• • •

I thought, at this point in life I should be accustomed to fear. To understand the chilling feeling crawling down your spine and the ever eventful churning in your stomach. That was all signs of fear right? I knew that.

However as I stared at the beast of a man before me. His dark grey eyes boring in to mine and the way his jaw clenched tightly. It seemed I had forgotten the definition of fear, because all I felt now was an anatomy beyond fear.

Glancing at his enraged face, instinctively I staggered backwards seeing his eyes flash a shade darker and in that moment. I truly wondered if I had listened to my parents- I wouldn't be here with this man.

I wouldn't be backing away and praying to be saved from him. All of a sudden I wanted to call out for Deniz again, for him to take me far away from here.

" Stop. You're scaring me" I murmured like a defenceless child seeing the man turn his head in a circular motion. His towering figure looming over mine.

" You don't know what fear is, woman"

He muttered darkly almost as if he was restraining himself, making me gulp. Feeling chills splurge down my body. I could see him run a hand past his growing stubble as he closed his eyes tightly. Inhaling a sharp breath.

" If I see you in the arms of another man Farya. So god help me" He muttered lowly, his warm breath fanning across my neck before he moved away. Leaving me utterly shocked.

" Why? I don't understand. We're not 'really' married?" I whispered slowly seeing his face darken. Something flashing in his eyes as he stared at me for the longest of times.

" If you're still under the illusion that you're not my 'real 'wife. Then I suggest you get it out of your head"

He spat making me tense, my breathing halting as I stared at him now, for the longest of times.

" You married me for revenge, Moustafa"

I spoke the very words I had uttered from before seeing a dark smile fall across his face. It seemed as though the mask he wore was now peeling off. As he leaned in, inches away from me.

" Then be it revenge Farya, but remember. You'll always be tied with me. Till death do us apart"

Moustafa spoke as he traced his finger down my jaw making my breathing hitch. Glancing down abruptly it felt as though the room around me was closing in. Staggering backwards, I rushed away from him and out of the door wanting to catch some fresh air. I needed to breath. I was feeling lightheaded all of a sudden.

Just as I stepped out of the room with Moustafa hot on my heels. A loud voice boomed behind us making me tense.

" I'm back peasants"

An unfamiliar voice yelled as I glanced over my shoulders. My eyes landing on a handsome man at the door. I could see him walk inside with his suitcase as he pulled his coat on the hanger. His piercing green eyes scanning around.

" Uncle Kenan"

A small voice called out, as I glanced at Mirya running towards Kenan who embraced her. Pulling the small girl in to a bear hug.

" Now Mirya, you must kiss my hand. I have come from the house of god. I am blessed"

The man grinned as Mirya gave him a puzzled look just in time for Murat to walk out and pull the girl in to his arms.

" Don't kiss his hand Princess. You only went for a week Kenan. And your filthy self won't ever be blessed" Murat spoke monotone making the man, Kenan roll his eyes but nonetheless smile broadly.

" Elif I'm home. I've got you some clothes and dates and -"

The man's voice trailed off as he suddenly stared at me. His eyes widening. It was as though he had seen a ghost as his face paled, almost ashen making me glance down. Feeling out of place. Almost as if I was intruding.

" oh shit! I'm hallucinating. I swear I can see Moustafa's Farya"

He murmured almost to himself yet it was loud enough for me to hear making my heart drop. Glancing towards Moustafa the man now walked towards Kenan. Embracing him all the whilst Kenan's eyes were trained on me.

" I thought you were talking shit when you said you're married; but how is she here. What is going on?"

Kenan spoke confused as I stared at my hands. Wanting the world to open up and swallow me in as Moustafa's mother walked towards Kenan. Embracing the man before she spoke. Her sharp words making my heart jump.

" You'd be surprised. Your brother is married to the enemy. He has forgotten his values and upbringing. He has brought the woman who is the cause of your uncle's death, for your hamza's death"

The woman spat glaring at me. Her cold killer like eyes piercing at mine. A cold dread crawled down my spine as I inhaled sharply. Feeling utterly drenched with embarrassment.

