A/N: Most of this is made with the help of @BriarRose9810, here's your tag, BriarRose!

Now loading: Kids Next Door mission: Operation C.O.W.G.I.R.L.

Crazy

Old

Woman

Goes

Increasingly

Really

Loco

Kids Next Door run away from a machine, screaming as a lasso pulls them back.

Mr. Fibb: I assume we have those pesky Kids Next Door right where we wanted them Mr. Wink. Where do you supposed they wen-

Lasso Lass interrupts.

Lasso Lass: Looking for us?

Mr. Wink: Our sincerest apologies.

Mr. Fibb: We'll be taking my dome back now.

Lasso Lass: Then take it over my dead body.

Mr. Fibb: Interesting proposal Mr. Wink.

Mr. Wink: Indeed Mr. Fibb.

The tank transforms into a robot with lasers that point at Lasso Lass.

Lasso Lass: Uh oh! Yee Haw!

The Kids Next Door fall down, screaming

Sector V is asleep with Hoagie snoring. Nigel wakes up.

Nigel: Hmmm? This isn't our treehouse. Where are we? We better split up and look for a way out. (A/N: Did anyone else get Scooby Doo vibes from him saying that?)

Lasso Lass opens a door as Sector V gasps.

Lasso Lass: Yee-haw! That sure was a close one, partners, but we showed them adults what for, didn't we?

Nigel: Aaaaand, who are you?

Lasso Lass takes out cork guns and twirls them on her pointer fingers.

Lasso Lass: I'm Lasso Lass, the rootin', tootin', shoot-'em-up hootin'est adult-fightin' cowgirl on this side of the Mississippi!

Nigel: You fight adults?

Lasso Lass: You're darn tootin'! I'm the last member of the rowdiest bunch of grown-up fighters, the cowboy kids club! Welcome to my secret treetop ranch, in all its glory!

Nigel: Glory? This place is a du-!

He screams and falls on the ground. While Lasso Lass walks into her treehouse.

Lasso Lass: Make yourself at home, partners. I keep all the important equipment here safe from any adults who might think of rustling it. Yes sir, only top-shelf equipment here.

Nigel climbs through a window and looks at Lasso Lass's stuff.

Nigel: Top shelf? This stuff is trash!

Lasso Lass: Trash? Why, with this high-tech radio graphamajiggy, I can spy on adults day and night.

She turns on the radio.

Lasso Lass: If I ain't seen at all and what about these super-duper teletalking recivolas?

Sector V except Nigel: Oooh

Lasso Lass: I can use these to relay important news to my teammates.

She puts a can phone up to her ear.

Lasso Lass: Hello?! Can you read me?!

Nigel grabs the other end of the can phone.

Nigel: Hello, would you like to accept a call from the 21st century?!

Nigel hits Lasso Lass with the can phone.

Lasso Lass: Yikes!

Time skip

Lasso Lass has her rope.

Lasso Lass: Hey guys, checks this out!

She jumps through her rope, cheering.

Wally: Whoa!

Hoagie: Check it out!

Kuki and Abby: Wow!

Alastor: Your skills are amazing, senhora (ma'am)!

Nigel: So you can twirl a stupid rope. Big deal. I'm getting out of this dump. When the rest of you are done playing cowboys and imbeciles, maybe we can get back to the treehouse!

Nigel gets pulled back by Lasso Lass's rope.

Lasso Lass: Relax a spell, partner!

Nigel starts to get mad until he sees a photo.

Nigel: Huh? Who are these cowdorks?

Lasso Lass: Only the best dang adult fighters who ever lived. The best until they-

She pauses to sob.

Lasso Lass: They growned up!

Nigel: That's-That's too bad.

Lasso Lass grabs Nigel by the shoulders.

Lasso Lass: But it's ok now. Thanks to you and your friends, we can reform the cowboys kids club!

She laughs.

Nigel: We're not cowboys! Anyways, you can't fight adults if you are one.

Alastor scares everyone when she starts to talk.

Alastor: Sure you can. It's called court. (A/N: Probably one of the best jokes I've come up with!)

