Warnings, mentions of gore and some assault.

She sprouted love like flowers,

Grew a garden in her mind,

And even on the darkest days,

From her smile the sun still shined.

-

The glint of the metal band around her ring finger irked her, the more Y/N stared at it with a deep frown.

She had come to realise that the engagement ring given to her wasn't what she liked nor wanted from her betrothed.

Cornelius and her had made it official in front of both of their parents; under a gazebo in the middle of the fallen leaves of Derry's square.

When her fiance had pulled out the ring and gotten on one knee, Y/N had only one thought in her head; pretending to smile with fake glee through the proposal.

Why me?

She would be bound by marriage in the laws of God as newly weds, with a man she didn't love nor want to be with.

All because she had been too innocent and naive to say no to Henrietta that night after the Derry carnival.

She had recalled that evening, sweet music filled the air as they sat by the quarry, talking separately and Y/N had sweetly spoken with Cornelius about anything a lady like herself would talk about.

When he had gone into kiss her, she was profoundly surprised, and yet, no feelings or flutters settled in her stomach nor did her heart swoon at her first kiss being taken.

Apart of her had died that evening, wishing and begging for that to all go away.

She instead felt more disgusted... wishing it could've been with another.

The clown, the one who had the name of Pennywise. How was he... or It? She was unsure how to speak about the circus clown when they had first met, and yet, It had been on her mind ever since that day.

Y/N sighed heavily with doubt. A clown like the ones that night would he moving around with their new crew, enjoying performances in new towns and living life to their best... not stuck in a deal struck with the devil.

The H/C haired female crossed her legs, looking beyond the small river that connected itself with the barrens of Derry; alone and to herself, she found that she came here often when she wanted to be alone.

"What are you doing out here little one?"

That voice... it had made her heart pound a little quicker in her corset when she had turned to see that the same clown was sat beside her; as if It had been there this whole time.

She opened and closed her mouth, collecting her words when none came to her head. "Pennywise? What are you doing here?"

The clown was in its usual attire of puffy clown clothes and vivid bright makeup, but there were stains here and there when she squinted closely, stains she was unsure of what they could be and not wanting to find out.

And its makeup... was tainted in the same mysterious stains that were mainly around its mouth; like It had been mid-feasting on a heavy meal before stumbling across her there.

She met those eyes, bright and bulbous, a vivid blue that popped so beautifully that they matched the sky on a summer's day.

Pennywise shrugged, a garbled warble of a deep laugh rumbling in its chest.

"Why, I live here, don't ya remember Y/N?"

Y/N didn't know whether to question the choice of words, but she found herself asking. "Do you still perform for the circus?"

Pennywise's eyes lit up at the words, buck teeth pronounced in its mouth. "Oh yes! The little ones love a good performance! They love the circus too! They alllllways come back."

"I'm sure they do." Y/N's voice quieted, as she looked onwards at the flowing river. It was only in her peripheral view that she saw how close up beside her the clown was.

She blinked owlishly it's way, "Is something the matter?"

The clown frowned, thin lines for eyebrows narrowed, looking on at her reactions. "You're sad. I can smell it in you."

Y/N had snorted then and there, not caring how unladylike it sounded. She grew not to care slowly.

"Guess it can't be helped."

Pennywise drew a red balloon from mid air, presenting to her with a buck-tooth grin. "Would a balloon make you happy Y/N?"

She laughed dryly, shaking her head in disbelief. "Aren't you the sweetest... I bet you can make anyone's troubles disappear."

Pennywise didn't reply at her words, and in a blink of an eye, the blood that was the same colour of burnt burgundy had disappeared along its face and suit, spotless and clean again.

Y/N looked on at the water, a peaceful view as she slowly twisted the band on her finger in thought.

"Tell me Pennywise.... what's it like working at the circus?"

"Oh, everyone loves it! The cotton candy, hot dogs, you name it, they have! The laughter is endless, and it's all here with me."

Y/N stared at It with a look only described as jealous. She stared away.

"I always wanted to join the circus. How foolish really... a girl like me, trying to act my way through shows and trying to make those laugh."

"Pennywise doesn't think so. You would make for a great act!" The clown rabbled, bells jingling with glee.

"Really?"

"Oh yes, the children would love you, the laughter would be forever."

Maybe if marriage isn't for me, I could always end up running away? She thought. "Say... maybe I could run away with you to the circus. It doesn't seem that far from Derry. Why, how often does it move?"

