(A/N: This is going to be in 3rd person because I have been doing that for my other 3 books recently. My apologies if it seems unusual)

Chapter 50: Lust

While Sebastian was completely submerged in his complicated thoughts, Dean watched him with concerned eyes. Sebastian had been the one to invite himself over but with how reserved he was acting, Dean was getting very worried. He and Sebastian had been on good terms recently but obviously, had he done something wrong.

He may have messed up in a way he never realized and now Sebastian was upset. Or, Sebastian could be this bothered because Dean would be leaving in about a week and—Dean gulped just thinking about it—Sebastian might be having second thoughts about staying with Dean while he is gone for work.

Dean stared at the side of Sebastian’s face, soaking in his features. His full brows were furrowed in thought, his brown eyes dark and focused on the ground. Sebastian’s angled jaw had a light dusting of stubble after so many days of skipping shaving to get to breakfast sooner, and that hair went up to create a mustache over his thin pink lips. The light was reflected off of a straight nose and smooth skin, all with a golden brown tone that always made Dean itch to touch his soft skin.

Sebastian was so handsome —so beautiful— that by the time Dean was able to take his eyes off of the man’s appearance, he found himself blown away by his mind. Sebastian would probably be stormed by guys and girls all too willing to stay with him for throughout university. Dean was lucky to have gotten the chance to be with Sebastian as long as he had, he just hoped that Sebastian would be happy whether they stayed together or not.

Sebastian, too occupied in how he would share his feelings with Dean, was oblivious to his mate’s attention. What would he think, Sebastian wondered when he finds out that his boyfriend was obsessing over having sex with him? He hoped that Dean at least took it as a compliment if he didn’t want to do it with Sebastian.

They finally got to Dean’s place and Sebastian’s heart started to beat relentlessly. Even Dean was taken aback by the palpable fear that seemed to be exuding from his boyfriend in waves. What in the world had Sebastian this nervous?

Dean decided that even if Sebastian really was about to break up with him, he wasn’t about to let this go on any longer. The second Sebastian took off his second shoe, he grabbed Sebastian’s upper arm and pulled him over to the sofa.

Sebastian’s eyes had gone wide, surprised by Dean’s bold move. His heart had actually calmed a bit due to the shock but his eyes were still wide open when he found himself seated in front of Dean. His boyfriend had a determined look in his eyes that drilled into Sebastian’s nervous gaze.

Man, I thought I was the one with the news. Sebastian thought to himself while still staring into Dean’s eyes. Dean bit his lip nervously, now peering down at his hands intently. Sebastian didn’t say a word. Despite wanting to say something, he thought it more important that Dean goes first. Dean looked up, his bright eyes piercing into Sebastian’s very soul.

“If you want to break up with me, I will let you go.” Dean said simply, his face blank. Sebastian needed a moment to blink. Once, twice, three times, he was still confused . . .

“What?” He blurted, nothing else coming out of his sputtering mind. A sad smile grew on Dean’s lips, and he took Sebastian’s hands into his own.

“I know that you are nervous and if it is about breaking up with me then know I’m not going to make this difficult for you.” Sebastian’s jaw dropped as Dean dropped his eyes back to their connected hands. Sebastian began to sputter as he finally caught on to what Dean was trying to tell him. “I just want you to be happy.”

Dean frowned, totally confused when Sebastian started to furiously shake his head. Sebastian started chuckling with a wide smile breaking out on his face.

“I’m not breaking up with you!” Sebastian laughed, smiling softly at the perplexed expression on Dean’s face.

“Wha- then what were you nervous about?” He was now genuinely confused as to what would have Sebastian so worried. Sebastian’s smile dimmed a bit at the thought. He almost forgot that he had to ask, but at this point, it seemed basic in comparison to his fear of them splitting.

“I- I want to . . . have sex . . . with you.” Sebastian cringed the second the words began to leave his mouth. But they were already out and Sebastian couldn’t take them back to edit and revise —Dean already got the message. A slight frown appeared on Dean’s face. Dean began to rub Sebastian’s hands that he was still holding while he thought carefully how he would respond.