Lasso Lass gasps.

Lasso Lass: Well I can't go to this court thing since I'm not an adult!

Nigel and Lasso Lass argue back and forth, until he pulls out her teeth.

Nigel: Does a kid have false teeth?!

Lasso Lass tries to say something but it's muffled by her lack of teeth.

Hoagie: What did you say?

Alastor: What was that?

Lasso Lass grabs her teeth and put them back.

Lasso Lass: I said, I can do anything you cowpokes can!

Nigel: Can you retrieve the dome? We had it until you went and lost it! Can you do it, huh?!

Lasso Lass whistles for her horse and gets on it.

Lasso Lass: Y'all want the dome? Well, you just wait right here and I'll fetch it for ya. Me and Clip-clop won't be but a moment. Y'all make yourselves comfy, ya hear. Hi-ho, Clip-clop, away!

Clip-clop runs off and falls.

Lasso Lass: I meant to do that!

Abby: She may be old but she's pretty cool.

Nigel: She is definitely not cool and now that she's gone, we should get back to the treehouse.

Kuki: But Lasso Lass said she'd be right back and besides she's got all this neat stuff!

Hoagie: Can't we just a little longer?

Hoagie karate kicks some hay as one falls on him.

Nigel groans and facepalms.

Nigel: Fine, whatever!

Sector V waits for Lasso Lass to return with the dome, that is, until... Nigel looks at his watch.

Nigel: Well, I think we've wasted enough time waiting for that crazy lady. Let's get out of here.

Nigel walks away with his team.

Wally: Ooh.

Hoagie: This stinks.

Abby: I can't believe this.

Alastor grumbles.

Hoagie: I don't wanna go.

Lasso Lass: (over radio) Hello, do you read me?

Sector V except Nigel run to the radio.

Sector V except Nigel: Lasso Lass!

Lasso Lass: Howdy partners. I'm at Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb's house and we're having a pizza party. Why don't y'all come on by and-stay away! It's a trap!

Mr. Fibb: Come over now and bring pizza!

Abby: What do we do now?

Kuki: We don't have any of our stuff.

Wally: What do we do?

Kuki: We can't win without weapons.

Hoagie: So? What do we do now, Numbuh 1?

Alastor: Yeah, got any advice, boss?

Time skip to Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb's house

Lasso Lass is tied up over fiery lava.

Lasso Lass: This's the worst pizza party I have ever been to!

Nigel comes up with a pizza box.

Nigel: Hey, did someone order a large pizza?

Mr. Wink: Oh yes, over here. There better not be any onions on it.

Nigel opens the pizza box.

Nigel: Let me check on that. Oops, there are onions on it. I'll have to call this one in.

Nigel winks at Lasso Lass as she smiles and winks back.

Nigel: Kids Next Door, battle stations! Charge!

Nigel jumps on the tree house barn.

Mr. Fibb: This seems to call drastic measures, Mr. Wink.

Mr. Wink: I would agree, Mr. Fibb.

Mr. Wink presses a button and transform the bench as Wally shoots them with the radio. They scream and the machine steps back into the fiery lava. Hoagie cheers but sees the machine grew another leg.

Hoagie: Uh oh.

Hoagie tries again with a in the barn treehouse horse's mouth to grab them.

Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb: Huh?

Mr. Wink: Oh, thank you, Children.

Mr. Wink presses another button and commands the machine to go to the barn treehouse, and make it spin. Sector V screams while spinning, they fall down, groaning.

Mr. Fibb: A most satisfying moment, Mr. Wink.

Sector V gets up.

Nigel: Kids Next Door, present lance!

Kuki, Wally, Abby, and Kimi hold up saddle horses.

Mr. Wink: Such pesky children, Mr. Fibb.

Sector V, Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb attack and a big explosion appears.

Small time skip

Sector V are tied upside down, groaning.

Alastor: Not again, I don't want postural hypotension!

Everyone but Alastor: Huh?

Alastor: Same thing as orthostatic hypotension.

Everyone but Alastor: English please.

Alastor groans.