Pennywise gave a cheerful giggle, shaking his head. "Little one the circus never leaves. The storm just bleeew it away."

Confused, Y/N stared at the clown beside her, watching the face of It seem to be paused on the spot, mouth slightly agape, drool dripping from its bottom lip with no care.

On instinct, Y/N pulled forth her handkerchief from her purse, mumbling to herself how a clown could just drool into its lap, her hand hovering to wipe it away.

Pennywise's flashed from summer blue to dangerous yellow, locking with hers as a gloved hand came and stopped her from moving anywhere closer.

Agape, the grip around her wrist was tight and stronger than she realised, staring into what she had thought was a clown all along.

"You're... you're not really a clown, are you?"

Pennywise recollected itself, the wall eye rolling back into place to focus on her. It giggled once again, a raucous frightful sound that was more wolfish than human sounding.

"Sometimes, it's best to fear the unknown little one."

The blood, the blue-turning-yellow eyes, this was no ordinary clown. And Y/N was growing fretful, unsure whether she wanted to really know or not herself.

Pennywise abruptly stood, shaking itself in his puffy clown clothes with another shake of his bells, stretching.

"I best be leaving now. I'm needed for more... urgent matters." A loud boop on the nose it gave her as the entity chuckled, eyes hauntingly staring into her being.

"I'll be seeing you soon."

-

"Thanks nan! I'll heat these up right away when I get home!"

The ding from the shop cutting into the crisp cool summer air made Y/N's skin shudder, smiling back at the kind lady she knew well.

"Take care dear! Take care riding on the streets, you know what some people can be like nowadays." Her nan's sweet voice was no match for the dread that ran through Y/N's mind, for she would fear the thought of going home alone.

"I will... I'll give you a call when I get in, love you and see you tomorrow!" She beamed, putting the warmed leftovers into her bag, heading off into the cool night of the high street back home.

The 18-year-old had been seen more and more working at her nan's florist shop, even into the evenings, just to get her mind off certain things, but all the very same, Y/N braced for the worst when it came to going back home.

After her mother had returned from her trip, it was the only place Y/N could avoid, trying her best to stay away as much as possible.

Her mom was one of the few she could barely stand to see in this moment in her life, and anything that involved her, was more jarring than having to face down It.

Y/N counted the hours and minutes, thinking to her exact method of getting home just in time before her mom's car turned up; maybe she could have enough time to reheat up her leftovers and run up the stairs to her room before that door opened.

She would have to be quick, after all, her bike was left back home and couldn't give her the speed tonight to get home any faster, so she had to count on speed walking the majority of the way home.

Her legs were sore and stiff, a heaviness settled in her stomach and a stitch forming as she took turns running then walking then jogging down the road, until there was a sweat she couldn't get rid of.

There were few people around still loitering in Derry at this time in the evening; mainly adults closing up store for the night and barely any kids.

The lockdown as usual was the biggest victim when it came to bringing fear to those of what was out there.

Unfortunately to Y/N, it felt like she was one of the select few who knew of the reasons behind the missing children, and a sad thought for it made her feel sick to her stomach.

I'll be home soon. She promised herself, ignoring the aches and pains in her joints. I can get away from it all.

She passed through several cut off alleyways, lights softly glowing in the distance in some pubs and restaurants; a beautiful soft orange glow.

For some reason, Y/N's mind reminded her of the eyes of a certain clown.

Dismissing it, she walked down past the bustling pub doors, open wide with fellow locals of Derry sitting around and drinking the night away.

Y/N rounded the corner with some speed in her step, coming up to go down a quick road that would make it easier to get to her neighbourhood.

"Woah, woah, what's the rush missy?" The voice had come from a disembodied part of the darkness, a hand rushing to take her by both the shoulders as she stopped herself from screaming, bumping into the man who had appeared out of nowhere in the darkness.

"I'm sorry sir - please I need to get home." Her voice was certainly filled with the fear of being here with this stranger, a man who looked to be in his late twenties and yet more capable in overpowering if the moment came for it.

"Nah, nah, please, the night is still young. And a lovely little thing like you should spend the time with me." He slurred, his breath smoking with a fresh smell of whiskey, making her insides turn to mish in disgust.

"I can make you really happy doll." His hands roamed along her shoulders with not much of a caress, eyes hard with the intent of what any madman would want to do to a girl like her. "Just one drink."

"." Y/N pleaded harshly, and a rough hand came up to grab her by the face, holding her gruffly as she stared up into the man's face with horror.