" Do you remeber that day Kenan. Hamza went to Istanbul. Elif was eight months pregnant. He was shot straight in his heart. His beautiful soft heart"

The woman spoke as I felt the world around me spin, my eyes trailing towards Elif who gripped against the chair. Almost to stop herself from falling on to the floor.

" Yet justice was partially served. Their own son committed suicide. He was a druggie and I thank God everyday that Fatih and Lila saw their son die"

The woman spoke and it felt as though my legs could no longer support me. My limbs felt heavy as I stared at the heartless woman. Tears blurring my vision.

They know nothing about Roshan.

My Roshan

" Mother enough"

Moustafa spoke as I staggered backwards. My back hitting against the wooden stairs railings.

" Why Moustafa? Does she warm your bed that much that you forget your father and brother?" The woman growled as I felt my eyes flicker towards Moustafa. Seeing his face red. Anger swirling in them.

" If you even think of getting this whore pregnant. I will shoot them both"

" Esma! You dare threaten my grandson and his children?"

A voice yelled from the kitchen whilst I closed my eyes. The burning tears stinging my vision. This was a nightmare. This was hell.

Opening my eyes. I felt my them land on the elderly man from before as he stood up. His tall figure heightening over hers.

A shocked look came across Esma face as the man looked at me. His kind eyes reminding me of my grandfathers.

" They killed your son. Your grandson"

" And we killed theirs. Or have you forgotten"

He boomed as my legs gave in. Falling backwards on the stairs I stared utterly shocked at the man before me. Not believing my ears. How can they talk so easily about death. About killing. And who did they kill? This was all too much.

" Whether her parents are our enemies or not. She is now Moustafa's wife if I hear anyone mistreating her. They will see to me"

The elderly man spoke as he gave Esma one last look before walking out of the front door and disappearing down the patio and towards the road.

Closing my eyes tightly. I held back a sob hearing Esma's word roll in my ears again and again. Till it became a mantra.

All of a sudden I had this sudden urge to run from here. To run far far away and never come back. To never see their faces again and that's what I did. With unknown strength I stood up and ran past everyone in to the cold. Hearing yelling behind me, but all voices turned deaf to my ears. As I ran, through the door and down the large patio.

I could feel something building inside of me. Like lava ready to erupt. Breathing in heavily, my chest was on fire as I ran and ran. Through the hills and the road. I ran till my limbs turned numb and my bare feet could no longer carry on.

I ran till all I could see was tress and the presence of wind and when I realised the world had turned its eyes blind on me. I fell to the ground. My loud cry echoing across the forest.

I cried for myself. I cried out for Nourie and I cried out for Roshan.

Staring upwards at the grey sky I felt my body shake as tears swarmed down my face. I could feel my heart beating wildly, almost as if it was ready to jump out of my throat. And all I prayed for was a miracle to come, through the darkness.

" Daughter what are you doing here?"

A voice suddenly spoke behind me as I tensed, glancing over my shoulder.

Through the blurry vision I could feel my eyes landing on a tall figure seeing ... Imaam Mebarak.

" Imaam Mebarak?"

I croaked out seeing the man glance down at me worriedly. Following his trial, I felt a soft gasp escape my lips seeing my feet all bruised and bleeding. All of a sudden I was aware of my surroundings and the fact that my skin was now utterly cold, and my hands were shaking abnormally.

" Farya my daughter. What are you doing here? Come get up, let me take you to the mosque" The man spoke as he helped me up before he pulled his long coat off him.

" Here put this on. You'll catch a cold" he spoke worriedly as he handed me his coat and I took it in appreciation. My hands still shaking, whether from crying or from the cold. I knew not.

" The mosque is just there" Imaam Mebarak spoke as I followed him, feeling the coat around my body warming me up. I could see the small mosque come in to sight as I stared at it. In awe.

