This was also a request from @Frak44

Now loading: Kids Next Door mission: Operation E.N.G.L.A.N.D.

Evidently

Not

Getting

Language

Annoys

Nigel

Desperately

Nigel: But daaaaaaad! Why do I have to come to England with you on a business trip?

Alastor: And I still don't get why I'm here.

Monty: Well, why not, Nigel old bean; don't you want visit where you grew up with your old dad? And Lenore, your father gave me permission to take you with me so you can explore the culture of England.

Nigel: We moved away when I was, like, 3 years old. I don't remember anything about the place. I don't have any friends there, I can't even speak the language.

Alastor: And I've never been to England, Sr. Uno! What if I say something offense in English that's only offensive to them in England?

Monty laughs.

Monty: It's the same language as in America, but with the "Hey what?", or "I say!", thrown in. That's all.

Nigel: Well, I'd still rather be home with my friends.

Alastor: Ditto to that.

Trevor stares at Nigel and Alastor, moving closer to them. They look at Trevor.

Trevor: Going to England, eh?

Nigel: Yes

Trevor: Guess what?

Nigel: What?

Trevor: I'm going to England too!

Nigel: What a coincidence.

Trevor: And you know what else? I used to live in England before I moved to the United States.

Nigel: Really? So did I.

Trevor: What about her?

Alastor: I'm originally from Brazil with some roots in North Korea before moving to the United States.

Trevor shakes Nigel's hand before shaking Alastor's.

Trevor: The name's Trevor. I just moved a couple of weeks ago, but I have to rush back to take care of a little buisness. A bit of a mission if you will?

Nigel: A mission?!

Alastor: I'm starting to like this trip now!

Trevor shows them a book.

Trevor: Right-o! I've got to return this book to where it belongs! But a lot of filthy chaps would love to get their hands upon it.

Nigel: What's so important about it?

Alastor: Does it hold lots of secrets?

Flight attendant: I say lads, we've begun our landing, so kindly fasten your seatbelts.

Trevor taps his nose.

Trevor: Later.

In the airport.

Trevor: So, as I was saying, this book is perhaps most important-

Trevor gasps as he spots a boy wearing circular sunglasses and wearing a black suit.

Nigel: What?

Alastor: Are you sick?

Trevor gives Nigel the book.

Trevor: Here! Meet me in The Great Library before midnight!

Nigel: But I don't-

Trevor: Just be there! AND BRING THE BOOK!

Trevor runs away.

Nigel: But I don't know where--Numbuh 6, do you have any kind of location of this Great Library?

Alastor: I can try to get some kind of map or something but I have to change.

Nigel: Change? Why? You look like you always do.

Alastor: I might be overthinking things but that gasp meant something bad. So I brought a disguise to wear so no one suspects something with me.

Alastor runs off.

Ending the scene there for a second

(The outfit Alastor's wearing)

Nigel: Good evening passengers, we're now boarding flight eleventy hundred to rootin' tootin' Dallas, Texas.

A bunch of Texan people run over the people chasing Nigel. Alastor runs up to Nigel.

Nigel: There you are! I've been chased for-what on earth are you wearing?

Alastor: I'm posing as an English nanny with the kid she's looking after.

Nigel: I thought you didn't have any luggage?

Alastor: I did. I just had my backpack. I'm allowed to bring a civilian disguise but not shoes with rockets hidden in them or a metal all purpose communicator. Right, best foot forward now, spit spot.

Alastor starts to run away as Nigel follows behind her. They suddenly stop.

Nigel: Great. Now how do I find-

Hands grab Nigel and Alastor's shirts.

Nigel and Alastor: Huh?

The hands yanks them into a car.

Nigel: Wow. Thanks for the rescue. Those guys almost had me.

Tennis boy: Tight spot, what? Saw those blighties chasing ya. Run, run, run, downy apples and pears and through the baggies and fright without ya nanny, so thought we'd help, eh?

Alastor: Told ya the disguise would work.

Nigel: Uhh, excuse me? I don't understand.