"A doll like you shouldn't be out here, but daddy can look after you. Do you have one? Or did he leave you for a younger, more beautiful woman?" The man roughly backed her into the wall behind, all sense of freedom slowly sinking away as she was being enveloped by the abyss.

The cool, slick wall pressed into her back, and she found herself whimpering in the back of her throat, a simple way for help when no one would hear her.

"Hmmm, but you could be my sugar, couldn't ya?" His fingers roamed lower, and Y/N bit her tongue hard enough the more she tried struggling to break free.

"You young little thing, I could break you with my little finger so simply. You would like that wouldn't you? You simple slut, wouldn't you?"

"Get off of me, no please! Get off me!" Her words begged, tears she was unknown of having were falling and wetting her cheeks.

In the moment of adrenaline pumping in ber veins, she swung her bag out with enough force, a horrifying crunch coming from in front of her as the man cried in pain, clutching at his head as an opportunity came.

Y/N leapt out, not even taking two steps before she was taken by the throat as she was backed into the wall once again with more force, a blunt pain that dulled in the back of her head came over as her vision blurred for some seconds.

The man was up in her face, screaming every word under the sun to her, a force around her throat making her try and push back, until she felt no longer her feet resting on the ground.

Her vision blackened with white dots appearing everytime she blinked slowly, a metallic smell hit her nostrils that she was sure was blood from both of them.

In this moment, Y/N could barely even see the man who was trying to strangle her dead.

The pain was causing her to grow more and more numb, as she fought weakly to fight for her life, to live as long as possible and not be killed by the hands of a rapist.

Laughter could be heard over her being strangled, garbled and manic, she was certain a loose like that couldn't be possible to produce, but she was staring back into Death's gullet.

Darkness spread in the edges of her vision, desperately and feebly crying to get out.

With one final whimper of a name, she called out as loud as she could in hopes they were there to hear.

"P-Penny-"

The name passed over her lips like a prayer, and for that second, she thought she was done for.

The man had been cut from laughing when he was pushed back and away from her, causing her body to crash back to earth in a crumbling heap.

She sputtered and wheezed cheered breath, her lungs burning as she was breathed life into her.

Her ears could hear the sounds of confused and hesitant questionings, and when she looked up... those same drunk eyes were staring back into hers, pleading, begging for her to save him.

Orange eyes, with red on the outside rims filled the sharpness of the darkness, staring back into hers. Those eyes. Those were the eyes so used to killing, that she had grown used to them herself.

"P-please, God please, f*ck-- I'm sorry! Help me, please!" The man begged her who was before trying to kill her, and she had only watched.

Jaws, teeth with rows upon rows of them, a sound of a roar and cry as Y/N simply watched as the eldritch took a feast so simply.

And the bite was red and as cold as death itself.

It sprayed across her face that she hadn't been aware how close it had been to her face, spraying like a hose across her skin like a sprinkler.

Choking, she could hear choking, from a man who was once living, now drowning in its blood and still alive as he was eaten right in front of her.

By the time It had finished, all that remained was the pool of blood that stained the concrete.

Pennywise loomed above her, its shadowy figure only seen... and those eyes, why were they so angry?

She blinked and there was a hand, tangling through her hair with some confidentiality of finding something and when those gloves fingers reached the back of her head was when she cried in pain.

"Penny..." she spoke its name like a drug she couldn't get enough of, as the creature stared back to her.

"-silly human- I'm here." Was all Y/N could hear over a ringing in her ears, being scooped up into the arms of the clown as she was taken out from the alleyway.

Her vision had cut out when she finally felt safe, and when she had awoken, there was still a throbbing pain in the back of her head, numbed down until it was almost something she thought she had dreamt-

No, it was no dream. Y/N pondered and she put a tentative hand to her head and there were bandages.

She was home again, in her bed in utter darkness, the streetlights still glowing but with no knowing of what time it could possibly be.

She threw her comforter off of her, feeling for her light switch when she felt the rubbery texture in her fingers.

Turning the light of, she was found with a simple message, drawn hastily in a child-like manner on a popped red balloon:

I believe we're even now.

-

So, the weird flashback to old reader is when YN is engaged and before she really is thinking to what will happen to her.

Her and Penny's meeting go back and forth between doppelganger to modern YN, but hopefully you guys can figure it out between which one is which.

Hope you enjoyed it, see you soon!

- Mockingbirdsdontsing