• • •

I felt my body turn utterly cold. As though the messenger of misery had come. Ready to take me away.

Clutching on to the balcony railings, I remained paralysed; unable to move. No matter how much I screamed, yelled to move. I couldn't. I was frozen.

Staring down from the balcony my eyes remains glued on the cars swarming outside the manor; filling in every corner, from the corner of my eyes I saw Agha reach towards his pocket and pull out a gun. Making my eyes widen.

Agha

" If they value their life. They'll leave" Agha yelled in turkish as I stared at the men dressed in black, open the manor gates, standing behind Agha. As if he was their leader. Their Pasha.

Holding in my breath, I stared at a man leaning against a black car. A smirk on his face as he stared at Agha who held a gun straight at him. And the scariest part was, this man didn't even flinch.

" Agha! You loyal dog"

The man commented as I stared at the cars now surrounding him. How easily an army of men came out. Their cold stonic faces staring at the guards around the house. Almost as if they were ready to murder each other.

" Where is Khizan! I heard he is here. We've come to greet him" The man continued as I felt myself tense seeing Baba walk out of the house and towards the man.

The very presence of Baba had everyone tensing. Parting like the red sea, Baba walked forward now standing behind Agha. His back facing me.

Holding on to my breath I tried to make out what they were saying. Anything at all; yet there was nothing. My eyes flickered to my father and then towards the man leaning against the car.

The stranger nodded, a dark smirk on his face as he glanced up yet at the very moment I could feel someone grab me from behind. Making me shriek and turn around. Seeing Noursheen wide eyes stare at me.

" What do you think you're doing?" She snapped rushing towards the balcony before closing the French doors followed by the curtains.

I could feel my heart beating wildly, still in shock. Glancing worried at the woman, she sighed, running her hand across her forehead.

" I was just looking outside" I spoke seeing the woman shake her head before she inhaled sharply. Her eyes glancing at me.

" Farya, you can't be doing this. You have to be careful what if they saw you" She spoke making me stare at her dumbfounded. So what if they saw.

Walking towards my bed, I felt a stinging pain rush through my feet making me hiss. The once angry look on Noursheen face soon dissolved as she rushed towards me.

Sitting on the bed, she stared at my bloody feet as she gasped. Her face paling.

" Farya what have you done?" She cried out inspecting my feet before she shot upwards.

" Well it's funny you ask-" I started seeing the woman glancing around frantically, before she rushed out of the room as if her backside was on fire.

Okay then

A minute didn't pass as I stared at Noursheen walking inside the room with a first aid box. Mumbling something under her breath she kneeled beside me. Cleaning the wound her eyes flickered towards mine .

" What happened?"

She asked as the familiar memory flashed before me. It was all his fault, Mustafa. If he hadn't creeped up on me. I wouldn't have hurt my feet. But something at the back of my mind told me to twist the truth. From the reaction Agha had towards Mustafa. I wouldn't risk seeing Noursheen's.

" I stepped on a glass at the beach- by the way. How did Agha know where I was" I asked curiously seeing the woman put a plaster on my feet before wrapping it with a bandage. Noursheen gave me a foreign look before she stood up. Brushing her hands with the wipes.

" How can we not. We've known since the first day" She spoke as she walked around the room. Flicking the lights on, the room around me lit up as I stared at the woman shocked. Unable to say anything.

They knew all this time

" Why didn't you tell me"

" The same reason why you didn't tell us"

Noursheen spoke as she sat beside me. Her beautiful face glowing under the light. I sometimes wished she was my mother. Then again, she already was. I didn't need to be related to her by blood to know this.

I could feel her soft hands brush my cheeks as she gave me a sad smile. A dimple appearing on her cheek. Leaning in to her touch, I felt tears blur my vision feeling utterly lonely all of a sudden.

" I don't want to get married Nourie" I choked out seeing, uttering the words I feared seeing the woman swallow back her tears as she nodded. Unable to say anything.

" If Roshan was here he wouldn't have let them" I whispered feeling tears roll down my cheeks. Her warm arms embraced me as she nodded.

" I know baby. I know" She cooed brushing my hair with her fingers. Rocking me like a child, as she did all those years ago. She cupped my face before placing a kiss on my cheeks.

" Roshan would be so proud of you Farya. You're so strong" She hiccuped stroking my cheeks as she gave me a sad smile.

Moving away from the embrace after what felt like years. I could see Baba stand near the door. His blue eyes glancing at me and then towards Noursheen.

Clearing her throat, the woman placed a kiss on my forehead before she smiled. Realising the atmosphere had tensed around us.

" Get some sleep Farya. It's been a long day" She spoke before walking towards the door. I could see Baba glance at Noursheen, an unknown look flashing in his eyes before he moved away as the door closed.

" Why are you doing this to her Fatih. Can you not see how much she is hurting?"

Noursheen soft voice reached my ears as I laid on the bed. My eyes glancing upwards at the ceiling and then towards calligraphy on to it. Holding the secrets of man in them.

" Noursheen let it be"

He replied almost softly and I could hear her scoff and despite myself I smiled at the gesture. Only Noursheen had the guts to face baba- then again. She had practically grown up with him.