" My daughter is also there. Don't worry she'll get you something warm"

The man spoke kindly as I nodded and we walked down the road and towards the mosque which had a small garden at the back. I could see there were two portions to it. One was the main mosque and a few feet away was another small part, almost like a room. I'm assuming that was the ladies side.

" Layla my child. Come here quickly " Imaam Mebarak spoke as he led me towards the room. I could see the doors being opened and a beautiful woman standing in front of us.

" Aba you're back. Here please come in" Layla spoke as she opened the door for us wider allowing her father to step in and I too, followed inside the small room.

Imaam Mebarak removed his shoes as he walked towards the small benches that were covered with red long fabric and pillows.

" Get our daughter Farya, something to eat and some plaster for her feet" The elderly man spoke to his daughter who nodded. Adjusting her scarf so it covered her long blonde hair before rushing outside.

Taking a seat, I found myself hissing in pain as I closed my eyes. Feeling them burn.

" My child. What's wrong? Why do you look so sad?" Imaam spoke as I glanced at the man feeling my lower lip wobble. Tears blurring my vision.

" I'm so tried. I want to go home, but I have no home " I whispered pathetically seeing the elderly man nod as he looked down sadly.

" Is Moustafa not treating you well?" He asked softly making me swallow sharply, not knowing the answer to that question. Moustafa wasn't mistreating me but-

" He is doing his best" I whispered truthfully in the house of god as Imaam Mebarak nodded, looking a little relieved.

" Then I'm assuming it's sister Esma" The man spoke and just the mention of the dreadful woman's name. I felt my stomach turning and he must have realised as he quickly cleared his throat.

" Don't think you have no where Farya. This is a house of god. It's open for everyone" Imaam Mebarak spoke just as the door opened and Layla walked inside. Her large blue eyes glancing at me as she offered me a kind smile.

" I've bought you a headscarf and some first aid equipments"

" Don't worry my child. My daughter layla is a nurse. You're in safe hands"

The man spoke encouraging as Layla reached towards a small stool before putting it near my feet. Placing them on to it. I glanced at the woman putting on some gloves before she opened some antiseptic wipes and brushed it slowly.

" It may sting a little" She murmured softly making me nod. Biting on to my inner cheek. I stared at the woman cleaning my wounds before she pulled out a white bandage.

" You should be careful. You've got some deep cuts on your feet"

Layla spoke as she wrapped a bandage around my feet making me nod. I could see the woman take her gloves off and dispose them in the bin before washing her hands in the small sink.

" I've not fully introduced myself. My name is Layla but I think you know that already" She spoke softly before smiling at me broadly.

" Thank you Layla. I'm Farya" I spoke smiling back seeing the woman embrace me, startled a little I felt her move away as she reached towards a small tray.

" I love your name. By the way, I've got you some pain killers. Here" Layla handed me some pain killers and water as I took it. Ignoring the fact that her name was very similar to my mother's, Lila.

" Farya my child, does Moustafa know where you are?" The man asked softly making me tense before I gave a small shake from my head. Indicating a no.

" It's best we inform him you're here. He must be worried" Imaam Mebarak spoke, almost as if he was asking me and all I did in return was stay quiet and look down at the half empty glass.

" Layla call Moustafa from my phone" The man spoke as he handed Layla his phone who nodded. Scrolling through the phone, she passed it towards her father who put it near his ears.

" Peace be upon you Moustafa. How are you my son?" Imaam Mebarak spoke through the phone as he nodded at something from the other line.

" Yes, I'm aware. In fact, Farya is here with us, don't worry she is in safe hands. No, she's well. Would you like to speak to her?"

Imaam Mebarak spoke as he glanced at me making me shake my head seeing the elderly man nod understanding.

" Moustafa my son. Farya is a little tired. Of course" Imaam Mebarak spoke as he held the phone in his hand before glancing at me and then at his daughter.

