared back, not sure what was wrong. So he turned around and opened the door and the frosty blast of winter snapped Orion and Trev out of their thoughts.

"Where are you going?" Orion raised an eyebrow, doubting that Linx would be going outside with the same attire he's been wearing for the past week or so.

"The store." He stepped out and another breeze rode up his T-shirt, goosebumps making a spiky trail on his arm, not that Linx noticed as he continued to stare back. Trev maintained his stare while grabbing two coats from the closet, handing Linx the larger of the two.

"Make sure to wear that the whole time, okay?"

"And this hat too." Orion handed over a fluffy blue hat with a large pom-pom stuck at the end. Linx broke the stare to look at the items, before shrugging them on and leaving the zipper wide open.

Orion leaned over to zip him up, but Linx stepped out and went down the porch, waiting by the car, before he could do so. The two quickly followed in suit, not wanting Linx to break out into fever that'll last another four worrisome days.

Opening the car and making sure everyone was buckled in, the three drove to the store. Some indie rock music played in the background with a soft quietness clinging in the air. Orion bopped his head up and down to the music in his head, looking at the rear mirror to see how Linx was doing from time to time.

Though Orion didn't notice, Linx couldn't stop the shaking of his hands. He stuffed them into his pockets and rolled them up into a fist. It didn't cease the shaking, but at least he felt a little bit more in control.

They pulled into the parking lot, and before they entered, Orion looked over at Linx.

"You sure you want to come? You can wait in the car with some music." The two of them had a bad feeling about Linx coming along, as it was so out of the ordinary for him to join them anywhere that it had to mean something. However, they might've been overthinking since Linx shrugged with no care in the world.

Trev and Orion glanced at each other, not sure what to make of it, and stepped inside the store. They walked around, piling items on top of their cart, when they made a quick pit-stop at the spice section.

"Did Austin say we needed more black or white pepper?"

"I'm pretty sure white, but maybe red pepper? I don't know, text the group chat." Trev fished out his phone at the request and hoped Austin wasn't busy at work.

Linx looked around, leaving bruises on his arms with how hard he was gripping them. The squeaking of the carts, quick glimpse from strangers, crying from children, Linx remembered the bitte urge of avoiding the store.

Too many times was he caught and scolded for stealing, to then come home and face more disappointment. The jealousy that ran through him every time he saw a kid whine to their parents to buy some abstract toy just because they wanted it, fueled his legs to move faster to leave. Along with the fact all the gloom which followed him after each trip, always reminded him of what he lacked.

With the sudden wave of memories, Linx's shaking hands moved up his arms and throughout his body. He tried to stay still by clenching every muscle in his body, but that seemed to only make it worse. Linx wanted to close his eyes and curl into a ball so bad, or maybe just dash away, but the thought of showing weakness with the boys around stopped him from doing so.

Orion turned back around to place the white pepper in the cart when he saw the violent jerks and twitches from Linx, almost knocking into the shelf next to him. His complexion was deathly pale and Orion was afraid he might faint with the lack of blood in his face.

He elbowed Trev and pointed at Linx, to which Trev widened his eyes and looked back at Orion. They knew of Linx's attack, his wrists being the proof of that, yet what were they supposed to do?

Orion took a step forward and attempted to make eye contact with Linx, even with his rapid blinking. Orion had an idea of what was triggering Linx to behave like this, he just needed Linx to focus on him and cooperate just a little.

"Are you okay, Linx? I think I want to go outside for a moment, it's getting quite stuffy here, do you want to come with me?" Soft questions were thrown at Linx, to which Linx only looked over but didn't respond. Both Orion and Trev asked one more time in a gentle voice, when they got a small nod from Linx.

Relived, Trev let Orion take Linx back to the car while he finished up buying everything else.

Orion led Linx through the store, stopping at every corner to make sure no one was near and taking the routes with the least amount of people. He didn't hold Linx's hand to guide him but he hung near enough to Linx to feel his body heat warm up his back.

They exited the store and the rush of cold seemed to awake Linx from his haze. He scanned where he was, a bit disoriented from the lack of events he remembered, and pointed his stare at Orion for an explanation.

Orion didn't say a word, he took out of a pair of cozy gloves and passed it to Linx. He went to grab them and realized why Orion gave them; his hands were shaking so much he had difficulty grabbing the gloves and putting them on. The warmth and steady pressure quietened his shakes to small vibrations and he felt like his vision opened up.

They were in a parking lot, the bright midday sun saying it's greetings, but he could still clearly see the entrance to the store. Cars roared by them and Orion continued to maintain his stare.

"Did you... do you know when you're uncomfortable? You don't have to answer that, but I don't want you to start panicking and us having no idea. Maybe... Maybe snapping your fingers twice to let one of us know your uncomfortable and then we'll go to another place, get some ice cream along the way. How does that sound?"

Linx wanted to snap twice to mess with Orion, but he didn't and focused on the heaviness in his chest to stop from smiling. He also didn't know how to feel about that suggestion, it feeling too vulnerable for him. Linx couldn't let Orion have any hope about it either, so he shut it down.

"No, there's no reason to do that." Orion nodded, not expecting Linx to agree either way, he just simply wanted to let have an option of communication. The noisy cars filled in the silence as they waited for Trev.

The two got lost in their own trains of thought and Linx got swept away by Rose's word from last night. Her statement was of no shock to him because why else would the boys take care of him for the past four years? Of course, it didn't make sense why they would even be attracted to him or could tolerate him.

He didn't delve too much into it, knowing that he wouldn't let himself be in a relationship. The thought of him having sex, kissing, or even cuddling did not sit well with him. He would be too exposed and no escape would be quick enough in those situations.

"Here, let me help you with those bags." Linx zoned back in and offered to help Trev as well, wanting to feel a heavy pressure to steady his hands, but Trev refused because of his sprained wrists. Linx internally rolled his eyes and walked behind them to the car.

They drove back, the music being the only conversation they had going on, and arrived back home. Just one trip was needed to bring everything in and everyone's routine was back.

Linx started to make the snowflakes, Trev went back to the office, and Orion began to clean up around the house.

Linx, after doing the same activity for the past days, was growing tired of making snowflakes. He wasn't sure what to do now, so he explored the kitchen to kill some time.

He found an expired can of beans, a lot of knives and pots, apparently they had a candle drawer, and then he saw the alcohol cabinet. Even though he was pretty sure half the people at Rooster were drunk while fighting, he never had a full glass of alcohol. Sure, a sip here and there for curiosity sake, but the bitter memories kept him away from it.

He studied all the bottles, happy to see no beer cans, and grabbed a random bottle to inspect it some more. It was peach flavored whiskey, a combination Linx didn't know was possible, and he wondered if it smelled like the fruit.

He closed the cabinet and swayed the bottle this and that way. He unscrewed it and sniffed it, the smell of tart peaches wafted through. It was a pretty brown auburn color, almost the same color as Ivy's hair. He sniffed it again and a sudden thirst came over him.

I wonder how Father felt...

Linx never understood why Father would drink or why he would let a mere drink dictate his whole life. Mother tried to explain, but Linx already forgot her sad excuses. Well, most of them at least. He watched the beverage swirl a few times because of Linx's quivering hands and he got a faint idea.

Didn't Mother say alcohol could calm you down?

He grabbed a glass cup and headed to his bedroom, happy to have found a new activity.

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