"Hi." He didn't say anything, just stared at me almost in shock. "Are you okay?" I asked hesitantly. He nodded but still didn't say a word. "I'm a little scared. You haven't said one word," I exhaled.

"I'm fine," he said.

"Okay," I said slowly before keeping my hands focused on his tie and continuing to dance. I go to Landon after this and that can't be as awkward as this.

"I think I made a mistake with you," he said, breaking the silence. I looked up at him, waiting for him to continue. "I don't think I should have told you I loved you when I did. I think I should have waited," he sighed.

"I made you tell me, Nick. I almost told you first," I shrugged. "Nick, I think two people can love each other and not be in a titled relationship. A relationship without a title is still a relationship. You may not have been my boyfriend, but we were still together," I tried explaining. "You don't have to be my boyfriend for me to love you."

He sighed while looking around. "But isn't that how it's supposed to go? You meet, talk, get to know each other, flirt, start liking each other, ask the other person out, go on a few dates, ask the other person to be your girlfriend or boyfriend and then say I love you?" he asked.

"Not necessarily," I shrugged, "And we already did that the first time we were together, why do it again?" I asked.

"Emma, I think-" he began but we had to switch partners again.

"I think we're out of time," I said before he spun me and passed me on.

"Hey," Landon said.

"Hey," I nodded.

"Have you talked to him?" he questioned.

"I guess, but there's really nothing left to talk about, Landon. We're done."

Everyone's attention was turned to the head of the table where William's dad had clinked his glass for a toast. He gave his speech which focused on wishing William and Madeline all the best and what he hopes their future can hold and next up was Matt. I was a little nervous because the last time he gave a speech, he put Nick and I under the spotlight. Let's hope he does nothing of that sort this time.

"I will save my speech about the two of you for the big day tomorrow but tonight, I just want to take a minute to talk about love," Matt cleared his throat, "Excuse my language here, but love is bullshit," he laughed.

I saw Jen trying to grab his arm and pull him back to his seat but he wasn't budging.

"And this speech isn't all negative so just hear me out," he paused, "Love is extremely fragile. If you take care of it, it lasts. If not, then it doesn't. It's no secret that it takes two to tango, especially in love. But the problem with people is that we're all very stubborn. Love isn't perfect, and it doesn't come easy. You have to fight for it, fight to keep it, fight to have it, and fight to make it last, and you have to do it all together. Because if you don't, it'll slip right out of your fingers."

This speech seems very directed to certain people. Nick and me.

"It's a short word, and very overrated, but very difficult to define. In fact, most people don't agree on one definition because their past tells them differently. Love is painful for some, joyful for others, draining for some, and for others it comes easy and flows. Like Madeline and William. You two have been together a long, long time and not once has your love faltered which truly is a blessing. But for others, it's painful."

I don't think I can hear this speech. Listening to him talk about love is only making it clearer in my mind that the love Nick and I have isn't strong enough.

"It's painful and tiring and a weight on your shoulders. But you have to push through. Stay together and fight against the problem, because it's never two people against each other. It's two people together against the problem. Be patient, be cautious, be grateful, be supportive, be understanding and don't let go of each other. Your goal should be to make it through the problem together. If you do it together, then all of it will always be worth it. With that being said, I wish you two all the best."

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I stared at my reflection in the mirror of my bathroom, not knowing what to do. That speech made it all the more difficult to not break down again like I had last night so I did what anyone else would do. I avoided everyone, ate in silence and then ran out of there using a headache as an excuse.

I sighed and turned the bathroom light off, going and collapsing on my bed now that my makeup was off, my hair was down and I was in my pajamas. I lay back and stared at the ceiling, feeling my insides twist and churn while tears flowed out of my eyes. I just lay there, my tears disappearing into my hair and the sheets under me. I could feel my heart breaking. And I wish I was just being melodramatic.

I know the problem between Nick and me is one that can be easily solved, but what hurt the most was how easily we fucked it all up. Both of us. Maybe he shouldn't have just left, maybe I should have just said yes and put us before myself, maybe we both should have thought this through. But is that just how it's gonna be with us?

We're still so young, we're immature, we're dumb, we're stupid but you can't afford to do that with love. I mean, what if we took it further. If we're together in the future and we stay the same, we stay stupid, we'll only break our hearts again and again. We just keep messing it all up.

A knock on my door brought me out of my trance and I snapped out of it, wiping my eyes dry before going and getting the door.

"Hey," he leaned against the door, "What happened?" his eyes scanned my face.

"Let's just say I don't like speeches. Do you need anything?" I asked while running my hand through my hair.

"Can we talk?" he raised his eyebrows at me.

"You wanna talk?" I asked, slightly surprised.

He nodded and so I stepped aside and let him in. We sat on the edge of the bed in silence for a moment until he broke it. "I should have waited," he mumbled while nodding slowly.

"Nick, maybe we just aren't meant to work. Sometimes we wait too long, sometimes we don't wait long enough. I don't know what to do anymore," I shrugged lightly.

"You're telling me you think we should just quit trying?" he asked, seeming shocked and hurt.

I nodded.

"Really? Cause I don't believe you. If you really thought we weren't meant to work then you wouldn't be crying before I got here."

I guess that's true.

"Nick, we've been together twice and both times it's ended horribly," I sighed.

"Okay, and what about the actual relationship? Was that horrible too?" he questioned.

"Of course not," I huffed.

"Then what is the harm in trying again?" he asked.

"This isn't a game that you just get another shot at if it doesn't work one time. We can't start over every time this doesn't work because it's not working for a reason. Nick, I can't keep forgetting what happens, and putting the pain behind me. I don't want to do that anymore," I explained.

"What is it that you want then?" he sighed.

"I want to find someone and be in a happy, not so problematic relationship," I answered.

"Relationships come with problems, Emma," he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Really? You're telling me this after you left when I said no to being your girlfriend this instant?" I asked.

"Why would anyone want to stay after someone tells them they don't wanna be in a relationship with them and doesn't see a future with them?" he asked me pointedly.

"Why would anyone want to get in a relationship if they don't think they're good enough in the first place?" I blurted out.

"But you are good enough," he sighed.

"No, I'm not, Nick. I know you tell me that I am, but I'm really not," I laughed humorlessly.

"You really are. I have never felt love the way that I feel it with you. I've never loved someone like that and no one's ever loved me like that either. Emma, I swear we're meant to be. Just give it one more shot," he pleaded.

"Why? For what? We keep hurting each other," I huffed, getting frustrated because I know I want to give in but I don't know if we'll last. I really wish I could see the future right now and base my decision off of that.

"Emma, if you love me then you'll say yes," he said.

"You can't do that, you're giving me an ultimatum," I huffed.

"Call me whatever you want for doing that but yeah, I am. Do you love me?" he asked. He was frustrated with our situation to the point where he just wants me to say yes.

"I want time, Nick. Can you give me that?"

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