Tennis Boy: Don't understand, says the Governor, knowingly, knowlingly. Very good, in time for a spot of trouble, eh? Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, say no more, eh?

Nigel: No, I'm here with my father and-

Tennis Boy: Father? Say no more, but looks like the Kids Next Door found you, eh?

Nigel: You're the English Kids Next Door?

Everyone but Nigel and Alastor laugh.

Tennis Boy: Kids Next Door's such a bobby little blind bat on Sunday. Haha wink-wink nudge-nudge, eh? So, what say we pop around the Jack and I stend you a couple of rodder and we rub it on a bit, eh?

They go to a soda bar, while the guard girl tells a joke that Alastor and Nigel don't understand.

Nigel: Uh, listen guys. I'd love to stay and have another 15 sodas with you, but: A: I have no idea what any of you are saying and B: I kinda have to be somewhere soon.

Alastor: It's high time to clean the nursery. Isn't it, Nigel?

Tennis Boy: Meeting someone, wink wink nudge nudge, meeting someone, someone you're meeting, eh meet meeting someone?

Alastor: Esse garoto está começando a me irritar. (This boy is starting to annoy me).

Nigel pulls out his book.

Nigel: Well, I'm supposed to bring this book to some place called The Great Libary.

The group gasps.

The Brute: Richard and Mary?

Tennis Boy: Say no more. Take you there we will, said the bishop to the barrister over a pint of bubbling squeak. So let's take a butcher at this fish, eh?

A wall explodes and in come the people from the airport.

British Agent: The book, NOW!

Tennis boy jumps on the table.

Tennis boy: Kids Next Doooor-!

Nigel: BATTLE STATIONS-

The brute grabs Nigel's and Alastor's shirts and drags them outside.

Nigel: What are you doing?! We can help you fight them! We've got to go back and show those guys who's-.

The brute removes a sewer lid.

Brute: Right, just follow the butcher's funnel and you'll reach the Richard and Mary.

Alastor: Blimey Chim Chimney, that outta step in time with a lotta sense.

Nigel: Wait! I get it now! Richard and Mary rhymes with libary. That is so coo-

The brute throws them in the sewer, screaming. They sit in the sewer and are eventually found by Trevor. Trevor pets their heads until the wake up.

Trevor: Nigel, Lenore, wake up! I'm so glad you found the secret way into The Great Libary. I knew you were clever ones. Did you bring the book?

Nigel and Alastor stand up.

Nigel: Yeah and you were right. Lots of people do want to get their hands on it.

Trevor: Nevermind that, just follow me c'mon.

They walk down the sewer and reach a dead end.

Nigel: But this is a dead end.

Trevor: Or so it appears.

Trevor sticks a torch in a pipe as the wall opens up to reveal the library.

Trevor: Go on then.

Nigel and Alastor walk into the library.

Nigel: Wow! So this is The Great Libary. It's amazing!

Alastor: It's practically perfect in every way. It's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Trevor: Yes, yes, just unwrap the book and let's get on with it! We're running out of time!

The scarf girl emerges from the shadows and takes Trevor away.

Nigel: Alright, I've been dying to find out wha-

The suit boy comes out from behind

British Agent: It really is a fascinating book, you know? I don't know how Trevor got a hold of it, or why he gave it to you, but I'm afraid that this game is now over.

He walks toward Nigel and Alastor as the two others appear behind them.

Nigel: Wh...why do you want this book so badly?

Alastor: Does a stupid book mean that much to you?

British Agent walks around the American kids.

British Agent: Imagine a book filled with the stories of thousands of kids. Their adventures, their tactics, their secrets. That kind of information could bring an organization like the Kids Next Door to its knees.

Nigel: The Kids Next Door?! Then this is the legendary Book of KND?

British Agent: The same one discovered by Numbuh 0, himself. And inscribed with the story of every Kids Next Door operative before they were decommissioned.

He knocks the book out of Nigel's hand with his umbrella.

Nigel: Hey!

Alastor holds her umbrella out to the Agent as him and his group laugh.

Nigel: What happened to your hockey stick?