Noursheen's father used to work for my grandad and would occasionally bring her with him. So it was only natural they would play together even if baba was five years older than her.

" Fatih you're driving her away by yourself. You'll regret it one day"

Noursheen spat back as a long silence fell upon us before baba spoke. His voice barely reaching my ears.

" There are many things I regret Nourie"

And that was the last I heard. Maybe because I fell asleep or maybe because I no longer wanted to hear. Like many other nights, I saw him again.

I saw Roshan again yet this time. Something was different about him. We were no longer in my bedroom, but rather we were outside in the garden and despite the fact that he didn't say anything. He looked in peace. Almost happy.

"... And then when you come home. Make sure you're ready. The ceremony will start at eight"

A voice spoke snapping me out of my thoughts. Looking from my plate of Kuymak I glanced upwards at my mother walking around the kitchen in her jogging clothes.

" I'm sorry what?" I spoke seeing the woman look at me. Her eyes widening as she shook her head. Flabbergasted over the fact that I hadn't been listening.

" Farya where is your head lately. I said get home early you'll be meeting Emre today and well announce your engagement as well" She spoke as I felt my breathing hitch. The world closing in around me. Glancing down at my food, I was no longer hungry. Pushing the plate away I glanced at Noursheen who avoided any eye contact.

Oh great

" I'm going" I muttered reaching towards my bag. Pushing the stool after me, I glanced at Agha who walked just in time.

" Ready?"

He asked making me nod. Not bothering to turn around or even say goodbye.

I walked towards Agha seeing the tall man walk steadily. His pace fast yet not rushed. Standing near the double doors i reached towards the coat racks. Pulling my jacket on, I was greeted to the cold air of Istanbul morning.

Glancing around the large courtyard I could see the security was extra tight today. No brainer why. With men dressed in black suits, it alsmot felt like a fancy party but of course, not with those emotionless look on their faces it didn't.

Strolling towards the black Mercedes I found myself sitting inside the soft lush seats at the front. Agha soon got inside and before we knew it, we were driving off.

There remained silence around us as I peeked at Agha. Not knowing how to bring the topic up.

" Why didn't you tell them the truth last night?" I asked finally seeing Agha look at me before shaking his head. Almost as if he was biting bank his words.

" If I told your father you were near that man. He'd have your head and then mine" He spoke coldly making my body tense. What was so bad about him. Sure, Mustafa looked pretty intimidating with his heightening figure and his obsession of wearing black suits and not to mention the small scar on his face but I didn't know these guys judged others by looks.

" Stay away from him Farya. If you care about your life that is" Agha spoke as we reached the all too familiar building. Glancing at Agha nervously, I nodded before stepping out of the car. And the sad truth was, I didn't care about my life. Not anymore.

" Your father said you can invite your friends for the ceremony tonight" Agha said making me inhale sharply and slam the car door.

As ever Guliez and Deniz were both waiting for me. The moment I walked towards them, I somehow felt at peace. Till Agha words rang through my ears.

" I'm getting engaged tonight"

That was the first thing I said as I reached them. There was a mix of emotions from both of them. Surprise, anger and sadness. Yet from Deniz I received I look I couldn't quite fathom.

" That's er.. great" Guliez spoke kindly as if that was supposed to make me feel better. Sighing I ran my fingers through my brown locks wanting to focus on something other than the fact I was getting married to a complete stranger.

" Who is he?" Deniz asked calmly making me shrug trying to remember the man's name again. Which was quite bad seen as I was to be betrothed tonight.

" Emre Vidit" I spoke seeing Deniz jaw clench tightly as he cursed before kicking the wall in anger.

" Why what's wrong?" I whispered nervously seeing Deniz run a hand through his brown- blonde hair. His face turning red with anger.

" Out of all the fucking people. You dad chooses that family" He muttered making my heart beat loudly. Staring at him sceptically he tried breathing normally again. Making me take a step backwards from the man.

" Let's say they have a certain reputation. And Emre, he isn't someone you give your daughter to. He already has a child with his girlfriend who they try and hide"

Deniz spoke angrily making me stagger backwards. My heart pounding loudly. Blood rushed from my forehead as I stared at Deniz, taking in his words.

" I'm gonna go. I need to think"

I spoke barely making my words out seeing Deniz try to reach towards me but luckily Guliez stopped him. Knowing I needed some space.

I needed to breath. I needed air.

I was suffocating, as if there was a ripe around me and each passing moment it got tighter and tighter.

Pulling my hood upwards, I reached towards the scarf in my bag. Tying it around me and partially on my face, I made my way out of the campus.

Looking around I prayed silently, hoping my father hadn't assigned someone to watch me constantly. Crossing the road, I stood near the bus stop knowing where my destination would be next.

I needed to be near the sea. That's where Roshan would be.

Too lost in my thoughts, I didn't realise a black car had pulled beside me. Tensing, I felt my heart drop realising it'd probably be the guards dad has assigned to me.

Oh please no.

The window rolled down as I held in my breath feeling my eyes flicker towards a familiar pair of grey.