Alastor: Blood rush to head.

Everyone but Alastor: Oh!

Mr. Fibb: That being said, how appropriate, Lasso Lass, that you would be captured with a group of children. You should've quit years ago. You should've grown up! You should've gone to the prom with me! My second choice! (A/N: Is it funny or sad/pathetic that Mr. Fibb still holds a grudge for Lasso Lass not bring his prom date?)

Mr. Wink: And the downfall of being rejected by your first choice, was my gain.

Mr. Fibb still pathetically crying and sobbing.

Mr. Fibb: Indeed it was, Mr. Wink.

Alastor: Prom? You're pathetic, Mr. Fibb.

Mr. Fibb: SHUT UP!!!!

Mr. Wink: But perhaps now is the time, Mr. Fibb.

Mr. Fibb: Yes, the time is right.

He opens the dome and opens the lid.

Mr. Fibb: Now let's see how you like it, Ms. Lasso Lass, when your greatest enemy has a full head of hair!

Mr. Fibb pulls out something and puts on his head.

Alastor: Quão patético é esse cara? (How pathetic is this guy?)

Lasso Lass gasps.

Lasso Lass: Six-tootin' Timmy! Is that you?

Mr. Fibb: My name is Timothy, and I'm not a member of your stupid club anymore! And would you kind repeating that IN ENGLISH, Numbuh 6.

Mr. Wink: She said 'how pathetic is this guy', Mr. Fibb.

Alastor: You know Portuguese, Mr. Wink?

Mr. Wink: I had a very close friend that was Brazilian. I could tell you're Brazilian by your speaking habit every now and then.

Clip-clop neighs.

Mr. Wink: Yes, Clip-clop. It's me, John.

Lasso Lass: Why Timmy, you're just as cute as I remember. You know, I loves me a boy with a full head of hair!

Nigel: Full head of...that's a toupee!

Mr. Fibb: Shut up! I used to have real hair until it all started falling out when I was fourteen! And you never looked at me the same again, Ms. Lasso Loony!

Lasso Lass and Sector V start swinging to death.

Mr. Fibb: You went to the prom with that blasted Texas Tommy with his full head of hair instead of me!

The tree branch holding Lasso Lass and Clip-clop breaks, having them fall down.

Mr. Fibb: It isn't fair! It's not (A/N: Did Mr. Warburton just decide to have Mr. Fibb be extremely pathetic in this episode?)

Lasso Lass tries to calm Mr. Fibb down.

Lasso Lass: There, there. It's ok. Let me fix that for you.

Lasso Lass fixes the toupee while Mr. Fibb cries.

Lasso Lass: Now that's the Timmy I remember.

Mr. Fibb: Huh? Do you really think it looks okay?

Lasso Lass: It sure does! Rrrr-ow! (A/N: What did I just write?) In fact, it looks so nice that I could just-well-I could...I could...I could just kiss ya!

Lasso Lass starts making smooching noises.

Mr. Fibb: Um, uh...uh...that's ok, I, um...

Mr. Fibb runs away, screaming. (A/N: Dude, you hold a grudge against her for not taking you to the prom, but as soon as she wants to kiss you, you 180 hightail it outta there?)

Clip-clop wolf whistles and snorts at Mr. Wink. (A/N: What am I even writing?) Mr. Wink also runs off, screaming.

Lasso Lass: High-ho, Clip-clop, away!

Lasso Lass rides Clip-clop after the two screaming men and hits a fence.

Lasso Lass: I meant to do that! Yee-haw!

Wally: So long, partner!

Hoagie: Maybe our trails will meet again!

Nigel: Aw, knock it off!

Alastor: Giddy up, little pony!

Abby: Don't let the rustlers get you!

Nigel: I said cut it out!

Kuki giggles.

Kuki: Yippe-ki-yo-yo-yo!

Nigel: Ugh!

End transmission.

Trivia

- Mr. Wink's mention of his prom date, and his Brazilian friend is foreshadowing the events of Operation A.F.L.O.A.T.

- This is the first time someone understands Alastor's Portuguese speaking habit