“Are you sure?” He asked, staring into Sebastian’s eyes with concern. “I want you to be 100% confident in this, Sebastian. Your virginity is so . . . precious.”

“But you’re not one.” Sebastian blurted out before he could reconsider the statement. Dean frowned. “A virgin, I mean.”

“And I still regret giving that part of myself to people that didn’t care about me.” Was Dean’s quick response. It was so immediate Sebastian knew his boyfriend had been thinking about it a lot.

Sebastian bit his lip.

“Do you care about me?” He asked hesitantly, looking up at Dean through his lashes. Dean chuckled as if it was silly for Sebastian to have asked. He took hold of Sebastian’s bicep and gave him a gentle squeeze.

“Of course I do.”

Sebastian’s eyes widened in excitement.

“Then-”

“But that isn’t what I’m talking about.” Dean saw the way that Sebastian deflated, but he couldn’t just succumb to his desires. He had to think responsibly, for both of them. “I can’t have sex with you if you’re not sure.”

Sebastian, deciding to take action, pushed Dean back. Dean gasped as his back fell onto the couch and Sebastian followed, climbing on top of him.

“I am sure, damn it!” Sebastian plopped his ass right onto Dean’s lap, causing the older man to groan under his breath. “I have thought of this over and over again. I am mature, I love you, and I just want your dick in my ass!”

Dean gaped up at Sebastian as the younger man panted a bit from his yelling. Sebastian saw the way that Dean’s face slowly went red and realized why he was blushing. That was when Sebastian realized what he had just done and he went red in the face as well.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered, ducking his chin into his chest. Dean softened a bit at the sight of his boyfriend looking so shy and cute.

“It’s alright.”

Sebastian tried to use his shoulders to shield his face, but when they proved to be poor shields, he brought his hands up to cover his face instead. Sebastian was surprised when he felt one of Dean’s hands on his wrist, pulling it away to expose his eye. Dean slowly brought up his other hand, slipping it under Sebastian’s to hold his cheek.

It was dead silence in the room so Sebastian clearly heard the rustle of fabric as Dean sat up, moving his face closer and closer to Sebastian’s. A smile rested on Dean’s face, small but noticeable, as his lips met Sebastian’s.

Their kiss was agonizingly slow, allowing Sebastian to feel every single dip, curve, and break of skin on Dean’s lips. He loved it so much but couldn’t hold himself back from deepening it. He tilted his head and pushed his jaw forward to connect their mouths like puzzle pieces. Dean sighed in satisfaction when he felt Sebastian’s pink tongue sink into his mouth. His arms dove into his boyfriend’s hair and Sebastian slipped his arms around Dean’s waist.

A surprised yelp escaped from Sebastian’s mouth when he felt his world spin. He opened his eyes to find that Dean was carrying him bridal style. Sebastian’s mouth fell open but Dean wasn’t even looking at him. Dean was way too focused on getting them into his bedroom.

Sebastian yelped again when he flew back onto the bed. The sheets were cold but he was soon warmed by Dean’s body covering his. Their kisses returned with a heated fervour, but all one could hear for the longest time were quiet moans and groans from the pair, incapable of waking even a baby from sleep.

But, as another half an hour passed, their noises grew so loud Sebastian was forced to create a rushed spell to keep their neighbours from hearing it. And Dean was no help at all, continuing in his pleasurable assault and making it nearly impossible for him to finish the spell.