Mustafa

" Get in" He spoke, his thick accent reaching my ears making me roll my eyes and scoff at him. As if I'd get in the car with him. He was a complete stranger.

" You have about a minute till the guards assigned to you over there-" he pointed towards a white car at the end of the building.

"- realises that you've sneaked out. So Farya be a good girl and get in" He spoke. His voice firm making me close my eyes.

What was I getting myself in to.

" You could kidnap me or even kill me" I spoke flabbergasted seeing the handsome man roll his eyes as he brushed his hand through his stubble.

" The idea sounds appealing but I don't lay hand on women. Now get in or else your parents will" He spoke through clenched teeth, as if he knew something I didn't and for the first time. I listened to my heart instead of my brains.

Reaching towards the door at the front. I sat inside the soft leather car before closing the door behind me.

Farya what are you doing? I thought inwardly before glancing at the man before me. Seeing his gaze trained ahead.

A heavy silence fell on us as I stared at the man. Assessing his features. He was handsome without a doubt. With his sharp jawline and striking features, I wondered how many women this man had. Till it dawned on me, that was none of my business.

" How's your feet?" He asked making me glance down at my sneakers. Shrugging my shoulder I tried to act nonchalant as if my feet wasn't hurting when in fact it was the opposite.

" It'll be fine. No biggie" I spoke seeing him nod but the man wasn't convinced. Clearing my throat I glanced ahead seeing the man turn the car on as he drove swiftly.

" Where do you want to go?" He asked making me glance at the man. Seeing his jaw clenched tightly as he drove. His eyes darkening.

" To the coast"

I spoke seeing him nod. A heavy silence played around us as I glanced out of the window and towards the busy streets of Istanbul. I sometimes wished I was different. What if I hadn't been born in to this family, would I be out in the market. Shopping and drinking tea or would I be locked in my home. Unable to move anywhere.

" We're here" Mustafa deep voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I hadn't realised I was so lost in my thoughts. Glancing towards the man, I nodded.

Stepping out of the car, I felt the man do the same yet all I wanted to do was run towards the waves. There was a path of large rocks around us as I walked on top of them. Fearing any wrong move and I'll fall on my face.

The smell of the ocean greeted me as I walked towards the edge seeing the water hit against the rocks. Sitting down, I felt my fingers brush against the water as the soft breeze brushed past my face.

In heaven there will be rivers of every kind..and Farya if you're a good girl. I'll ask Allah to give you a river of chocolate.

Roshan's familiar words reached my ears as my fingers played with the water. Feeling the water splash on to my face a little.

" What happened to your face?" The man beside me asked, making me look upwards at him. Seeing his dark gaze locked on mine.

" It's none of your business" I muttered standing up. Taking a step forward, I tried moving away when all of a sudden his large hand reached towards mine. Holding it tightly.

I could feel the man pull me towards him. My hands now hitting against his hard chest as his strong cologne reached my nose.

" Mustafa let go" I muttered seeing his jaw clench tightly as he shook his head. Not bothered the least that someone would see us. This man was utterly crazy.

" Not until you tell me why you have a bruise, that despite your best effort, doesn't hide. Who did it?" He demanded making me roll my eyes feeling frustrated. What did he know. He was a complete stranger.

" Mustafa. You're a complete stranger and besides I fell" I lied miserably seeing the man shake his head and give me a mocking look.

I could feel him take a dangerous step towards me. His face inches away from mine as he inspected my jaw. A dark look flashing in his eyes.

" It must have been some fall"

He muttered, his warm breath fanning across my face making it hard for me to breath. Moving away from him, I turned my face to the sea seeing the man stare at me.

Farya I'll take us somewhere far away from here. Where no one would find us

Roshan words whispered against my ears. Years blurred my vision seeing the waves roll down. Washing away the secrets of men. I sat down on the rocks again. For how long I don't know. I stared at the sea, at the waves crashing in and then I thought of Roshan. Of how much he loved the sea. How he yearned to be free; away from all this.

" I had a brother, his name was Roshan" I spoke glancing at Mustafa seeing him nod. His eyes flickering towards mine.

" He loved the beach. We'd go almost every weekend. Whenever we could" I whispered staring at the waves crashing ashore. Hitting the rocks. Colouring it with it's tragedy.

" He said he'll take me away from here one day but he left without me" I whispered feeling my throat tighten seeing the man beside me tense. His face turning emotionless.

" The paramedics said he overdosed. That his addiction was the cause of it but I know it wasn't. He was dying everyday. He wanted to be free and now he is"

I whispered feeling tears roll down my cheeks. My breathing labouring. I could feel the scarf fall from my neck and on to the floor. Pulling my legs to my chest I felt the tears flowing and my body shaking with pain.

Brushing my tears away, I glanced at my wrist watch seeing it half three making me stand upwards. The sudden impact making me dizzy.

" Shit I'm late"

I cried practically running away from the rocks whilst Mustafa followed behind me. His deep voice reaching my ears.

" What for?" He asked slowly making me shake my head unable to register my thoughts.

" Can you drop me off near campus" I turned around facing him seeing the man stare at me. His gaze darkening; almost as if a storm was brewing inside of them.