" Moustafa is coming to pick you up" Imaam Mebarak spoke making me tense. My heart dropping. I inhaled sharply before glancing down at my shaky hands. Fearing what scene awaited me when I went back.

" Farya, do you not want to go with him?" He asked cautiously. Shaking my head, I heard the man clear his throat as he nodded.

" And no one will force. If you want, my home is open for you. I just have my Layla and my wife. You can stay with them if you want" He offered kindly as I felt my throat constructing feeling tears blur my vision.

" I can't burden you Imaam. It's okay I'll manage" I whispered softly seeing Layla give me a sad smile as she sat next to me. Hugging me sideways.

I didn't expect myself to hiss from the sudden impact yet as I jumped at Layla's touch. I felt the woman tense.

" Farya?"

Layla whispered horrified as Imaam Mebarak stood up and walked towards the door, completely oblivious to what just happened.

I hadn't realised a car had pulled near the mosque and I'm assuming Imaam Mebarak went to greet the person.

" Can I look?" Layla asked making me shake my head. Not wanting her, or anyone for that matter to look at my back. I had enough scars to show.

" Farya, if you don't want to go with Moustafa. You can stay with us. Our house will always be open for you"

Layla offered kindly making me nod. At loss for words. How were they so kind, offering a stranger their home, but all thoughts left me as the door rattled a little.

I could see the door opening suddenly as I glanced upwards. My breath hitching at the sight before me.

There he stood, at the entrance of the door. His frantic eyes glancing around as they landed on me. A look of relief flashing in them before he masked them quickly.

" Brother Moustafa. Welcome" Layla spoke as she greeted Moustafa who smiled and greeted her back.

" I'll give you a minute" Layla spoke as she walked towards the door before closing it behind her, leaving me all alone with Moustafa.

A heavy silence fell all around us, as I held the veil in my hands and placed it across my head seeing Moustafa stare at me.

" Don't ever do that again, Farya"

He spoke darkly as he pulled his shoes off and walked further in to the room making me back away. The act not going unnoticed by him.

" You could have got hurt or-" His voice was softer as it trailed. Glancing down at where he was looking, I felt him stare at my feet which were now covered with a bandage whilst the other one looked slightly decent yet it had scratches everywhere.

" You're going to be the death of me one day"

He murmured almost to himself as he rushed towards me making me tense. Moving away from him.

" Don't come near me.. please" I spoke slowly, raising my hand to stop his movement as his face flashed with pain before he closed his eyes.

" Don't you see. Our families hate each other. They're already planning on killing me" I rasped out hoarsley, my throat dry seeing his jaw clench tightly.

" No one will ever do anything to you. You're my wife "

" How long for. You won't always be with me Moustafa"

I murmured realistically seeing his shoulder raise a little. His body tensing as he leaned before me. Even then his face was near mine.

" Moustafa we got married in a blur. You married me so they don't kill me. You saved my life now and I'm thankful, for the rest of my life, but I can't do this "

" We've been married for three days Farya"

He spoke thickly. His cold grey eyes staring at my brown ones making me glance down at my hands. Not wanting to see the reflection in them.

" And look what that says about us. Do you really think this will work. The minute you go. They'll kill-"

" I told you. No one will harm a single hair on you"

" But they have"

I wasn't meant to say it, but the words flowed out of my mouth as the man inhaled sharply. His handsome face twisting.

I could feel Moustafa slowly reach towards me, making me back away. Feeling my heart beat wildly. Fear consuming me.

" Don't touch me Moustafa. Please leave, I'm not coming"

I spoke seeing his eyes widen. A dark look flashing across them as he leaned back. His voice barely recognisable.

" Ask me of anything and I'll give it to you"

Moustafa murmured as he reached towards the veil on my head. Brushing his fingers on my loose strand, before he brought it towards his nose and then his lips.

I could hear him speak. His voice pained, leaving me breathless.

" But don't ask me to stay away from you, Farya Aydin"

• • •