Alastor: Does an English nanny seem like someone who carries around an ice hockey stick?

Nigel: Good point, I guess.

Scarf girl: Shut it!

British Agent: And now it's ours.

The brute pushes them off, making the book fall. Nigel grabs the book.

Nigel: You didn't think the Kids Next Door would let you get away with stealing our book, did you?!

British Agent: You're a Kids Next Door operative?

Nigel: Only the Numbuh 1.

Alastor: And Numbuh 6!

Nigel: With a little help from our friends in Sector E, here.

Scarf girl: We are Sector E, you stupid git's!

Alastor: Well this ain't a jolly holiday.

Nigel: But, if you're Sector E, then who are-

The fake Sector E growls and the brute shoves Nigel off the book.

British Agent: Those are the Rowdy Hooligans From Across The Square! And you just gave them the book of KND!

Alastor: This is shocking but close your mouth, Nigel! We are not a codfish!

Nigel: You're taking this nanny disguise way too seriously, Numbuh 6.

The guard girl grabs the book and hands it to Tennis boy.

Guard girl: Right then, let's take a butchers at this here fish, eh?

Tennis boy: Well, say no more. Father will be most pleased when we tell him we found the-

He tears off the wrapping paper to find the not book of KND.

Tennis boy: Rainbow Monkeys Tea & Crumpets Picnic?!

Trevor grabs the book.

Trevor: Give me that! I've got less than a minute to return this book or it'll be...overdue!

He runs to the deposit as it closes.

Trevor: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 25 pence down the drain.

Nigel: Uhhhhhhh--

Scarf Girl: About 50 cents American, mate.

British Agent: Right then, looks like global command's info about the Book of KND being stolen was a bit dodgy, eh what?

Nigel: Dodgy? Try completely wrong! You've been chasing me all night over a stupid rainbow monkey book?!

British Agent: Actually, I hear it's a jolly good read, what. I've been asking Trevor to borrow it for quite some time but he insists I take it out of the libary after he's done with it.

Trevor bangs on the deposit box.

Trevor: You're never careful with your books. Always eating kippers while you're reading and mucking them all up.

British Agent: Right then, what say we pop around the Jack for a couple of rhodas and rabbit on a bit?

Tennis Boy: Say no more, orange bubbly EE in the roundhouse, eh? Wink wink nudge nudge honk hon-

Nigel and Alastor appear between them

Nigel: What are you doing?! They're our enemies. Aren't you going to fight?!

British Agent: Fight, over a rainbow monkey book? What do you think we are, Americans?

Alastor: Should we take offense to that?

Back at the soda bar. Nigel tells a hard to understand joke, which everyone laughs at.

Alastor: And cork it down with a spoonful of sugar.

Monty laughs.

Monty: That was a good one, kids!

Nigel: And I have no idea what I just said.

Alastor: Neither do I.

End transmission

Trivia

- The outfit worn by Alastor is a clear reference to Mary Poppins' outfit

- Alastor made numerous Mary Poppins references in this episode

- She tells Nigel best foot forward now, spit spot, the same thing Mary tells Jane and Michael

- When Alastor makes an excuse for her and Nigel to leave, she comes up with cleaning the nursery, the same activity that Mary does with the Banks children

- Alastor calls the brute Chim Chimney, the same name of the song Mary sings with Bert

- When Alastor gets what the brute is saying, she says "that outta step in time with a lotta sense", Step In Time is the name of the song done by Bert and the other chimney sweepers

- When first seeing the library, Alastor calls it practically perfect in every way, a reference to what Mary is after getting her measurements, she also says it's "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" Mary's word to say when you don't know what to say

- After finding out the real Sector E, Alastor says "well this ain't a jolly holiday", a reference to the duet song with Mary and Bert

- After the British Agent reveals the Rowdy Hooligans From Across The Square, Alastor scolds Nigel to close his mouth since he's not a codfish, this is the same thing Mary tells Michael

- After Nigel tells the hard to understand joke, Alastor adds "And cork it down with a spoonful of sugar", a reference to what helps the medicine go down