It was in the early hours of the morning that Sebastian finally left, a wide pleased smile on his face, and a bit of a sting below. It was perfect,

Dean was perfect.

~~~~~

With that last barrier between them shattered, Dean and Sebastian tried to spend any moment they could together. They took turns planning outings, dates, or simply promising to meet up to do their work seated side by side. Almost every evening they found themselves slipping into Dean’s bedroom, and there they tried to love each other enough for every month or year they were going to spend apart.

They never stopped trying, but the night before Dean was set to leave, they still felt as if they hadn’t done it enough. And not just having sex, but spending time together, being in each other's arms and telling the other how much they loved them. They started to really regret having ever fought at all since they met, wishing they had gotten to the dating sooner, the “I love you’s” faster—and yes, even Dean wished they had sex earlier.

It just felt as if time was passing too quickly and now, Dean had to go. While both he and Sebastian would mutter under their breaths, hoping and praying that he can finish his work soon, neither of them knew how long it would take. Even Dean’s boss didn’t know how long it would take.

If this night—the one where they laid on Dean’s bed for the umpteenth time, silently staring into each other’s eyes— if this was the last time they could see each other for so many years, they wanted to give everything they had.

“I love you.” Sebastian whispered, breaking the silence to repeat those words for the 57th time that day. He slowly reached out his hand and traced Dean’s thick brow with his finger. Dean caught the wayward hand, bring it to his mouth to kiss the palm.

“I love you too.” He muttered with a husky voice. Sebastian shivered at Dean’s voice and touch since it reminded him of what they had done less than an hour earlier. Sebastian was naked and his hypersensitive body was still responding to everything Dean did.

Dean brought Sebastian’s left hand down to his chest, holding it against his heart. Sebastian smiled at the action, hearing what Dean was saying to him without words, and he loved it.

He loved him.

Sebastian’s smile dimmed when he noticed the slight frown on his boyfriend’s lips. Dean was staring blankly at his white sheets and Sebastian could not tell what was on his mind.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, having learned in the past couple of days that if he didn’t know where Dean stood he should just ask. Dean’s eyes caught his. The familiar spheres, while not as conflicted as Sebastian had first assumed, were still quite worried.

“I have something I wanted to ask you.” Dean explained openly, his voice nervous yet warm. “I know it might sound a bit stupid but I heard that it has worked for others and I want to be able to spend as much of my life by your side as possible. I have considered refusing this job so many times just so I could stay with you longer and if you weren’t so encouraging about it I would be sleeping-in with you tomorrow, not leaving to fly around the world.”

“Gosh, don’t make me regret my decision to let you go.” Sebastian groaned pitifully, being reminded clearly of what the two could do if Dean wasn’t leaving tomorrow. Dean propped himself up on his arms, his eyes widening.

“So you want me to stay?” He asked, a teasing look in his eyes. He loved to rub it into Sebastian’s face how it was he who pushed the final decision. Sebastian rolled his eyes and pushed Dean hard enough to make his mate’s back flop onto the mattress behind him.

“You know I can’t make you stay.” Sebastian sighed softly, his voice turning more serious than he had planned. He smiled sadly at Dean and let out a small chuckle. “I would be a terrible boyfriend, mate, and friend for letting you give up this opportunity, even if you were doing it for me.”

Dean had to look away from Sebastian to collect himself for a moment. He bit his lip briefly before sitting up. Taking Sebastian’s hand within his, he stared down at him with a hopeful expression.

“Then, can we promise each other something?” He asked quietly, his eyes so nervous yet excited. Sebastian just had to smile.

“What?”

“To be mates in our next life, and the one after that, or in all of them actually.” Dean laughed immediately after saying it, realizing how silly he sounded. “I know it sounds silly but it apparently worked for other people and I just wanted to try-”

Sebastian sat up to hug Dean, kissing him softly on the lips. This successfully cut off Dean’s nervous rambles and they both pulled apart with soft smiles.

“It does sound a bit crazy, I have to admit, but why would I ever say no?” Sebastian laughed softly to himself, letting his head drop to rest his forehead against Dean’s. “I love you and I promise that our spirits will be mates for all of our lives to come.”

“I promise that our spirits will be mates for all of our lives to come.” Dean repeated, unable to help himself and pecking Sebastian again. “I love you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So . . . Yeah.

Currently have the last chapter draft and the epilogue in case you’re still wondering how many chapters are left. But they might get extended like so many of the others into two.

Don’t have much to say other than happy 2020

And thanks for 100k on my first book. I felt so bad about not updating anything that I didn’t even celebrate with you guys, so sorry.

Anywho,